Don't Call It A Comeback

Some of you might think that the presidential campaign is some sort of joke and that I am not actually serious about this endeavor. You would be very wrong. As we speak the campaign is starting to head into 2nd gear. I am not sure what the heck that means but I know firmly that we are heading into 2nd gear and there is no reason to have any fear because me and amazing crew of merry pranksters are very near. We are pulling out all the stops. We will soon be rasing funds for a small fleet of vegetable oil buses and A-team of very unique people from many different walks of life. It happens one person at a time and many different things are coming together. Just to let you all know Papa Neutrino has agreed to be secretary of transportation. Some of you know this man and others of you don't, but he is most famous for building a raft out of scrap parts and going across the Atlantic ocean. The man has will power and alot of courage to say the least. He told me that this campaign must happen. This is not a man to be argued with in any respect. If he says it must happen then indeed it must happen.

All of you are a part of this presidential race. 120 million people voted in the last white house race give or take a few million. Our current population is 300 million I want to tap into the 180 million people who did not vote. I want to show America that in this age even if you don't have much money you to can run for President of the United States. Lets help to put the word "servant" back into public servant. I would like to thank everyone for their support so far on the early part of the campaign trail. I would also like to thank everyone who told even just one person about this idea. There is a tipping point and we are rapidly reaching that point. Never doubt the power of just one voice to help change everything in the blink of an eye. A cover of Rolling Stone magazine will be just one of the markers that this campaign will reach. You can count on it my friends. The people will be heard and politics will forever be changed.

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Looking at My Fears

Sometimes I fear that I am all wrong and sometimes I fear that I am mostly right and neither is completely true and yet both somehow make me a little nervous. We are all part of something that is much larger then any of us and we lose sight of the bigger picture. We become swallowed up entirely by our small dramas that mean nothing. Spending time in India help to put struggle into perspective. I have no problems and I never have had any problems. Only my mind thought there was a problem, but it always worked itself out. I am starting to realize how this is a waking dream and our thoughts are always shaping this dream that we live in.

New people enter our lives when we allow ourselves to make room for them. If we want something it will come our way, but when it does come let in and don't eye it suspiciously. I always get just what I needed and I as I want less the more I find myself receiving. We can't imagine or understand how we touch people's lives. We just have to allow ourselves to be present in this moment and offer our heart to other people and they will pass that on to others.

People can dislike or loathe George Bush and his group, but if people would refuse to pick up their weapons then they would have no power. By hating him we give him power and we focus too much of our energy on it and it drains us of our creative ability. I don't like what he does, but instead I focus on being the best person I can be at every moment and focusing on the things that matter to me. May I continue to pass on as many blessings as possible.

All of IT is Happening Now

I am not sure what the hell I mean by this statement I just know it to be true. I can feel alot of things swirling around me and I've made peace with alot of things that used to make me more nervous and now I have a deep calm about. Truthfully part of mind is uncomfortable with how at peace I am with alot of things, but I am learning to accept this as well and just keep being. All of us have a natural disposition and mine has usually been to work too hard and make things much more challenging then they need to be. When I used to train hard I would usually cause myself physical injury by not giving myself enough rest and relaxation. Striving is a wonderful thing, but you also have to surrender a bit as well and I had a really hard time with surrendering.

Age and experience has taught me this lesson time and time again and that the universe has its own time schedule and to fully enjoy and immerse myself in the moment that I am in right now. I might not be granted another one and appreciate the peace that I am having right now. I am listening to the sounds of recording whales and dolphins as I write this to you. They really do make an amazing music and it stirs up a beautiful feeling of solitude. I imagine myself in the middle of the pacific ocean on a raft with Papa Neutrino. The ocean is truly amazing and we are part of that amazing ocean.

