The city moves faster then any other place I have ever been to in my entire life. The amount of people that come in and out of your life is beyond bizarre. You will run into women that you have been, people you have worked with, former best friends, former enemies,in the oddest and least likely moments. But each time you see these people their roles will change as will your role. I never saw so many things coming in my NYC experience though I always had a sense that something was around the corner.
Sometimes I will think about these people a couple days before I see them or even a few seconds before we run into each other. In this city you really understand how all the wrold is a stage. People will completely change in ways you could never imagine in this city with such a rapidness that used to hate you and now they date you or vice versa. There is an energy and pulse to this city that is best found on the streets and in the parks. I find that I learn so much from this city by just wandering the streets and chilling in the parks. Of course on Rainy Days Barnes & Nobles, Borders, Whole Foods,coffee shops, museums, (which I rarely do)and numerous other options. This city has more options then any other place, but people will close themselves off to the options because they are overwhelmed by the options they already have. I just go wherever the flow pulls me and wherever my friends may bring me.
This is city made for the hedonist and the romantic and especially the romantic hedonist. It is also made for those on a spiritual quest because it is one of the best places to be tempted and to been given opportunities to easily do anything or nothing at all. I find myself in a new part of this city or one of the burroughs all the time. Constantly people here are on the verge of breaking thru and there is such an excitment around it and people can smell it on other people as if it is a cologne. And at the same time there are a bunch of people who are on the verge of self destructing and others on the verge of reconstructing and some who are feeling all three.
If you have never been to NYC don't go to times square to understand this place. Times Square is a weird parallel universe that New Yorkers only go to because their friends from out of town insist or their is a broadway show. That being said I will still end up wandering up there on occassion. Times Square changes faster then almost any other part of NYC. Times Square is some weird portal for tourists to keep them occupied so that they will not annoy the regular New Yorkers. New York also has so many countries within it and is so dense with everything that you can imagine. When the city loves you the high is amazingly euphoric, and when it does not love you it can be so harsh like a scorned lover. To me New York is always a woman and is a woman I always come back to even if I see many other women in many other places. I love this woman for all of ever changing ways and all the surprises that she has for me. She always keeps me guessing and always has new things unfolding just when I think I have had all the mind blowing syncronisities that I could have in one hour she piles on some more.
I was born here, but never felt the pull of it until I graduated college. It was a birthplace I had never really known calling me back to know the place of my birth. There are reasons I was born here, but kept away from it at the same time. I have embraced the fast changes of this city and I have become one with this place interlaced deeply in the fabric of this place even when I am away.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Everything Is Just Drifting
A couple of days ago it really occurred to me that everything around me had no real permance and that everything was not really what it seemed. I know that every guru, master or wiseman has said this, but it really hit me and actually made me slightly uncomfortable for a moment. Then I froze and allowed myself to be taken into the present moment and realize that nobody ever leaves your life. Their energetic imprint will always be there and you will be able to feel them no matter how far away they may be. It is truly one moment a mere blink of an eye and despite moments that never seem to end that are filled with an undescribable pain it fades so fast. All of this fades fast and that is why it is so important to appreciate it for what it is and to know that nothing will be as it was, only as it is. Accepting this simple fact makes life wonderful. Fighting this simple fact can make life torturous. You have to decide that you want to be at peace with yourself and everything that happens around you.
We know this to be a good way to live, but the mind will fight us on this every step of the way. Take the time and focus on improving your life and stop complaining about other people's lives. Life is something that is lived thru us and it is to be experienced not being spent on focusing on a day that may never come. We all come to this conclusion eventually. I have realized it early on and I want to positively touch as many people as possible as I drift from place to place yet still see the same face of the human race and feeling the undescriable grace that we all possess even if we neglect.
I constantly wake up in a new bed, new floor, new couch, new city, new state, new country and things are completely different around me yet none of this matters because I have a trust. I have trust that is overwhelming to most people and is something that people can see when they look at me and I see the same thing when I look at them. Where you will be now and where you will be 3 years from now after reading this and what it will mean to you at different times.
