Saturday, December 29, 2007

One Moment After Another

The feeling of being in alignment and expressing myself and not holding back my feelings and being honest with myself and others brings such joy into my life. Each moment offers me a deeper glimpse into myself and find that I am more inclined to want to be in the silence and appreciating the smallest things. The clock still ticks and so does my ear and there is a song leading toward a revolution which is merely the evolution of humanity. People are opening up their eyes and sharing more love during some very challenging times now and ahead. The road is long and at times quite arduous but you can stop and just breathe along the way and kiss the wind or let the wind kiss you whatever it is that you prefer or imagine. Mars could be seen and the planet align in ways that can only mean wild times are coming and have been coming for quite sometime. I have always been a believer even if I couldn't prove it that things will eventually work themselves out and I just need to keep cultivating the love and a quiet mind so that I can hold a space for healing.

Born in a big apple raised in a garden State and went to college in state where people point to their hand to describe where they live. I don't really call any place my home more then heaven or that dimension of the formless. Life is a mysterious opportunity to realize that we are not just any one wave but that we are the ocean. I am dancing even when I am still and there is a madness, sadness and joy and all of it is merely one thing, but different angles of the same face which give the face a different appearance.

Where were you when? What will be some of those for our generation I wonder? I want to wish everyone a happy New Year and Thank the New England Patriots for finding there on sort of perfection of 16-0 to remind us that those things are still possible in this world and I love seeing Randy Moss find redemption in the Northeast. We all deserve a fresh start if we are willing to embrace it. The weather report says "There maybe a bit of rain and even a few hurricanes, but there will most certainly be a rainbow with Judy Garland singing at the end". And maybe we are still in Kansas and we just need to remember that there is no place like home wherever home may be for you. For me home is a feeling that I carry inside of me everyone that I go.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I have A Sign And Comes With Me Everywhere

So I have a sign and on two sides it briefly gives my story and tells more about me then any other item that I may have. It reflects my tongue and cheek attitude towards fame and how fame is viewed as being credible especially when the masses already doubt that such things might exist. Then on the other side is the Rapper the word slinger here to entertain and ease your troubles in a less unnerving way. The rapper is quite talkative and he has a booming voice and on that part of the sign many meaningful places that I have been are written. Places that have played a significant role on my journey as a spiritual seeker who sporadically moonlights as an entertainer because sometimes you have to give the people what they want so they will want what you have to give. There are at least 50 ways to leave your lover and a million and one ways to sneak up on people when they are not looking and most people are distracted so often that they are never really paying attention to what is happening that hasn't fully transpired in a way that Time Magazine has written about it. Yet Time always seems slightly behind the moment because the moment is Prophet lost in the business world lost in the entertainment industry lost in politics lost in a day that may never come and forgetting to embrace the day that is here. It only takes one person to tip the entire scale. It all takes one for a revolution to manifest it only takes one who allows themselves to see beyond the facade placed before us.

Chase me chase me push me pull me push me pull me and I might just come, but I am always coming to a greater understanding of a inner feeling that means never being lost and means always being home because there is a home that we have lost sight of and this will all end so quickly for a new beginning to take place. Each person helped me to wake up to both the dark and light sides of myself. I very drawn to being the Buddha just being and allowing life to go up and down and I always be. Up down rise and crash and yet I always be in my body out of my body I always be. There are sounds that some people can not hear and there are things that until your gaze is faultless would sound like fiction.

The Native American is returning though he takes on different forms and the stage is changing while the current has been pulled down. New actors are going to be moving towards the front of the stage. Yet the most powerful ones will usually remain off stage effecting things in ways that we sense but can't quite explain. There are many things about our lives that we would have a hard time trying to explain to ourselves or anyone else whom we may encounter.

Recharging My Spiritual Battery For Battles Ahead

I can feel myself not wanting to do things that I used to do and just more of awareness that things that seemed utterly important don't hold the same meaning. Our awareness of things determines our perspective about our life and therefore the world around us. I am listening to new types of music and channeling new sounds in my healing. New York is on my mind and just helping bring an end to all the needless suffering in the world. Everybody should have access to clean water and basic medical treatment.
All the wars we fight start with the wars that we wage in our minds and then they spread outwards. All of this entire life will pass and I will be explaining to my grandchildren what the hell pay phones when they are shown in old movies. I find that I want to feel my deepest emotions that have been held back because it wasn't practical. I can feel a desire to come undone in regards to letting go of any pretenses that I put forward in an attempt to protect something that is not real. I can feel myself reacting less often, but when I do react I can feel it almost take over and then I become aware of it and then this "pain body" as Tolle describes pulls back because it can not exist in a state of heightened awareness. Only deep love exists in total awareness.

A good friend of mine just went to Brazil to see John of God for the next month and I got to see her just before she left and I feel that a part of me is going there. When we realize our connection to everyone we can rejoice in their joys as things that are happening to us because in such a greater sense these amazing things are happening to us. I recently opened up a Rolling Stone magazine to find one of the year's break thru artists. I slept on his girlfriend's floor one night back in late 2004 early 2005 nearby UCLA's campus. He is such a positive energy to him and he is bringing forth music that makes people experience a deeper joy. It reminds that there are reasons why we encounter all the people that we meet along the way. I am 28 years old and I am just going to keep following the flow wherever it will take me wherever I am needed to be is where I shall allow myself to be.

The 80's keep resurfacing and I keep hearing people say "Nobody pushes baby in corner". Sometimes my writing is emotionally charged and other times it is more of a calm reflection and they both serve a purpose in their given moment. I have been couchsurfing with the most wonderful people in San Francisco. The city is so amazing and I am always running into people that remind me "Aren't you the guy from Union Square Park". Yet as I write that I realize that how easy it is to change our identity. At our core there is something about us that never changes. I strive to always remain aware of that inner feeling that does not depend on other people's reactions to feel either good or bad. This month had a major resurgence of people from my past that I had not heard from in a while and each one came to remind me of a different point in my journey. This very moment is my oasis. This very moment I am born a child merely observing the world and as a fully present observer I help to alter the outcome assuming you believe in free will. I do believe in free will, but it takes great will to bring it forward.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

THis Is For You I Know you Will Read This

On occassion I use my blog to write a personal message to someone and this is one of those times. OKay so here goes often there are things we want to express towards someone and we don't say them because we are scared how they might react or how we might react. There seem to be moments that get away as if we could somehow turn back the clock and make a different choice, but we can't and there is a part of us that so desperately wants to know what would have happened and what would things be like now. Yet all of us are exactly where we are supposed to be and the choices that we have are in this moment and there is nothing that is done that doesn't have a chance to be undone be it this life or the next. Though I am personally in favor of getting it done in this life. When I met you my guard was up and so was yours in our different ways, but enough of our true essence poured through that it never disappeared.

I don't by any means have a history of monogamy and I never have been against it I just have not an opportunity to be in that situation with someone and being a nomad well it is not exactly easy. I was willing once to curb my roaming feet and though now does appear to be the right time when that does come I will curb my roaming feet. I do my best to allow my heart to guide more then any other force in this world. You have a beautiful pull on my heart and even from a long distance I feel extremely close to you. Thank you so much for everything that you have allowed yourself to channel and the healing space you have allowed yourself to hold for me. I have already felt influence my choices that I am making. People are what make me want to be somewhere more then geography it is certain people that have a pull on me and these people are the open ones those who are willing to take fools leap and if you ever decide to take one ..................... I know that you would teach me alot and you already just by being you.

Monday, December 24, 2007

I am President in Favor of Threesomes Let's Bring in A Third Party

We are a country of choice we endless shampoos and soaps and video games and resturants and different types of Asian food along with countless bad reality television shows. Yet when it comes to deciding who the next American president we have two choices an antiquated process called the electoral college which creates a situation where the majority no longer rule. It is time to bring back politics back to the 200 million that don't seem have to representation in this country. We are a tribe on a quest to take back the white house and bring it uptown and bring couch surfing to the white house. In case you didn't our Nations capital D.C. has allowing people not getting adequate education, health care, and live in areas that are terrorized by violent crime. Spending 300 million to get a job paying less then half million means that they have 299,500,000 to steal to make up for the difference.

We need to have other choices to choose from and we need them to be looking out for the American people more then the American corporations. We the people are capable of so much more and we all have the right to the pursuit of Happiness and we need to remind the government of this very simple fact. We spend more money on perfecting our ability to kill more people then any other country on earth. We could be spending that money on our kids education. Nobody should have to go into debt to get a college education. Money for schools and better schools and before and after school programs. Don't just say your in favor of education show it with the way you spend our tex dollars.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Even Not Wanting Is Still Wanting

I was talking to a good friend of mine last night and he was worried that he was starting to lose motivation to make money or get with glrls or somehow get more status in this world. Yet at the same time having no desires is the essence of buddhist enlightenment. Yet if you desire not to have desires that is a desire within itself. I got an e-mail recently from a girl I once know and I still know in that other plane of existence that we acknowledge, but most people don't accept as real. My past is based upon my karma which is based upon actions. I feel that I have so much to remember and though my mind is becoming more still it still has scattered thoughts and love is something that keeps expanding and we keep remembering that we are part of some story that we can affect, but there are certain things that we have no control over.