I am coming back to NYC and so much is up in the air and I am just going to feel my way thru carefully and slowly and listen to the guidance that I receive. We all end up exactly where we are supposed to be and the internal work that we do puts us on the right situation. These are the days of miracles is a thought that keeps bouncing around in my head. What if .............? I keep thinking what it is that might be in store for me and the world I live in. I feel a quiet right now before the storm and when the storm hits I will be still be internally feeling the same quiet. COuld it be an earthquake, a miracle, another war, a terrorist attack,or all of the above. It could be everything and anything, but I feel something and I know that it is written on the wall. I just can't seem to get close enough to read it.

Everyone take care and I'll see you all soon.

"Hot Sex Without Crystal, Hell Yeah!"

In case you are wondering what the heck this is about I found a giant advertisement in the Castro district of San Fran. I was laughing hysterically, but it also made my mind think how bad is the crystal Meth problem? It must be one of the hugest epedemics since crack hit the scene, but maybe worse. Imagine driving thru the suburbs or anywhere and seeing a billboard that reads "Hot sex without Cocaine, Hell Yeah", or "Hot Sex Without Viagra, Hell Yeah". We could discuss what this means for a long time, but suffice to say I figure some of you would get a laugh from the ad at the very least. At first I thought the ad was talking about crystals, but I soon realized they meant crystal Meth. Still someone somewhere must have thought the same thing.

In other news I love San Fran and I would like to mention an Oscar Wilde quote "Its and odd thing they say but everyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco". I have become one of those people. In other news yesterday was the celebration of the first man launched into Space and I celebrated it the only way possible other then going into space myself I did the next best thing. I went to a NASA rave party outside of Santa Cruz. I fell asleep in some pillows and my buddy Jordan could not find me, but I found a giant bus and hopped a ride back. I will be back in NYC April 18th for 8 days.

Te'DeVan

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Missing the Bigger Picture

I always find that most of the time we are missing the bigger picture and thinking that we have figured out the bigger picture. Once we truly realize the bigger picture there is no more drama in our lives period. We have a greater understanding of the small role we play in life and there many other things going on that we are not aware of it. There are always many unseen forces at work in any give situation. Things that seem wonderful or that seem awful are viewed differently once more information is received.

Even though I have brought more of my focus onto God/Love I still realize that my mind remains distracted on issues and events that don't actually feed my soul. I am letting go of these things , but all of this is an on going process and there are so many unseen forces and sometimes we can sense them , but most of the time we are oblivious. I do believe there is an inherent order in the universe and that are basic understanding of natural laws is not completely true. Quantum physics seems to be offering a scientific understanding that we may be missing something in our understanding of the world around us.

I look forward in the near future to have my brain waves measured while I am doing healing work and for the results upon the person I am working upon to also be measured. Our machines don't measure everything, but I feel confident that they measure enough to show that more study into this sort of thing is well merited. John of God is a great example of someone that science should be studying. Yet, many of them shun him or fear him and his work. Most scientists are missing the bigger picture. All of this is coming to a huge turning point because the fate of our species will reside in our ability to better understand ourselves and the imbalance inside of us plays out on our planet.

I am keeping greater focus on God/love throughout the day and if we all do that then we will be able to find more balance in our lives. In finding this balance we will be able to see the world around us more clearly. Each one of us should strive to better understand ourselves and that will help us to see the world more clearly and get closer to seeing the bigger picture of life.

Ghandi Fasted

Now that I am on day three I have been feeling some fascinating feelings running thru me and I realize how much I eat that my body is still try to catch up to and process. Your body has at least 3 days of back-up that it hasn't worked out of your system and some cases more. I was fairly amazed at this simple revelation. If I can break my attachment to food I will be in a higher state of bliss. I am always thinking about food and at times my appetite feels a bit like a bottomless pit. I always get nervous when people want to share food with me because I am inclined to eat all of it if I don't pay careful attention.

There is nothing wrong with a healthy appetite, but I found that I would use food as a distraction. Something to do when I did not know what else to do. Food can actually be quite a drug. American in particular has quite an odd relationship with food. In 3rd world countries nobody has eating disorders and trying to explain Bulimia is like trying to explain the idea of peace and mediation to the current white house regime.

