I can feel myself not wanting to do things that I used to do and just more of awareness that things that seemed utterly important don't hold the same meaning. Our awareness of things determines our perspective about our life and therefore the world around us. I am listening to new types of music and channeling new sounds in my healing. New York is on my mind and just helping bring an end to all the needless suffering in the world. Everybody should have access to clean water and basic medical treatment.
All the wars we fight start with the wars that we wage in our minds and then they spread outwards. All of this entire life will pass and I will be explaining to my grandchildren what the hell pay phones when they are shown in old movies. I find that I want to feel my deepest emotions that have been held back because it wasn't practical. I can feel a desire to come undone in regards to letting go of any pretenses that I put forward in an attempt to protect something that is not real. I can feel myself reacting less often, but when I do react I can feel it almost take over and then I become aware of it and then this "pain body" as Tolle describes pulls back because it can not exist in a state of heightened awareness. Only deep love exists in total awareness.
A good friend of mine just went to Brazil to see John of God for the next month and I got to see her just before she left and I feel that a part of me is going there. When we realize our connection to everyone we can rejoice in their joys as things that are happening to us because in such a greater sense these amazing things are happening to us. I recently opened up a Rolling Stone magazine to find one of the year's break thru artists. I slept on his girlfriend's floor one night back in late 2004 early 2005 nearby UCLA's campus. He is such a positive energy to him and he is bringing forth music that makes people experience a deeper joy. It reminds that there are reasons why we encounter all the people that we meet along the way. I am 28 years old and I am just going to keep following the flow wherever it will take me wherever I am needed to be is where I shall allow myself to be.
The 80's keep resurfacing and I keep hearing people say "Nobody pushes baby in corner". Sometimes my writing is emotionally charged and other times it is more of a calm reflection and they both serve a purpose in their given moment. I have been couchsurfing with the most wonderful people in San Francisco. The city is so amazing and I am always running into people that remind me "Aren't you the guy from Union Square Park". Yet as I write that I realize that how easy it is to change our identity. At our core there is something about us that never changes. I strive to always remain aware of that inner feeling that does not depend on other people's reactions to feel either good or bad. This month had a major resurgence of people from my past that I had not heard from in a while and each one came to remind me of a different point in my journey. This very moment is my oasis. This very moment I am born a child merely observing the world and as a fully present observer I help to alter the outcome assuming you believe in free will. I do believe in free will, but it takes great will to bring it forward.