Monday, October 30, 2006

Button Clicking

Key West (Weird)

Key West is a place that many people have heard of, but few people(with the exception of people from Florida,Jimmy Buffet fans, cruise ship casualities,and people that make your stumbling drunk uncle look like he has drinking under control)actually visit. The Roosters and chickens are wandering the streets at all hours of the night cockadoodle doing all the live long day and if you kill one of the roosters it is a $5000 fine. There are drag queens who are admantly relgious and have been saved by Christ. There are people who came for a 2 week vacation and have now been here for 20 years. This place has every sort of degenerate you could imagine, but it also has some the kindest and gentelest souls possible. Life is measured in extremes and Key West is a prime example of these extremes. Mega rich and mega poor and home to the accidental millionaire. People that found out their house is worth millions so they order another round of beers. Some people call this place the end of the line. Older people come here to die in peace or misery or a little bit of both. I once met a man married for 25 years had two sons decided he was gay got divorce gave his wife the house and moved to Key West (calls himself the strawberry man).

Key West or as some call it Key Weird reminds me of the show Northern exposure if it became Southern Exposure and tourists flocked from everywhere to buy useless souvenirs and trinkets that nobody will wear or use (unless some sort of natural disaster takes place or their laundry machine breaks down,which ever comes first). Most of these stores seem to be run by Israeli's that sell clothes at all hours of the night and will try to get you dancing to trance music. After the dancing they then convince you must buy clothes so that their boss will be happy. I have also met an Old Indian man (never actually been to India though he is 100% Indian) who seems like some sort of Sadhu and he reads your palm for $35 and he is quite good. And he sticks out like me in Japan except for the fact that most people here stick out like me iN Japan. Most people in Key West are either very wealthy or just scraping by and live on a boat or a place called Christmas tree island. It was in Key West that I met the infamous Papa Nutrino (google him) I also saw Jimmy Buffet perform at a friends wake.

Key West has been a starting point for me in many respects and my life will never be the same because of this blessed little out of the way place that is East everything and West of nothing. The people of Key West greet me like I have lived here always even though I spent 2 and half months here 3 years ago. Yeah, they know I've been gone but they are glad to have me back no matter how brief. Key West is the end of the line and I came here for the first time chasing something that was still a ways away. If you ever get a chance and decide that your life could use a little more weirdness in it then come to Key West and you will begin to grasp the essence of this place. I would say it is the oddest place that I have been to in the United States, but there are still places I have yet to explore.

Recently I was stopped by the cops and told that if they caught someone giving me a donation for spiritual healing I would go to jail. I thought wow!, Key West is really changing and then a good friend of mine reminded me America is the one who is changing. Then I remembered a little known fact that Key West for a few hours in the early 80's became it is own country called the "Conch Republic". Viva La Conch Viva La Conch it shall come back and spiritual healers and other street performers shall be able to do their things as protected in an often forgotten document called the constitution or should I say Conchstitution.

Friday, October 27, 2006

About My Friend Mimi (from Austin, Texas)

Since the amount of people that read this blog only is in the mid double digits on an active day. I have developed a very close relationship to those who read my blog especially to those who respond. Mimi in her mego mania has decided that I needed to write a blog about her. Recently she has even begun to put her non-existent son and my non-existent son into competition with each other. Obviously, things have reached a breaking point.
So here it goes I met Mimi in 2005 when she was selling jello shots at Bar None. We only met briefly a couple of times on the street, but she was memorable nontheless. Yes, there I said it. I hope your ego is relishing in the fact that despite the millions of people I have met that you are memorable (and yes I have met millions). I could end the blog here, but for the benefit of Mimi's ego I will go on, but it will be a long time before I ever do this again. So please enjoy.

