Rfight Around the corner

As soon as you turn that corner anywhere in the world you never know whose world your going to collide with and how someone that you thought was out of the picture is coming back whether you are ready for it or not. John of God comes to upstate New York on October 1st and will be there for at least 4 days. This man will manifesting miracles of a intense physical magnitude. I am finding that this moment of now with rain outside as I sit in my buddy Jay's apartment in Brooklyn is the only moment that I can be present in right now. We are finding a deeper bliss and the ego slowly slips away because it never really existed and therefore can't ever have a hold on me. We are at at point and perhaps we have always been at a point. Every time period serves some sort of purpose.

Let the rain come and perhaps San Fran and Portland are paging and the flow always knows which way to go. If we could all stop and kiss and embrace a tree all of us would be free. We can all be once we set our minds free. I truly love Amma that beautiful hugging saint how she paints new colors onto your eyes of perception.

I know of politics but I know more of people and all of us are watching a world that can not continue to sustain itself if it keeps going in its current direction. Smile at someone today and do something that will just floor someone whether it be someone you love or a perfect stranger. Keep giving and the planet will keep living in a way that keep us all in a habitat that is communion with its natural environment, I just want to keep remembering that love inside of me and never be distracted from the greatest spiritual gift which is the inward knowing of love. There has to be a word such as hogkeytha which somehow says all that I could ever want to say even though i just want to feel the deepest silence in my being.

And then the Floods Came....

So I totally had an apartment with a bunch of people and we were going to do amazing things and then the rains came and then even a tornado came and Dorothy and Toto were no where to be found and sewage seeped in and the roommates decided we should all abandon loft. After 6 years of being a Nomad I signed a lease only to have it end just as it started. Perhaps Portland or San Fran are calling me or maybe I'll go back to the midwest and bring back the Naked Mile to Ann Arbor. Maybe I'll just live in a veggie oil bus with a whole bunch of people.

I have a week in which I have been having all sorts of connections back to Ann Arbor and even running into a guy named Ken who I met at internet cafe in Goa for about 15 minutes. One of my good buddies sold himself on ebay for almost $1000 which makes me think this might be a great way to raise money for the campaign. I will sell myself as a public servant to the American people to the highest bidder.

It will all be on the up and up and the money will go towards a fleet of vegetable oil buses and in which intriguing and humorous Americans will board so that we can rediscover our country. Consider it similar to the Lewis and Clark expedition even though I am sort of banned from their campus. Much love to the Jersey shore and anyone anywhere who is being true to their hearts desires. Being untrue to yourself will hurt so much more in the long run. Don't ever forget that. I love you all and see the writing on my sleeves.

Musings of Now

here come the channel opening up as the rain stops. we have found that starlets and Avatars are not so different from one another. You are my sister and he is my brother and too many other people are merely viewed as others belonging to another. There is no separation and I have desire to talk less and merely be more and if this upsets you then that is how it must be. Loud sounds ringing out of my mouth like the Tibetan bowls that you hear at the monastery, but that monastery feeling is our true nature. That feeling of the church, temple, mosque, or holy place is the sacred land of silence where words no longer have to be spoken. We are flying to a whole new dimension that has always existed, but we are becoming more aware of and the logical people will have their logic turned inside out.

The Great Gatsby was sad and lonely and we have become a country of Great Gatsby's thinking a Rags to Riches story in material wealth has any greater meaning. To not be true to yourself is demeaning and our minds need cleaning. We must do away with the things that no longer serve us and we must allow new people and places to enter into our life. Go west young man/woman. The unease is merely a tease or a prelude to the virtuoso of the mocking all that is held so sacred in a world of people that talk one way and end up living another. I have committed this sin before and it takes me away from the fullness of grace that is always offered if I would merely allow myself to receive, but we can not receive love when we try to deceive love.

Now all of us must allow ourselves to perceive the love that never went away we always seem to put it off for another day. But that day is now here in the solitude of a cave until we are ready to engage with all that is and be the opening between this world and the unseen world which is much larger. Science will be a whole new world by the end of 2009. We are entering into age of change that can no longer be held at bay because it has always been the way and no longer shall falseness and ego sway.

