TraveL Report About Goa

ANjuna is a wonderful spot where conversations with all sorts of people abound. If you are person that loves great food and prefers your food organic then why did you come to Goa? It is okay because the Blue Tao will take care of all of your needs including wheat grass and spirulana. The heart of the matter is for those looking to meet a girl or guy here for possible rendevzous and escapades. I would recommend the restuarants as well as the beaches. Do not be shy in Goa. THere is always some sort of trance party going on here. You can get a room in Vagator for as cheap as hundred ruppes. Baragain for everything here and remember you are not just closing a deal here you are making your friends at the same time.

There is a magic in the air and it is Bunring Man meets Key West. If Burning Man had it a beach it would be GOa. THE goans are quite a bit different then Indians. THey do not view themselves as being Indian they are GOan. DO the same. You will meet Indians on holiday from Bombay and other places around India. THey love to take pictures of you especially on beaches such as Vagator. Want to know what its like to be famous for no reason come to Vagator beach. You will be in countless photo albums. FOr those eanting some spiritual healng and maybe in search of a miracle. There is a man here named Patrick and he has got the gift say many people that have experienced his magic first hand. Bad knees, cancer patients and all sorts of diseases. Get there early in peak season he will see a hundred a day. Most visits are quite brief but still of great benefit. THere is a presence to experience even if you think that you are well. Goa has an edge to it and a bit of recklessness about it and button down people open up all or at least quite a few of their buttons or they just run around naked screaming at some trance party. Baga is a bit pricey un comparison to the rest of Goa and is wonderful to meet the tourist sorts of types from England and there is a bit of a clubby vibe at night time. You want to have a girl though to get into these places it makes it easeir. 600 ruppees and all you can drink all night long. Yet the drinks are bit a weak according to most people, but for the light weights that like that scene check it out. Goa is a place to get wasted and get enlightened quite a bit. Charles DIckens would love this place.

I am still provessing quite a bit

Everyo moment here keeps me constantly on my toes and challenges me to think about everything. I have been rethinking how romantic love is wonderful there is something much greater then that feeling. Romantic love turns quicker then milk on hot day in India. I only wish to be able to express just a small fraction of this experience. When I get back people will constantly ask me about this trip. I will save the stories as they appear to be of value in a given moment otherwise I will post them on the blog. THere are alot of little things here that sound very small, but have been etched in your mind forever. I have allowed quite a few birds to fly away even though I showed in interest in their feathers I found that I was more focused on the heart these days. I still look at the feathers, but my heart longs for the flying more then anything.

I have been purging myself of things that are not useful and continue to learn how to be more resourceful. I met a man here that fell in love and then lost his love in a most unexpected way. It broke my heart and gave me tremendous hope at the same time. The love we experience will last us a life time. Be open to it and India or whatever version of India can be everywhere. I have recently been asked to write about these experiences for a travel publication. THis is most forray into this field, but I guess it has been a long time coming. I desire to make the information useful, but I want it to tug at people's hearts and not just be information. Information misleads and your heart never will.

When you choose to do business here you are also choosing your friends. So choose wisely. The cheapest ones are not always the best ones. Look at their eyes more then their smiles. Many people can smile before they attack. I love being on the buses here. THe intense sweating brings me great joy and makes me feel very connected the culture. The fact the buses want your business so badly is alos quite beautiful. Keep being your voyage whatever it maybe and just make sure that it is giving your heart satisfaction.

Before You Come to India Learn Russian

Being India I have only one major regret. I wish that I had learned the Russian language I could also say German, but most of the Germans know how to speak English while the Russians usually just know a choice phrases such as "You like Trance Music", "We are having a trance Party", and "Do you want a drink?". I seriously would have had a few possible Russian romances at this point, but I have no regrets about it. Language certainly plays a factor in our interactions, but it is quite fun to have a bit of physical attraction and not have any small talk because they can't speak your language. I just do my best to let the energy speak on my behalf.

A really great show would be putting my on dates with women who don't speak english and watching them trying to figure out what they hell I am doing. Most of the time I don't even know I just let it happen. I also had an odd epiphany which is somehow it is easier to just have sex with a girl instead of asking if you can hold her hand. Holding someone's hand can be alot more intimate then sex. Not that I comparing handing holding to sex, but somehow people skip over to many steps and shaking hands has become sex and sex has become hugging. I am not sure if that makes any sense, but it just seems to ring true in my observations of people's fear of actual emotions. The moral of the story is that learning Russian is great, but learning love is probably alot better.