All of the things in our life connect even though we can't see those connections. Beyond all these thoughts the idea of Ghandi Fasting to bring about peace somehow started to make alot more sense to me. I never fully understood the power of fasting. I do consume lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper which is pretty well known amongst people that do this sort of stuff. My goal is 5 days which would be good starting point. We live off more then just food and doing this brief fast has helped me to see that simple and wonderful fact thru my own personal experience. There is a power of mind and spirit that is realized when we start to break our attachment to food. As I kid I thought the idea of 24 hours was unbearable and there were moments on the first day where I got a little cranky and now I am starting to hit a groove. Cleanse the body, mind and soul.

Did I tell you guys that miss all of you and I want to have you all in the same place at one time or just discover how to become full omnipresent.

The Celibacy thing hit a minor bump

Okay I fell harder then Bill Clinton hanging out at the Miss America after party. I had actually been celibate for about 9 months and the moment I realized it and made it my focus I fell off, but I rather enjoyed the fall so to speak and she was really sweet. I met her in park. I feel like that seems to happen to me alot meeting women in parks. Maybe I should stay out of parks and then I won't falter anymore. On the bright side I am on my 3rd day of not eating and I am actually feeling really good. No food and great sex sounds like the new hot diet sweeping the nation.

I still want to have a girlfriend and settle into a bit more of a routine. I am coming back to NYC April 18th and will be Union Square Park in the early afternoon for anyone that wants to know. I also want to thank all the people out there who are helping people to overcome cancer thru diet, herbs, and energy work. I am still in San Francisco and really happy to be here. Just so you know the presidential campaign will be picking up quite soon. There are changes ahead my friends and we just have to keep following our bliss and occasionally enjoying our stumbles and fumbles. But the stumbles and fumbles make life great as long as we don't try to pretend they didn't happen. Lets just be honest without trying to be vicious. Honesty with sincere kindness.

When People Remind Us of Other PEople and Celibacy

This is a really interesting part of life that encourages people to project tremendous amounts of emotions and feelings on someone that they just met. Somehow this person is going to replace this other person that they remind you of. Maybe the other passed away or maybe you don't talk to them anymore, but this person came along and they totally remind you of your former love, friend, brother, sister, etc....

So many of our feelings are caused by the association we have with something and have very little to do with who this person is in your life. Last night I had an intensive conversation with a girl about how I didn't want to have sex unless I was in love and she told me that she has hard time having sex when emotions are involved. We found ourselves in a bit of a standstill. I figured that this whole "No Sex" made me intriguing and quite odd. I am sure that "no sex" could actually become a more ambitious guys way of getting laid. Fortunately or unfortunately I actually mean or at least in this present moment. I can honestly say I want a girlfriend it has been 4 years and I am reaching a point of not ever wanting my sex to be detached from emotions.

Emotions are actually my favorite part of sex and maybe I am an emotional junkie, but if they can't bring me to tears with their heart then I don't want it. Thru my mediation I have become more sensitive and of course I still yearn for sex at times, but I yearn for a different type of sex. Last night was an interesting reminder of that fact. On some funny level I found that my being unavailable to a girl who was emotionally not connected to her feelings greatly increased her interest in me.

Of course there is part of me that thinks I am merely insane and that I should push away this whole crazy idea of only having sex when I am in love. It says "Maybe you want fall in love"or "Maybe you won't fall in love with someone who loves you back". This of course might cause fear and then cause a person to settle. I have my goal and I am not settling and to increase my will power I have recently started a 5 day fast. It is a fast on many levels and it will help to stay more focused and be less distracted.

Sex with Pirates

I once had a really good friend of mine and she was very proud that the boy she was seeing called himself a pirate. She had such excitement in her voice about this fact. It did not last too long and in then end he slept with her cousin and spent her money on drugs. She was upset and I kept thinking he did exactly what I would expect a pirate to do. We love people for our certain reasons and then we end up resenting them for those same reasons.

Often I tell people don't get upset with your dog because it is not a cat or your cat because it is not a dog. All of us are perfect in our ways and we all play our own roles in this drama called life. Some of us are aware of our roles to some extent while other people don't have much of any awareness of what role they play. These days I have started to surrender more and more I become less upset by most things after coming back from India. It takes a place or a moment sometime to put things into pespective and India has given me that gift and I am utilizing quite strongly since I got back.