Rainy Day In NYC

I feel more and more expectations from other people being placed on me and though I am pretty good on not taking them on the pressure has seemed to intensify. It makes me realize that I don't want to do that to anybody. Amma came to NYC a couple of weeks ago and it was a beautiful and spiritual majestic time and though alot of people came most people choose to miss out on the experience of a blessing from a saint. I still think most New Yorkers think they might melt in the rain. I love it when it rains and I think that I kind of miss Spain. I became Te'DeVan in Barcelona and there has been no looking back since that point. I recently listened to a Beatles cover band at BB kings with some friends. I feel like mentioning small details because the other things are hard to articulate, but I can certainly feel things waking up inside of me like a sleeping dog when the thunder sounds. I am starting to settle into a place for the first time in 6 years. The Dharma Pad is born and in another week I look forward to seeing you guys come and visit. We all need to keep following our dreams and being what we desire and surrender things over to a higher force. We have to have trust and faith that things will work themselves out. I have been around the Chelesa area of NYC which I had predicted to a friend of mine a couple of weeks back and circumstances I have pulled me out here more often. I have a cookies addiction especially Uncle Eddies Vegan cookies. The Presidential campaign has picked up a few notches and more components to the project are coming together.
All of us are finding our way thru the storm and there will be a rainbow and it exists here and now you just have to open up your third eye. Open up your third eye and cut the ties to the mundane and do your sundance and raindance and you will find God's romance.

The Faster Things Move....

I just want to slow my mind down and just completely allow myself to be and not allow myself to identify with the currents of change that take place on the surface. I want to immerse myself in the joy of stillness and not allow myself to be overwhelmed by all the developments that seem to be transpiring so rapidly. Even if we are to achieve all of our goals this does not ensure our happiness or that we will find a deeper lasting peace. I find myself being threatened by so much change taking place. Many things that I have come to identify myself with are no longer true and I am starting new chapters in my life. I am being the change more often and this makes my ego feel threatened. Often after my most profound moments I find myself reverting to previous behaviors that do not actually benefit. It could be something as simple as eating too many cookies. There is a subtle sense of feat that I am experiencing and I am trying to escape from it by taking comfort in cookies, but there is no comfort to be found. Many of my dreams are manifesting into reality and this makes me very excited and nervous. I am focusing more deeply on love because love is all we need is more then just a song it is one of the greatest truths that exist. I am here to help people find a greater peace not to increase my identity.

I want to send out my love to all of my amazing friends that I have not spoken to in quite sometime. I want to write about love that changes all of us because if one of us undergoes a profound change then all of us undergo a profound change. The change is to have a deeper realization.

Be HERE Now

Now more then ever these words have been ringing strongly in my head. There was yesterday and there will be tomorrow, but only this moment that I am in right now offers me the power to surrender to the change that my soul desires to experience. To rid myself of my ego and identity and to realize that I am merely attached to a whole bunch of things that ultimately holding me back from knowing the infinite love that we are all capable of experience. I went to the beach and all sorts of realizations became clear to me. I am addicted and though it may not be to drugs or sex ultimately I still have addictions that desire to be fed so that I will repeat the same patterns and not realize the oneness that we all are. Cheating anyone merely means to cheat yourself and don't waste your energy being angry with someone about the choices they have made. You can only make your choices and be at peace with whatever those choices maybe. I forget my true self and when I do I end up clinging on to things that have already served their purpose. I hold myself back because I am scared to jump forward. All of us will move forward because that is the nature of life. Someone recently has asked me to play Bhagavan Dass the 6 foot 7 inch tall guy from Be Here Now and Are You Here Now. I found it fitting and humorous and the writer/director happened to have graduated from U of M which also made me smile. I met him at Amma also know as the "hugging saint". This woman really figured it out and just let herself become the love that is the foundation of all living things. We can all be hugging saints once we just allow ourselves to be here now.