Different times we see things that previously never existed, but it was always there or maybe the timing was off people constantly feel that they were born 30, 70, or even a couple hundred years too late. We try to relive things that are already living and that never actually go away. Jazz, Jeans, and Jesus things that are somewhat timeless to me, but I am always told they are going in or out of style. We immerse ourself in one thing only to return to the things we loved as 5 year olds when we desired to be grown-ups only to realize that when you reach adulthood you lose touch with magic and all of the things that would make being an adult fun. And yet still we drift from different life fazes and social crazes and rat mazes and to some it is big haze and to others it is clear as the sun breaking at day.
I Cock a doodle doo with the best of them and kiss the night spirits of new and old times meshed in the time of now. I have come around to only return to where I started and now I truly know that despite my drifting I never parted. Somewhere I am still in foreign countries, in college as a freshmen, in highschool being akward, on a beach making love, out the street freestyle rapping, listening to amazing street musicians in the subway, wandering around the desert. All of this drifts into one never ending drift that has always been and will always be everything and nothing. Those with nothing give you everything, those with everything will give you nothing and all of this makes me think about something. And that "thing" is drifting and look forward to continue seeing all of you drifting on down the stream.
We know this to be a good way to live, but the mind will fight us on this every step of the way. Take the time and focus on improving your life and stop complaining about other people's lives. Life is something that is lived thru us and it is to be experienced not being spent on focusing on a day that may never come. We all come to this conclusion eventually. I have realized it early on and I want to positively touch as many people as possible as I drift from place to place yet still see the same face of the human race and feeling the undescriable grace that we all possess even if we neglect.
I constantly wake up in a new bed, new floor, new couch, new city, new state, new country and things are completely different around me yet none of this matters because I have a trust. I have trust that is overwhelming to most people and is something that people can see when they look at me and I see the same thing when I look at them. Where you will be now and where you will be 3 years from now after reading this and what it will mean to you at different times.
Different times we see things that previously never existed, but it was always there or maybe the timing was off people constantly feel that they were born 30, 70, or even a couple hundred years too late. We try to relive things that are already living and that never actually go away. Jazz, Jeans, and Jesus things that are somewhat timeless to me, but I am always told they are going in or out of style. We immerse ourself in one thing only to return to the things we loved as 5 year olds when we desired to be grown-ups only to realize that when you reach adulthood you lose touch with magic and all of the things that would make being an adult fun. And yet still we drift from different life fazes and social crazes and rat mazes and to some it is big haze and to others it is clear as the sun breaking at day.
I Cock a doodle doo with the best of them and kiss the night spirits of new and old times meshed in the time of now. I have come around to only return to where I started and now I truly know that despite my drifting I never parted. Somewhere I am still in foreign countries, in college as a freshmen, in highschool being akward, on a beach making love, out the street freestyle rapping, listening to amazing street musicians in the subway, wandering around the desert. All of this drifts into one never ending drift that has always been and will always be everything and nothing. Those with nothing give you everything, those with everything will give you nothing and all of this makes me think about something. And that "thing" is drifting and look forward to continue seeing all of you drifting on down the stream.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Having Sex with Turtles is alot like My Life
Yes this is maybe one of the better titles for any of my blogs thus far. Something about turtles fascinates me, but not to the point that I am sexually aroused by them, but certainly they are on my mind quite a bit. Everytime I see a turtle I get excited even more so then any attractive girl winking at me. Just the very idea of sex with turtles is much more unique then sex with pigs, dogs, horses, and sheep (Woody Allen already spoofed it quite well). When I think of it I start laughing and feeling that there is some wonderous and beautiful symbolism about sex with turtles. It would be such an akward thing to participate in, but life is an akward thing to participate in. Everyday I have some of the oddest conversations and interactions that most people could imagine. Yet, these odd interactions form the foundation of my entire life. I believe myself an absurdist in the finest sense of the word. I always tell people I spent 9 months trying to get out of my mothers womb and then last 26 years trying to get back in. But the turtle has this built in shell to protect itself from everything. Where hell is my built in shell.
I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.
I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.
I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.