San Fran is My Mistress

Of course I miss NYC but San Fran is a mistress that is just so enticing these days and 40 degrees doesn't excite me all that much. When your hot your hot and right now NYC is not quite so hot or even luke warm. It seems a late spring and probably a Indian Summer or maybe an India summer and temperatures will feel like 115 degrees on a couple of days. It will be a brutal heat index. Groundhog Phil move over because crazy nomad Te'DeVan is making weather predictions.

I also have desire to start drinking women's breast milk. I desire that the woman have a vegan organic diet and I am willing to pay $5 for 4 ounces. I am so over the cow thing after my time in India. I want real women's breast milk and she is still vegan if she drinks her own breast milk or anyone else's breast milk for that matter. A Dharma Pad shall be made soon. I am planning on heading to Coachella and staying out west until the end of April.

In other news today was my first day walking around with my sign and it felt great. God how I missed carrying around my sign. Dependable and durable this might be the greatest sign I have ever had. Have fun today and break some rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Wanna Know about India Look Into My Eyes

I have quite a few friends that want me to tell them what India was like? I simply can't do it justice but India is certainly in my eyes. When I look in the mirror I can see that they are more Indian. This might sound crazy to some, but certainly not the most radical statement that I have ever made. The cultural shock and weather change have been minimal. I feel that I have alot of work to do and I am more focused on God and trusting. I can expect other people trust more if I won't do the same. I missed all of you guys and now most of us or only at most a mere 3,000 miles apart. We are basically right next door if you are on the east coast. My perspectives were greatly shifted on quite a few things and I just am more focused on making the highest choice that I can make in any given moment.

I am not the same man that left a year and half ago (month and half on linear time). I saw so many things and I am still taking it all in, but the Guru rules India. Whether false or real it is still the Guru who rules rather then the dollar. India is the land of heart and even the con men will have alot of heart or no heart. People in India are one extreme or another nobody seems to be sitting on the fence. I am waking up more to my higher calling and letting Ganesha to take care of the rest. I am making choices faster with less hesitation. I am waking up to life in a land that is reawakening as well. There is a middle path between East and West and it will be found and we will both be victorious as a result. This is a year to bring people together despite differences. I have come to understand more how we are the same. All of us searching for something that feels right something that feels good something that feels good in our heart.

Sending all my love to the people I met in India and look forward to seeing all of my friends spread out throughout the country. In the silence when looking into my eyes you will learn more about India then any of the words I write in my blog.

TraveL Report About Goa

ANjuna is a wonderful spot where conversations with all sorts of people abound. If you are person that loves great food and prefers your food organic then why did you come to Goa? It is okay because the Blue Tao will take care of all of your needs including wheat grass and spirulana. The heart of the matter is for those looking to meet a girl or guy here for possible rendevzous and escapades. I would recommend the restuarants as well as the beaches. Do not be shy in Goa. THere is always some sort of trance party going on here. You can get a room in Vagator for as cheap as hundred ruppes. Baragain for everything here and remember you are not just closing a deal here you are making your friends at the same time.

There is a magic in the air and it is Bunring Man meets Key West. If Burning Man had it a beach it would be GOa. THE goans are quite a bit different then Indians. THey do not view themselves as being Indian they are GOan. DO the same. You will meet Indians on holiday from Bombay and other places around India. THey love to take pictures of you especially on beaches such as Vagator. Want to know what its like to be famous for no reason come to Vagator beach. You will be in countless photo albums. FOr those eanting some spiritual healng and maybe in search of a miracle. There is a man here named Patrick and he has got the gift say many people that have experienced his magic first hand. Bad knees, cancer patients and all sorts of diseases. Get there early in peak season he will see a hundred a day. Most visits are quite brief but still of great benefit. THere is a presence to experience even if you think that you are well. Goa has an edge to it and a bit of recklessness about it and button down people open up all or at least quite a few of their buttons or they just run around naked screaming at some trance party. Baga is a bit pricey un comparison to the rest of Goa and is wonderful to meet the tourist sorts of types from England and there is a bit of a clubby vibe at night time. You want to have a girl though to get into these places it makes it easeir. 600 ruppees and all you can drink all night long. Yet the drinks are bit a weak according to most people, but for the light weights that like that scene check it out. Goa is a place to get wasted and get enlightened quite a bit. Charles DIckens would love this place.

