Friday, May 22, 2009
I am in NYC and I can feel America and the midwest and the South a the road with all the festival season calling me strongly along with the female saints that come and grace us with their presence. I am not looking for belief or faith I am looking for inner experience. I am not interested so much in speculation and idle chit chat (well a little bit) mostly I am just interested in that inner experience and my glimpses become longer. The only king I desire to know is the one who has conquered all internal conflict. Now we are all pieces of infinite puzzle and we all are finding our way to the right place on the globe but we just have to find that right place inside of ourselves first and foremost. Now is the chance to get right whatever I may have lost sight of. May the blind man start to see once again. Let it rain let it rain and may it wash away all that pain let it rain maybe I shall go to Spain and not just because it rhymes with rain.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Music is such a huge part of my journey either I am listening to it making it up or it is just playing inside of my head and my soul. I head bop to music that I hear in my head and sometimes people even join in with me. There is something about sound that has a way of awakening all the different things that exist deeper in our unconscious and super conscious. I am back in New York City, but as they saying goes I left my heart in LA/Portland the past coming back to me and making me deal with a whole bunch of stuff that I thought I had dropped only to find out more clearly how much I carry it around with me. I feel her everywhere I go these days and yet timing is everything and I just need to be patient and focus on my inner work and want I need to be doing which is being of service to those around me. Healing is feeling yet the world seems to discourage us from feeling unpleasant feelings. Now I find myself in SOHO and this pain is prod to remember the divine. I find myself mantra chanting with great urgency and it just overcomes. My being hears these words and something awakens inside of me. I am waking up to the greater love inside of me and it spreading everywhere that I go. I am taking ice cold showers and I still come out of the water warm. I feel that my heart is cracking open more and more and parts of my mind want to resist it. I had a dream involving my healing gift and just allowing it to take me over more and just get out of the way. I can feel that great changes keep happening around me and I am just focusing on being present with the change. We all just need to be present with what we are feeling even if it is uncomfortable.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
At This Moment Anything Can Truly happen and I really do believe that a man or woman can fly without wings just make sure you take off from the ground first (no jumping off rooftops or cliffs). Each person connects to another aspect of ourself and a different series of events are put into motion based on each little choice that we make. I have fear but i do my best to look at them clearly and understand that eventually I will have to leave. All of us are just visitors and may this place be better for our visit. I was recently at Coachella I got to hear Paul himself though I did not see him, but music is about hearing not seeing just ask Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder and they will be able to vouch for that. His voice was incredible and I Enjoyed myself immensely and thought that there is a wave of a new awakening coming that will demonstrate a large social shift and our values and priorities. The bus is moving and all of us are on it in one way shape or for.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Recently a writer friend of mine was telling me about a screenplay he was working and one of the main characters would be based on me. In his mind he thought James Franco would play me. I found the whole thing quite hysterical the idea the idea that James Franco could play me better then I could play me. I told my friend that I least want a chance to audition to by myself. Even if I don't get the role of me I least want to be able to tell people that I auditioned but James Franco was considered better as the part of me then I would be. I then considered the idea of sending in James Franco as my replacement in certain situations in my life. I thought this could be really interesting since some casting directors decided he was better at playing me then I am. Yet if he Played me would I then end up playing him. Is there really some sort of bizarre challenge in playing yourself in this world where people have a really hard to being themselves. Maybe we all need an actor to come and play us for a while to show us how we could better play ourselves. If you know anything about being a unconscious medium is the spirit comes thru and you are not there for the process. I once heard it being described as going to sleep while the spirit took over. I thought this was a beautiful description. I guess I would go to sleep while James Franco played me for a while. Maybe we all need a break from playing ourselves just to see how somebody else would do it.