Every Now and Then

I want to run down the street stark naked yelling the most intense nonsense that will pop up in my head that moment. I walk around NYC and I can feel as if people are waiting to explode, but instead they trudge on instead of letting it out. We are all part of shaking things up and we have to allow ourselves to get a little crazy every now and then in a positive way, otherwise we become ingrained into conforming to the point that is almost impossible for our souls to be a peace. I have been having so many special moments that is really hard to go in details about any of them. I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed by NYC, but it forces me to grow and be balanced and gives me opportunity to bring so many different types of people together. The past moves forward into the present and future at the same time. I wander around New York City wearing no contact lenses and the streets have numbers and names that I have to squint so that I can see. I truly do get a sense of people's energies and I just follow the energy that is align with my path. We all desire an occassional distraction myself included.

I am only capable of being focused on God to a certain extent. I am not a sage or even a wise man. I merely a fool desiring to be more foolish. The foolish ones seem to love deepest. I have to give myself long deep looks and be the change that I want to see in this world. It is said so many times to be that change, but I actually have more of an understanding of what that means. I desire to be selfless but at times it makes me nervous. I still cling to an identity, but I am allowing changes to manifest as they are meant to be.

I want to tell you stories of street magicians and junkies and gypsies and people that play the violin that very few can hear or choose to hear. People that dance like their body might split open at any moment and trees that remain perfectly still despite all the craziness possible. I wonder what else I can say with words that can drive a poitn home. I have been having quite a few women retunring from my past that are allowing me to examine certain emotions and feelings. Life is a comedy often mistaken for a tragedy. Yet the best comedies have tears.

Hey there

Been out of touch as of late. So many things and people whirling around me in Nyc and it is hard to formulate it all into words and tell of things that might be of enjoyment and upliftment to whoever reads my blog. I really love NyC and the vast amounts of people that I have an opportunity to interact with. Not a day goes by that I don't have mulitiple blasts from the past of different locations or different periods in my life. I miss so many of you guys and the roles that you have played in the movie of my life. I really do view life as movie and God as the director/producer and me merely having a little bit role to be expereinced. I am in Brooklyn right now dealing with apartment stuff which is a very new experience for me on multiple levels. Just remember before you move the landlord needs a certificate of occupancy and in certain places they don't do it and it might mean that the place does not have proper ventaliation.

In other news I am falling more deeply in love with Union Square Park and central park on the weekends. I see the world changing rapidly and my mind experience a deeper stillness. I want to be immersed in the love that is all things around me. I want to know the formless that is the essence of all living things. I am not a guru merely someone on the path trying to find my inner bliss and happy to meet people that encourage me to go deeper within my core being.

I swear that I still crack jokes. A great funny moment from Bonnaroo was rolling out of a girl's car. And telling her thank you for letting me sleep it and that my name was Te'DeVan and I was running for president of the United States. How many of the other candidates have done something like that. It should not be illegal to sleep outside in this country. Trespassing in the 3rd degree puts poor people in jail and the shelters can be some of the most awful places from homeless people that I have spoken to. Government officials should be made to sleep in the shelters and see if they would be comfortable staying there before they can expect others to stay there. We spend too much money or hurting people we don't know and not enough on helping people that we claim to care about. The way we spend our money needs to change and whoever is reading this consider yourself to be the president and give your feedback. Because we need radical change not a lesser of two evils. We are the change that we want to see in the world around us.

Taking the Campaign to the South

So I have been MIA recently I was at Bonnaroo just enjoying myself immensely and following the flow of adventure. I was doing my best imitation of Sean Penn's character from All the Kings Men and stumping ( i think that is the right term) in front of the long lines at the portapottie. The speeches went over quite well for the most part. I can only imagine what the people inside of the bathrooms must have thought. My VP Smiley was having people make juice on his head and Matt Fisher did lots of explainations about we are all in the same band and that everyone is running for president. There was alot of insanity and many worlds colliding. I met a beautiful girl from Mobile, Alabama who wanted to take me back home and it almost worked out that way. Instead I met two marvelous Ivy league lesbians who took me to the suburbs of conneticut. We had great conversation about life and I did healing on the one from Harvard who had a bad sunburn. I had a ride fall thru last minute and made a ghetto cardboard sign early in the morning. I am back in NYC and working hard to bring the Dharma pad together though hopefully not too hard. We are all heading towards a whole new world and everyone's ability to be anything is becoming more obvious everyday. I just want to give a big shout out to "ask a gay man" I could only imagine being gay in Kentucky is not that easy.