I am still provessing quite a bit

Everyo moment here keeps me constantly on my toes and challenges me to think about everything. I have been rethinking how romantic love is wonderful there is something much greater then that feeling. Romantic love turns quicker then milk on hot day in India. I only wish to be able to express just a small fraction of this experience. When I get back people will constantly ask me about this trip. I will save the stories as they appear to be of value in a given moment otherwise I will post them on the blog. THere are alot of little things here that sound very small, but have been etched in your mind forever. I have allowed quite a few birds to fly away even though I showed in interest in their feathers I found that I was more focused on the heart these days. I still look at the feathers, but my heart longs for the flying more then anything.

I have been purging myself of things that are not useful and continue to learn how to be more resourceful. I met a man here that fell in love and then lost his love in a most unexpected way. It broke my heart and gave me tremendous hope at the same time. The love we experience will last us a life time. Be open to it and India or whatever version of India can be everywhere. I have recently been asked to write about these experiences for a travel publication. THis is most forray into this field, but I guess it has been a long time coming. I desire to make the information useful, but I want it to tug at people's hearts and not just be information. Information misleads and your heart never will.

When you choose to do business here you are also choosing your friends. So choose wisely. The cheapest ones are not always the best ones. Look at their eyes more then their smiles. Many people can smile before they attack. I love being on the buses here. THe intense sweating brings me great joy and makes me feel very connected the culture. The fact the buses want your business so badly is alos quite beautiful. Keep being your voyage whatever it maybe and just make sure that it is giving your heart satisfaction.

Before You Come to India Learn Russian

Being India I have only one major regret. I wish that I had learned the Russian language I could also say German, but most of the Germans know how to speak English while the Russians usually just know a choice phrases such as "You like Trance Music", "We are having a trance Party", and "Do you want a drink?". I seriously would have had a few possible Russian romances at this point, but I have no regrets about it. Language certainly plays a factor in our interactions, but it is quite fun to have a bit of physical attraction and not have any small talk because they can't speak your language. I just do my best to let the energy speak on my behalf.

A really great show would be putting my on dates with women who don't speak english and watching them trying to figure out what they hell I am doing. Most of the time I don't even know I just let it happen. I also had an odd epiphany which is somehow it is easier to just have sex with a girl instead of asking if you can hold her hand. Holding someone's hand can be alot more intimate then sex. Not that I comparing handing holding to sex, but somehow people skip over to many steps and shaking hands has become sex and sex has become hugging. I am not sure if that makes any sense, but it just seems to ring true in my observations of people's fear of actual emotions. The moral of the story is that learning Russian is great, but learning love is probably alot better.

Two Pieces of Chocolate Cake for A Day's Work

I am in Goa, India for those of you who did not know. And they say it is not India, but I have also heard that Key West is not the United States. People always want to tell you what something is or isn't. Goa has a much greater portugese and catholic influence then the rest of India. It was founded by the Portugese back in the day and you will find quite a few beautiful cathedrals here in Goa. A day laborer in India will make about hundred rupees a day. This will translate to about a little more then two American dollars or in my case two pieces of a cake called "cholocate Malibu almond" cake. In the states I would not eat such thing in most cases and would instead opt for an amazing vegan desert. Needless to say I have abandoned that sort of thinking in India. I will be basically in short period of times consume a day's wages for one man at one brief sittting.