Everyone is a reflection of where we are on our journey and I feel things so acutely at times and other times I am going thru the motions because it is familiar. I touch a level or a sensation and then it passes and then we realize the way that we should feel all the time. So many things going on and things taking place on different levels and part of me is the dead sea and part of me is in Paris and part of me is in chicago New York San francisco and other places that don't even occur to me. Yet this moment we have lifes that keep interescting and then pulling away only to pull back together. We want to be ready for certain things, but we are not ready and we focus too much others and not enough on our true self.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Shake it Up or Shut it Down.

Walk with a little swagger don't be afraid to be a little extra bold. We all have a part in this play and our part is not always meant to be in the background. Sometimes the scene is set and your the one who has to instigate the change. You have to rock the cradle of the mundane. Your energy has a way of opening up eyes when they have been sleeping. People forgot that they are having an experience that they can affect with their choices and they become aware of this when you shake it up. It doesn't take much to start a fire especially when the wood is so dry and the rain just doesn't seem to be coming down.

For some people you are always shaking it up and it is important for you to step back and take a rest and enjoy the sky and the mountains,lakes, rivers, and oceans. You need to relax and breathe with your entire being and feel yourself let go of all your tension. Feel yourself from the inside out and just allow your mind to shut down and to give it a rest and feel yourself floating on clouds. I can feel you relaxing now as you read this and the world will relax around you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

STA Travel Still Owes Me and Now They Confess

Years ago without my written consent STA travel used me in an ad campaign to get Australians to come to NYC. After looking into the matter on my own they sent me a $250 travel voucher as hush money claiming this was somehow a fair amount. For those who have ever tried to buy a ticket to Australia you know that $300 ain't going to get you there. They used me to get thousands of people to come to New York I think that at the very least they owe me a round trip plane ticket to Australia. If anyone who reads my blog in Australia would pass this on it would be greatly appreciated. You can't keep a tall jew down and I was destined to come to the land down under. Help me get to Australia by having STA travel do the right thing. If anyone knows any good lawyers let me know. Below is the enclosed confession and I hardly feel that should suffice. Exploiting freestyle 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping jews STA travel shame on you shame on you. Besides we are endangered species.

We no longer use your image with any promotional material. It was used a few years ago, however, I can guarantee it is no longer distributed in Australia so you can rest easy. Unfortunately, you won’t be receiving any ticket from us, the travel voucher from our US Division will have to suffice

All the best

Basil Hyman

Marketing Director AU & NZ

Monday, December 17, 2007

Can You Call Me

You only call me when I don't seem to want to hear from you. When I think that I have it all figured it out thats when you ring me and that there is a painful echo that blares in the chasms in mind. I thought that I had lost any attachment, but you remind that I still have some and that I don't want to let go fully of the false reality. There are still things I cling to and then you ring me in a way that is both majestic like a blind condor that seems to have better sight then a telescope that sees off into the galaxy's infinite space where light travels back and forth and words cease to explain its size to a mind that views mountains as large. That is all dwarfed by the magnitude that can only humble you to the point that you feel yourself trembling shaken in a way that almost nothing else seems capable of doing. When you ring I fall apart or at least my facade starts to crumble and yet beyond your ring there is a greater ring that is forever linked with all the surrounding sounds.

We are at that point and we don't know where or when but we know that we can fly if we just suspend our reality and going into the smallest often forgotten inner sanctum that holds a constant prayer to know the creator even if our everyday plans don't make room for such an endeavor.

Take Me Back

Forgive me don't forget me and throw me back out on the road. I am nomad and it winds and I walk and if I am stop walking then I might forget. I can't forget because I can never be truly content in not remembering. All of you came to me when I needed to you and I hope that I can do the same for you. I am here in California which is a country onto itself. I was born in a big apple and grew up in the garden state. I love a clean beach wherever I can throw myself into to recharge myself. Cut the embilical chord and I have been in alot of strange places and found familiar faces. I knew that it would always come to this moment where the past blurs to the point that it never happened. All I have is this moment and the music in my head telling me story and giving me hope when the greatest tragedy is forgetting that homes is buried deep inside of all of us we just cover it up with different masks.

If I could fully get of the mind that I would walk through walls and walk on water. Something to do with the electromagnetic field. I am a walking gray ghost chasing a sunrise in a land that seems forgotten and I am trying to get a voucher from an angel to bring forth a miracle to make me question everything and start back at nothing and be content to have everything.

No holds on me I can float and fly to a new height and there is always a hand to reach towards me if I can let go. It is all passing through and Thailand, Hawaii, China, etc.... these are just some of the places that have been nipping at my heals. I have a journey and in most respects it is just begun. I must look towards the moment I ma in for my peace of mind not towards tomorrow or yesterday. We cross all paths for various reasons most of which only make sense in hindsight.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The City that Never Sleeps Certainly takes Naps

I still remember walking around New York on cold nights throwing myself into the city because nothing else seemed to make any sense and in everything about the place that didn't make sense I found myself more and more. In the parks is where I would often make my mark along with walking by a resturant sticking my signs up to the windows to make people laugh, stare and sometimes feel squeamish and sometimes wonder who the hell is that guy. I have been a guy in the background for so many people in the same way that NYC is the background for great stories that lead to other places. Can you hear that jazz in my words. I have stumbled awfully in that city and kissed ladies and tramps and all that in between and falling thru the seams and i have been a seamstress in my own way. The big apple but it is your core and your downtown that I am most drawn to and just being a little Zen in city overcome with angst and pain and a desire to get ahead of something that will get you if you don't stay ahead of it.

For a moment you roll into the next city with me and other New Yorkers find me wherever I go often with a bit of shock as if the statue of liberty were suddenly relocated as well. How does he do it they wonder? How does this seemingly crazy man get around. Three times three is nine and one day someone might think that meant something but for the life of me I can't tell you what all these things mean. I just kind of roll with it. Sometimes my feet and I just keep walking until the pain goes away because I walk miles an miles and miles and then I think of mIles Davis and then I am here wherever here is and just accept that I can't tell you half of what I feel until you decide that you want to feel it to otherwise it sounds like a farce.

What changes in time Never actually changes

I remember inside of everyone is a rebel yell as Billy Idol would say. Sometimes I am calm so calm that it is quite unnerving and I literally have nothing to say because I feel that my eyes say so much more then my words. But the minds is such a chatter box and a good ten seconds of pure silence in a conversation will undo most people. The year is coming to a close assuming you live by the western calendar. Just as I was getting used to writing 2007 I have to get myself ready to write 2008. I have had more close encounters or reminders that this world comes to an end in the same way that waking up from a dream comes to an end. Leaving is only sad to those left behind a feeling of liberation is what most near death experiences describe. I am phantom a grey ghost if you will walking on the ceiling where I can be found dancing to Billy Idol's rebel yell. I want people to give me something that only God can give this is why I am seeker. Praise is great but it never does that trick and I never feel the peace that I do when I hit those moments where I see the world as a passing dream that kisses my face. Sometimes I feel like God says "Hey do you like the new script change or the return of this person from earlier in your life". I lvove to misspell things and just let it sit as it si be cause you understand it all anyway dont you? The 80's 90's and this era are all just one and time is a line that we come in and out of....

I am your mother brother father second cousin twice removed and I know that if I was pig I would just like to be left alone and not be cooked as bacon unless of course you had nothing else to eat. I am elephant mascrading as a donkey who can't spell to save his identity as a college grad. I stil laugh at the fact that I graduated college because I swear it happened to someone us and one day I iwill sell that diploma on e-bay without my parents knowledge. I will cut them on half they bought it and I got the grades to get it. SOrt of a team effort for something that meant nothing to me which means it must mean everything to someone else. REcently someone mentioned the idea of going to the Olympics. I fall in love, but I never fall out I just develop more of a sense of what I really want. Self inflicted torture was so 15 minutes ago along with my Nickelback fame.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

We Don't Need No Stinking Titles

Getting to the point where you no longer care and you can laugh at all the craziness. I am here to laugh and giggle insanely and dance at the oddest places in the oddest moments. To make this world just a little more surreal. Things that we once loved we no longer care for and things that we hated we come to love. You can simply define life with poetic sentences. They hint at things and that is all words can do is to hint at the experience. The time comes when you decide you want to experience things for yourself and know it for yourself, but sometimes you are not capable of having that experience usually because you are too distracted by about a hundred other things. I am sitting here with my buddies and we discussed sometimes you feel that you just don't want to deal with the world and if you could convince your mother to let your crawl back in her womb you would go for it. I have said this before, but I think it bears repeating "I spent 9 months trying to make my way into this world out of my mother's womb and the last 28 years trying to get back into another woman's womb and only one part seems to get in and then white stuff comes out and I temporarily lose my motivation. It always seems to come back to this need to make it back from where I started.

Besides after your done thinking about all of these things you never know when you my get evicted, lose your job, and get all you shit stolen while managing to lose your wallet, cell phone and keys. It is one of those days that you wish Frodo would show up and help with some quest involving a ring. I don't feel like being too orderly in this moment. I want to send my regards to broadway the lower east side and anyone living in Chicago. Ah the windy city. All of you people in foreign countries that read my blog I wonder how the hell you found me and if anything I say really amuses you or helps you with your day to day activities. Does anyone out there want to quit their job and get a veggie oil bus and bring back a revolution but that word almost seems cliche at this point along with the word evolution.