Mimi and I have had many wonderful conversations despite her ability to sometimes be easily distracted by a Marc Jacob's sale or a cute boy. She is also a really good person to cuddle with under most circumstances. Furthermore since Mimi is a girl who guards her virginity ferciously we never copulated though we once had an extensive make-out session and it was fabulous (she is very kissable). I recommend that you make out with her if you ever get the chance. Mimi is also a model and once I made the mistake of thinking it was called a full figure model and she became enraged and threatened to brutally mock my unborn son, but I quickly explained I had no idea what the term meant. Amyway.... where was?... oh yes Mimi she has been kind enough to give me a place to crash on occassion and is thoroughly amusing. I am very blessed to have her in my life. Hopefully this will suffice and anyone else out there who wants a personalized blog if the mood strikes I just might grant you one.

Excuse the grammar but the English seems to have left me recently...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

For Anyone Out there Having A Rough Time

There are going to be times where you feel like you don't know which way to turn or if you even want to turn at all. Left will seem right and right will seem wrong and you will feel like wherever you go that you don't belong, but that is merely the mind playing tricks on you. So often are minds are running wild and it prevents us from fully being in the glory of the moment that we have right now. Only right now offers us an opportunity to be truly at peace the past is gone and the future does not exist. Everything depends on this very moment that we have before us. If we are hopeful and brave then things will happen that coincide with that. So many thoughts but not enough breaths. The breath is the key to escaping the many prison cells of the mind. Sit. lie down, or stand-up and surrender to your breathing. I mean this do it as if your sanity depends on it. Take in the fullest of wherever you are and whatever you are doing and know that when you are in a state of calmness you make your best choices that enrich your life more.
Revolution is the evolution of humanity,
We are humanity and we are evolving one moment at a time

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Yo Mama Debacle

For those of you who don't know I was on Yo Mama (God, Jesus, Buddha, Moses may all of u forgive me). I had never previously cracked a Yo Mama joke in my entire life. Then one of my good friends took me to an audition and I started making them up on the spot. It turns out I am actually pretty good at it. It is not a skill that I am actually proud of, but apparently one that I have. Spiritual healing is less relevant than a good Yo Mama joke to the average young person that watches MTV. How the world got to this point I am not sure. I also think there is a possibility that this episode could end up upsetting the religious right ( I guess there are worse things that could happen). I plan on hiding and keeping to myself in Key West and then India. Please don't ask me about the episode I don't remember what happened. I had just gotten back from Bonnaroo and I had not slept at all and I had already agreed to do this show. By the way, in case you are wondering, many of the people involved in this show believe it is ground breaking. Yes!!!! it is true, I was told this by people involved in the show, but when you compare this to other shows on MTV-glorifying rich spoiled 16 year olds- maybe it could be considered ground breaking.

I guess Yo Mama is my first presidential scandal. Most people tell you they found Jesus well it appears that I have found youtube and blogging. Hopefully Smiley will trump this controversy quite soon and surpass me on this first scandal on this presidential campaign. I would also like to apologize to you and any of your mothers. Furthermore, not that it matters, but the best Yo Mama jokes are never aired being that they contain too much profanity. I was told not to tell those sort of jokes which is ulitmately how you win over the crowd. They will ultimately splice in the crowd with them laughing about jokes that you will never hear. So if you see them laughing too hard at a bad joke it was actually a good joke that you will not hear. I had my hands tied behind my back as I tried to stay away for these sort of jokes. Speaking of Jokes, while most young people in the country are focused on this show many people contiune to die in a war in Iraq that President Bush and TRL assured me ended in 2003. So these last 3 years have been some sort of illusion. And if they can all pretend this is some sort of farce then I plan on using the same strategy for Yo Mama. To quote my good old buddy Ronald Regan "I do not recall sentator". That was fucking brilliant... where do they come up with this stuff?