Our concetps of poverty are very different then a 3rd world countries conept of poverty. In many cases people here are working for what they need and not working for luxuries though that is starting to change as India is making "progress". There are over 30 billionaires in India according to Forbes magazine and their total net value is 191 billion. Yet, even in Goa a busy tourist town the cows and dogs still act as the garbage men. THey eat the garbage, but less often because the tourists feed the cows and dogs a little bit. This causes the garbage to pile uip along side the roads.

Something is almost always burning in this country. Not a day goes by that I don't smell something burning in the air. My nostrils have grown accustomed to it. There are so many thoughts that are going on in my mind at any given point in this country that it makes it nearly impossible to express even a fraction of it in my blogs. India is amazing in ways that is quite difficult for most westerners to see. Yet, the people do smile more often and the stuggle makes them feel alive. People India don't seem to suffer from boredom. Rarely do people in India have the privilege of boredom. India has inspired me in many different ways and has formed a greater resolve to accomplish certain goals. I was recently learning of the corruption of the cops in Goa and I became outraged for a moment. Making tourists in cars pay 900 rupee bribes. Then I remember how corrupt my own country was and it was just yesterday that someone stole some election and everything returned to business as normal. In 1st world countries politicians skim off the top and in 3rd world countries they just take the top. The gap in the United States between rich and poor is widening, but it still has not reached the point that it has in India.

Amazing when you think so few people control so many resources. You might know someone that you think has acquired a bit of money, but really they have less then pencil shavings unless you know one of these billionaires. WHere does all this money go? What are they waiting for? WHy don't we help more people? People's minds make people from separate from each other and therefore they think they are superior or poorer people thousands of miles away is not something that they are forced to think about. Sally Struthers is somebody elses mother and the people on television don't look like them and they don't speak english. Only if they had a lighter complexion and spoke English then perhaps more would be done.

I know that people are starting to wake up to the absurdity of the world and we are not powerless. We can effect change and there are more and more organizations doing just that. We can be part of the solution and we don't ever have to be bored unless we really want to be bored. THere is always people somewhere that could use your help. The best way to get over your own suffering is top help someone else with their suffering especially when there suffering is much more severe.

I bought Jewelry

I bought some Jewelry from a man from Kashmir in Goa. This is something that I never would have done in the past , but somehow I couldn't resist and I don't like to be overly dogmatic about anything in life. I even have a ring on my finger. It is wonderful in life to break from patterns. Everyone here is always trying to sell me something. It can be quite intense at times. If you have ever wondered what being a celebrity might feel like come to Goa. So many people will approach and one of the best lines they will use is "Remember Me". I have been hanging out with my go buddy Stephon I know him from Shelter Island. He was raised in Kentucky and we met on Sunset beach Shelter Island and then we ran into each other naerby a place called Sunset in Anjuna, Goa.

I have been learning a great deal of things while being in India. Firmly saying no is something that I am perfecting at times it is a little harsh, but you will be approached by over a hundred people everyday at least and sometimes more. You can not afford to hesitate or be indecisive in anyway. I understand the value of good schools and good sanitation. I hope to give my garbage man a hug or at least a handshake and maybe some sandwich. Garbage is everywhere and it is either eaten by the cows or dogs or it piles up until someone decides to burn it. The idea of perserving the environment is a very foreign concept here in Goa. THey are following the example that we set many years ago during out major industrial revolution

The people here are in such a different world then us. We are sort of bizarre aliens that walk among them. THey are amazingly fascinated by my height and will constantly ask me how talll or what length I have. This is another way of saying how tall. They also get very excited about where I am from and what is my height and then the conversation will come to an abrupt end.

I do love here it quite alot because it gives me a great deal of time to think all sorts of things that I want to be focusing on with my time. I have thought of many of my friends and many people that I have met along the way. I want to send everyone my warmest and will see you soon.

much love and relaxation,
Te'DeVan

Are you strong enough to be My man

Love the song and having been thinking alot about the sentiment. I Keeping hearing it all over Goa. When you travel there are certain songs that keep popping up and this is one of them for me. I want to be at that point. There are so many pitfalls that I have fallen into before in my previous relationships and I don't want to do that anymore. It is unnecessary suffering for both me and the woman. There were quite a few times that both of us might have been better off if I just loved them and did not give into them physically. In those cases I was not strong enough to be their man.