I miss all of my friends in San Fran, Santa Cruz and the rest of Northern California. Alot of amazing people to meet and connect with in NYC. Everyone the Dharma Pad will be open starting July 1st and much love to Sonny for plunging yourself head first into your spiritual path.

Straight to the POINT OF Things

Humor is time removed from Pain. For instance when I spent a good two days feeling very sick in India it felt awful, but in retrospect I find it to be quite hiliarious. I recently have become obcessed with the idea of cute southern girls that use the word Preggers. They are real simple and just want to be married and preggers. I think that preggers is my word of the month. I am not special please do not think me special. I am the same as you and everyone that you know. There is no difference between me and your local bank teller, stripper, police officer, Iraqi citizen, etc.... I am finding people and things that I knew existed but seem to elude my grasp. I am slippery like quickie Koala. I am going to Tennesse and I am feeling that I don't want to talk about change or healing as much rather I prefer to experience these things. People seem to want to talk about this stuff, but are not willing to do expereince it. Get out of your own way and let God fly that plane or drive that car. There will always be someone more out there then you.

We have thoughts that pull us on numerous directions and we are the ones who are capable of seeing things as they are once we can remove our biases that have been programmed into us. I want to find Judy Garland somewhere over the rainbow and tell her I have a yellow brick road with her name on it. Get off the heroin and the cocaine it will only break everyones heart and make you more insane. Been around quite a few druggies lately and there anguish is devastating. We need to wake up out of out bubbles. Manic mysterious and completely delirious and just don't take yourself way too serious.

There will be death and there will be life and nothing really separates one from the other. There will be dancing and stillness hunger and fullness and all of it is some sort of experience that we have at some point or another. I don't care for politics I care for people. The problem is that politics doesn't care for people merely it cares to preserve itself. We all have to look at the next person we see and let us see the person that we most love and admire in their face.

The War stops when the internal conflict stops. Something is happening here and what it is clear is that there will be a whole lot of shaking going on. The rubber band will snap and the bubble will burst and there will be many people with great thurst and many people being driven off in a hearse such is the curse when there is imbalance. There is no reason to be sad because the sun will always come out tommorrow. Tommorrow tommorrow I love you tommorrow your only a few weeks or maybe months away.

First Batch of Campaign Videos

The Impossible Prez - Trailer #1


The Impossible Prez - War Room #1


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #1


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #2


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #3


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #4


On the Campaign Trail: San Francisco #5


Coming Soon: The Te'DeVan Presidential Video Library

Why Do I Care So Much What You Think

I am not sure why it is that maybe 8,000 people can tell you that you are amazing and it will feel good, but ultimately you pick out one person and decide that if they tell you that you are amazing then it means the entire world to you. Why and how is that we pick this person and bring them into our lives or push them out of our lives. We can't really seem to do one without the other. I am in uptown NYC which is not my usual stomping grounds, but these are not my usual days either. I still seem to do things to make myself jealous of things that I don't even care about because there is a part of me that seems to enjoy the slight anguish that causes me. I continue to become more aware of the unecessary challenges I place before myself and I am focused on just allowing them to fall by the wayside. We are part of an ongoing spontaneous Jazz song in the city of NYC and following our heart and meeting the friends of friends and intersecting at the most perfect moments as the clarinet and trumpet combine with a stand up bass that bring us to a point where it all makes sense. That all of the rational thought is not so rational.