Don't take the silence personally

Sometimes I don't want to talk about the weather or how my day is going and I don't want to have insipid conversations focused on some sort of mental masturbation. Okay maybe that is a bit harsh, but I just don't want to talk I just want to be there in silence and listen to the nothingness that is everything. I don't want to join your religion remember I already have my own (no not judiasm) just my own religion and I don't want anyone to join. New York brings out my edge. There is this one guy in NYC that is exremely angry man who keeps yelling at me and threatening to fight me and has once thrown a glass bottle at me. He basically calls everyone a racist and does not want to hear any information that might indicate that you are not a racist. New York is full of the most wonderful and heinous people though the extremes are not quite as intense as India. I am falling in some sort of love/lust/liking with a girl twice a day on a slow day. The amount people interactions I have here sends me to a point where I merely desire not to talk anymore. Furthermore I am obcessed with the song "Don't You forget about me" (what narcissitic person is not?). I don't want to be a holy man I just want to be like Andy Dufrane whose colors were too bright to be held in any sort of constraints. The pain gets deeper and either you surrender or suffer, and if you surrender then you won't suffer and if you suffer then you haven't surrendered. Surrender to some unknown force or spend at least half of your time worrying about things beyond your control. Lets be more vain what do you think and lets pretend like we care about Paris Hilton and her prison time. Forget about Darfur and just call my name and lets help Lindsay Lohan and Brittany spears find a musketeer AA meeting. Lets all become friends of Bill and let's make Bill the 1st man this way he can have more time to have more sexual exploits. Okay maybe this writing is tinged with a little edge, but it was something that has to come to the surface so that it can be released. Don't pretend not to be pissed when you are putting your fist thru the wall. Less talking and more being less talking and more being.

Prince has nothing on me and I will write even crazier lyrics. Much love to my friend Simeon and may all my friends go on to fuck or make love to their celebrity of choice and then we can all read about it in the New York Post. Tell me more about amazing eccentric wonderful people in Kansas and Alabama and less about Hollywood. And lets leave Brad and Angelina alone. By the way Tom Petty is teaching me how to fly so fucking high thru TM meditation. Lets all be yoga buddhists swimming in the clean part of the Hudson river. Hey Jenna Rae what a great dam name and may the dance last all summer long.

I a m GOing to WIld Extremes to find Balance

I want to scream and I am screaming. I feel there is so much coming at me and I just need to trust more. But this trusting thing can be so fucking scary, but if you don't trust then you just go insane. And maybe everything will go all wrong or all right or maybe you don't even know the difference anymore. You can sense what is around the corner, but your not exactly sure that you want to confront whatever it is and you are growing up and being part of something, but you have always been part of something. You feel disconnected because your scared to breathe. You have possible romances and possible living situations, but nothing has finalized itself. Even if the world is an illusion you want just one illusion to appear stable and that it will be there. Your choices involce alot more people then just you and you feel that you are carrying more then your load. There is help to be received, but sometimes you just have to ask.

I am in the midst of wild Manhattan craziness and trying to get everyone on the smae page and this can be quite challenging. Yet, none of this really matters and the family we create is the most important thing. I want to be more giving and more living, but I need to make more space inside of myself and remove more clutter that is coming to ths surface. My life has to be order if anything else is to mean anything. Some things seem promising and then fade like a shooting star while others blaze like a sun that we can't seem to see at times. I don't want to be new age or old age I just want to be the present age. I just want to see my way out of the maze of the mind thru surrendering the things beyond my control. I want to be generous, but I don't want to be trampled on. I want to reunite myself to my true core essence and then this whole journey becomes much easier. Give me the rock of God's love and let me stop searching and realize that I have always had what I was searching, but I just can't seem to realize beyond an intellectual understanding.

I am not sure if I can write or I can't write but I certainly know how to struggle when there is nothing to struggle with. I am fighting invisible men and women that I have made real out of my own fears and insecurities and taking on the fears of others and I just need to purge all the nonsense so that I can soar like the American eagle that has has shackles placed on its wings.