Two Pieces of Chocolate Cake for A Day's Work

I am in Goa, India for those of you who did not know. And they say it is not India, but I have also heard that Key West is not the United States. People always want to tell you what something is or isn't. Goa has a much greater portugese and catholic influence then the rest of India. It was founded by the Portugese back in the day and you will find quite a few beautiful cathedrals here in Goa. A day laborer in India will make about hundred rupees a day. This will translate to about a little more then two American dollars or in my case two pieces of a cake called "cholocate Malibu almond" cake. In the states I would not eat such thing in most cases and would instead opt for an amazing vegan desert. Needless to say I have abandoned that sort of thinking in India. I will be basically in short period of times consume a day's wages for one man at one brief sittting.

Our concetps of poverty are very different then a 3rd world countries conept of poverty. In many cases people here are working for what they need and not working for luxuries though that is starting to change as India is making "progress". There are over 30 billionaires in India according to Forbes magazine and their total net value is 191 billion. Yet, even in Goa a busy tourist town the cows and dogs still act as the garbage men. THey eat the garbage, but less often because the tourists feed the cows and dogs a little bit. This causes the garbage to pile uip along side the roads.

Something is almost always burning in this country. Not a day goes by that I don't smell something burning in the air. My nostrils have grown accustomed to it. There are so many thoughts that are going on in my mind at any given point in this country that it makes it nearly impossible to express even a fraction of it in my blogs. India is amazing in ways that is quite difficult for most westerners to see. Yet, the people do smile more often and the stuggle makes them feel alive. People India don't seem to suffer from boredom. Rarely do people in India have the privilege of boredom. India has inspired me in many different ways and has formed a greater resolve to accomplish certain goals. I was recently learning of the corruption of the cops in Goa and I became outraged for a moment. Making tourists in cars pay 900 rupee bribes. Then I remember how corrupt my own country was and it was just yesterday that someone stole some election and everything returned to business as normal. In 1st world countries politicians skim off the top and in 3rd world countries they just take the top. The gap in the United States between rich and poor is widening, but it still has not reached the point that it has in India.

Amazing when you think so few people control so many resources. You might know someone that you think has acquired a bit of money, but really they have less then pencil shavings unless you know one of these billionaires. WHere does all this money go? What are they waiting for? WHy don't we help more people? People's minds make people from separate from each other and therefore they think they are superior or poorer people thousands of miles away is not something that they are forced to think about. Sally Struthers is somebody elses mother and the people on television don't look like them and they don't speak english. Only if they had a lighter complexion and spoke English then perhaps more would be done.

I know that people are starting to wake up to the absurdity of the world and we are not powerless. We can effect change and there are more and more organizations doing just that. We can be part of the solution and we don't ever have to be bored unless we really want to be bored. THere is always people somewhere that could use your help. The best way to get over your own suffering is top help someone else with their suffering especially when there suffering is much more severe.

I bought Jewelry

I bought some Jewelry from a man from Kashmir in Goa. This is something that I never would have done in the past , but somehow I couldn't resist and I don't like to be overly dogmatic about anything in life. I even have a ring on my finger. It is wonderful in life to break from patterns. Everyone here is always trying to sell me something. It can be quite intense at times. If you have ever wondered what being a celebrity might feel like come to Goa. So many people will approach and one of the best lines they will use is "Remember Me". I have been hanging out with my go buddy Stephon I know him from Shelter Island. He was raised in Kentucky and we met on Sunset beach Shelter Island and then we ran into each other naerby a place called Sunset in Anjuna, Goa.

I have been learning a great deal of things while being in India. Firmly saying no is something that I am perfecting at times it is a little harsh, but you will be approached by over a hundred people everyday at least and sometimes more. You can not afford to hesitate or be indecisive in anyway. I understand the value of good schools and good sanitation. I hope to give my garbage man a hug or at least a handshake and maybe some sandwich. Garbage is everywhere and it is either eaten by the cows or dogs or it piles up until someone decides to burn it. The idea of perserving the environment is a very foreign concept here in Goa. THey are following the example that we set many years ago during out major industrial revolution

The people here are in such a different world then us. We are sort of bizarre aliens that walk among them. THey are amazingly fascinated by my height and will constantly ask me how talll or what length I have. This is another way of saying how tall. They also get very excited about where I am from and what is my height and then the conversation will come to an abrupt end.

I do love here it quite alot because it gives me a great deal of time to think all sorts of things that I want to be focusing on with my time. I have thought of many of my friends and many people that I have met along the way. I want to send everyone my warmest and will see you soon.

much love and relaxation,
Te'DeVan

Are you strong enough to be My man

Love the song and having been thinking alot about the sentiment. I Keeping hearing it all over Goa. When you travel there are certain songs that keep popping up and this is one of them for me. I want to be at that point. There are so many pitfalls that I have fallen into before in my previous relationships and I don't want to do that anymore. It is unnecessary suffering for both me and the woman. There were quite a few times that both of us might have been better off if I just loved them and did not give into them physically. In those cases I was not strong enough to be their man.