There is something about a rainy night in NYC and random couchsurfing that only a few people have ever gotten to experience. We are all part of a play exiting and entering as some unseen force behind the curtains sets up the stage for the next scene. I am about to enter the next scene of my life and it will be one displayed before the masses of the public and hopefully it helps at least one other person to better understand themeselves. May they see a reflection of themselves within me and may I do the same with them. It is not about me but about team and the team is the human race and it is not a battle but a cipher that most be stirred so that we can have a lasting change. The cipher must swell within us and move outward. I must surrender the I so that I can just be a drift in streams of life that show anything can truly happen if we are open to it. Here I am and there you are very close and yet very far. I want to grab you thru the computer screen and slam you down in the most gentle and sensual way possible. I want to get thru all the illusions that we place before each other and see you for the omniprescent soul that bounds from your being that pulled me towards you and keeps my spirit with you and has unforseen surprises that will better help me to find the boundless love that is at the core of our being. All of us just want to know that love and somehow we settle for something less then that love. I am the love and in a look there is love and in a thought there is a love that is sometimes obstructed. Go beyond that thought and may those emotions be released and let your heart take where it will and may I find you when I will.

Being A Bridge for Connections

Each day in NYC is some sort of intense version of "this is your life" for me. Everywhere I go I am running into someone that I met at some point at my life on my journey. I have to go thru the catalog and figure exactly how I know them. For the other person it is usually a little easier. I think the signs I carry and my general height seem to narrow it down for most people. Life comes at you so fast in this city especially and it comes from all different angles. It is so important to always be on your toes in NYC. Things move so quickly here and I always find myself caught in highly new scenarios that allow me to connect to some of the most amazing people. I have been running into people from Charleston, South Carolina, Key West, San Fran, Coachella, Bonnaroo an other amazing musical festivals. I love playing the role of help people to connect to other people. People use my sign as an excuse to start conversations with other people. Basically I act as a bridge to help people to connect and I really love the role I play and helping to establish relationships.

I want all my friends back on the west coast to know that I miss you and I send my best and to all the people that have shared a moment with me (however brief) thank you for sharing that truest part of yourself with me. It encourages me to do the same. The walls are coming down and though facism seems to be gaining momentum it is actually losing its stranglehold on our country. We must remove the walls that we have within ourselves and it will then start to happen in our society.

1 degree of separation from Kevin Bacon

I ended up meeting two awesome cats from Columbia University while visiting Stanford. They are now both back in NYC and I have been kicking it with them. Humorously enough one of their friends recently met Kevin Bacon. Ah yes 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon which really only turns out to be one degree from multiple angles. My blinddate episode which took place 4 years ago was with a girl from Columbia (many blessings wherever you maybe) and I dedicated the first episode to the legalization of dancing in NYC. That's right NYC has some weird law that makes it illegal to dance at many bars and at certain times has actually arrested people for dancing. This brought about the DLF (dance liberation Front). Anyway back in 2003 I was stopped from dancing at bowery bar because they did not have a cabaret license. I realized that I needed to do something about it and an opportunity was provided to go on blinddate. I ended up going back to hang with the girl from the date and she was across the street from where Kevin Bacon used to live. This was all 4 years ago. Recently it has been reairing on television and people keep in NYC keep mentioning it. And just a few moments ago I met a Columbia student who had been hanging out with Kevin Bacon last night. Once again Kevin Bacon the dancing prophet and myself have almost crossed paths (for those of you who don't understand the dancing prophet reference see the movie "Footloose").

I Have a gift But I am not the solution

Last night it occurred to me while at a party that though it is a wonderful thing to do the work that I do or rather be the vessel that I am for healing energy there is an idea that I just wave my hands around/ do a prayer and all problems are gone. I am not capable of doing such a thing. I a merely someone that is capable of holding a space for people that desire to let go of their pain. I am not the guru I am merely someone that could perhaps be of some small assistance on your journey. Ultimately you must have desire to let go of your pain. I view myself as a man who stumbled upon his greatest asset within my own being and desire to help other people do the same thing.

I do not have a quick fix end all be all thing that I do. I merely can remind you that you don't need all the things that you are carrying around on your shoulders. You can then chose to heed me advice and let go or you can keep trucking along business as usual. We are both reflections of each other is how I view the world. I try to be aware of some of the things that world mirrors back at me.