David Bowie loves me and he loves you. I am currently Fasting in case you care to know why this blog is written in such a way.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Finding your Peace

There is no one way to find the peace that exists inside of us. It is something that is also found in nature out at a quiet lake or in the ocean. It is something that is honest and lets us know if we are where we want to be. All of us are explorers, but some of us choose to go inwardly more frequently and those people have a certain calm that resonates in every environment that they step foot into. Finding your peace helps to hone your instincts and take you to deeper levels of understanding that contribute to your understanding of life. Breaking attachments is a very liberating thing, but can also be somewhat nerve wrecking for your mind. All of us can be free if we allow it to take place. It is our most natural state, but we ave to deprogram to return to our most natural state. Natural people are considered to be a bit of an oddity in today's society. We are reaching new heights inside of ourselves and your spiritual progress helps everyone else with their progress. I believe that we all form one collective organism or consciousness and that in an improvement by any one part makes it easier for the whole organism to expand. All of us expand in this very moment if we are open to that expansion and that growth.

I can feel myself still resist to some extent and recoil at amazing opportunities and run towards situations that cause me some degree of suffering. The more stable our inner peace becomes the better the choices we make throughout the day.Breathe deep breathe deep again and until you feel a level of calm and htne keep going. Feel your stomach expand and oontract feel your mind release your fears and inhibitions. Breathe deep and keep letting it become deeper. Life is all about timing, but we have trust that timing and believe in the process otherwise we won't take all the steps necessar to achieve a successful outcome.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Fighting Off The Ropes

Just when you think that you have fully pulled yourself out of it there is that thing nipping at your heel that wants to pull you back into your suffering. This is when you have to fight almost like your shadow boxing those inivisible problems that have plagued you. You have made it this far you can't quit. This is when you see what you are truly made of and go beyond your mind and body to that source that is greater then all of the suffering you have ever known. Anything could have triggererd this stumbling in your life and you might be saddened by it, but you can not and absolutely will not let it keep you down. You won't stay down even if the whole entire world thinks your crazy for getting back up. Maybe you should have done certain things differently, but you can rectify all your mistakes in this moment and steer yourself back on track with a will that can raise the dead. Everyone thought that you could be counted out especially those little doubts in your head, but you overcame all of it so that you found a strength. There is no reason to pretend the need to lean on others when you are strong. We are going back to the source and we will fight our way off the ropes and bring ourselves back to our own center. We always know what we should be doing we must merely have the courage to follow it and not back down. Be brave and don't be deterred by obstacles if anything be inspired so that you can find that reserve of strength that will guide you thru lifes more challenging moments and you will be able to help others do the same all because you refused to quit and kept going when giving up seemed easier. But giving up hurts more then to keep going.

This life is going a whole bunch of extra rounds and each one will be a cosmic movement that we are fated to align ourselves with. No longer am I over anxious and by fate I have found my destiny which is to merge with me true self and no longer feel any sense of separation. The one typing this and reading this are one and the same in a way that transcends 6 or 4 degrees of separation there are actually no degrees. Your victory is everyone's victory.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Time is a trap that mind always falls into and keeps us limited in the way that we percieve a situation. There is a story to be uncovered and a prophecy to be fulfilled and a dance to been seen that will bring back an energy that never went away, but that was neglected by man's distracted mind. The can give me money/fame/blame and shame but it is all one in the same. They are all interchangeable. I am not here to attack or bad mouth specific individuals. I have certainly done this before, but it does not get us closer towards coming together. Viewing ourselves as separate perpatuates the illusion. People that make "evil" choices make their choices out of fear and are not coming from a place of love. I would say that hate is merely a response to fear and as we let go of fear we are capable of giving more love and being present in this moment.

This year at Burning Man I saw a triple rainbow. It was an omen of sorts for the year ahead. Most people only saw two of the rainbows, but if you payed close attention you would have seen the third one. Tons of people dancing around in the desert as the sky cleared and rainbows appeared. Allow yourself to deepen your breathe and your magnetic pull will become stronger. You will be all that you are hoping to see manifest in this world. I am finding a greater consistency with my deep breathing. It is very easy to get caught up in the world and lose sight of your breathing and the things that matter to your heart. Return to the breathe return to your heart return to the way you were breathing when you were still a baby.

Listen To Your Swami Whoever That Is To You

You have a feeling about something and you don't know hot to put it into words, but you know that there is something pulling you into direction and along the way you'll meet certain people that help you to see the bigger picture. Enligntenment or true inner peace is not something that can be handed to you. It is something that was always your true essence before you even began your life. When someone has a true inner realization you can see it in their eyes and feel it in their presence. Each day I continue to awaken to different apsects of myself and head towards a point where I won't be clinging to the past or attached to the future. Be in the moment and look towards a higher feeling of bliss and that quiet knowing that makes you comfoartable and is not dependent on what someone elses actions. All of us have a path to follow and it is one step at a time and if you miss a step you have to come back and do it again. The same lessons keep coming up until we fully embrace the message that life is sending us at any give moment. Your Swami/guru/God/Universe can channel thru anyone to relay that message to you. It can be a voice from the past in the form of a song. (Below is my praise of one of those voices).

Oh Billie Holiday I love you and the way you speak to me with your pain and yet all the hope that you hold for me on each note. You speak to me from an era's past that is about to return. May it return with a new white house representing the people that you spoke to with your songs. Those that have been kicked around will always remember you and the love you shared through your voice. I will never ignore the stars above me and maybe I have changed but I will always be true to you and to the Americans that I aspire to help. I am not trying to run the country, but give it back to the people who you sang to and I am one of those people. We are never separated by time nor place. Energy can never be limited nor the impact of your voice.
love always,
PResident Te'DeVan

Saturday, December 01, 2007

IT's Not About Me It's about You

One of my best friends Cynthia is always telling me "It's not about you" in regards to almost everything we speak of it is her personal mantra through life and one that I have adopted as well. It is also a driving force behind our presidential campaigh. You the person reading this are part of the infinite cabinet your thoughts, feeelings, and actions is exactly what is directing our campaign. We are here to represent the often maligned and ignored masses of Americans that are left out of the poltical process. We are here to bring about a change but each one of us has to do that in the way that we are most capable. We all contribute to a entire new world in every little action that we take. Just because we stumble does not mean that we should not attempt to find our balance. Each day find ways to explore yourself and be the best that you can while being thankful for all the amazing things that have been made available to you. In this culture we have so many things at our fingertips. I am doing my best to connect with myself in a way that can only be hinted at in words.

Each day I find new ways to express myself and new people that I connect to that help me to better understand myself and the world around me. I do my best to go into the experience without being judgmental or feeling superior or inferior. I am here to be a witness and to tbe peace inside of the storm. There will be storms ahead be there will also be magic that makes us wonder what else is possible. I go online and find myself rides all over the country and places to stay and people to show me around. GIve yourself to the journey and the journey will give itself to you. Surrender trying to control all the circumstances and just go with what is available right now. Open yourself up to a complete stranger and trust someone that you just met merely because you get a good feeling about them without knowing anything else.

BEfore we can take a leap of faith it is necessary that we take skips of faith. Look at your fears and then work towards releasing them so that they don't have control over you. Fear binds us and love is what makes us free because love puts us in the moment.

Friday, November 30, 2007

London Bridges Falling Down

I have noticed that Big Ben the Queen and a giant music festival have certainly got me exicted to go to England. I am in Eugene, ORegon and I am listening to NPR. Only if half of all Americans that are so isolated actually listened to this radio station. America's biggest problem is how people are so isolated from one another and can't be bothered to know anything that doesn't effect their pay check, Sports team, Sex life, or their vice of choice. We are over medicated because we are under educated. People that dictate our policy do not have personal motive in improving our public schools. They send their kids to private school and mention the importance of education and relatively offer very little money in the way of college scholarships relative to the amount of money we have to declare war on other countries and to declare war on drugs. Neither of those wats have been remotely successful.

I am not interested in a political career or in the nonsense in politics. I am interested in people and helping to alleviate their suffering. Most american tax dollars are spent of causing suffering instead of reliving and that will change soon, but we could certainly use foreign assistance. We to get more Americans out of the coutnry and have them travel abroad. We should start having more student exchange programs to expose young people to other ways of life. Americans aren't bad it is just that most of them are in the dark and isolated from themselves and the world at large. That is starting to change. Musical festivals and other events such as Burning Man are making it easier for people to let down their walls and allow new experiences and people into their life. I thank all the British people that have let me into their life.

love always,
President Te'DeVan

Thursday, November 29, 2007

So many toughts and Emotions

How does one purge oneself of all the things that we hold on to so that we can make room for the present moment. I just do my best to remember that all I have is now. This moment as I press my finger to the keys and put words on to a blog instead of a paper and people from many different places will read and hear my thoughts. I hope to make these thoughts that will inspire and encourage them on their journey. I hope they remember that they are not alone. Being alone is a strong fear that people have and people always ask me if I am lonely. Yes certainly at times I am lonely, but I would feel this way even if I were always surrounded by people that I knew. I keep thinking about how this entire world is a stage. I can even break down moments in my head and I hear the director say "enter stage right" "step to the background". God is truly an amazing director with the best intent to get all of his actors and actresses involved in the drama and a few become directors themselves. No longer pawns of fate but kings and queens of the chess board. Yet once the pawn makes it to the other side without being taken over by the Maya it can be any piece on the board perhaps even a knight or bishop.