Sometimes to be strong enough to be their man you have to be willing to walk away when they want you to give them something that will truly hurt both of you. We constantly confuse love and sex and I want sex, but I want it to be deeply enmeshed in love otherwise it doesn't fill me the way I want to be filled. My heart is dictating more and more of my actions. I am just trying to be honest even if it sounds insane, corny or cliche. If it isn't love then what is the point of it? I am sure a bunch of people could say numerous things but not one of them would truly make my heart feel any better. I have always wanted my sex to be strongly intertwined with love. The culture feels intimacy. People are less likely to put on condoms then open up their heart fully. There is always this protecting of the heart even though it really it is the most powerful thing that we have.

Che once made a quote that a truly great revolutionary is moved by waves of love. I am paraphrasing, but he was dead on. In the west we are often sleep walking because we have created a society that is sterilized and people only see most brutal things on television. There are people that see this brutality in the United States. Just go down to certain parts of New Orleans, but it is far more common in what we call third world countries. Jimmy Carter said the country was in a "Malaise" and they crucified him for it, but there is the malaise of most people having everything they need, but not knowing what they want. Come to India/CHina/Mexico/Brazil/Africa and many other places and then you can see struggle and
realize that having clean drinking water and people that come to pick up the garbage is a huge luxury.

There is so much in the West we will not understand in our bubble world. Some of us decide to leave the bubble and come back to break the bubble which harms us more then it protects us. Americans need to get out there and see what is going and talk to other sorts of people. We need to take on a different role. Many in the world view as war mongers. Lets be seen as peace keepers and be the ones to bring the food and the medicine and education to the masses of children that will never be given this chance.

I hope in my heart to be strong enough to be this man. When I return to the west it is easy to forget then struggle when it is not in front of your eyes, but it burns in my heart and imprint has been made and that can not be forgotten no matter how much advertising and propaganda that I see. As I sit here writing I keep blaring in my head "Are you strong enough to be my man" "when I am throwing punches in the air". I change some of the lyrics but the feeling is there and pulsates intensively. Are you strong enough to be that man or woman. I know you are now you must know. Not me you. You need to see it and I need to see it but we have to "stop children what's that sound everyone look whats going down"

No more wool over the eyes besides its itchy and I am tired of crying.

So Much to express about my expereince here. I have traveled only a little bit in terms of physical geography in India. I do not feel a desire to rush around and see all the sites. Instead I am taking my time and taking in the more Southern Parts of India. I have been To Goa, Bangalore, and Sai Baba's Ashram which is three hours North of Bangalore. Perhaps I shall remain in Goa and maybe I will check one or two more spots. I appreciate so many things about the United States everytime I leave, but one of the biggest is sanitation. We can still make great strides in our own country towards perserving our environment, but in India they are still racing to catch up to become developed and the environment is not a priority.

Goa specifically Chapora where I am staying is a little bit of a dodgy part of town though I feel no sense of danger, but there are certainly a few shadows lurking and substance abuse is way for many of the toursits and quite a few locals. I am learning a great deal about the sort of space that I desire to create. I want to create a truly magical wonderful place where many people will come to live and many will pass thru. I do not want it to be tainted or clouded by substances. I want to create a place similar to the "Dharma Pad" I had encountered in Santa Cruz. I am lead to believe that this place will manifest in Astoria Queens. I have been feeling quite a pull there as of late.

Life changes rapidly and people really let their guard down in the most wonderful ways when they are traveling. Traveling alone may seem sad at first, but it is truly remarkable. Most of my last five years has consisted of this sort of traveling and when I do have a companion it is quite natural and wonderful and never forced. I miss all of you so much and desire to visit you all at once when I return. I will be coming into San Fran April 3rd and be guided by the flow. Though I will be back in NYC shortly afterwards and starting to build a home base or "dharma Pad" if you will. I have many ideas and things that I want to do, but the base must be made first before the buses can roll as smoothly as possible.
much love and compassion,
Te'DeVan

You Have Not Seen Begging

In India the begging is intense and quite often most of the money you give will actually do harm. It is actually against the law to give to beggars, but the same is true in the United States, but I have yet to see someone stopping a toruist from giving money. My "avorite hustle"that I have seen is called Baby's Milk. This involves a little child or a woman with a child convincing you that the baby needs milk. Anyone with any sense of compassion would immediately walk over to the drug store and buy them their Nestle's baby's milk. I was in the process of doing just that and then I thought. Why would anyone want this crappy skim powdered milk? She looks reasonablely healthy why doesn't she just give the child her breast milk. Something did not seem quite right and I pulled away and bought them a bag of rice instead.