Every Now and Then

I want to run down the street stark naked yelling the most intense nonsense that will pop up in my head that moment. I walk around NYC and I can feel as if people are waiting to explode, but instead they trudge on instead of letting it out. We are all part of shaking things up and we have to allow ourselves to get a little crazy every now and then in a positive way, otherwise we become ingrained into conforming to the point that is almost impossible for our souls to be a peace. I have been having so many special moments that is really hard to go in details about any of them. I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed by NYC, but it forces me to grow and be balanced and gives me opportunity to bring so many different types of people together. The past moves forward into the present and future at the same time. I wander around New York City wearing no contact lenses and the streets have numbers and names that I have to squint so that I can see. I truly do get a sense of people's energies and I just follow the energy that is align with my path. We all desire an occassional distraction myself included.

I am only capable of being focused on God to a certain extent. I am not a sage or even a wise man. I merely a fool desiring to be more foolish. The foolish ones seem to love deepest. I have to give myself long deep looks and be the change that I want to see in this world. It is said so many times to be that change, but I actually have more of an understanding of what that means. I desire to be selfless but at times it makes me nervous. I still cling to an identity, but I am allowing changes to manifest as they are meant to be.

I want to tell you stories of street magicians and junkies and gypsies and people that play the violin that very few can hear or choose to hear. People that dance like their body might split open at any moment and trees that remain perfectly still despite all the craziness possible. I wonder what else I can say with words that can drive a poitn home. I have been having quite a few women retunring from my past that are allowing me to examine certain emotions and feelings. Life is a comedy often mistaken for a tragedy. Yet the best comedies have tears.

Hey there

Been out of touch as of late. So many things and people whirling around me in Nyc and it is hard to formulate it all into words and tell of things that might be of enjoyment and upliftment to whoever reads my blog. I really love NyC and the vast amounts of people that I have an opportunity to interact with. Not a day goes by that I don't have mulitiple blasts from the past of different locations or different periods in my life. I miss so many of you guys and the roles that you have played in the movie of my life. I really do view life as movie and God as the director/producer and me merely having a little bit role to be expereinced. I am in Brooklyn right now dealing with apartment stuff which is a very new experience for me on multiple levels. Just remember before you move the landlord needs a certificate of occupancy and in certain places they don't do it and it might mean that the place does not have proper ventaliation.

In other news I am falling more deeply in love with Union Square Park and central park on the weekends. I see the world changing rapidly and my mind experience a deeper stillness. I want to be immersed in the love that is all things around me. I want to know the formless that is the essence of all living things. I am not a guru merely someone on the path trying to find my inner bliss and happy to meet people that encourage me to go deeper within my core being.

I swear that I still crack jokes. A great funny moment from Bonnaroo was rolling out of a girl's car. And telling her thank you for letting me sleep it and that my name was Te'DeVan and I was running for president of the United States. How many of the other candidates have done something like that. It should not be illegal to sleep outside in this country. Trespassing in the 3rd degree puts poor people in jail and the shelters can be some of the most awful places from homeless people that I have spoken to. Government officials should be made to sleep in the shelters and see if they would be comfortable staying there before they can expect others to stay there. We spend too much money or hurting people we don't know and not enough on helping people that we claim to care about. The way we spend our money needs to change and whoever is reading this consider yourself to be the president and give your feedback. Because we need radical change not a lesser of two evils. We are the change that we want to see in the world around us.

Taking the Campaign to the South

So I have been MIA recently I was at Bonnaroo just enjoying myself immensely and following the flow of adventure. I was doing my best imitation of Sean Penn's character from All the Kings Men and stumping ( i think that is the right term) in front of the long lines at the portapottie. The speeches went over quite well for the most part. I can only imagine what the people inside of the bathrooms must have thought. My VP Smiley was having people make juice on his head and Matt Fisher did lots of explainations about we are all in the same band and that everyone is running for president. There was alot of insanity and many worlds colliding. I met a beautiful girl from Mobile, Alabama who wanted to take me back home and it almost worked out that way. Instead I met two marvelous Ivy league lesbians who took me to the suburbs of conneticut. We had great conversation about life and I did healing on the one from Harvard who had a bad sunburn. I had a ride fall thru last minute and made a ghetto cardboard sign early in the morning. I am back in NYC and working hard to bring the Dharma pad together though hopefully not too hard. We are all heading towards a whole new world and everyone's ability to be anything is becoming more obvious everyday. I just want to give a big shout out to "ask a gay man" I could only imagine being gay in Kentucky is not that easy.