I am still amazed that people read my blog that people that I have never met are curious about my expriences in this world. It has dawned on me recently that there is no thing I can receive or obtain from this world that will give mw what I truly desire. I want to allow myself to be the essence of love and to let it move freely with no attachments.

I remember Way Back When

I remember nights in LBI during my summers before school. I remember living in 720 Arch street and then moving across the street. I remember how leaving Ann Arbor was one of the toughest things I ever did. I remember coming to NYC and I didn't know anyone or at least I dodn't know how to find anyone that I knew. I remember how my earliest signs were much smaller and made from cardboard. I remember when it seemed to many people that I was a student at SVA in New York. I remember that feeling of getting off the plane for the first time when I got to Key West knowing that this place would change my life. I remember driving by the world trade center the night before it went down wondering what would happen if it fell down. I remember a few days later when I did my first healing on a friend of mine in her car outside of my parents house.

I remember listening to Jimmy Buffet play the song "There are places I remember". I remember so many random beautiful faces that I have crossed paths with no matter how briefly and how important these people have and will always be in my life. I remember getting picked on in elementary school and being a huge fan of Guns and Roses and Skid ROw. I remember running into the lead singer of Skid Row years later on my way to meet up with a girl named Brittany who became my first girlfriend that I dated on and off again for a solid year.

There are so many amazing people that I have come into my life and are still coming into my life and I am thankful for them all.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A New Depression Means A New Rebirth

I have recently how many people must have been unemployed during the 1930's into the early 40's before the start of public works projects by Roosevelt. People wanted to be rich as Rockefeller and now they want to be as rich as Buffet or Gates not that the Rockefeller is poor by any means. It was a time period where alot of people were in the same people and I doubt too many people yelled "hey Buddy get a job!". There were probably not too many jobs to be found. I wonder what it would be like if the country entered back into that state and we were all forced to rely on each other to get through it together. The idea that everyone is individual is something that is big in this country yet many of these individuals do the same thing except they do in the privacy of their own home without interacting with other people for fear of judgment. There is a reason the explosion in pornography and the internet are so closely connected. Most people are not anything like the demeanor they portray to the world around them. The least suspecting people have some of the most devious thoughts. I have certainly met a few interesting pastor's daughters that were more then a handful.

We are all realizing things the same time and to put it simply we all need and want love, yet we focus on energy on acquiring material things that bring a momentary glimpse of something that we won't be thinking before we leave this world behind. All of us will leave this world, but may we all begin to wonder and seek the source of all the creations that we seek. Call it whatever you want, but most people have a curiosity about these things especially when they have lots of free time.

Monday, November 26, 2007

When They Ask Me How IT HAPpened

I will tell them I never understood why it couldn't happen. That I new that most people did not want to live the way they were living and they were tired of living in fear and that wanted their walls to come down because it was too much to bear alone. I find myself in strange magical places that even people tripping on acid can't truly experience. I will tell them I was guided to the most amazing people in every different genre and that I got them together and it just took off from there. I didn't really have to do anything other then just introduce one stranger to another stranger so that they no longer seem divided by anything. Now the separation ends and the merging begins.

Couch up a lung and let it all be done like a red scarecrow that can't seem to scare anything but was always good when Dorothy felt like going to a Rave. There was a formula but that was lost when you and I went dirty dancing on another plane of existence. I was always crazy about you, but then again I am just plain crazy because I insist I being immersed and present as a witness to my life. I have rubies coming out of my ears and cocaine in my blood from a previous life. Though in this one I won't even touch coffee. We danced to Billie Holiday and I told you that one war only sets up the next one with small gaps in between. We masturbate until we became asexual but still the lust wouldn't slip away. You were tragic with too much diet pills and cough syrup. Your mom had a bad addiction to your father who couldn't get off that H train. No more pain you and I got lost in the Rain. Your brother's HIV was pain you could no longer bare and we both realized that true love is way too rare. We both promised to love each other even if we never saw each other again.

You were my next of kin when kind seemed like a word that was outdated but nothing about u was ever understated... There you were with blue eyeliner before it became a craze. There you were in a maze of pretensions that I got you to drop every time we made a penatration beyond platitudes and I always loved your attitude on all things watching you naked in the swings.

Musings of My Heart

make love to the heart before I make love to the body. Every girl that I gravitate towards is a signpost in my journey to teach me something about my heart and I would rather touch your heart and never touch your body and both of us would be better off. I am always off somewhere but I just want to be in the depths of all that I still run from. For all intensive purposes I have been running from myself in all the different reflections that it comes in. Just so you know I love you and I don't want anything from it other then the great feeling I have in this moment. Learning to love and not want is what life is all about.

So I bet I knew you in Egypt and then again in Zaire and then once again in a few places that we don't have names for these days. Let this time roll over me and I will still remain pure kissing air and sky that makes me die every moment I feel the love that wipes away all about me that is not true. thank you for being you and helping to wash away things about me that are a facade; trying to prove something that will never make me happy. To what ends do we get what we want? WHy do we want it?

Buried deep behind your eyes,

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Now in Eugene Oregon

I have come here to stir the pot and pit stops along the way to encourage other people to do the same. I am connecting to that source that goes beyond words and deep into the silence that people seem to avoid at almost any cost. The silence seems to make the noise even louder by comparison. Sometimes I can't seem to find the inspiration to write and then all of a sudden I hear some music and the chords tell me what to say. Currently I am listening to Tribe Called Quest. I am forming a tribe and we are certainly on a quest so I find the group name to be quite fitting to my own life. I am learning how to deepen my understanding that all of this will eventually pass and something else will be in its place. Life is constant change and deny that change is to be foolish and certain to cause great suffering. I want to less other people's suffering and continue to use my gift in all the different ways it manifests.

Life can be amazingly challenging and so effortless at other times that it leaves us scratching our heads how it went from one extreme to the other so rapidly. I am in Eugen right now during thanksgiving break and it is very quiet and in another couple months I will be on the raod to somewhere,nowhere, anywhere and with all sorts of beautiful chaos. The minds insistence on order despite the suffering of our truest nature causes a great many problems. Events such as Burning Man exist because society is not meeting the needs of its people. We are trying to function in a society that is not functional in the sense that very rarely are its member every happy nor do they feel good enough. Low self esteem is a driving force behind rampant consumerism not consumerism itself, but rampant consumerism. Shopping is an addiction that makes us slaves to debt and therefore to jobs that most people don't find satisfying. If you are satisfied with your work then consider yourself highly blessed. Typing away on this blog and sharing my thoughts and emotions is my work and I absolutely love it. Keeps me motivated to keep pushing forward.

By the way enjoy your holiday season in whatever that brings you a feeling of true joy and peace!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

New Video

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Prince Is Coming Back

He never went to away but I want to declare my undying love for Prince regardless of his new religious beliefs and any door to door converting he may be doing. I admit that if I had a door and he knocked on it I might have to convert. Luckily I am a nomad and I hear he mostly goes door to door in Minnesota. Prince aaid "Let's GO Crazy" and I am certainly feeling the sentiment these days. Can't keep running away from a destiny that overtakes me moment to moment and I encourage others to do the same and that in the end everything will be alright is more then just a popular song. It is the truth in the end there is merely another beginning and we have an opportunity to hit the world with our best shot. I am looking in the man in the mirror and I hear the 80's is coming back which has been happening for 5 years, but it becomes more prolific now more then ever.

Can't please everybody but I can certainly give everyone an opportunity to be free and dreams are sent away to a place where they seem to be forgotten. I am here to be fully present in all my actions and start and stop different trends that have been a long time building. I don't have any claim rather I recognize there is something that guides me from different places and I know when I am in balance with it and when I resisting it. Put yourself out there and carry yourself with all that hidden courage.

The lie to us about war and the reasons why we are there. We are entering into a new place of understanding. Politics is about people and the people are being neglected and we don't question authority and the legitimate is criminal and they get treated the way we should treat our youth.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

No Use Crying Over a wasted 1.6 trillion

For those of you who don't we spent that much in Iraq and Afaghanstain and we can't get it back and we can bring back the lives lost but we can steer in the country in a new direction. WE need to porvide clean water, food, and medicine all over the world so that we cab begin to show people that the American people and the government different quite a bit. One of the things I want to do is lowering the voting age and people say teenagers are not responisble enough and I say that most awful events in histroy are perpetrated by adults not teenagers. 1.6 trillionis a fine example.

Our cmapaign though not highly funded yet will be the first campaign to speak for the silent 200 hundred million majoiryt which will have its voice herad. We also watn to enlist the help of the international community to keep us informed about our governments actions abroad. A goverment that does not reperesent its people must be doen away with once the people wake up to this fact, The government is here to serve us and instead we serve them at tremdnous cost to our personal lives and humanity at large.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Let's Go For Broke

I want this evasive thing and I am going to lay myself out for it and no that eventually we all leave this place one way or another. Sometimes I need to get crazy like prince and then pray like Jesus. Hey any jew that gets a religion made after him must have been on to something. Hey Jesus save me from your followers when you get a chance. I don't want a lifesaver because I never saved anything for the swim baack that is how did all of this when I was written off in that way we have been taught to dismiss most people. We almost always have multiple reassons for doing things and in that regard I am not different then anyone else. All of us have some much more heart and strength then we let ourselves realize and we have combination of light and darkness and we get confused, but just keep pushing thru because I am going to let everything go and then nothing will hold me down because I won't be holding on to anything. Pigment is a figment that most minds seem attached to so let the blind man lead us because he won't judge on appearances.

