Saturday, August 12, 2006

It's All Smiley's Fault (and maybe Doctor Jones as well)

I think it is about time like every good politician that I blame everything on someone else who may or may not be real. His name is Smiley and "He Hates All Mass Media". Or at least he has yelled this phrase a couple of times while extremely drunk and maybe sober. If it was not for him I would be a stockbroker/investment banker with short hair living the life that was more expected of me (think wall street but taller).

But one day in LBI on a beach pier nearby a police station he yelled down to me "Hey you want to start a revolution". Without missing a beat I replied "Heell to the yeah" or maybe just "Hell yeah" time has faded my memory on exactly what my response was. This is the moment that everyone can look back on and say it was all his fault. I am not upset about all the craziness that has ensued and will continue to ensue, but I just wanted to take this time to tell you it was all Smiley's fault and perhaps a man who goes by Doctor Jones (who is not actully a doctor, but he does have lots of patience) who was involved in more ways then I could even begin to imagine. I feel that they had scoped me out for years without my knowledge. They knew what I was capable of and decided without my knowing that I would be the one. They knew that I could not resist such an offer. The offer of a lifetime (the one that Castro had given to Che back in the day) to bring about a revolution at a point in society where most people had given up on such an idea or merely viewed it as fantasy.

They knew that I was indeed naive enough and crazy enough to attempt this revolution and so it was decided in mid-August of 2000 without my knowledge that I would start this revolution.
I am truly thankful that I was chosen by the powers that be to start this revolution and have no regrets, but when it all goes down and they are looking for clues on how all this took place I suggest talking to Smiley and Doctor Jones, assuming they actually exist and people around me have not just be humoring me about their existence for the last six years. Sometimes I wonder if I might be living in some sort of fight club world (without the violence or operation mayhem) with the same idea of breaking down the system in ways that nobody; and I mean nobdy saw coming with the exception of Smiley and Doctor Jones.

Whether they are real or not does not matter, but when you want someone to blame for me going so far off the deep end blame them, but I will still always thank both of them from the bottom of my heart. When a revolution came knocking I couldn't resist. Could you?


lucie said...

i've met smiley a few times,
so he's definitely not just a strange character in some alternate universe of yours.

but, actually, i think he and you might both be strange characters in some alternate universe of mine.

i'm convinced that the creators of 24 took smiley as a model for jack bauer, the main character.

Lilly said...

Smiley is a dear Myth
and Jones is from Outer Space


JMinney said...

i couldn't say no

Dr. Weezil said...

Dude, I think shortly after this in 2000 I told him that I didn't buy his shit and The Revolution was a scam.

Only I could have said this...

Te'DeVan said...

I am not sure anything has been cleared up but if I can summarize. Smiley, Te'DeVan and perhaps Dr. Jones are figments of people's imagination. Furthermore Jack Bauer is based off of Smiley and all of this is completely out of control like a ferris wheel gone crazy at Fantasy Island.

Watch the latest videos on