Sometimes when I write something I leave out details and the way that I describe things might cause people to understand the event in a way that is different from how it actually transpired. I always try to write as truthfully as possible though I have an ego that is very clever in regards to protecting itself. I still make assumptions in life that entirely false and want everyone who reads my blog to know that. I am on the path like everyone else and I have not reached full realization and shed my attachment to my identity. I still very wrapped up in my identity and sometimes after when I get scared about being vulnerable I immerse myself more deeply in what some call their "small self" (the big self bigger higher consciousness) because it is something that my rational mind strives to maintain.
I have been arrogant before in my life and I can tell you that I will be arrogant and sometimes it is very intentional and sometimes it is not intentional. I have had moments of profound humility and I desire to maintain that humility on some level, but my ego desires greatly to keep its small identity and make itself the focus of my existence. The ego can never be satisfied and it leads to intense ambition. Ultimately I desire to let go of my ambition because it does not bring me deep joy, but rather temporary satisfaction with temporary pleasure that I quickly forget. Yet, my mind craves these temporary pleasures and wants me to keep chasing them like some sort of Mad Hatter. One day soon I will drop all of these desires and be in the deepest state of ecstasy that will never have me chasing temporary pleasures. It does not mean that I will not have them, but merely that they will not be any sort of focus for me.