I'm sure we have all been there at some point. Some friend of ours that we think is either mildy or very attractive and then one night a thought crosses our mind. Yet this thought is always crossing our minds. Here is a person before you that you actually like as a friend, it would be a fantastic idea to have sex with them or maybe it would be an awful idea. Maybe it will be once, maybe twice, maybe a couple of times a month. Maybe you'll get pregnant (because his roommates poked holes in his condoms). Maybe the sex will be really bad or maybe you'll never look at sex in the same way. Ultimately you are endangering a friendship, but then how soild of a friendship was it to begin with if having sex once would ruin it. Maybe it will be like When Harry Met Sally or maybe you watch movies too much and in actuality it will be like pretty good soy ice cream. Maybe one of you will become gay afterwards. Perhaps it will cause them to speak well of you to their friends and you will become a sex toy of sorts. Perhaps you have been spending too much time at your job thinking about it and are on the verge of losing your job unless you give into this desire. Maybe it merely seems convienent like going into Iraq and overthrowing Iraq convienent (that worked out okay..... right?...). Maybe the Iraq thing was unfair maybe you just don't get enough sex anymore or maybe you have always been a bit sex starved.
Maybe you don't want sex and you want love. Oh it seems really cliche to say that, but deep down inside I bet its true. Oh God don't say that to me. How could it be? Maybe they won't love me back so it is best that I just stay on the sidelines. And then I can spend the rest of my life on the sidelines. Okay here is the big question will going for it make me more the person I want to be or less then person I want to be. There are numerous facets, but How does it FEEL IN YOUR GUT. QUick don't think just catch yes or no. Plunge or restraint or was there nothing really to restrain other then your own imagination. All we have is NOW do you want it now or should you just let it pass on by like the song says in the Breakfast Club. IF I walk on by will you call my name? What is your name? Or should I just keep you a secret part of a safe fantasy land that has no business being anywhere else. I bet you're just a tease anyway or maybe you're the passionate beast that can fill that thirst, but that would make you God. Are you God? And if you are, tell me where you want me and how you want me.
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4 comments:
Sometimes we channel things my man that is all I can say about that and yes while sleep I do unconsciously listen to many of my friends conversations.
te'devan, i often feel the same way as jminney when i read your blog. but i find most parts of my life have been secretly listening in on all the others, so it doesn't surprise me you're here.
i am taking a yo-chi class and for some reason i want to tell you all about it.
covet those pearls. they are the wisdom behind love, humility, mercy and justice. you are the jeweller of infinite wisdom.
one L
There must be some convergence in the universe right now. I too can totally relate. In fact... call me tomorrow. So strange that you should post this now...
BTW, I often thought about having sex with you, but Tatum was always cockblocking. I was the one poking holes in his condoms...
there is always some convergence in the universe. as time goes on it sucks in more and more people. and somewhere right in the midst of it is te'devan.
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