Why Myspace is A Riot

Intially you make fun of it as some sad addiction that you will never fall prey to, but bit by bit it pulls you in. Maybe it never makes it to the point that you post for people to comment on your new pictures though in your lonliest moments it might have crossed your mind. Instant attention from a sea of people without even the slightest sort of akward rejection. I honestly have no idea how many people I have asked to be my friend. Some of them I wanted to be friends with and some I was just looking for an audience so that my bulletin board posts would reach more people. I saw people with 10,000 friends and somehow I felt that maybe I was somehow less of a person for having a mere 200 hundred friends, and recently I have gone insane and gotten a bit nostalgic. Furthermore, I reject nobody's friendship with the exception of bulletin board whores who might make me miss out on the one giant game of naked twister involving beautiful bi-sexual women who claim that they have a shortage of male participants and might cancel if one man, particularly a tall jewish man who freestyle raps and chi-g0ng heals, doesn't respond immediately (yes very unlikely, but still always possible).

But one day I believe that I will be able to use myspace for a full on revolution, and a whole nation of young people will take over the capital. That and the possibility of falling into a magical threesome with a beautiful girl named Virginia and another girl from Virginia. There are really lots of odd possibilites on myspace. Half naked girls with their legs spread that just want to be my friend. With friends like that who needs to date anymore ? and being a fairly poor nomad it is important that I have female friends like the ones found on myspace.

Myspace is also a place where I can make friends with people who I would never visit unless I was paid well or if I thought their town would survive some sort of nuclear fall-
out that was quickly approaching. But eventually myspace will fall just like friendster did before it and maybe it will be replaced by actualfriends.com when people will actually only want to have actual friends. Then people will go back out into the world and talk to strangers instead of sending each other naked pictures and sending poorly written penthouse letters back and forth. Surely there is more to life then building a larger friend list, but that which you mock most is what you inevitablely end up becoming. It is the universes or the internets silly justice. It started off innocent enough with all your friends insisting that you sign up and after enough pleas you obliged (besides secretly you wanted to and you would never let it get out of control). Before you know it you are trying to befriend the one lone survivor in a town that has been plagued by meth addiction. You are making friends with bored girls living in Nebraska, Kentucky, Hawaii and offering to fly so that you can see them. How the hell did this happen? All you wanted to do was stay in touch with your friends and do a little networking and it appears that you have gone overboard. And now you have become the person you made fun of and read forwards about. You are that fucker asking people to fill out bad surveys, pass forwards, and begging people to check out your new pictures. And yes you finally have over a thousand friends and hardly know any of them. You have started to neglect your actual friends and can't seem to pay attention to anything going around you, but deep down inside you know that you will wake up from your myspace coma and the revolution you have always envisioned will take place.

Myspace will crash just before you return to actualfriends.com and take back this country. Remember it is darkest before the light and myspace might lead to the riot revolution that you are looking for, or the one I have been looking for since I could remember.