I am here and you are there and somewhere in between exists a destiny that all of us share in one way or another. Don't pretend and I'll do my best not to keep trying to be something that would never make me happy anyway. There is nothing to wait for because tomorrow does not hold an answer for me and yesterday is gone so let us fly high and find a deep pentrating love that helps me to get over myself until there is no self. I can't be so caught in my head and all of us are the creators of our own destiny. Our revolution happens once we decide that it comes.

You got me thinking thoughts Chicago even though Portland has me in her port and I don't think I am leaving too soon, but my energy can go anywhere. I was in the South and back in the midwest at college and walking around in New York and sleeping in Brooklyn and it all happens so fast and then I am hopping in car and getting on an airplane plannning political strategy and I am looking for a girl who is a ride or die chick that keeps me on path and pushes me to my limits, but when I am ready it will come. When I am ready it will come so for now my feet curb and I let the roots sink in deep.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Sunflowers Bricks and 50 foot Smurfs

I am dreaming of that feeling when you find that sensation that makes you feel that everything is fine because you have that feeling. Usually this feeling is triggered by people that we meet or more specifically from a significant other that stirs up all those emotions that had been buried underneath the surface. I am keeping myself open to that experience and I keep getting amazing glimpses of that feeling, but as of yet I am still looking for that partner on my journey. I have been reading so much about near death experiences and the life stories of numerous healers and mediums and everything that they had to go thru and though I have had my trials and tribulations it has been so moderate to what people like John of God had to endure. I want to get to a point that I am just now up or down depending on my external environment. I just am learning to let myself just drift and be at peace with that and have no particular place to go other then what I feel in any given moment.

I love Sunflowars and I love how they are beautiful, but somehow always out of place. A friend of mine in college told me that I was a sunflower for that very reason. It seems like going to college and being named Jeremy Scott Kurzweil and being on Ricki lake and other things is merely something that happened to someone else in a different world. Yet factually I know they are experiences that I had but they become something else as time moves. I think of my time spent in Charleston and my desire to go back to certain places and touch a moment in time that I can get to on the physical realm and if I can I still don't know how to do it. I read about a rock climber who was convinced that he could fly and I thought it was beautiful the others might view him as man out of touch with delusions. People that are out of touch seem to be the most in touch people and the other people merely seem to know the trends of Khakis vs. jeans or loafers vs. sneakers. In the end we all end up leaving this planet and we act as if that day will never come. I want to have my life in order before that moment transpires and totally in love with this exact moment as my fingers touch the keyboard in hopes of touching each one of you in some way and you'll go out and do the same.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Revive A dead Fish

13 year old girl gets 2 detention for showing public displays of affection and someone in some branch of the military gets a medal of honor even if there were numerous civilian deaths. We have give Henry Kissenger of Death a nobel peace prize and we pay people lots of money to hit and throw balls and we pay teachers next to nothing to take care of our most precious resource. How do we lose sight it is one choice after another that gets you into a bad situation. I want to bring back hugs if JT can bring sexy back and his dick in box why can't a teenager girl hug her friends. And we wonder why kids feel the need to get high. The people in charge of them are out of their fucking minds. Most of our nation is on some form of narcotic and why haven't we gotten Bin Laden how fucking hard can it be with a 400 billion dollar budget. If this was my 3rd grade lemonade stand heads would be rolling. The people in charge are either really corrupt or really incompetent. How do we fall so far from grace. I know distractions are the opiate of the masses. Keep them busy is the American government strategy that has allowed them to murder millions in the name of higher profits. It really does come down to better economic interests. We would have intervened in Darfur long before Iraq if there was more oil and a threat to Saudi Arabia was posed.

I don't want to be political because it always comes back to one person feeling threatened and encouraging others to feel the same way. I don't want to encourage any more outrage I want to bring about a new way of living and thinking. We can Mindflank this entire government by dropping of their grid and massive civil disobedience. They are grabbing the reins more tightly because the facade is fading faster then walls of your sand castle during High tide. You are Ghandi You are Jesus You are Buddha and we need you to wake up Now!

For those unfamiliar with My existence

Most people when they travel they stay at a hotel/family/friends/people they are dating/some sort of ex. Though I certainly do stay with friends while traveling (no exs they don't speak to me usually) I also end up staying with complete strangers who I meet when I arrive or I meet them online thru When I first started my journey I would meet people at a bar and end up sleeping on their couch/floor/spare bedroom/garage/backyard/car/van or in the bed with them. I also would meet people at the park on the street and all sorts of odd places and end up spending the night. I absolutely love the adventure and being thrust into so many different lives. Sometimes I would wake up and forget where I was and what city I was in and I was completely sober. I travel so much sometimes I just sort of lose track, but I never lose track of the amazing adventures I've had. Staying in a hotel/motel has never been my style though I do love to stay at an occassional hostel. I find myself previously a mere stanger in the midst of all sorts of amazing intriguing situations acting as an observer who offers my assistance if I see there is need/want and a willingness to receive my help. I basically end up helping people with all sorts of things from getting over a break-up to getting off drugs to being more organized or helping to encourage them to follow their own intution. Think a much more humorous and radical Tony Robbins with dreads and a gift for chi-gong/spiritual healing, freestyle rapping, and general story telling.

I do my best to help make people's lives better and they do the same in return for me. I am there to add a little spice into their life or bring some calm during the storm. I have stayed with married couples on the verge of a divorce, squabbling roommates, yogi instructors, people who tracked me down on the internet, people who recognize me from blinddate, people who I had met me in passing in another state altogether. All of us are looking to connect to other people and more to ourself. My major role in life is to help move along that process. I find that being a modern day nomad is the best way to go about it. The way I get around is thru cragislist, cheap plane tickets around $150 or less that get me from one side of the country to another, an uncanny ability to meet people heading my way, hitchhiking (once I hitchhiked a plane ride from mIggs airfield) and in my early days fake Greyhound tickets. All of this is part of being a modern day nomad. I love to watch barriers come down and to trust and be trusted by total strangers as if we have known each other since we were kids. In fact I stay with supposed strangers more then I stay with my family and feel more comfortable doing so. I feel like Tyler Dirden without all the fighting or a sponsorship deal though I was once used in an STA travel ad in Austrulia wtihout my written consent.

My life is alot like my writing style all over the place but somehow it all connects even if you can't initally see it, but once you give it time you will realize that life is not something to plan it is something to experience. I am a bit of a straight edge beat trying to find a better sense of who I am in my travels and always seeking to step outside of my comfort zone and always make the best of all my situations and giving myself to the journey and being a modern day nomad. Healing/story telling/dancing/and freestyle rapping all over the country.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

WHy I am Running For President OF the United States

I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I don't mind all of the contempt or disdain because I desire to help bring politics back to the masses. I want to make it funny and yes COlbert and Stewart have done an amazing job, but I want to take it further. Ridiculous friends of mine just being plain ridiculous be still making more sense then George Bush and most of these other people. We won't sell you out because we don't have anything to sell. We are here to lend a voice to the downtrodden, disadvantaged, and especially the disenchanted. The task seems to be impossible, but that is why I love it so much. This campaign is exploding in ways that I can't even imagine. I have people coming up to me and expressing what they want to see done. Comic Relief earns alot more money for homelessness in one night then many others will in a year. The reason is because of celebrity power and the enteratainment value. I have celebrities and maybe most of them would be considered to be D- but to me they are all A+. FUck the rest of the main stream media we are using every alterantive media possible. We have music and we will make the people dance. We have art and we will make the people see. But most importantly we have love and we will make the people feel. At least the ones who want to feel. I am having an amazing time in Portland. Much love in the air here and many amazing people to continue to connect with out here. I just added Socak as another one of the Campaign Managers. Check him out on Myspace page.

Thank everyone for being who you are and keep searching for your truth and never let up for a single moment because it will be found. May the inner peace deepen and may the love flow onto everyone around you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Whatever Is Intended For You Will Find You

Recently my mantra has basically been to be aware of when I am resisting the present moment and creating any form of mental tension about the present moment. I am striving to embrace it or do my best to change if that is possibility. I had a documentary producer run me down today to interview about a potential project. My initial instinct as that many wonderful opportunities will transpire as result of this encounter and it will happen in a relatively short period of time. Regardless I am happy with the progress I have been making in learning how to turn off my mind and not allow to run my life. There are so many fears that society and the world around us program into our heads and I am so happy that I have been letting go of these fears.

I have been feeling that my writing has not been as off the wall and some of my earlier posts and I am sure that will eventually make its way back into my writing. Tonight I had an opportunity to do some healing work on an Aids patient. I desire to do more of this type of work along with working on cancer patients. When I was working on him I gravitated towards the right side of his head. That is where he had serious hemmoraging though it was merely where I became aware of the imbalance. We all have such vast untapped into talents and healing is just one of those talents. I believe that we are entering into a new age which may sound very new agey but I know that we are an evolving species just all things in this world are evolving. By the way I still don't accept that the US airforce doesn't know the difference between a weather balloon and alien spacecraft that has crashed (Roswell, New Mexico) even if ti was the 1940's. Though this being true or not true will not change my life in the general course of the days activities.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Not Always Perfect But Push On

The series of screw-ups and mistakes that we can make also give us the opportunity to be amazing if we allow ourselves that opportunity. Things will not always be perfect and I am continuing to allow myself to be at peace with it. I have not perfected, but in many situations some people will not even try because of that. Never can we allow ourselves to be held paralyzed by our own fear that it might not be as good as we want it. We just have to the best we can in every moment. Own your mistakes and then go ahead and do better next time. Your skills will keep on improving as long as you allow yourself not be holding back. Now is the time to let yourself and if you stumble get back up and keep going. It is a long journey and there is always ample time to recover.

