This is a really interesting part of life that encourages people to project tremendous amounts of emotions and feelings on someone that they just met. Somehow this person is going to replace this other person that they remind you of. Maybe the other passed away or maybe you don't talk to them anymore, but this person came along and they totally remind you of your former love, friend, brother, sister, etc....
So many of our feelings are caused by the association we have with something and have very little to do with who this person is in your life. Last night I had an intensive conversation with a girl about how I didn't want to have sex unless I was in love and she told me that she has hard time having sex when emotions are involved. We found ourselves in a bit of a standstill. I figured that this whole "No Sex" made me intriguing and quite odd. I am sure that "no sex" could actually become a more ambitious guys way of getting laid. Fortunately or unfortunately I actually mean or at least in this present moment. I can honestly say I want a girlfriend it has been 4 years and I am reaching a point of not ever wanting my sex to be detached from emotions.
Emotions are actually my favorite part of sex and maybe I am an emotional junkie, but if they can't bring me to tears with their heart then I don't want it. Thru my mediation I have become more sensitive and of course I still yearn for sex at times, but I yearn for a different type of sex. Last night was an interesting reminder of that fact. On some funny level I found that my being unavailable to a girl who was emotionally not connected to her feelings greatly increased her interest in me.
Of course there is part of me that thinks I am merely insane and that I should push away this whole crazy idea of only having sex when I am in love. It says "Maybe you want fall in love"or "Maybe you won't fall in love with someone who loves you back". This of course might cause fear and then cause a person to settle. I have my goal and I am not settling and to increase my will power I have recently started a 5 day fast. It is a fast on many levels and it will help to stay more focused and be less distracted.