Sometimes the most wonderous energy will pour thru my being, but that is because there is a desire from the person that I am do healing work on to accept it. They don't need belief as much as they need desire in order to become more in balance. I am constantly striving to find a deeper inner peace that allows me not be shaken when the world around me becomes challenging. Everything that you need is within you and starts with Making your mind quiet and listening to your inner guidance.

LEt s go Old School

Make me laugh I need s chuckle don't be so serious tell me why Paris Hilton may actually be the Buddha or maybe she is Jesus with even better fashion sense. We all need better fashion sense. We need to find the G spot and sell it on e-bay to I Bankers that work on wall street. We all need to find 21 Jump street. I am Johnny Deeps deep raging infierno manifested as an angry rapping jew that has a weird healing gift that makes little sense to his rational mind, but still he is forced to acknowledge that effects people.

Better dancing will lead to better sex and sentence fragments are hotter then a climax that last 3 hours. There is dancing bear somewhere in India who is being outsourced to be the surrogate mother for an American bear. I am CHuck palanuick from fight club, but not quite that angry or violent. Zombies walk to slow to catch me unless they are the newer zombies. I have found a prophecy inside of me that offers me the hope that I always wanted. Can you really get a contact buzz from weed.

I think people should give money for rehab and college. I want to be on the Mayflower and tell the pilgrims to go back. A man in the room with me is talking about his friends sleeping with his sister. He feels uncomfortable with guys sleeping with his sister. Do you feel comfortable with guys sleeping with your sister or would you feel better knowing your ex-girlfriend is sleeping with her.
Sleep depravation makes for entertaining writing. Sometimes I let my mind wander and these are the words that are unleashed. Yes I have a little bit of an edge and it comes out at times.

Find me Barabra Streisand and tell her she was great in Beaches and then she is the wind beneath your wings and that the movie helped you transform your life and that you will forever be in her debt. (of course I know is Bette Midler what type of Jew do you take me for). When the going gets weird remember that the weird turn pro and that I know the best pros.

Imposter College Students and Myspace People

There is a girl at Stanford or rather I should say there was a girl at Stanford named Azia Kim and she pretended to be a freshmen living at Stanford for 8 months in the dorms. They finally caught her as the school year was coming to an end. I love the idea she just decided that she was going to get an education at this school and was not going to let the small detail of not getting in stop her from doing just that.

We should all be so bold in going for what we want. I desire to have her on one of the campaign buses as things start rolling. On the other hand I am not a big fan of women that have webcame and want to be my friend on myspace. How do they find me? And since I meet so many people I always have to check out their profile to make sure that I don't actually know them. Usually I am correct but on few occassions it was women I had actually met who had a picture that was a bit sexed up. And now some of the webcam girls look like regular people that just want to chat.

The worst imposters are usually politicians because they pretend to make choices in the interest of the American public and only a few of them actually do that.

I'm Digging Hard

So I am at Stanford after leaving San Fran accept now I am wondering if I am facing the old cliche "I left my heart in San Francisco", but San Fran went to Seattle and this girl kind of came out nowhere and we both snuck up on each other. She is smart, sexy, funny, and she makes me feel high and smile when I let her seep into my being. I want to call her right now, but I just want to keep feeling her energetically and I just want to keep feeling and being with her soul. All of us really do have an ability to talk without speaking on the phone. All of us have feelings that we hold back myself included because we don't want to be caught out there all alone thinking the other person would catch us, but God's love always catches us.

The people that make us feel the best are also the people that can cause us to feel the worst. Life is an ebb and flow that leads to this journey. I am trying to allow myself more time to reflect and to be in clear state and speak from my heart. Though I am an open person there are still parts of me that are closed off and those parts need to open up and someone comes along and gives you a prod and brings all of that to the surface. We don't need to suffer we can just love deeply and let it take us wherever we need to be. We can try and rationalize our feelings or we can just feel them and be honest about what we feel and that is what I desire to remember for all of time.

New Avenues To New Possibilities

I want to say something at this exact moment that pierces right thru the shell of the mundane world. That hits right underneath the surface of a world that is filled with endless possibilities including an unlikely Presidential campaign. Yesterday I did my first interview with a San Francisco Newspaper that should be coming out in Early July. I have a meeting with a production company on Wednesday who has a serious interest in producing "The Impossible Prez". I very excited but also very calm about all the current things going on around me.