I am thinking about a generation that has been more defined by drugs, video games, internet, sex then anything else thus far. I desire and I know many of you feel the same to be a generation that is remembered for helping to change this country. At this moment on the surface it seems unlikely, but underneath the surface there is something transpiring that changes all of that. It is a radical inner transformation. Truth hits and cuts thru and it doesn't have to be eloquent merely truthful and delivered in a way that keeps everyone's head ringing. Let it be something that they can't shake. Let it be a new beginning that starts right now.

let us get a little crazy in fact let it be alot crazy. Let us move forward and balance that with being deeply still so that we find that center where we are at peace with all living sentient beings ( I got that word sentient recently). Free at last but there is not at last we were always free we seem to have a glitch in our inability to perceive this immediate freedom that has always been available.

Close down only to open up more because closing off just hurts too much and the only other option is just to let it all go and not get upset by anything anyone else says.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Let It come on out

All over the place at times like my thoughts we sometimes run wild like Hemingway being chased by bulls. May I find the blue bull and may he help me to find the purple haze of a jimi hendrix that has come back to guard the tower. Give me hip-hop and call it jazz or give me country and call it rock. Let Johnny Cash be Jesus and let no one know the difference. Words can't fully tell you the story. Let lindsay Lohan Brittany spears and Pairs Hilton all become one entity simply known as a symbol like the artist formerly known as prince. We all have our own dramas let us bring the focus into this current moment and change the things that we are not content with and let go of the things that we can't do anything about. Such a simple concept that anyone could grasp this, yet we struggle to take this fully in and struggle to swim to the point of drowning when the water is only 3 feet deep. Still waters run deep and yet our fears seem to run deeper. Recently I asked my mom her views on death and she said "It is something to ignore". She views it as a bad thing and I realized this is merely the perception of a culture that I was raised in.

I want to love everything but find myself scared to always embrace things for what they are and project upon them. I want to laugh and cry and dance and rap like there is nothing else to do, but have this experience. We are all part of this amazing experience but it can only be that way if we open ourselves to it. Anytime I feel myself making a choice out of fear I do my best to stop and make another choice. The leap of faith is challenging but even more challenging is when we are in mid-air and we have yet to make it to other side and we have left behind everything that was familiar. I have spend much of the last 6 years letting go of attachments and still I have many more to release so that I can get to my core essence which is a deep peace. Of course when our mind is racing and we feel intensely anxious this seems like some sort of delusion and if we stay in our head we will continue to doubt that we can touch upon such amazing bliss so easily. May I continue to make my life more simple so that I can help other people to do the same.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I'm going going Going Back to Portland Portland

After seeing John of God I booked a plane ticket to Portland on November 1st. Not sure where I am staying just yet, but if you live in Portland and have room on your couch hit me up. In other news I really do love New York and I am fully enjoying the time that I have left here before I take off. I have been thinking alot about babies as of late I keep seeing them and some of my friends keep having them. Currently I have a warrant out for my arrest. I missed my trial for sitting on a park bench too late at night. Hopefully I settle all of this smoothly tomorrow. I have secured a lawyer who I had healed outside of a bar a few weeks back. I recently landed a full time campaign manager thru my buddy Dan Los. The campaign continues to get more press, and if you can get us anymore it would be splendidly appreciated.

Each day I am granted a look into my past, present and future and there is someone to tell me in case I forgot about places I've been during time period of my life and they learn something about me and I learn something about them that neither of us had previously known. Recently I keep having flash backs of my time in India. They keep coming thru in a very strong way. I learned in England that is very easy to start your own country. I wonder how easy it is to do in the United Stetes.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

North Carolina/Echo Project/Healing/politics

I am currently in Wilmington, North Carolina after having spent sometime in Asheville, North Carolina and I will make sure at some point to take my shirt off and spin it round like a helicopter (long live rapper Petey Pablo). I was at a music fesitval that was a minitaure version of Bonnaroo and I had a truly wonderful time and ran into many people who I had met along the way and listened to quite a great music lineup but one of my favorite surprise performances was a group called Louis XIV who is quite catchy exciting and lyrically amusing to say the least. In Asheville North Carolina within my first 5 minutes walking around someone yelled at "I saw you in Brooklyn!". Long live the BK all day I also ran into some musicians who I had briefly met iin Union Square Park as more amazing dots were connected. Then on our final day we met two young backpacker adventurers named Clay and Mike. I had met Mike very briefly in Union Square and it was great to actually spend some time with him and his buddy Clay. Mike is also a member of and encouraged me to go to Hawaii which will be one of the main places I am thinking of focusing the presidential campaign. I know Hawaii is not quite the swing state that Florida happens to be, but if I can convince the producers I think it will work out well. Besides it is a dam big island with many of the worlds climate zones all contained there. I also Need to get back to my roots back to my sand heritage back to the wandering days. I tryed to settle down recently as some of you may or may not and it was to no avail. Literally a tornadoe and then a flood came which did not quite wash everything away but lead to sewage seeping up into the apartment. SO back to couchsurfing and the road of life where I always the passengers until I can meet someone with same contact prescription that I happen to have minus 4 in case you wondering, but I am very content walking around with "impaired" vision.

I have been thinking alot about not accepting the things I don't want because they I will not be able to make room for the things that I truly desire. My musician friend from Phllly (who also grew up in Jersey) actually was found by Mike and Clay and we gave them a ride to Wilmington which is where I am as I am typing this. I have court tommorrow for sitting in union square park too late at night I pleaded not guilty to this as I sang Jay Z lyrics about "not guilty you all got to feel me...". Even if they convict me on this ticket I my try to appeal this travesty of justice. I got the ticket because they are keeping me safe by keeping me out of the bench area of union square park at night. Obviously they don't know my love for Union Square Park. All of us are part of the same amazing journey to discovering that life is truly mysterious and I am embracing the mystery of life and not trying to pretend that I know anything about merely give tips that have helped me on the journey.

Crazy amounts of stillness and motion because a balance is needed between the both. Balance is needed between all things and sweating the small stuff just turns into big stuff and stuff merely holds you back from realizing what we are capable of doing on this planet. We are the infiinite cabinet and this is our country and it is about time we had the final say. Say HEY HEY HEY. DOn't you forget about me meaning the 200 million plus people who did not vote. That is who I am courting for votes so don't worry about me stealing away votes on election day. I am only going after the silent majority.

President Te'DeVan

Monday, October 08, 2007

Te'DeVan Smiley and the Infinite Cabinet for 2008

The election is already shaping up to be a total sham. We need to step it up another gear. I just got a video camera sent to me which will be used for very experimental presidential videos. Don't worry if no one takes them serious. When nobody takes you serious nobody will ever ended up taking you less serious. All of you people who read this you are the hope that certain issues will be brought to the forefront. The war drugs is the being hustle since I told my parents that I cleaned my room. Also we have stop putting millions of people in jail who do not pose a threat to other people's well being. We need to allow ourselves not to repeat the mantra that education is important and piss it away on war on drugs and war in Iraq. We always have more money to kill people that I don't know but not to educate our own children.

But we have to realize that Americans will only care about serious issues if you make them entertaining. They already have enough worries. We need to turn this into the best dam reality show in the world. This being said I am looking for a producer with organization skills who is ready to get on a veggie oil bus and shake things up. There needs to be a whole lot shaking going on.

In current news I am in NYC and will be heading towards Atlanta on Wednesday for another large music festival. Music makes the people come together. We need to come together right now. The writing is on the wall. We're not going to take it no we're not going to take it. We're not going to take it anymore. To the American people I love you and I believe that organic apple pie is wonderful. Dance, sing, strike a pose, and let's get crazy. But this campaign is never going to survive unless we are a little crazy.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I Had Invisible Surgery From John of God

I am sure some of you have no idea what this means. I am not going to pretend to tell you that I know what this means either accept that for 40 days I am not supposed to have spicy food, no drinking, or any sort of sexual arousal. Also for one week I must be in bed by 12 to 5 with my eyes closed so that the entities can do work on me while I sleep. I ended up with a ticket to see John of God in upstate NY last minute because a friend of mine named Peter had one of his friend cancel. Oddly enough just before I got the news a friend of mine named Suz texted me that something good was coming my way soon. Soon turned out to be 3 hours later as I got a phone call from Peter to meet at 5:15 A.M. the next day at his apartment.Once there Peter discovered he was already wearing the bracelet that they were handing out (a yellow livestrong braclet, even though each day was a different braclet, but Peter had the right one for this day) I ended up running into a woman who I had met at Burning man, I guy I had met at Sai Ma, and a man who I had met in Brazil, along with a guy who I had done a healing on in Union square park (who came up to me as soon as I got out of the car) and a few other small world connections. It is things like this that really tell you that you are on your path.