Sometimes to be strong enough to be their man you have to be willing to walk away when they want you to give them something that will truly hurt both of you. We constantly confuse love and sex and I want sex, but I want it to be deeply enmeshed in love otherwise it doesn't fill me the way I want to be filled. My heart is dictating more and more of my actions. I am just trying to be honest even if it sounds insane, corny or cliche. If it isn't love then what is the point of it? I am sure a bunch of people could say numerous things but not one of them would truly make my heart feel any better. I have always wanted my sex to be strongly intertwined with love. The culture feels intimacy. People are less likely to put on condoms then open up their heart fully. There is always this protecting of the heart even though it really it is the most powerful thing that we have.

Che once made a quote that a truly great revolutionary is moved by waves of love. I am paraphrasing, but he was dead on. In the west we are often sleep walking because we have created a society that is sterilized and people only see most brutal things on television. There are people that see this brutality in the United States. Just go down to certain parts of New Orleans, but it is far more common in what we call third world countries. Jimmy Carter said the country was in a "Malaise" and they crucified him for it, but there is the malaise of most people having everything they need, but not knowing what they want. Come to India/CHina/Mexico/Brazil/Africa and many other places and then you can see struggle and
realize that having clean drinking water and people that come to pick up the garbage is a huge luxury.

There is so much in the West we will not understand in our bubble world. Some of us decide to leave the bubble and come back to break the bubble which harms us more then it protects us. Americans need to get out there and see what is going and talk to other sorts of people. We need to take on a different role. Many in the world view as war mongers. Lets be seen as peace keepers and be the ones to bring the food and the medicine and education to the masses of children that will never be given this chance.

I hope in my heart to be strong enough to be this man. When I return to the west it is easy to forget then struggle when it is not in front of your eyes, but it burns in my heart and imprint has been made and that can not be forgotten no matter how much advertising and propaganda that I see. As I sit here writing I keep blaring in my head "Are you strong enough to be my man" "when I am throwing punches in the air". I change some of the lyrics but the feeling is there and pulsates intensively. Are you strong enough to be that man or woman. I know you are now you must know. Not me you. You need to see it and I need to see it but we have to "stop children what's that sound everyone look whats going down"

No more wool over the eyes besides its itchy and I am tired of crying.

So Much to express about my expereince here. I have traveled only a little bit in terms of physical geography in India. I do not feel a desire to rush around and see all the sites. Instead I am taking my time and taking in the more Southern Parts of India. I have been To Goa, Bangalore, and Sai Baba's Ashram which is three hours North of Bangalore. Perhaps I shall remain in Goa and maybe I will check one or two more spots. I appreciate so many things about the United States everytime I leave, but one of the biggest is sanitation. We can still make great strides in our own country towards perserving our environment, but in India they are still racing to catch up to become developed and the environment is not a priority.

Goa specifically Chapora where I am staying is a little bit of a dodgy part of town though I feel no sense of danger, but there are certainly a few shadows lurking and substance abuse is way for many of the toursits and quite a few locals. I am learning a great deal about the sort of space that I desire to create. I want to create a truly magical wonderful place where many people will come to live and many will pass thru. I do not want it to be tainted or clouded by substances. I want to create a place similar to the "Dharma Pad" I had encountered in Santa Cruz. I am lead to believe that this place will manifest in Astoria Queens. I have been feeling quite a pull there as of late.

Life changes rapidly and people really let their guard down in the most wonderful ways when they are traveling. Traveling alone may seem sad at first, but it is truly remarkable. Most of my last five years has consisted of this sort of traveling and when I do have a companion it is quite natural and wonderful and never forced. I miss all of you so much and desire to visit you all at once when I return. I will be coming into San Fran April 3rd and be guided by the flow. Though I will be back in NYC shortly afterwards and starting to build a home base or "dharma Pad" if you will. I have many ideas and things that I want to do, but the base must be made first before the buses can roll as smoothly as possible.
much love and compassion,
Te'DeVan