I miss all of my friends in San Fran, Santa Cruz and the rest of Northern California. Alot of amazing people to meet and connect with in NYC. Everyone the Dharma Pad will be open starting July 1st and much love to Sonny for plunging yourself head first into your spiritual path.

Straight to the POINT OF Things

Humor is time removed from Pain. For instance when I spent a good two days feeling very sick in India it felt awful, but in retrospect I find it to be quite hiliarious. I recently have become obcessed with the idea of cute southern girls that use the word Preggers. They are real simple and just want to be married and preggers. I think that preggers is my word of the month. I am not special please do not think me special. I am the same as you and everyone that you know. There is no difference between me and your local bank teller, stripper, police officer, Iraqi citizen, etc.... I am finding people and things that I knew existed but seem to elude my grasp. I am slippery like quickie Koala. I am going to Tennesse and I am feeling that I don't want to talk about change or healing as much rather I prefer to experience these things. People seem to want to talk about this stuff, but are not willing to do expereince it. Get out of your own way and let God fly that plane or drive that car. There will always be someone more out there then you.

We have thoughts that pull us on numerous directions and we are the ones who are capable of seeing things as they are once we can remove our biases that have been programmed into us. I want to find Judy Garland somewhere over the rainbow and tell her I have a yellow brick road with her name on it. Get off the heroin and the cocaine it will only break everyones heart and make you more insane. Been around quite a few druggies lately and there anguish is devastating. We need to wake up out of out bubbles. Manic mysterious and completely delirious and just don't take yourself way too serious.

There will be death and there will be life and nothing really separates one from the other. There will be dancing and stillness hunger and fullness and all of it is some sort of experience that we have at some point or another. I don't care for politics I care for people. The problem is that politics doesn't care for people merely it cares to preserve itself. We all have to look at the next person we see and let us see the person that we most love and admire in their face.

The War stops when the internal conflict stops. Something is happening here and what it is clear is that there will be a whole lot of shaking going on. The rubber band will snap and the bubble will burst and there will be many people with great thurst and many people being driven off in a hearse such is the curse when there is imbalance. There is no reason to be sad because the sun will always come out tommorrow. Tommorrow tommorrow I love you tommorrow your only a few weeks or maybe months away.

First Batch of Campaign Videos

The Impossible Prez - Trailer #1


The Impossible Prez - War Room #1


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #1


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #2


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #3


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #4


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #5


Coming Soon: The Te'DeVan Presidential Video Library

Why Do I Care So Much What You Think

I am not sure why it is that maybe 8,000 people can tell you that you are amazing and it will feel good, but ultimately you pick out one person and decide that if they tell you that you are amazing then it means the entire world to you. Why and how is that we pick this person and bring them into our lives or push them out of our lives. We can't really seem to do one without the other. I am in uptown NYC which is not my usual stomping grounds, but these are not my usual days either. I still seem to do things to make myself jealous of things that I don't even care about because there is a part of me that seems to enjoy the slight anguish that causes me. I continue to become more aware of the unecessary challenges I place before myself and I am focused on just allowing them to fall by the wayside. We are part of an ongoing spontaneous Jazz song in the city of NYC and following our heart and meeting the friends of friends and intersecting at the most perfect moments as the clarinet and trumpet combine with a stand up bass that bring us to a point where it all makes sense. That all of the rational thought is not so rational.