I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Slacker Prophet Videos
Slacker Prophet's Bid for Presidency
On Professional Couch Surfing
On "Indecent" Exposure
Dead Dinosaurs and Mars
6'7" Jewish Secret Service
Services Charges
On Professional Couch Surfing
On "Indecent" Exposure
Dead Dinosaurs and Mars
6'7" Jewish Secret Service
Services Charges
Friday, April 14, 2006
You Ain't No Jesus
I am not sure most of you have any idea what it would be like to walk around with a sign offering to heal people. (Actually I am virtually positive that you have no idea what its like). Though I certainly do get some positive responses, I feel as if people are pissed off at me because they think that I think I am Jesus and then others are pissed off at me because I am not Jesus appearantly they have a few bones to pick with him (really with his followers, but displaced anger is much easier than yelling at a man who has not walked this earth for over 2000 years). I am currently 26 years old, and if I remember correctly, Jesus did not start manifesting the big miracles until his early 30's, and that lead to him being crucified. Sometimes I wonder if that whole cruxcifixation fear, or in more convenient terms the "Fear of success," is not something that we all have. One of the most successful men in history ended up getting killed for his success, but actually he did not die and I am sure of the fact that he was a badass mystic, meaning he was probably not that concerned about the whole procedure.
I know on the surface being born Jesus--I mean jewish (I actually did that by mistake I swear to God) and a somewhat immaculate conception (no my mom was not a virgin I just think my parents are an odd pairing) and changing my name 6 years ago to a made up word Te'DeVan (that appearantly means sheepherder in the old Hatian Creole Bible). It looks on paper that there is some promise of me being a fairly notorious mystic of sorts. I figure once I go to Israel and India that should help out on the quest. Currently I am just a messiah in the making, but all of us are messiahs in the making if we just stop fighting it and give into it. The idea of giving into endless peace and joy is very appealing to me and to most people. That is probably why alot of people choose drugs, but drugs have a down side and enlightenment has much more of an upside to it. Though enlightenment takes alot of patience and letting go of things.We live in a country where Christianity is the dominant religion, and I am totally cool with that. But so few Christians are actually followers of Christ, instead they are followers of the most charismatic bigot available on their television. Somewhere people stopped actually listening to Jesus; that is the biggest problem with Christianity. If we were truly a Christian nation following the examples of Christ nobody would ever be hungry, homeless, or not given adequate medical treatment. Jesus told us that we would do miracles just as great or greater, but that always seems to be forgotten. As people yell at me from their car that I am not Jesus, I think, "what the hell does that mean?" Does this mean that I should stop trying and if you even listened to the man he said that we would do miracles greater then him, but all some guy wants to yell is that I am not Jesus. I never said that I was and you're not Dale Earnhardt so stop driving, or Bill Gates so stop making money, or Ron Jeremy so stop have sex. People have some really awful logic in regards to why other people should not pursue their dreams especially when those dreams hold a real possibility of making other peoples' lives better. If that reasoning were truly valid nobody should do anything because there is always somebody better at it and trying to do these things would somehow be an affront to those other people that came before. Therefore people believe that you are being offensive or being some sort of wannabe/poser. Though most young people today are inclined to be more like Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds, Tom Brady and Tiger Woods. I desire to be more like Jesus/Moses/Buddha/Etc.... .Truthfully Jesus won't usually even round off the top hundred people that most young people aspire to be.
I guess looking like the western european depiction of Jesus and being born into a Jewish family and having a healing gift is just a cross that I will have to bear and I am more then willing to bear it, but every now and then I am going to vent on this blog about it. Most of the time I am a man who normally remains silent and bows while being verbally accosted and having people make wild assumptions about what I am doing. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe Jesus is working through me perhaps to help you out. Nope, that would take an open mind and thinking for oneself, and the bigot on your television told you long haired hippie people talking about chi-gong (energy cultivation) should not be trusted. Do you ever think maybe that Jesus was using chi-gong or his own various form.
I am also tired of people telling me angrily that they are fine. I never asked them if they were or were not fine, but the fact that they need to so aggressively tell me that they are fine probably means they are not. A guy did this to me once and I called him out on it and an hour later he was crying to some girl about his problems.Alot of times after I do a healing on someone they may say, well my knee does not hurt anymore, but I don't know if it worked. Nobody tells their car mechanic this sort of stupid response. The engine is running fine now, but I don't know if you fixed it. Then after saying this response they will give me a whole dollar because they are not sure if it worked. People will give their doctor thousands of dollars and thank him for doing his best even if they don't get any better. People will give me alot less than 1/10 that amount and say "It feels a little better, but I don't know if it worked" (and never visit again). In just one quick one hour visit they want everything to be completely fixed and if it is only a little better then they completely discount the whole thing. Yes, it is correct that I am not Jesus and I will not wave my hand once and fix every problem in your entire life, but I can certainly help, but the shaman in the western culture gets no love. I should have been born in a different region of the country and people would certainly accept my gift without always being so condescending about it. Not everyone is such a cynic I have had more then my fair share of grateful people, but just the fact that even one person should be such an asshole is mind blowing.