When I got up to John of God he ended up taking my hand. This never happened to me the 5 weeks that I had been in Brazil. He took my hand quite gently and told me something in his native tongue which was translated as deep spiritual cleansing. This was something that I had already been told that I need by a psychic in Brooklyn. A large part of this was due to the large amount of healing work that I had been doing this summer. Though physically I felt really well. After this I was told that I was having invisible surgery at 2Pm later in the day and they put me in one of the rooms and I as I sat I felt rather relieved and emotional. I then slept for a while grabbed lunch and then sat briefly later on and then slept some more. The experience was amazing and I felt very open and emotional upon my return to the city. I slept for quite sometime that night and have been continuing to feel a strong presence around me since I left. I am extremely blessed to have been lead back to John of God. After I got back I went on line and booked a plane ticket to Portland for November 1st for $119.80. 119 has been a significant number sequence to me for quite sometime and it was also my flight number to India and to me the 8 represents the way I shake hands and how everything goes back to where it started. My 40 days will end right around November 14th which is when I had arrived back from Brazil in 2005.

It is early in the morning as I type this from one of my best friends apartment in Brooklyn not able to sleep, but feeling very good to be awake. Life is truly amazing and things will seemingly come out of nowhere such as this John of God experience, but we by being open allow these amazing things to come into our lives. I allowed this to come into my life and for that I am eternally grateful.I am also eternally grateful for all the wonderful people that I have allowed to come into my life over the years by remembering to slow down and that life is not a race rather an experience to be had.

Monday, October 01, 2007

I could Pop Up Anywhere

In my life I truly could end up anywhere at any moment. I do enjoy the spontaneous aspect of my life greatly, but it makes making plans in advance dam near impossible. I went briefly to upstate NYC to experience the energy of the healer from Brazil known as John of God. It was the Omega institute I was not a registered guest and was asked to leave, but not before I expereinced a deep state of stillness and a feeling that I had come to have my healing and greater awakening. Leading up to it I had quite a few emotional buttons that were pressed. I have been following the flow and allowing myself to feel that all things come to pass. I have been to so many places in this amazing a country and I want to find an amazing place and bring together many like minded people. Many places float thru my head as possible places. I believe that we are all perfect and we just need to stop and see our perfection and not focus so much on our flaws. I have given love and received and confused lust for love and unhealthy for healthy and the other way around. I am trying to find a deeper center. Trying to not try so hard, but not to allow myself to fall into certain patterns that don't offer me a chance to grow. We are all on our own epic jounreys which just have to be willing to take the first step. And we will know when it is time to take that step. In the meantime we merely need to enjoy where we are in this moment and not think that another place or situation is going to fix our problems.

I have also learned that people betray you, but don't view their actions as betrayal and all you can do is let it go or let bog you down. You just have to keep moving forward otherwise you are living in the past. I want to live in the present and experience the bliss that is always available. Recently I have been feeling a desire to express myself, but not sure what to say. Tai-chi, chi-gong, yoga, etc.. these are just some ways toward a quiet mind and open heart. I want to be brave though my mind sometimes trys to get in the way. I can not heal anybody I can only hold the space for people to let go of their pain when they are ready. We can be vessels for healings all of us can be its just some of us allow ourselves to be that vessel. There are many different ways to heal and the most powerful one is to be present.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Finding Those Emotions

Often I find that what I want is to cry what I want is to feel and see things that I have been hiding from myself. I find that often I cry other people's tears as part of their healing. I have been desiring to have a female partner these days. It has been a strong feeling stronger then it has been at any point in my life, but I know that I just have to release the attachment to it and just let it happen. I find there have been many almost situations. I want to have that relationship that helps to awaken feelings in me that have been dormant. I don't need a relationship for those feelings to be awakened. I need to focus more on having a relationship with the life force that is present everywhere. I love deeply and I lose track of the days and my passion for trees is epic. All of us are chasing after things that we already have and the mind convinces us that we don't have it yet. I am striving on a spiritual path to a point of having a peace that can not be shaken. I have not reached that point. People from past are always returning and ones from my present disappear in a visual sense. I merely introduce them and play the small role of matchmaker. I am still somewhat in awe of how close I am getting and part of me wants to say I am close enough to God and I'll just leave it at that, but that is not an option. I have to finish what I started. I have to remove the veil and see beyond this world into another.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

New York Magazine Makes You Legit

Maybe you know the song your nobody til somebody loves you. Obviously your nobody until New York Magazine has a big picture of you in their spread. People want to know that some magazine has written about you and then you are obviously legit. I'll take the free press and allow it to open more doors for me. It is just the beginning. We have people working on Te"DeVan and Smiley for 2008 around the clock and around the world. All the pieces are in place and we are making a brave charge uphill. No we don't think we will get elected. Getting elected is for chumps. We want to make some changes we want the Bill of Rights to mean something. And if New York Magazine can help me in that quest so be it. The candidate to watch in this election is the American people. And I have met quite a few American people and they are ready to make some changes. Lets be the change lets be the change. It all started in LBI when my soon to be Vice PResident said "Hey you want to start a revolution?" My response was "Hell to the Yeah". It was a protest about the unfair cop treatment towards young people. This continues to this day and I want to lower the voting age to 16. LEts get young people involved early on so that it becomes a habit for them. Ideally I want 12 year olds to vote but that will take some time, but now lets recognize young people as voting citizens. We are the ones fucking it up for them they should have a say in the direction of this country. They live here and pay taxes. No taxation without representation for the youth and prisoners of this nation.

The candidate who can't win but you can't stop watching. We will be on your televison set this campaign season. Roll Tide Roll

Lets Shake it Up Starting Now

Let the dance to the Whitehouse start to heat up. We are ready to take back the whitehouse and take back our government and make it one that serves the people. How about instead of killing and bombing people in the middle east we offer billions of dollars in scholarships so that more young people can go to school without racking up debt. Everyone claims education is important but they are lying thru their teeth. Winning the election is important and most voters are scared of the boogie man. Convince them that you will protect them from the boogie man and you will have their vote. Of course our foreign policy over the last hundred years has created man boogie men. Bombing people does not make you friends I learned at least this much in elementary school. We are also putting much of our country behind bars because it makes certain people alot of money. 2.1 million our in prison where they hell are they being hidden. Most of them are not a threat to society. The prison population has gotten up 700% in less then 30 years. Not surprisingly privitizing of prison has increased greatly. The war on drugs is a farce and it hurting our society. Why don't we start arresting people for having eating disorders I am sure that would help the problem immensely. The war on drugs is a drain on our economy and resources. Lets end it now and put the money towards education, children, and cleaning up our environment. I am not politician I am just someone who sees a need and knows alot of people and I am ready to help make these changes happen.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

My Healing guru comes to Me

John of God the healer I went to go see in Brazil 2 years ago is coming to upstate New York. I will be seeing him soon and realizing a greater level of stillness in my mind and an ability to help more people by fining a deeper peace inside of my core. The same core that everyone has if we will just make our mind quiet. Yeah the past roars its head only when we have not fully embraced it and then after we embrace the past we must release it and find ourself here in the present and find that we must be the change that we want in the world instead of getting down on other people for the drawbacks. People will let you down, but God never will. Merely be patient and trust. This sounds insane, but it is much more productive then stressing out about things you can't control. I am waking up more in each moment. Last night I walked away from a beautiful woman because I was more compelled to walk around and heal. I invited her to join me, but she wanted to sleep with me. But she also wanted me to give her answer that I only she can find. I hope that she finds it and she helped me to realize what I truly care about and what I am truly here to do. Every might I have all sorts of people come up to me, but there are a special few that are really ready to let go in a way that changes the way that they will look at life. Those are the moments that I live for. Those are the moments that they show in movies. Your life is a movie and if you can realize that very simple fact if you don't remain so attached to things. Break your routines and follow what you feel where the energy or inner voice is guiding you. We are all being guided we just have to listen and act on what we feel in our highest nature.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Bleeding On myself and my health

Inside of exists the cure, but we look away for another way. Bleeding out the cure for the disease like some sort of x-man similar to wolverine. Maybe I can donate my body to science. I am altering my molecular structure thru the stillness of my mind. I am a lover of this life and finding a strength in realizing the power of my breath to manifest a world that has deeper and more profound peace the knocks the statues of rampant consumers back into the present moment. We belong to the oceans, lakes, forests, deserts, and mountains. We are one with our surrounding and for some reason we are trying to conquer. But we must dig ourselves out from the mind clutter so that we are no longer merely machines. Sense the imbalance and then we can correct in ourselves and the mind gap grows larger and we begin to march forward. We are moving thru the water with such grace and we are all part of the same face.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I can feel my body shaking

I've noticed that from time to time as I start shifting from one energy into another that my body starts to shake and I get this amazing tingling sensation thru my entire body and I will basically fall over. It does not last very long but it feels amazing and it feels like I am waking up and shifting to a higher vibration. Life is an amazing voyage and at certain points we need to step forward even though we don't know if there will be anything there to catch us. We can't stand still and keep everything the same. I all things were created and all things fall apart. They are merely things and they serve a purpose and then they are no longer needed. I want to thank anyone who at any point has helped me on this journey. I am continuing to let go of my routines and trust my intution under any cirumstances. The pulse and direction of life can change quickly almost without warning, but if the mind is very still we can always be aware of something coming around the corner. I have not quite realized that level of stillness, but the more still my mind becomes the more I become aware of the way that we are all connected and how every little action that we take has some significance in this story. We never know who will be moved to the front of the stage in our lives. Love is not merely a word that desire to utter from my lips, but something that I desire to know internally. Everyne has something to make me aware of and I just need to be quiet and pay attention.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Give me A Fairy Tale

There was a boy and he was a believer and they taunted and mocked the believer though secretly they wished they could be that naive. But was the boy really that naive or were they merely basing the idea of truth on all the pain that they had experienced in the world. They let go of hope and settled into conformity and they loved him and hated this boy because he couldn't seem to conform. Even when he did certain things that were expected of him he still always fell short of giving them that comfort they felt around most people who never questioned what was going on around them. He was born to question and this boy stayed a boy and when other people got older he seemed to stay the same age. Time was passing everyone else by, but he stayed timeless because he found his way out of time. Then the system that everyone else had come to count on fell apart and they turned to this boy and he was nowhere to be found, but all of the people he helped to wake up lead the way towards a new world that was more in balance. People remembered to breath deep once again and with that breath all was transformed. That boy/girl exists inside all of us we must merely let him out to play.