There is something about a rainy night in NYC and random couchsurfing that only a few people have ever gotten to experience. We are all part of a play exiting and entering as some unseen force behind the curtains sets up the stage for the next scene. I am about to enter the next scene of my life and it will be one displayed before the masses of the public and hopefully it helps at least one other person to better understand themeselves. May they see a reflection of themselves within me and may I do the same with them. It is not about me but about team and the team is the human race and it is not a battle but a cipher that most be stirred so that we can have a lasting change. The cipher must swell within us and move outward. I must surrender the I so that I can just be a drift in streams of life that show anything can truly happen if we are open to it. Here I am and there you are very close and yet very far. I want to grab you thru the computer screen and slam you down in the most gentle and sensual way possible. I want to get thru all the illusions that we place before each other and see you for the omniprescent soul that bounds from your being that pulled me towards you and keeps my spirit with you and has unforseen surprises that will better help me to find the boundless love that is at the core of our being. All of us just want to know that love and somehow we settle for something less then that love. I am the love and in a look there is love and in a thought there is a love that is sometimes obstructed. Go beyond that thought and may those emotions be released and let your heart take where it will and may I find you when I will.

Being A Bridge for Connections

Each day in NYC is some sort of intense version of "this is your life" for me. Everywhere I go I am running into someone that I met at some point at my life on my journey. I have to go thru the catalog and figure exactly how I know them. For the other person it is usually a little easier. I think the signs I carry and my general height seem to narrow it down for most people. Life comes at you so fast in this city especially and it comes from all different angles. It is so important to always be on your toes in NYC. Things move so quickly here and I always find myself caught in highly new scenarios that allow me to connect to some of the most amazing people. I have been running into people from Charleston, South Carolina, Key West, San Fran, Coachella, Bonnaroo an other amazing musical festivals. I love playing the role of help people to connect to other people. People use my sign as an excuse to start conversations with other people. Basically I act as a bridge to help people to connect and I really love the role I play and helping to establish relationships.

I want all my friends back on the west coast to know that I miss you and I send my best and to all the people that have shared a moment with me (however brief) thank you for sharing that truest part of yourself with me. It encourages me to do the same. The walls are coming down and though facism seems to be gaining momentum it is actually losing its stranglehold on our country. We must remove the walls that we have within ourselves and it will then start to happen in our society.

1 degree of separation from Kevin Bacon

I ended up meeting two awesome cats from Columbia University while visiting Stanford. They are now both back in NYC and I have been kicking it with them. Humorously enough one of their friends recently met Kevin Bacon. Ah yes 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon which really only turns out to be one degree from multiple angles. My blinddate episode which took place 4 years ago was with a girl from Columbia (many blessings wherever you maybe) and I dedicated the first episode to the legalization of dancing in NYC. That's right NYC has some weird law that makes it illegal to dance at many bars and at certain times has actually arrested people for dancing. This brought about the DLF (dance liberation Front). Anyway back in 2003 I was stopped from dancing at bowery bar because they did not have a cabaret license. I realized that I needed to do something about it and an opportunity was provided to go on blinddate. I ended up going back to hang with the girl from the date and she was across the street from where Kevin Bacon used to live. This was all 4 years ago. Recently it has been reairing on television and people keep in NYC keep mentioning it. And just a few moments ago I met a Columbia student who had been hanging out with Kevin Bacon last night. Once again Kevin Bacon the dancing prophet and myself have almost crossed paths (for those of you who don't understand the dancing prophet reference see the movie "Footloose").

I Have a gift But I am not the solution

Last night it occurred to me while at a party that though it is a wonderful thing to do the work that I do or rather be the vessel that I am for healing energy there is an idea that I just wave my hands around/ do a prayer and all problems are gone. I am not capable of doing such a thing. I a merely someone that is capable of holding a space for people that desire to let go of their pain. I am not the guru I am merely someone that could perhaps be of some small assistance on your journey. Ultimately you must have desire to let go of your pain. I view myself as a man who stumbled upon his greatest asset within my own being and desire to help other people do the same thing.

I do not have a quick fix end all be all thing that I do. I merely can remind you that you don't need all the things that you are carrying around on your shoulders. You can then chose to heed me advice and let go or you can keep trucking along business as usual. We are both reflections of each other is how I view the world. I try to be aware of some of the things that world mirrors back at me.