Then people ask me if the healing will be permanent as if I have control over the choices that they make. If your head hurts and I make it stop hurting and you smack your head against a wall then yes it will start hurting again. For instance when I walk by with my sign offering to heal physical,emotional and mental pain they inform even though I do not approach them that they have Jesus and therefore need no help. I am all in favor of having Jesus, but I would love for the people of this country and world to understand whoever it is that they have they also have themselves and are capable of doing these incredible miracles. Stop putting one person on a pedastal and downgrading yourself in the process. Let them serve as an example not an exception. We don't have to live in the shadow of Jesus, or any guru for that matter. They want to see us recognize our God potential. Read more carefully in your place of worship and start to think of yourself as your own messiah/guru.
I know on the surface being born Jesus--I mean jewish (I actually did that by mistake I swear to God) and a somewhat immaculate conception (no my mom was not a virgin I just think my parents are an odd pairing) and changing my name 6 years ago to a made up word Te'DeVan (that appearantly means sheepherder in the old Hatian Creole Bible). It looks on paper that there is some promise of me being a fairly notorious mystic of sorts. I figure once I go to Israel and India that should help out on the quest. Currently I am just a messiah in the making, but all of us are messiahs in the making if we just stop fighting it and give into it. The idea of giving into endless peace and joy is very appealing to me and to most people. That is probably why alot of people choose drugs, but drugs have a down side and enlightenment has much more of an upside to it. Though enlightenment takes alot of patience and letting go of things.We live in a country where Christianity is the dominant religion, and I am totally cool with that. But so few Christians are actually followers of Christ, instead they are followers of the most charismatic bigot available on their television. Somewhere people stopped actually listening to Jesus; that is the biggest problem with Christianity. If we were truly a Christian nation following the examples of Christ nobody would ever be hungry, homeless, or not given adequate medical treatment. Jesus told us that we would do miracles just as great or greater, but that always seems to be forgotten. As people yell at me from their car that I am not Jesus, I think, "what the hell does that mean?" Does this mean that I should stop trying and if you even listened to the man he said that we would do miracles greater then him, but all some guy wants to yell is that I am not Jesus. I never said that I was and you're not Dale Earnhardt so stop driving, or Bill Gates so stop making money, or Ron Jeremy so stop have sex. People have some really awful logic in regards to why other people should not pursue their dreams especially when those dreams hold a real possibility of making other peoples' lives better. If that reasoning were truly valid nobody should do anything because there is always somebody better at it and trying to do these things would somehow be an affront to those other people that came before. Therefore people believe that you are being offensive or being some sort of wannabe/poser. Though most young people today are inclined to be more like Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds, Tom Brady and Tiger Woods. I desire to be more like Jesus/Moses/Buddha/Etc.... .Truthfully Jesus won't usually even round off the top hundred people that most young people aspire to be.
I guess looking like the western european depiction of Jesus and being born into a Jewish family and having a healing gift is just a cross that I will have to bear and I am more then willing to bear it, but every now and then I am going to vent on this blog about it. Most of the time I am a man who normally remains silent and bows while being verbally accosted and having people make wild assumptions about what I am doing. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe Jesus is working through me perhaps to help you out. Nope, that would take an open mind and thinking for oneself, and the bigot on your television told you long haired hippie people talking about chi-gong (energy cultivation) should not be trusted. Do you ever think maybe that Jesus was using chi-gong or his own various form.