They Never Saw It Coming But You Always Knew

It here comes straight down the plate the pitch you've been waiting the one that you can hit out of the park. The one that you have prepared for you entire life. So we are finding that deep silence in the mind and in that we are finding that we have always been that which we seek. I am here and there is no place that I will ever go to other then the deepest peace in my mind that will ever give me the peace I desire. Most of the happiness I experience though wonderful is so fleeting and I find that there is something that I am starting to realize more and I am going back to the days of NYC and the old south with quite a bit of the west coast and an overseas vibe. I don't want to promise anything other then a willingness to be the one that is not willing to settle for that which is comfortable. You are the truth when you find yourself letting go all that which makes you suffer. As we release our attachment to our desires we will not feel that we have been thwarted and therefore do not become angry if things don't work out the way we had hoped.

Friday, September 07, 2007

TThey Build You Up to Tear You Down

I hear one story about how amazing someone is only to see the press ride them for being on steroids or some sort of growth Hormone. I just don't want to hear it anymore about whose doping and who isn't. We are country that is obcessed with our drugs. We have a new pill for any situation. Having a problem losing weight, staying up late, going to sleep, not happy anymore, addicted to pain killers, etc.... We have a pill for you. Life in America for so many people is about some pill that will make all the problems go away or at least numb them. Why is that I never read an article about road scholar who was cuaght using ritalin or some other speed type drug so that he could study longer. Our sports must be pure, but other then plagrisim the same does not hold true for the academic world. We are society obcessed with winning at any cost. The costs are very high and our winners are some of the biggest losers in the end.

I am in San Francisco and my heart resides here more and more. I really love this place, but I will soon be back in NYC. I will be walking around following my bliss and listening to my intution. I send everyone my fondest wishes wherver you maybe found. I am just a man on a journey realizing that "This too will pass". All things pass and all things eventually end so that a new beginning can be found. We all hae to become our own light so that we can be the same for others. I am lover of the stillness and that stillness is where my anwsers will be found. I will always be judged and praised, but neither is something to base your life around. They are both so fleeting. It is this thing called Love that everyone talks about and most people feel for brief moments. When the light is strong enough the darkness can not exist....

You and I are mirrors for one another and I am here to hold that space. And I will hold that space a space where miracles happen. It wasn't me who did it I just happened to be present when it happened. When it happened they all forgot about all the things that seemed so important and became aware of the only thing that means anything when it is all said and done. Most people around you suffer in ways that you don't want to imagine and to help ease that pain by helping them realize their true self is to be of the greatest service to humanity. Be the change you want to see in the world and get involved. Don't just sit on the sidelines.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Straight Out of Black Rock City

I am back in San Fran and ready to keep moving forward in regards to all the things that I am up to these days. Life is amazing in the way that we are all lead to where we need to be at any given time if we just allow ourselves to trust our intution. I had one of my best burning man expeirecnes and I look forward to my 5th Burning Man next year. I really want many of friends to come to the event next year. It is starting to get biggger on the east coast, but still predominantly a west coast event. They called it the "Green Man" which was quite ironic, but some improvements were made so that the impact would be slightly lessened. But as Burning Man gets bigger people seem to get overwhelmed and not feel as connected to each other the way they had in years past.

I am going to a spiritual retreat at some point in October probably down in Austin, Texas and allow myself to find a deeper and slower breath that brings me more fully into the ever present NOw. This moment is the only moment that you have so allow yourself to experience it fully and don't try to run from it. I met an amazing girl at Burning Man who I will be hanging out with before I leave town. Burning Man allows me to meet so many different people that I know from numerous places. There are always going to be challenges, but all of these things eventually come to pass. I recently read that we are almost never upset for the reasons that we think.

I am dancing with myself walking around as a stranger in strangeland even though it all seems so familiar, but with a different texture to it. We have an ability to impact each other in positive and negative ways, but we have to make those choices. I am making a choice to be free and understand that the mind always wants to remain distracted and I just have to bring my focus back to the present moment. I have made mistakes, but I am blessed to have learned from most of them. But the greatest mistake I can make is allowing myself to forget my time/space/location.

I could become a celebrity over night, but that would solve nothing in regards to my greater spiritual quest. There is a quote about how the only thing worse then not having your dreams come true is having all your dreams come true. This basically is stating that you become aware that once you have achieved all of your goals you will not necessairly be at peace with yourself. I must make peace with myself I must not allow my mind to dictate my life. I want to come from my heart more often and be truthful with myself and others. I want to live the oneness and not merely speak esoterically about oneness.

Many times our greatest accomplishments are the things that the mind so quickly overlooks. So easy to criticize, but much harder to offer sincere compliments. May I be a person that helps people to realize their dreams and even more importantly help them to let go of their suffering.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Don't You Forget About Me...

I love mOlly Ringwald I love the breakfast club I want to do a remake of it or do one using the original actors and have it be about their kids in the same situation 20 years later. I am never ceases to be amazed about how excited people get about my height and how many people talk to me in a given day and say "So does anyone talk to you?" I recently ran into a girl that I had met in Goa India and she was in shock that I was there and even more shocked that I made it back. SHe asked me how I made it back. I should have told her that I am really good swimmer or that the Little Prince taught me how to use the birds to fly. I am leaving for Burning Man and I am planning a midwest tour involving Indiana and Chicago and I will go to see the Dala Llama.

I love Llama's, but not as much as I love camels. I am going to the desert. I love NYC but I feel that getting out of town for 2 weeks is just what the doctor ordered. Hawaii is calling and I am going to put some roots down there in the near future. I miss everyone everywhere and I am sure that I will see a few of you soon at Burning Man.

Monday, August 20, 2007

A funny Society

More and more frequently I find myself viewing western society as an outsider. Recently for any football fans Michael Vick a professional quarterback in the NFL has been facing charges involving dog fighting and though I don't approve of his actions I think it humorous that such a meat eating society loves their dogs and cats but will kill their Cows, pigs, deer, chicken, minks, rabbits, and horses but somehow dog fighting is inhumane, but people still kill animals merely for their fur. Henry Kissinger has still never been charged for war crimes at any point. In fact he still has a great deal of involvement in foreign policy, but Michael Vick is the worse villian of all time. He is being made an example of because we love our pets and hate most other animals. In the west if you are a dog or cat you are very lucky, but if you are anything else such as a cow you should have chose to be born in India.

I have been remembering the feelings of being a stranger in a strange land while I was traveling thru India. I remember how valuable every human interaction seemed and how emoptional my connections instantly became. Some people go to India to continue their escape while others go to open parts of themselves that have been closed off for so long. I am traveler even when I am staying in city for extended period of time. I will always be a nomad and everyone in a greater sense is a nomad of sorts no matter how much they pretend otherwise. All of this world is fleeting and though we understand this we still get caught up in things that mean nothing because we imitate the other people around us. Hey I love you and I am merely telling you because not telling you is much more unacceptable. I don't always allow myself to express love because I would rather play it cool. Playing it cool never made me happy it usually just made me insincere or nervous.

Friday, August 10, 2007

I'll never be anything other then what I am

Pretty simple statement. Elton John's gift is his song and my gift is my healing and it is also quite simple. I have been on a wild roller coaster and part of that is my karma and part of that is my addiction to having the pot stirred and some of it is because I still don't want to let go because I am want to hold onto things that are not true. I want to hold on to things that are comfortable even if they hold me back. Eventually they will not longer serve me and they never served me but I felt that I needed them.

I have a flurry of thoughts going on these days but the biggest is the massive change the world is going thru. I sometimes wonder how the heck reads this blog according to my the ticker you the reader are truly spread all over the world. We all keep evolving, but still we care more about what people think then we actually care about people. I hope to see that change in this lifetime. Our identities are so fragile because they are based on something that never existed. We all need a rebirth someone to come along and challenge everything that we have based our lives on. They do in a way that is both intense and gentle. We all surrender to something beyond what we understand when we are ready to take that leap. Some of us get pushed into that leap. I think someone or everyone helped to push me when I was looking but I was always blind man wandering around with large signs.

Can you read the sign and does it even matter. Can you feel that peace that brings down the walls. Write all over the walls. All over the walls all over the walls. Feel that earthquake in San Fran and know that we will all be okay. The new day is here now can you see it or are you still living in yesterday.
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