So my friend Matt Fisher wrote a song and in it he says "will somebody please tell me where I'm supposed to be". This is certainly how I am feeling these days. I am actually attempting to settle into Portland for the next couple of months and just rent a little room/basement somewhere here and focus intensely on my meditation. It is an emotional time for me and also a great time to challenge myself in regards to any fear that I have. Recently I have been reading "Be Here Now" and contemplating the idea of dying -- for only when the ego dies can we truly be free. I want to let go of my attachment to everything that I have held so dear. I need to rediscover a greater peace inside of me.
I took a break from this and now I revisit it and am leaving Portland on my way to Northern Cali and Key West. Who knows what awaits me there? I first was driven to Key West because of a girl that I was madly in love with at the time 3 years ago. I was dressed in a white robe (jesus) and she had on a blonde wig (supposedly Marilyn Monroe) and she broke my heart in front of a Denny's. I laugh about it quite a bit now, but something else pulls me back there this time. There is something about little Magaritaville that is calling me beyond what people would expect. I first learned about John of God while in Key West along with a few other things. Now that I have been to Brazil and spent 5 weeks with John of God I want to bring that back to the people of Key West Florida and all the people that pass on thru while I am there. Key West is the end of the line, the southern most point in the United States. It is west of nothing and east of everything. It is where Hemingway started doing his thing and a place that calls me back 3 years to the day. This time it is something completely different, something that I will not even begin to try and explain. This time I feel that I am playing for keeps.
I'll see many of you soon, and Portland, know that I will come back when the timing is right. You have made your love clear to me and I thank you for that.
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4 comments:
ted, it's addie. i saw you on the g train to brooklyn. it was this summer. i am the one that models. i do have mental clutter, you are right!!i left my agency and moved back to wilmington for a while. i want to start traveling now and complete some of my missions. i have been searching for you for a while and i finally found you.
thank you for the clarity on the subway. i hope to see you again. wilmington, nc needs you sooo badly, my spirit brother. you have a couch to crash on if you ever want to come to the beach here in wilmington, north carolina. come stay with me anytime. God bless you. harmonysedge@yahoo.com is my email and addiewuensch.com is my site. love you, bro. please write me sometime, i would love that. i think about you nearly every day.
Te'DeVan, I have no doubt that we will meet in the future. I am looking forward to it. As for now, I am in the land of Israel. If you drop by, you have a place to stay. chutzzac@gmail.com.
Just to comment on anonymous' comment...
I get at least one email/comment per week referring to Te as "Ted Evan." I have just given up correcting people, but perhaps if he ever needs an alter ego or a pen-name, Ted Evan seems to be the name of destiny.
I have never met a Jew named Ted. Then again, until 2000, I had never met a Jew named Te either.
PS. Yo mama.
By the way Addie my friend loves the brown sandals/shoes and needs to know where you got them. I am hanging with her right now. It is Te'DeVan but understand the mistake of Ted. Reverend I appreciate and understand the sentiment on giving up of correcting, but at least Yo Mama got it right. And Israel thank you for the love and Maybe Feburary will be that time.
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