Monday, October 16, 2006

My VP was Seconded By A Cat

Luna the Cat (don't ask) has given Smiley an endorsement as the best possible VP candidate available for my upcoming presidential election. Some of you that don't know Smiley or Luna may have their doubts, but if you knew them you still might have your doubts. I have the utmost faith in Smiley despite problems with the "sauce" and other pharmactical products which remain mere speculation by people who are intent in hindering the rolling tidal wave. Ultimately I don't give a fuck about what the media, critics have to say about my VP (who may or may not exist). He is going to rock this country and help me to court voters who happen to hate hippies ( I still don't view myself as a hippie despite any overwhelming evidence to the contrary). Ultimately he has a lot of heart, passion, and moxy to roll on the this traveling circus.

It might be dangerous and he might end up getting killed (please don't tell him that though), but he will have to save this country even though he doesn't want to. He was content for a while spinning the ferris wheel at Fantasy Island and being a lifeguard (that's right he saves/protects lives). I am not sure if he is real, but if I put him on television I will be much more convinced that he actually exists and this will help my sanity. So maybe I selected as a VP to assist my own sanity and maybe I selected him because he is really good at selling t-shirts and maybe I selected because he was the only person insane enough to hold the position. I have faith in this man and he has some ideas he has a lot of ideas some of which may turn out to be very dangerous, but still they seem really interesting.

He is also capable of being involved in more scandals then myself which will help to take some of the heat off of me assuming he actually exists and it is not my pseudo creation of Tyler Dirden. Te'Devan & Smiley 2008 Te'DeVan & Smiley 2008 Te'DeVan & Smiley 2008. God Bless America!!!!! God Bless America!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Love Being A Traveling Man

So my friend Matt Fisher wrote a song and in it he says "will somebody please tell me where I'm supposed to be". This is certainly how I am feeling these days. I am actually attempting to settle into Portland for the next couple of months and just rent a little room/basement somewhere here and focus intensely on my meditation. It is an emotional time for me and also a great time to challenge myself in regards to any fear that I have. Recently I have been reading "Be Here Now" and contemplating the idea of dying -- for only when the ego dies can we truly be free. I want to let go of my attachment to everything that I have held so dear. I need to rediscover a greater peace inside of me.

I took a break from this and now I revisit it and am leaving Portland on my way to Northern Cali and Key West. Who knows what awaits me there? I first was driven to Key West because of a girl that I was madly in love with at the time 3 years ago. I was dressed in a white robe (jesus) and she had on a blonde wig (supposedly Marilyn Monroe) and she broke my heart in front of a Denny's. I laugh about it quite a bit now, but something else pulls me back there this time. There is something about little Magaritaville that is calling me beyond what people would expect. I first learned about John of God while in Key West along with a few other things. Now that I have been to Brazil and spent 5 weeks with John of God I want to bring that back to the people of Key West Florida and all the people that pass on thru while I am there. Key West is the end of the line, the southern most point in the United States. It is west of nothing and east of everything. It is where Hemingway started doing his thing and a place that calls me back 3 years to the day. This time it is something completely different, something that I will not even begin to try and explain. This time I feel that I am playing for keeps.

I'll see many of you soon, and Portland, know that I will come back when the timing is right. You have made your love clear to me and I thank you for that.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Written To Blue In Green

This one is dedicated to a girl that told me I won't know her when I'm famous. To a girl that was crazy, intense, passionate, brillant, sexy, and holding onto her sadness. She thought that things had to remain dysfunctional and she was scared to let go of those dysfuncitons whether booze, coke, or bad boys. She has so much promise but seemed scared to deliver. When I told her we shouldn't date she told me that I had made the right choice. She said this in a truthful, matter-of-fact way without any indication that I should feel sorry for her. At that moment I wanted to make the wrong choice more than anything. One time she told she was falling in love with me and having recently watched Cary Grant I told her "that's a ridiculous thing to say".

She was falling in love with someone who said it was okay just to be yourself. She was fiercely loyal and well-read and she really understood me and what my greater purpose was in this world. On the surface I am a spiritual healer and she was a boozing coke-head nympho, but that is bullshit and doesn't say anything about either her or me. I will always remember her and especially when I hear Miles Davis. She was half black & half white, from Virgina and she called herself "High Yellow". She had an amazing body, but all I wanted to stare at were her eyes and she would always ask why I was not staring at her body. She was so used to being objectified that another way made her uncomfortable.