Basically what happens is that they keep reselling the same Baby's milk and they get paid by the store to guilt you into buying Baby's milk. In some cases the only two words of english they know is Baby's milk and in certain places the beggars make more money then the workers. India has an intense street grift and everyone has something to sell you around every corner. Being a person that does not desire more possessions I did get convinced to buy one flute and the salesman actually had reasonable musical talent though buying the flute did not seem to mean I would possess his talent as well. But even the sales people here beg and plead with you to buy there stuff in way that I have never seen. Take the most incessant and desperate beggar and that is par for the course when it comes to begging in India. Yet India is not a country of beggars, but when they do beg it can be a bit overwhelming at times. It is much worse in large cities. I hAVE NOT been to the country though Goa is my next stop on this adventure. Miss you guys much. I was thinking of a Jay-Z song "i'm a hustler baby" and Baby's milk is certainly my "favorite" hustle that I have seen though there is one hustle around every corner. In many cases this money will go towards things that do not benefit the family or towards helping the men get drunk. I am learning about things first hand which is one of the best ways to learn and it will force you to see the Heaven and Hell. One does not exist without the other.

You Have Not Seen Begging

In India the begging is intense and quite often most of the money you give will actually do harm. It is actually against the law to give to beggars, but the same is true in the United States, but I have yet to see someone stopping a toruist from giving money. My "avorite hustle"that I have seen is called Baby's Milk. This involves a little child or a woman with a child convincing you that the baby needs milk. Anyone with any sense of compassion would immediately walk over to the drug store and buy them their Nestle's baby's milk. I was in the process of doing just that and then I thought. Why would anyone want this crappy skim powdered milk? She looks reasonablely healthy why doesn't she just give the child her breast milk. Something did not seem quite right and I pulled away and bought them a bag of rice instead.

Basically what happens is that they keep reselling the same Baby's milk and they get paid by the store to guilt you into buying Baby's milk. In some cases the only two words of english they know is Baby's milk and in certain places the beggars make more money then the workers. India has an intense street grift and everyone has something to sell you around every corner. Being a person that does not desire more possessions I did get convinced to buy one flute and the salesman actually had reasonable musical talent though buying the flute did not seem to mean I would possess his talent as well. But even the sales people here beg and plead with you to buy there stuff in way that I have never seen. Take the most incessant and desperate beggar and that is par for the course when it comes to begging in India. Yet India is not a country of beggars, but when they do beg it can be a bit overwhelming at times. It is much worse in large cities. I hAVE NOT been to the country though Goa is my next stop on this adventure. Miss you guys much. I was thinking of a Jay-Z song "i'm a hustler baby" and Baby's milk is certainly my "favorite" hustle that I have seen though there is one hustle around every corner. In many cases this money will go towards things that do not benefit the family or towards helping the men get drunk. I am learning about things first hand which is one of the best ways to learn and it will force you to see the Heaven and Hell. One does not exist without the other.

Sai Baba's Temple

I walked away from the place emotionally moved by quite a few extraordinary individuals. I was also a bit befuddled by a few things that mind can quite grasp, but ulitmately there is nothing to get in life which is sort of the cosmic joke of it all. I come to understand this a bit more, but mostly I just want to create moments that bring joy into many peoples lives. I want to keep my life simple but always evolving and expanding. My time India has been greatly expanding my mind and my thoughts to different levels. I feel like coming to is a giant acid trip that takes place as soon as you walk out of the airport.

I am discovering the only thing of value is love though we say that so much, but we can't seem to grasp it because love does not come in a tiffany's box. It is always around us and inside of us as well, but we are blocking the very essence of life because we are scared to live. We want to be self contained and separate and never be hurt. That is not lving. The ego disspiates and we get closer to the essence that must simply be felt. Allow that feeling to come into you and it will heal anything that ails you. You don't need someone to make you better you have decide that you want to be better and be prepared to accept changes that will go along with that.

Life is always changing and our mind is usually resisting or trying to change in all of the ways that don't matter. Change ciomes from within is something that we have heard so many times, but one day you actually start to understand that and then you stop scurrying around like a mouse chasing cheese and realize you can make your own chesse and you have all that you desire. Then an amazing feeling comes forth from your being. People sense this and they offer you all of their cheese. Though at this point you no longer need their cheese and you give their cheese to other people who don't have cheese. I don't sleep much anymore. I am not upset or happy about it. I merely am accepting this fact. I look forward to Goa but I also look forward to my friends knowing that I am processing quite a few things and sitting and walking in great deals of silence. I focus on Ganesha's feet and I have had some experiences that had me crying in the most serene and majestic way. We hold back all the time because we learn to imitate all of the people around us who are holding back.

