Monday, February 12, 2007

The Impossible Boy Becomes His Impossible Dream

I go back to India and that is truly how my heart feels. I have been held in the bosom of that place so many times before. I have meditated and felt endless serenity. I have known miracles that most minds in the Western World refuse to accept because it would unhinge their entire belief system. I am going to the outer reaches of world that is within our grasp, but we fail to reach for out of fear being hurt. I reach for all those who desire to reach, but have not quite found that courage to start reaching. I am going to a place where time stopped. Many times during an intense healing there is a vacuum sound created by my breathe and the feeling that time has indeed stopped. I want to be deep in that stillness and silence. I want to have miracles become common place, but still retain a great appreciation for their symbolism. We are all striving for something and most of us will discover that many of our yearnings once met will not actually give us that satisfaction that we have hoped they would. I am in the process of undergoing an awakening that will not allow me to live as I lived before. Many if not all of my actions will be rendered useless and I will find new actions which meet my greater understanding of myself and my place in the world. TO find your BLiss is something that nobody can take away from you. We are all on our missions and somewhere in the center it all merges. We are all the center of this change. It is one change here or there that changes all that we have come to know. I am better off today because I have better understanding of what matters. We breathe deep and then we let the pain slip out through the breath. We don't need to hold on to anything because we have a new moment to experience everything as we desire. We don't have to hold anyone to any expectations. Instead we just need to be present and be the watcher and with our peacefulness our mere watching will effect the outcome.

ON the surface everything is so different, but this is the world of illusion. The illusion is that we are afraid of terrorists and they are afraid of us. UNDERNEATH there is a root to all fear. Desire of losing leads to fear. As we allow ourselves not to impose our ways upon others we will find that they are more agreeable to our ways. All is alien and all is quite familiar. Perhaps I have seen you in your greatest moment of truth. We are finding that true romance is not a fairy tale, but an on-going reality. Feel your hands your feet and all of your body bit by bit and now know that hardly even begins to tell the story. You are a soul and unique one at that. Allow that uniqueness to shine and allow a balance to be struck that brings you absolute joy.


dr john bender said...


I just got your text... have a Happy Valentine's Day and a safe and memorable trip to India. I hope that you find India's answer to Saumick Ghosh... what that would be, I have no fucking idea. Let's meet somewhere on the East Coast when you get back, no?

Your friend and admirer,
Dr John Bender

Stephanie said...

Safe travels, TeDeVan. - Stephanie (from SF)

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