I knew when I met her exactly where it was all going, but I wanted to experience all of it anyway. I told her if she ever started a revolution and needed some help to give me a call. And this one is for "you" even if you never read this -- in some way or another this will get to you. I meant what I said. I always meant what I said and I think that is why you loved my freestyle rapping so much because it came from the entire core of my being. I love you "Blue In Green" and I think about you all the time. You came at a time in my life when I needed you and I hope in some way that I gave you some sense of hope as well.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

A New Dawn

This is what's up with me. I am in Portland seeing deeper and deeper into myself and facing fears and dealing with emotions and figuring truly what I want beyond any sort of goal accomplishments. People are waking and I can see it the eyes of the people that I gaze upon every day. I only represent a small fraction of what is about to happen. I will represent a whole new craze in the sense of people being mad for God/Love/Universe without any religious affiliation in the mainstream not just some "new age" craze. The divisions are coming down and I am meeting with new people each day who will have a large say in which the way this world is going. It won't take as much as people believe for a new day to come.

The way of going about things will not hold. Each one of us is responsible for our own awakening. I know that all of you are part of this in some way shape or form. Just smile, laugh and stay present in this moment because that is what allows the magic to happen. Being in the moment is similar to that feeling of your life feeling like a movie that gives you chills and hits your emotions. Stop playing it safe, don't settle, because it all ends before your eyes can blink. Don't live in fear of something that was not even real. Eyes open, especially the 3rd one which can be tricky but just open it up because people are going to need you to use that extra sight to the guide them in the times ahead.

Waves of passion and fire and never for a second doubt that we all have a place in this producution that we call life.

It hurts so Bad

So you want to tear out your hair and dance naked in the rain in a busy city street because you have reached that breaking point when you realized that you've been had. You've been told so much nonsense and now you just want to be swallowed by Moby Dick and tell the Captain to go fuck himself because he is wasting his time. That is right Oh Captain my Captain find yourself another quest because I don't want to be anyone's charity case. It is over between you me and the editor. No m ore editors let it be sloppy. Hyperventilate into your paper bag because I will give you something to freak out about. You can guranatee that I will give you something to lose your breath over. Let me take your breath away because you weren't reeally using it for anything anyway. This is raw and right out of that place that is just tired of being kicked around and I don't need anything other than to stay hungry. Cut quickeer then you could pick up your knife. Why do you want me so bad if you couldn't handle me anyway. So it is at a point where something has to burst. I am going to snap out of this dream in the blink of an eye I will it so and the will is fierce and the hearrt is willing. Give me extra letters and don't butterr me up in some sort of attempt to shoot me up with dope. I don't want to be numb I am here so look at my hands and tell me if you see your destiny in them. I'll keep them wide open and energy beams will shoot on thru them as I have peeled away the layers. Give me your imperfections and I'll tell you that I am jusst a giant boy and the universe tells me I have a role to play so I am here to play and if you have any questions get the anwsers from yourself because it is Christ within you that saves.

Sincerely your favorite lover/sinner/winner and guest for dinner,

Thursday, October 05, 2006

New Videos

Just say "NO" to Pharmacy

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Greatest Happens Can Happen Accidentally

If we allow ourselves to constantly to be doing the things that we truly enjoy and are passionate about in our lives as much as possible we would all experience more joy. The side effect of this type of living is that truly great things start to unfold around us all the time. It is one enjoyable action, after another and then it spreads and becomes contagious. We truly alter the world thru this mentality. Many of our great actions could be stopping and hugging a tree, asking someone if we can help them out, taking the time to listen, planting flowers in a retired person's home. All of these thinga are quite simple, but have the potential to alter everything that we know.

The world changes quicker as we allow that amaxing change to take place thru us in each and every moment. We must allow ourselves to take chances towards the things we desire and the eventual outcomes will be perecieved as greatness in regards to events that unfold.
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