Even Not Wanting Is Still Wanting

I was talking to a good friend of mine last night and he was worried that he was starting to lose motivation to make money or get with glrls or somehow get more status in this world. Yet at the same time having no desires is the essence of buddhist enlightenment. Yet if you desire not to have desires that is a desire within itself. I got an e-mail recently from a girl I once know and I still know in that other plane of existence that we acknowledge, but most people don't accept as real. My past is based upon my karma which is based upon actions. I feel that I have so much to remember and though my mind is becoming more still it still has scattered thoughts and love is something that keeps expanding and we keep remembering that we are part of some story that we can affect, but there are certain things that we have no control over.

Everyone is a reflection of where we are on our journey and I feel things so acutely at times and other times I am going thru the motions because it is familiar. I touch a level or a sensation and then it passes and then we realize the way that we should feel all the time. So many things going on and things taking place on different levels and part of me is the dead sea and part of me is in Paris and part of me is in chicago New York San francisco and other places that don't even occur to me. Yet this moment we have lifes that keep interescting and then pulling away only to pull back together. We want to be ready for certain things, but we are not ready and we focus too much others and not enough on our true self.