Finding Those Emotions

Often I find that what I want is to cry what I want is to feel and see things that I have been hiding from myself. I find that often I cry other people's tears as part of their healing. I have been desiring to have a female partner these days. It has been a strong feeling stronger then it has been at any point in my life, but I know that I just have to release the attachment to it and just let it happen. I find there have been many almost situations. I want to have that relationship that helps to awaken feelings in me that have been dormant. I don't need a relationship for those feelings to be awakened. I need to focus more on having a relationship with the life force that is present everywhere. I love deeply and I lose track of the days and my passion for trees is epic. All of us are chasing after things that we already have and the mind convinces us that we don't have it yet. I am striving on a spiritual path to a point of having a peace that can not be shaken. I have not reached that point. People from past are always returning and ones from my present disappear in a visual sense. I merely introduce them and play the small role of matchmaker. I am still somewhat in awe of how close I am getting and part of me wants to say I am close enough to God and I'll just leave it at that, but that is not an option. I have to finish what I started. I have to remove the veil and see beyond this world into another.