I am also tired of people telling me angrily that they are fine. I never asked them if they were or were not fine, but the fact that they need to so aggressively tell me that they are fine probably means they are not. A guy did this to me once and I called him out on it and an hour later he was crying to some girl about his problems.Alot of times after I do a healing on someone they may say, well my knee does not hurt anymore, but I don't know if it worked. Nobody tells their car mechanic this sort of stupid response. The engine is running fine now, but I don't know if you fixed it. Then after saying this response they will give me a whole dollar because they are not sure if it worked. People will give their doctor thousands of dollars and thank him for doing his best even if they don't get any better. People will give me alot less than 1/10 that amount and say "It feels a little better, but I don't know if it worked" (and never visit again). In just one quick one hour visit they want everything to be completely fixed and if it is only a little better then they completely discount the whole thing. Yes, it is correct that I am not Jesus and I will not wave my hand once and fix every problem in your entire life, but I can certainly help, but the shaman in the western culture gets no love. I should have been born in a different region of the country and people would certainly accept my gift without always being so condescending about it. Not everyone is such a cynic I have had more then my fair share of grateful people, but just the fact that even one person should be such an asshole is mind blowing.
Then people ask me if the healing will be permanent as if I have control over the choices that they make. If your head hurts and I make it stop hurting and you smack your head against a wall then yes it will start hurting again. For instance when I walk by with my sign offering to heal physical,emotional and mental pain they inform even though I do not approach them that they have Jesus and therefore need no help. I am all in favor of having Jesus, but I would love for the people of this country and world to understand whoever it is that they have they also have themselves and are capable of doing these incredible miracles. Stop putting one person on a pedastal and downgrading yourself in the process. Let them serve as an example not an exception. We don't have to live in the shadow of Jesus, or any guru for that matter. They want to see us recognize our God potential. Read more carefully in your place of worship and start to think of yourself as your own messiah/guru.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Sex With Turtles Is Alot Like My Life
Yes this is maybe one of the better titles for any of my blogs thus far. Something about turtles fascinates me, but not to the point that I am sexually aroused by them, but certainly they are on my mind quite a bit. Everytime I see a turtle I get excited even more so then any attractive girl winking at me. Just the very idea of sex with turtles is much more unique then sex with pigs, dogs, horses, and sheep (Woody Allen already spoofed it quite well). When I think of it I start laughing and feeling that there is some wonderous and beautiful symbolism about sex with turtles. It would be such an akward thing to participate in, but life is an akward thing to participate in. Everyday I have some of the oddest conversations and interactions that most people could imagine. Yet, these odd interactions form the foundation of my entire life. I believe myself an absurdist in the finest sense of the word. I always tell people I spent 9 months trying to get out of my mothers womb and then last 26 years trying to get back in. But the turtle has this built in shell to protect itself from everything. Where hell is my built in shell.
I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.
I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.
I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.
I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Why Myspace is A Riot
Intially you make fun of it as some sad addiction that you will never fall prey to, but bit by bit it pulls you in. Maybe it never makes it to the point that you post for people to comment on your new pictures though in your lonliest moments it might have crossed your mind. Instant attention from a sea of people without even the slightest sort of akward rejection. I honestly have no idea how many people I have asked to be my friend. Some of them I wanted to be friends with and some I was just looking for an audience so that my bulletin board posts would reach more people. I saw people with 10,000 friends and somehow I felt that maybe I was somehow less of a person for having a mere 200 hundred friends, and recently I have gone insane and gotten a bit nostalgic. Furthermore, I reject nobody's friendship with the exception of bulletin board whores who might make me miss out on the one giant game of naked twister involving beautiful bi-sexual women who claim that they have a shortage of male participants and might cancel if one man, particularly a tall jewish man who freestyle raps and chi-g0ng heals, doesn't respond immediately (yes very unlikely, but still always possible).
But one day I believe that I will be able to use myspace for a full on revolution, and a whole nation of young people will take over the capital. That and the possibility of falling into a magical threesome with a beautiful girl named Virginia and another girl from Virginia. There are really lots of odd possibilites on myspace. Half naked girls with their legs spread that just want to be my friend. With friends like that who needs to date anymore ? and being a fairly poor nomad it is important that I have female friends like the ones found on myspace.