Coming here to India for me is about not holding back and surrendering to that feeling that have inside of me at all times. To stop questioning my intution. I had a feeling I would meet someone on the plane and they would play a role in my journey and for a brief moment I doubted myself. The stewardness then changed my seat and I met a women who allowed me to travel in her taxi with her to Sai Baba's Ashram. I arrived in on Feburary 16th which is one of the most hectic days of the year. First night I slept outside on the grass with a whole bunch of Indian people around me on all sides. I felt neither separate nor different merely someone who came to expereince something that would perhaps bring me closer to God.

God is inside of us but certain moments help to trigger that. It is as if God constantly pokes us with a stick so that our own God essence will pour back into the source. I am tired but still I am filling my cup with love. I have no anwsers just more questions to ponder and a focus that will lead more rapidly towards my destiny. Is it written or do we write it? I don't know really know I think there is somehow no difference and it is a little bit of both and nothing at all. That certainly might not make sense to a rational mind, but it makes perfect sense to the infinite mind of God. God understands all crazy people though not all crazy people understand God. What is any of this. Am I actually here in India or is it merely another dream. Stop doing acid people and just save up for a ticket to India. Ram Das came here to find the "Real Acid". I suggest you do the same if the mundane is not enough for you. WHo are you and does the feeling of omnipresence something you have comtemplated in deep silence.

News From India

Yes it truly is the land of great extremes. Kindness and treachery are so very close at hand in this land. Make sure that you are ready for almost anything and just be able to adjust to it. Don't lose sight of the moment or the consequences can be somewhat immediate. Their ways are not your ways and this may seem obvious, but only thru experience will you come to understand this. It is land known for its enlightened men & women. They still can be found here today. The things you most want to hear and the things that will benefit you the most are not always the same thing.

I have quite a wonderful and emotional time here and have gone from the ashram of Sai Baba's to slightly outside the madness of Bangalore. They are things that they do here better then we do back at home and there are things that we do better back home. Forging the middle path will benefit both of us greatly. I am learning alot spiritually, politically, and socially. Hustlers are everywhere. Just remember if someone comes up to you and you get any vibe that it less then desireable get away from them. You must be careful here, but you can still have so much great fun and memories that will last you for lifetimes to come. I know that this blog has an element of seriousness, but this is a very different world. It is almost like falling into the Bermuda triangle.

The Impossible Boy Becomes His Impossible Dream

I go back to India and that is truly how my heart feels. I have been held in the bosom of that place so many times before. I have meditated and felt endless serenity. I have known miracles that most minds in the Western World refuse to accept because it would unhinge their entire belief system. I am going to the outer reaches of world that is within our grasp, but we fail to reach for out of fear being hurt. I reach for all those who desire to reach, but have not quite found that courage to start reaching. I am going to a place where time stopped. Many times during an intense healing there is a vacuum sound created by my breathe and the feeling that time has indeed stopped. I want to be deep in that stillness and silence. I want to have miracles become common place, but still retain a great appreciation for their symbolism. We are all striving for something and most of us will discover that many of our yearnings once met will not actually give us that satisfaction that we have hoped they would. I am in the process of undergoing an awakening that will not allow me to live as I lived before. Many if not all of my actions will be rendered useless and I will find new actions which meet my greater understanding of myself and my place in the world. TO find your BLiss is something that nobody can take away from you. We are all on our missions and somewhere in the center it all merges. We are all the center of this change. It is one change here or there that changes all that we have come to know. I am better off today because I have better understanding of what matters. We breathe deep and then we let the pain slip out through the breath. We don't need to hold on to anything because we have a new moment to experience everything as we desire. We don't have to hold anyone to any expectations. Instead we just need to be present and be the watcher and with our peacefulness our mere watching will effect the outcome.

ON the surface everything is so different, but this is the world of illusion. The illusion is that we are afraid of terrorists and they are afraid of us. UNDERNEATH there is a root to all fear. Desire of losing leads to fear. As we allow ourselves not to impose our ways upon others we will find that they are more agreeable to our ways. All is alien and all is quite familiar. Perhaps I have seen you in your greatest moment of truth. We are finding that true romance is not a fairy tale, but an on-going reality. Feel your hands your feet and all of your body bit by bit and now know that hardly even begins to tell the story. You are a soul and unique one at that. Allow that uniqueness to shine and allow a balance to be struck that brings you absolute joy.

