In my life I truly could end up anywhere at any moment. I do enjoy the spontaneous aspect of my life greatly, but it makes making plans in advance dam near impossible. I went briefly to upstate NYC to experience the energy of the healer from Brazil known as John of God. It was the Omega institute I was not a registered guest and was asked to leave, but not before I expereinced a deep state of stillness and a feeling that I had come to have my healing and greater awakening. Leading up to it I had quite a few emotional buttons that were pressed. I have been following the flow and allowing myself to feel that all things come to pass. I have been to so many places in this amazing a country and I want to find an amazing place and bring together many like minded people. Many places float thru my head as possible places. I believe that we are all perfect and we just need to stop and see our perfection and not focus so much on our flaws. I have given love and received and confused lust for love and unhealthy for healthy and the other way around. I am trying to find a deeper center. Trying to not try so hard, but not to allow myself to fall into certain patterns that don't offer me a chance to grow. We are all on our own epic jounreys which just have to be willing to take the first step. And we will know when it is time to take that step. In the meantime we merely need to enjoy where we are in this moment and not think that another place or situation is going to fix our problems.
I have also learned that people betray you, but don't view their actions as betrayal and all you can do is let it go or let bog you down. You just have to keep moving forward otherwise you are living in the past. I want to live in the present and experience the bliss that is always available. Recently I have been feeling a desire to express myself, but not sure what to say. Tai-chi, chi-gong, yoga, etc.. these are just some ways toward a quiet mind and open heart. I want to be brave though my mind sometimes trys to get in the way. I can not heal anybody I can only hold the space for people to let go of their pain when they are ready. We can be vessels for healings all of us can be its just some of us allow ourselves to be that vessel. There are many different ways to heal and the most powerful one is to be present.