Myspace is also a place where I can make friends with people who I would never visit unless I was paid well or if I thought their town would survive some sort of nuclear fall-
out that was quickly approaching. But eventually myspace will fall just like friendster did before it and maybe it will be replaced by actualfriends.com when people will actually only want to have actual friends. Then people will go back out into the world and talk to strangers instead of sending each other naked pictures and sending poorly written penthouse letters back and forth. Surely there is more to life then building a larger friend list, but that which you mock most is what you inevitablely end up becoming. It is the universes or the internets silly justice. It started off innocent enough with all your friends insisting that you sign up and after enough pleas you obliged (besides secretly you wanted to and you would never let it get out of control). Before you know it you are trying to befriend the one lone survivor in a town that has been plagued by meth addiction. You are making friends with bored girls living in Nebraska, Kentucky, Hawaii and offering to fly so that you can see them. How the hell did this happen? All you wanted to do was stay in touch with your friends and do a little networking and it appears that you have gone overboard. And now you have become the person you made fun of and read forwards about. You are that fucker asking people to fill out bad surveys, pass forwards, and begging people to check out your new pictures. And yes you finally have over a thousand friends and hardly know any of them. You have started to neglect your actual friends and can't seem to pay attention to anything going around you, but deep down inside you know that you will wake up from your myspace coma and the revolution you have always envisioned will take place.
Myspace will crash just before you return to actualfriends.com and take back this country. Remember it is darkest before the light and myspace might lead to the riot revolution that you are looking for, or the one I have been looking for since I could remember.
But one day I believe that I will be able to use myspace for a full on revolution, and a whole nation of young people will take over the capital. That and the possibility of falling into a magical threesome with a beautiful girl named Virginia and another girl from Virginia. There are really lots of odd possibilites on myspace. Half naked girls with their legs spread that just want to be my friend. With friends like that who needs to date anymore ? and being a fairly poor nomad it is important that I have female friends like the ones found on myspace.
Myspace is also a place where I can make friends with people who I would never visit unless I was paid well or if I thought their town would survive some sort of nuclear fall-
out that was quickly approaching. But eventually myspace will fall just like friendster did before it and maybe it will be replaced by actualfriends.com when people will actually only want to have actual friends. Then people will go back out into the world and talk to strangers instead of sending each other naked pictures and sending poorly written penthouse letters back and forth. Surely there is more to life then building a larger friend list, but that which you mock most is what you inevitablely end up becoming. It is the universes or the internets silly justice. It started off innocent enough with all your friends insisting that you sign up and after enough pleas you obliged (besides secretly you wanted to and you would never let it get out of control). Before you know it you are trying to befriend the one lone survivor in a town that has been plagued by meth addiction. You are making friends with bored girls living in Nebraska, Kentucky, Hawaii and offering to fly so that you can see them. How the hell did this happen? All you wanted to do was stay in touch with your friends and do a little networking and it appears that you have gone overboard. And now you have become the person you made fun of and read forwards about. You are that fucker asking people to fill out bad surveys, pass forwards, and begging people to check out your new pictures. And yes you finally have over a thousand friends and hardly know any of them. You have started to neglect your actual friends and can't seem to pay attention to anything going around you, but deep down inside you know that you will wake up from your myspace coma and the revolution you have always envisioned will take place.
Myspace will crash just before you return to actualfriends.com and take back this country. Remember it is darkest before the light and myspace might lead to the riot revolution that you are looking for, or the one I have been looking for since I could remember.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Everywhere You Go There is Someone You Know
I must say if there is anything that makes it easier for me to travel around the country and a little bit overseas is that I always run into someone I know or someone who recognizes me from another place. This makes it alot easier to do what I do.
When you are stranger people sometimes act strange and even may stare at you suspciously until they see you enough that you become familiar. One of the funniest things is sometimes in one city somebody will never talk to me, yet in a different city we will end up talking for hours. All of sudden in a new city I become the only normal thing. Knowing people also helps you to feel like the world is not so large that it can't be navigated, but it takes time to get to this point, but it is much quicker then you think as long as you keep yourself in the moment. Sometimes people have heard about me and this reference point makes it a bit easier to establish contact.
I love to see how people are connected to each other and how people you know from 2 different countries 5 years ago end up dating each other briefly in San Diego (My Friend Laura from Michigan and Darren from Barcelona). One of the fascinating things to me is how we can go between so many differnt worlds with the characters and the stages change, but the flow of life remains the same.
Of course there are times when no one has even heard about me, but often, they have a vibe about them that reminds me of a friend or I have a vibe about me that reminds them of one of their friends. When allow ourselves to trust this instinct and follow it thru we will feel a very rewarding sense of connection and usually end up making a new friend who seems like an old one.