I want a Poem

I get caught up in the essence of things and don't always express in a way the exudes poetic beauty. In some moments I find that I refuse to read poetry and view it as a waste of time. I don't want to decipher anything at all. I want to be told what things are, but things are not clear. The most poetic people are probably those that despise poetry the most. Maybe they worry they will never understand the poem they are reading or understand anything about life. I have been right about a few things in life and cling to that with tremendous pride. I have been wrong about most things and hold a subtle secret shame. Nothing is something and something is nothing is pretty much synopsis of every profound poem and though I could say it I am not sure that truly understood the sentiment. I am not sure that I understand the sentiment now. My roommate was a tow truck driver though I think he called it something else. He is in the US air force and I am some sort of modern day hippie. I am trying to stop war and he is also trying to stop war. Both of us go about this mission in the only way we know how. He of (Indian Descent) heads to the middle east and I of (Eastern European Jewish Descent) head to India. Both of us have our own missions and both of us have our own ways. Both of us shared a bunk bed and went to the University of Michigan. Both of us had a sister and did not think all that much of college as an institution. We both had plans that were different then most of the other people in college and both of us have followed thru. Both of us are loved by some and despised by others. Both of us have had our successes and failures with the opposite sex. Both of us have an ability to make people laugh on purpose and completely by accident. Me and my old college roommate aren't really all that different despite what anyone says and neither are the people he is being sent to Protect/Destroy depending on your perspective. I want to take this moment and focus on what is similar. Me and my old roommate are just two misfits trying to find our way in this world with our various talents and making choices based on our experiences. Here is my poem. I wanted a poem and now a poem has manifested.

A moment of Lucidity

I have these moments where I start to see things much more clearly. It as if I have contacts in my eyes, but I don't remember putting them in. Everything makes so much sense and very easily get at the root of the reasons why people do the things that they do. I understand the reason that I keep doing certain things that are not of the greatest benefit to me. The Phrase I am letting go implies to myself that I have not actually let go and don't want to let go. Everything has a way of revealing itself to us when we are ready to listen. Often we will find that we don't want to listen and we press an invisible mute button. Being ignorant is easy and being enlightened is also easy the challenge is being somewhere in between. Once, your ignorance is disturbed it no longer holds the same allure. You can keep doing it anyway and most people will choose to do that, but it does not give you the same amount of joy. I am not who I once was, but I am exactly am as I have always been pretty much sums up how I feel currently. I continue to realize new things which are really old things and something of these realizations cause me to live my life differently. Some of these observations are viewed as interesting and shelved into I am ready to delve into them. The quicker you adapt to new situations the easier your life will become. I want to make my life easier instead of butting my head against the proverbial brick wall.

A letter to A Friend

That whole poem was stunning my friend. I keep thinking about a vision you once had involving buses or vans of sorts and a whole bunch of traveling and it is starting to manifest before my very eyes. You spoke prophecy to me once and one day you will speak prophecy to many. I often think about how I got to the point I currently existing in. How do all these dots connect? I have met so many people at so many different moments. I have learned to listen more carefully in the silence and learned that silence is a friend that few are willing to make unless the pain becomes too great. I was just a boy with a sign and one day soon I will have a son that will carry the torch. Not this year, but the following one my son shall come into a physical manifestation. I can feel him at times. I am allowing my identity to melt away and just Be. Understated is overstated and overstated can be understated and nothing is actually overrated accept maybe the word overrated.
I don't feel that I walk alone and just allow myself to quietly hold a space so that the most powerful of spirits can flow thru me. My past lifes continue to awaken and underneath me in San Fran/Santa Cruz the earth is shaking. I have known many times in many different forms and I will appear in places unexpected as we all get closer to the truth of finding love and acceptance in the formless.

Understanding Celebrity

It is a phenomeon that plays such a large role in our culture and how we perceive the world around us. They hold more influence over the American people then our own government. We have finally reached a point in our society in which anybody that has enough resources or is eccentric enough can become a celebrity. Celebrity by itself is kind of worthless other then fanning and feeding ego and giving people something superficial to worship, but they also have an ability to influence large amounts of people. Imagine if most celebrities were consumed with inner peace and global issues instead of the numerous other distractions that are the focus for most celebrities. It is not a coincidence that actors, musicians, and athletes fair quite well when they run for political office. Name Brand and familiar people have an ability to reach a much larger audience. There are various degrees of celebrity and many times some of the best people shy away from the spotlight and these people have some really great messages to share with American public.

Anyone of us can become a celebrity. It can be done virtually overnight with the age that we live in these days. We have the power to tell celebrities what we want them to down. This may sound absurd, but they are influenced by having the approval of the masses. I still firmly believe that if public demand was large enough Paris Hilton would become a great philanthropist if that is what the public wanted to see her do.