I will keep everyone posted on the progress of the campaign and the television/documentary series that will be in conjunction with it. I am working with some extremely talented people and San Fran has been a world of blessings for me. I really do love this town and soaking up the time that I have left before I leave you.
I was at the Bay to Breakers campaign and I had an amazing with a few of my friends and the most amazing and wonderful people that were met along the way. We are entering into a whole new day where people truly realize that anything can happen if your open to new possibilities.

We must constantly allow ourselves to grow in new and different ways and these new routines will create new adventures. To quote Tom Petty "I am learning TO Fly, but ain't got wings." We are on the brink of a whole new way of going about things. I would once again like to thank all the people that have been spreading the buzz about the campaign and sending links to the youtube videos that have resonated with you.
This is campaign aimed at many different types of people not all aspects of it will always appeal to you initially but may it always inspire you to look at old things in new ways.

Embracing the Higher Self and letting the smaller self go

Sometimes when I write something I leave out details and the way that I describe things might cause people to understand the event in a way that is different from how it actually transpired. I always try to write as truthfully as possible though I have an ego that is very clever in regards to protecting itself. I still make assumptions in life that entirely false and want everyone who reads my blog to know that. I am on the path like everyone else and I have not reached full realization and shed my attachment to my identity. I still very wrapped up in my identity and sometimes after when I get scared about being vulnerable I immerse myself more deeply in what some call their "small self" (the big self bigger higher consciousness) because it is something that my rational mind strives to maintain.

I have been arrogant before in my life and I can tell you that I will be arrogant and sometimes it is very intentional and sometimes it is not intentional. I have had moments of profound humility and I desire to maintain that humility on some level, but my ego desires greatly to keep its small identity and make itself the focus of my existence. The ego can never be satisfied and it leads to intense ambition. Ultimately I desire to let go of my ambition because it does not bring me deep joy, but rather temporary satisfaction with temporary pleasure that I quickly forget. Yet, my mind craves these temporary pleasures and wants me to keep chasing them like some sort of Mad Hatter. One day soon I will drop all of these desires and be in the deepest state of ecstasy that will never have me chasing temporary pleasures. It does not mean that I will not have them, but merely that they will not be any sort of focus for me.

Where Are My Bibilical Quotes

I think I am going thru Biblical quote withdraw. I never had anyone write longer responses then the length of my 2 previous blogs combined. Sure it seemed a little odd, but everything in my life is a little odd to say the least. Plus I really enjoyed Reverend Steve's responses. Admit Reverend Steve you need Biblical Pundits so that you can be at your comedic best. For those of you who never payed close attention. I was getting more comments then ever on my blog. Though most of them were biblical quotes. Sonny bring it back just like the Godfather and include your own personal interpretation of scripture and Reverend Steve will have even more opportunities to be at his comedic best. What was Muhummad Ali without Frazier. Sure he joked around that Frazier shouldn't even show up for the fight, but we need both Sonny and Reverend Steve. In the immortal of that famous referee in boxing "lets get it on".

In other news I will be back on the east coast for a while starting May 28th so keeping your eyes peeled for me in Union Square Park. Also one of my campaign wizards is being seduced by a Belgium Campaign that is offering free blowjobs. First chocolate and now blowjobs what will these brillant people come up with next. In other news everyone in San Fran I meet is convinced a huge earthquake is coming or maybe I am convincing them. Either way I feel strongly that this earth shaking will reflect and huge political and social change that is about to manifest in this country and around the world. The last time San Fran had a big earthquake the Berlin Wall went down back in 1989 and everyone says we are overdue. My feeling is that it will happen in the next 3 months. There are have been some odd weather patterns here but that could also be go old global warming.

In happier news 16th mission celebrated its 4th year of Thursday night outdoor spoken poetry/rants/music/comedy and just people coming together to say what is their minds.
I send everyone the best and keep doing your thing wherever you maybe right now in the world.