Sometimes the most wonderous energy will pour thru my being, but that is because there is a desire from the person that I am do healing work on to accept it. They don't need belief as much as they need desire in order to become more in balance. I am constantly striving to find a deeper inner peace that allows me not be shaken when the world around me becomes challenging. Everything that you need is within you and starts with Making your mind quiet and listening to your inner guidance.

LEt s go Old School

Make me laugh I need s chuckle don't be so serious tell me why Paris Hilton may actually be the Buddha or maybe she is Jesus with even better fashion sense. We all need better fashion sense. We need to find the G spot and sell it on e-bay to I Bankers that work on wall street. We all need to find 21 Jump street. I am Johnny Deeps deep raging infierno manifested as an angry rapping jew that has a weird healing gift that makes little sense to his rational mind, but still he is forced to acknowledge that effects people.

Better dancing will lead to better sex and sentence fragments are hotter then a climax that last 3 hours. There is dancing bear somewhere in India who is being outsourced to be the surrogate mother for an American bear. I am CHuck palanuick from fight club, but not quite that angry or violent. Zombies walk to slow to catch me unless they are the newer zombies. I have found a prophecy inside of me that offers me the hope that I always wanted. Can you really get a contact buzz from weed.

I think people should give money for rehab and college. I want to be on the Mayflower and tell the pilgrims to go back. A man in the room with me is talking about his friends sleeping with his sister. He feels uncomfortable with guys sleeping with his sister. Do you feel comfortable with guys sleeping with your sister or would you feel better knowing your ex-girlfriend is sleeping with her.
Sleep depravation makes for entertaining writing. Sometimes I let my mind wander and these are the words that are unleashed. Yes I have a little bit of an edge and it comes out at times.

Find me Barabra Streisand and tell her she was great in Beaches and then she is the wind beneath your wings and that the movie helped you transform your life and that you will forever be in her debt. (of course I know is Bette Midler what type of Jew do you take me for). When the going gets weird remember that the weird turn pro and that I know the best pros.

Imposter College Students and Myspace People

There is a girl at Stanford or rather I should say there was a girl at Stanford named Azia Kim and she pretended to be a freshmen living at Stanford for 8 months in the dorms. They finally caught her as the school year was coming to an end. I love the idea she just decided that she was going to get an education at this school and was not going to let the small detail of not getting in stop her from doing just that.

We should all be so bold in going for what we want. I desire to have her on one of the campaign buses as things start rolling. On the other hand I am not a big fan of women that have webcame and want to be my friend on myspace. How do they find me? And since I meet so many people I always have to check out their profile to make sure that I don't actually know them. Usually I am correct but on few occassions it was women I had actually met who had a picture that was a bit sexed up. And now some of the webcam girls look like regular people that just want to chat.

The worst imposters are usually politicians because they pretend to make choices in the interest of the American public and only a few of them actually do that.

I'm Digging Hard

So I am at Stanford after leaving San Fran accept now I am wondering if I am facing the old cliche "I left my heart in San Francisco", but San Fran went to Seattle and this girl kind of came out nowhere and we both snuck up on each other. She is smart, sexy, funny, and she makes me feel high and smile when I let her seep into my being. I want to call her right now, but I just want to keep feeling her energetically and I just want to keep feeling and being with her soul. All of us really do have an ability to talk without speaking on the phone. All of us have feelings that we hold back myself included because we don't want to be caught out there all alone thinking the other person would catch us, but God's love always catches us.

The people that make us feel the best are also the people that can cause us to feel the worst. Life is an ebb and flow that leads to this journey. I am trying to allow myself more time to reflect and to be in clear state and speak from my heart. Though I am an open person there are still parts of me that are closed off and those parts need to open up and someone comes along and gives you a prod and brings all of that to the surface. We don't need to suffer we can just love deeply and let it take us wherever we need to be. We can try and rationalize our feelings or we can just feel them and be honest about what we feel and that is what I desire to remember for all of time.