Mine as well face it your addicted to Blogging

It is true I am either writing a blog these days or thinking about writing a blog these days. There is an overwhelming force that commences to sit down and stick my head real close to the point that I might actually merge with the screen and form one identity. Yet, It makes sense because I want to grab you out of your seat and lit fire that coarses thru your whole entire being. I want to help put every cell on fire. I want you to be overwhelemed to do whatever it is that you have been dreaming about doing. For me it involves vegetable oil buses, a presidential race, couchsurfing, and a total media circus with Smiley playing ring master and me sitting somewhere off to the side meditating and giving speeches as they are needed. I know that this will take place. Each day I can feel the stage being set. I am actually in the process of putting a treatment together and getting in the Hands of Mark Burnett. Papa Neutrino one of the great american adventurers of the last hundred years is calling in all his favors. We will make this fly and it will rock this country so fcuking hard (Yeah like those overpriced french connection shirts). We will all collectively rock this country. This ain't no bullshit rock the vote because we are the power. The President is a public servant and he or she is here to serve us. Somehow it has changed and we have become their servants. I don't want any servants I am working on humility. It ain't always easy, but the white house seems like a great place to start. Let's see what a bunch of beautiful lunatics, outcasts, crazies, no shot in hell, you've got to be joking jokesters can pull off with some very focused intention. Papa Nuetrino the Secretary of transportation says "This campaign must happen". Did you hear me folks "This CAMPAIGN MUST HAPPEN". This is a call to absurdity to all the GONZO JOURNALISTS. This is for HUNTER S. THOMPSON, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, OSHO, and a whole bunch of people that have layed down the ground work. We are rebels and "I WANT TO HEAR YOUR REBEL YELL".

LET THIS BE A ECHO HEARD IN CYBERSPACE. LET FREEDOM RING DING A LING RING. KEEP THE HEADS BOBBING. I want to thank all of you that have been supporting this campaign. It is no longer time to watch it merely fall away. We must participate and not let things keep moving at the status-quo going rate. FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES WE HAVE OUR CAUSE. LET'S TAKE BACK THE WHITE HOUSE AND MAKE IT OUR HOUSE. TAKE IT BACK. STAND YOUR GROUND AND DON'T BACK DOWN unless they have bigger tanks. IN our case we have no tanks. But we have pens and our pens our mighty then the sword.

Another way to spell Greyhound Disfunciton

Yeah I spelled it wrong just casue it ssememe ffiting and I have an aaversion to seplling or maybe laziness. Maybe I am rebelling against my english teachers that marked me off when I was younger. When you get out of prison you get a free greyhound ticket. I am not saying this to scare or encourage you to take a greyhound. I am merely stating a fact. Take it how you will. Greyhounds are the same and they will do the same. Greyhounds gather alot of military personal, single mothers, Meth addicts, Drunks, Stoners, College students, Criminals, illegal immigrants, Evangelists, and anyone with a couple of dollars and dream to start over somewhere (greensboro North Carolina). In fact they are pretty much willing to get off the bus at your stop if you can offer them any opportunity. I feel that anyone running for president of the United States should take a 12 hour plus greyhound ride. You learn alot about the suffering and hope of the people of this nation. At times the bus drivers can seem a bit crazy, completely indifferent, or on a rare occassion a spiritual vegeterian (his name was Frank). All of these people are completely packed in tightly or spread sporadically throughout the bus depending on what time of day, year, and cities that you are traveling thru. Everyone of them has a story to tell and you'll hear their story whether you want to or not. And sometimes they don't speak, but still their story is written all over their face. I have seen it quite clearly with runaways and people just out of prison, but it still only tells part of their story. The face of humanity exists on a dog called a Greyhound known for speedily racing around the track. Only on extremely rare occasions are Greyhound buses speedy. I totally lose track of all the places that these buses of tragic nobility have taken me, but they have been a part of my journey. Nothing and I truly mean this is more American then greyhound. It tells a timeless American story. Craigslist has changed Greyhound's significance in my life, but still it is something that I hop on rare occassion with a feeling of both dread and excitement. Everytime you take a Greyhound I usually happily swear that it is my last greyhound and usually there is another one that is calling me to some other city and I can't resist the call of travel even if my best way of getting there is Greyhound.
IF Mark Twain was alive I am sure that he would have dedicated pages of Prose to the the Greyhound. So I dedicate this blog to Greyhound and America. God Bless America and God Bless the Greyhound.

At Any Moment Things Could Give Way....

Whatever it is that you have been working towards could give way at any moment, and you could find yourself living in the exact moment that you had been dreaming about for most of your life. Life has a beautifully peciluar timing that makes for the greatest movie you could ever imagine. We make movies in attempt to inimitate the greatest movie that we can ever have,called life. All of us are contributing in our ways to the storyline. We will find the success we have always been seeking in our career or love life. Break the old habits so that we can create the space for new things to come into our life.