A Dharma Pad is Coming

I am in the process of getting a pad with a bunch of my friends somewhere on the fringes of NYC. It will consist of some of the most amazing people you can imagine. It will have bunkbeds/lofts for sleeping a huge living space and a love making room. Rent will go for about $300 a month and I am looking for substance free people whom are creative. They are people on a spiritual quest of some sorts and seeking to find a deeper inner peace. They will come from all walks of life. There will also be a constant stream of visitors. It will be an amazing group effort to manifest a spiritual and peaceful version of Andy Warhol's the factory.

We will have the best and brightest couchsurfers from all over the world coming to stay with us. If you are thinking about moving to NYC in the next few weeks contact me thru my myspace account.

What Will It take For The Country To Really Change

I have had quite few conversations with my friends in regards to what it will take to bring about serious change in this country. I feel that the vast majority of Americans are fighting for the nicest room on the Titanic and nobody wants to address the issue of the large hole in the ship. We have the capability to fix the hole but instead we spend our energy in extreme exercises of futility and proclaim that we have that right as Americans. Recently I was informed that many of our honey bees have been dying and I feel this should be a huge red flag and one of the biggest headlines. Einstein said that once the bees go we as species will go shortly afterwards.

I am in San Francisco pondering honey bees becoming extinct and the strain the strain that a huge earthquake would have on our country. We can't keep going the way we are going, but very few people are willing to make the lifestyle changes that are needed to bring us back into balance with nature. We really need to increase hemp production and start using hemp for paper so that we can conserve our trees. We need to make some large changes across the board and they need to be made right now.

All of us must be the change in our own lives and the nation will soon follow. We must wake up from our rampant consuming slumber so that we can see the amazing beauty that nature contains and that we all can appreciate by just being still in our mind.

My Campaing Wizards

We are focused on major change in this world and I really do want peace, but I have been taking the pulse of this country based on its purchases. Lose weight, Great Sex, Be happy and fall asleep at night. These are the keys to the campaign trail and then we can focus on the love and stillness of mind and all the things that I truly hold dear. We need to bridge the gap between the people who vote and the people that are in this country right now. 180,00,000 people did not vote in the last election. We are going to give them what they want like Lenin in Russia. We will offer the new version of peace, bread, and land. I think this was the campaign that led to a successful revolution and we will win and Karl Rove will be scratching his head because he galvanized the Christian right. We will do the same thing with the apathetic. I have come to light a small fire under 180,000,000. Now is the time and we are the people to shake it up. You want to be entertained America? I've got what you've been looking for my friends.

I want to talk About Ad that has inspired me

It is in the Castro section of San Fran and has a bunch of buff guys and it says "Hot Sex Without Crystal Hell YEah". How bad must the Meth problem be or why don't we have more ads like this one. How about "Lose weight without Cocaine Hell Yeah" or maybe "Get really blissed out without excasty Hell yeah." There is a great honesty about this campaign that other campaigns don't have. I am still wondering who said yeah this is the way we should go in our anti meth campaign. We have to look at the reasons people are doing certain drugs and explain that we can achieve that same outcome without using substances. It is a very wonderful idea even if most anti-drug campaigns are based upon the 80's idea of Nancy Regan saying "Just Say No". I have to be honest I have never done drugs, but Nancy made me want to consider trying it. I really imagine somewhere in white suburban neighborhoods at least one less line of coke was snorted because of these ads involving Nancy.

In the Presidential Campaign we are going to run alot of honest ads. We are going to be everyone's favorite punchline and be proud of it. We need to be innovative and bold and take plenty of chances. We may be the shadow of the dark horse in this race, but we are going straight to the top like a used condom in a jacuzzi. "Hot Sex in a jacuzzi without drinking Hell Yeah". Ultimately America wants to be happier, thinner, with a better sex life and be able to fall asleep at night. This consists of the majority of drugs that the pharmacy companies sell to Americans that are rampant consumers. Our Presidential Campaign will offer all of this to pull people in and though these are not my greater goals by any stretch of the imagination it is certainly a starting point to draw interest to campaign that is highly under publicized at this present moment.

revolution is the evolution of humanity,
President Te'DeVan

Slacker Prophet at Coachella 2007

Part One


Part Two