You Ain't No Jesus

I am not sure most of you have any idea what it would be like to walk around with a sign offering to heal people. (Actually I am virtually positive that you have no idea what its like). Though I certainly do get some positive responses, I feel as if people are pissed off at me because they think that I think I am Jesus and then others are pissed off at me because I am not Jesus appearantly they have a few bones to pick with him (really with his followers, but displaced anger is much easier than yelling at a man who has not walked this earth for over 2000 years). I am currently 26 years old, and if I remember correctly, Jesus did not start manifesting the big miracles until his early 30's, and that lead to him being crucified. Sometimes I wonder if that whole cruxcifixation fear, or in more convenient terms the "Fear of success," is not something that we all have. One of the most successful men in history ended up getting killed for his success, but actually he did not die and I am sure of the fact that he was a badass mystic, meaning he was probably not that concerned about the whole procedure.

I know on the surface being born Jesus--I mean jewish (I actually did that by mistake I swear to God) and a somewhat immaculate conception (no my mom was not a virgin I just think my parents are an odd pairing) and changing my name 6 years ago to a made up word Te'DeVan (that appearantly means sheepherder in the old Hatian Creole Bible). It looks on paper that there is some promise of me being a fairly notorious mystic of sorts. I figure once I go to Israel and India that should help out on the quest. Currently I am just a messiah in the making, but all of us are messiahs in the making if we just stop fighting it and give into it. The idea of giving into endless peace and joy is very appealing to me and to most people. That is probably why alot of people choose drugs, but drugs have a down side and enlightenment has much more of an upside to it. Though enlightenment takes alot of patience and letting go of things.We live in a country where Christianity is the dominant religion, and I am totally cool with that. But so few Christians are actually followers of Christ, instead they are followers of the most charismatic bigot available on their television. Somewhere people stopped actually listening to Jesus; that is the biggest problem with Christianity. If we were truly a Christian nation following the examples of Christ nobody would ever be hungry, homeless, or not given adequate medical treatment. Jesus told us that we would do miracles just as great or greater, but that always seems to be forgotten. As people yell at me from their car that I am not Jesus, I think, "what the hell does that mean?" Does this mean that I should stop trying and if you even listened to the man he said that we would do miracles greater then him, but all some guy wants to yell is that I am not Jesus. I never said that I was and you're not Dale Earnhardt so stop driving, or Bill Gates so stop making money, or Ron Jeremy so stop have sex. People have some really awful logic in regards to why other people should not pursue their dreams especially when those dreams hold a real possibility of making other peoples' lives better. If that reasoning were truly valid nobody should do anything because there is always somebody better at it and trying to do these things would somehow be an affront to those other people that came before. Therefore people believe that you are being offensive or being some sort of wannabe/poser. Though most young people today are inclined to be more like Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds, Tom Brady and Tiger Woods. I desire to be more like Jesus/Moses/Buddha/Etc.... .Truthfully Jesus won't usually even round off the top hundred people that most young people aspire to be.

I guess looking like the western european depiction of Jesus and being born into a Jewish family and having a healing gift is just a cross that I will have to bear and I am more then willing to bear it, but every now and then I am going to vent on this blog about it. Most of the time I am a man who normally remains silent and bows while being verbally accosted and having people make wild assumptions about what I am doing. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe Jesus is working through me perhaps to help you out. Nope, that would take an open mind and thinking for oneself, and the bigot on your television told you long haired hippie people talking about chi-gong (energy cultivation) should not be trusted. Do you ever think maybe that Jesus was using chi-gong or his own various form.

I am also tired of people telling me angrily that they are fine. I never asked them if they were or were not fine, but the fact that they need to so aggressively tell me that they are fine probably means they are not. A guy did this to me once and I called him out on it and an hour later he was crying to some girl about his problems.Alot of times after I do a healing on someone they may say, well my knee does not hurt anymore, but I don't know if it worked. Nobody tells their car mechanic this sort of stupid response. The engine is running fine now, but I don't know if you fixed it. Then after saying this response they will give me a whole dollar because they are not sure if it worked. People will give their doctor thousands of dollars and thank him for doing his best even if they don't get any better. People will give me alot less than 1/10 that amount and say "It feels a little better, but I don't know if it worked" (and never visit again). In just one quick one hour visit they want everything to be completely fixed and if it is only a little better then they completely discount the whole thing. Yes, it is correct that I am not Jesus and I will not wave my hand once and fix every problem in your entire life, but I can certainly help, but the shaman in the western culture gets no love. I should have been born in a different region of the country and people would certainly accept my gift without always being so condescending about it. Not everyone is such a cynic I have had more then my fair share of grateful people, but just the fact that even one person should be such an asshole is mind blowing.

Then people ask me if the healing will be permanent as if I have control over the choices that they make. If your head hurts and I make it stop hurting and you smack your head against a wall then yes it will start hurting again. For instance when I walk by with my sign offering to heal physical,emotional and mental pain they inform even though I do not approach them that they have Jesus and therefore need no help. I am all in favor of having Jesus, but I would love for the people of this country and world to understand whoever it is that they have they also have themselves and are capable of doing these incredible miracles. Stop putting one person on a pedastal and downgrading yourself in the process. Let them serve as an example not an exception. We don't have to live in the shadow of Jesus, or any guru for that matter. They want to see us recognize our God potential. Read more carefully in your place of worship and start to think of yourself as your own messiah/guru.