I started writing this blog a little while ago and now I come back to it during the tail of the Sundance Film Festival in Park City Utah. I am revisiting a place that has always been quite magical for me personally, but also during an event that will bring out the worse in people. SO many people seem to lose sight of the mountains while they walk around attached their cell phones. Their careers/jobs are on the line. They feel that everything hangs on the one thing they are working towards. Life makes so much more sense when we step back. Now, LISTEN (I'M WORKING IT ALSO) to that phrase don't just view it as a cliche. Step back from this moment of chaos and view iN the CONTEXT of the ENTIRE world. We were not put on this planet to be fearful and scared, but that is a emotional response that so many people resort to in times of crisis.

I can say that I have certainly operated out of that mode of thinking before and never has it ever brought about a desired result. When things get challenging the worst thing to do is tense up. Like a shot thru the heart life will end qickly and we will all find ourselves on different realms and all of this will seem like a dream of sorts. I love my life, but I also understand that I am a soul having a human experience. The most I can do for my friends and the world around me is to find that peace inside of myself. Sometimes I want to reach out and almost force someone to feel the peace that I am feeling, but not everyone is ready to acknowledge their own peace that exists inside of themselves.

Take a step back and notice all the wonderful things that you have been given and gotten to experience on your journey. Allow yourself to show gratitude towards loved ones and just a complete stranger that could use just a smile. Remember everything that you have ever desired could take place at this very moment, but that event does not define you unless you allow it to define you. Life is an amazing series of moments and I want to thank all of the people that have been a part of those moments for me. Thank you for the numerous valuable lessons that you have helped to make me aware of in my 27 and half year life span.

Understanding the emotions in our Rain and Water

The rain comes down and all the dirt is washed away for a moment. In this moment, that is ever transparent we can see what awaits us right around that corner. We have all that emotion, but we choose to stay away from it most of the time. That emotion is the thing that scares us and also makes us feel most alive. We have all felt deeply and have all been cut, stabbed, and shot in the heart in one way or another. Each time it seems more intense then the last. It is a way of making us surrender and admit what we are feeling. To own your feelings is such a powerful thing and it will intimidate people because they run for something to numb their feelings any time they feel even the slightest stirring. We owe to ourselves not to repress how we are feeling. When I watch a great movie or television show I have moments where I see how our own lives seem so wonderfully scripted accept we don't know what is written on the next page. I get up every day in a feeling of quiet euphoria in regards to what is on the next page and who is about to enter into my life.

The world is truly a revolving stage and I do believe that we have known each other in so many different lives (loves) that when we meet there is this feeling of here we go again. People that dig at these emotions are some of the most valuable people in my life. We are all there for one another to help with a light fixture in each others play. Perhaps we gave someone a ride to go meet the one that he or she will marry or delayed them just long enough to save their lives. We are constantly involved in each other lives in ways that are extremely subtle but impactful. Never for a single solitary moment doubt that you are not changing this world just with your thoughts. Knowing that everything you touch in front of you was merely a thought at one point. Everything that you used today (and probably took for granted) was just a thought. How powerful can a thought be? I would say that a thought could have ramifications that could change the world. And if that thought is positive then share it with everyone you think is ready to listen. As we take in the silence, we can hear the sounds that are neglected. We can better understand nature and the order of things that goes beyond mere social dynamics.

There is an intricate design and we all feel it at times, but sometimes we feel a fear of admitting that we believe in it because we don't want to be wrong. I have been the fool many times in my life, but it has given me greater understanding of what I truly care about. I am hearing sirens in the background of the city which means someone is undergoing some sort of dramatic change in their life and I sit here mentioning it because all those things that most people pay little attention to start to add up and brings about the world that we live in. Everything has always been starring us in the face, but we refuse to face it because it would mean that we have to change our beliefs. The moment we truly confess that we know very little, is the same moment that we truly can begin to learn how to embrace the moment. To learn things that enrich our lives gives a greater sense of purpose and my greatest purpose is peace. And may I never get in my own way of knowing this ever magnificent peace. Allow it to radiate in every atom in body. May I become AWAKE. LET ME AWAKEN FROM MY SLUMBER. I won't to no longer dwell in delusion and mere intellectual speculation may I realize the diviness of acceptance that we envy in the animals that we call Pets (replace Pets with Teachers). May we all know greater wisdom and may the wisdom spread so that we can begin to address the mounting list of problems that we have been neglected because of our obcession with denying things in hopes that it will merely go away.

My Yearning to find greater awareness continues to intensify and it guides me in ways that feel as if a force moves thru me that directs me towards a greater love that I want to feel with every little skin tissue that makes up my body. May my sensitivity continue to grow and flow like the water that makes up most of our body.