Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Tell Everybody or Maybe Just Keep It A Secret

Some of us wait an entire lifetime for something to transpire that we believe will eradicate all of our suffering. Yet, if we are lucky enough to have it happen we quickly realize that it always comes with a new series of problems. Tell everybody or nobody what your dreams are and follow your heart especially when everyone tells you to do something else. We all need an opportunity to stumble before we can come to the conclusion what is that we really want out of life. Sometimes I ponder all of the places I've been a few of the faces that I remember. One of the greatest quests in my life is to find a freedom in myself that allows me to not be attached to things and to be present in this moment and experience the moment of now and breathe in the blessings. I had the fantasy the media had me swallow. Now is something that I can't put into words and words falter yet I still attempt to point at the mercury in your mouth and say spit it out. Spit out all the garbage that they have contaminated us with. Everyone keeps talking about 2012 or something along those lines, but right now it is 2008 and yet it will be 2012 before we know it and I don't expect some future date to offer me any solutions to not being trapped by my mind. Through my intense focus on my breathing and the music that exists in nature I know there is an order to the chaos of life. I want to speak in other languages. There was a counter culture that was once prominent that wanted to make the earth a better place and then it has now be marketed and sold to us like any other commodity. Buy whatever you want stumble as much as you want but know that there is a path and when you walk people can feel at it always warrants some sort of response. I never had to do anything that I have down, but to get at this point I had no other choice. I recently saw my 90 year old aunt and my life is beyond fathomable and she asked me if I would go back to the way I was. I guess I could have asked her the same. I am happier and more at peace with myself now then at any point of my life. I continue on my quest to an eternal bliss that is never dependent on external circumstances. All of us are capable of great many things and we easily lose sight of this most wonderful truth. Yet at first the truth can ssem like a nightmare but the greatest nightmare is running for that inherent truth that will allow us to finally be free. To realize and more importantly to accept the fleeting nature of all things and all the love we experience and share will be remembered.

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