We all have a road to travel and adventures to be had and I promise wherever you go if you remain open there will be someone you know. Whether you actually know them or just have a vague idea of them there is always a possibility for a profound connection to be made as long as you remain open even if they intially give you a hard time remain open and they will eventually do the same as well.
We all friends, family, and doppleganglers that have yet to be met. We just merely need to extend ourselves and allow our intution to guide us and then we shall see that everywhere we go there will be someone we know.
When you are stranger people sometimes act strange and even may stare at you suspciously until they see you enough that you become familiar. One of the funniest things is sometimes in one city somebody will never talk to me, yet in a different city we will end up talking for hours. All of sudden in a new city I become the only normal thing. Knowing people also helps you to feel like the world is not so large that it can't be navigated, but it takes time to get to this point, but it is much quicker then you think as long as you keep yourself in the moment. Sometimes people have heard about me and this reference point makes it a bit easier to establish contact.
I love to see how people are connected to each other and how people you know from 2 different countries 5 years ago end up dating each other briefly in San Diego (My Friend Laura from Michigan and Darren from Barcelona). One of the fascinating things to me is how we can go between so many differnt worlds with the characters and the stages change, but the flow of life remains the same.
Of course there are times when no one has even heard about me, but often, they have a vibe about them that reminds me of a friend or I have a vibe about me that reminds them of one of their friends. When allow ourselves to trust this instinct and follow it thru we will feel a very rewarding sense of connection and usually end up making a new friend who seems like an old one.
We all have a road to travel and adventures to be had and I promise wherever you go if you remain open there will be someone you know. Whether you actually know them or just have a vague idea of them there is always a possibility for a profound connection to be made as long as you remain open even if they intially give you a hard time remain open and they will eventually do the same as well.
We all friends, family, and doppleganglers that have yet to be met. We just merely need to extend ourselves and allow our intution to guide us and then we shall see that everywhere we go there will be someone we know.
Monday, April 03, 2006
I have A Confession To Make
I am secretly and have always been a Republican, but after hearing my friend Reverend Steve's view of the disfunctions of a Republican (None of which qualified for AYKMA) I felt akward about coming out of the closet. Yet I figured since he was a Reverend I would have his full support and he would not make any assumptions. The one main area where I truly qualify as a Republican is fiscal responsibility. Many of the remaining views I have may be seen as "liberal", but really, using fiscal responsibility as the true calling card of a Republican I can justify all of my supposed "liberal" viewpoints as any "true" Republican should agree with me if they were any good at being Republicans. Fiscal responsibility first and foremost.
Here are the issues and here is how a Fiscally Responsible Republican should view them
Gay Marriage: Completely in favor of this idea because the amount of money that will be put into the economy thru all the extra weddings that will take place. Got to figure that 2 brides would spend twice as much. Also, selling more marriage licenses would help local and state budgets. And lets face it - marriage just ain't the same as it used to be. Heck, I'm already on wife three and maybe working on four. It is more of a temporary lease than a commitment.
War In Iraq: We are spending way too much money with no end in a sight and they are on the verge of a civil war. Even if we steal most of their oil this is a bad financial move. We are bleeding uncontrollably in terms of dollars spent.
George Bush: How the hell did this GOP disaster take place. He knows nothing about money he never had to earn it and every time he messed up somebody would bail him out. I think his father for the benefit of economic stability should do the country a favor and have one of his buddies in the CIA bump him off. It would save the taxpayers a lot of money in the long run.
Gun Control: In favor of more money being given to us and selling more expensive licenses so it becomes more of an activity for my pals at the country club. Also the thousands of lives lost each year is a lot of lost labor for the economy. Furthermore, when you put the growing lawsuits towards the gun manfacturers, it is best if we clamp down before they run out of money to lobby us with.
Prayer In School: Against it until the school shows they can educate the kids. There is no time for praying until they prove that they can learn first and then we can talk about praying. Our old football coach forbid us from getting laid until we won a game during out biggest losing streak. We then started having our biggest winning streak. Lets give these people a little incentive here.
Decriminializing Pot: Very in favor of this. All the founders used to blaze plus I have been known to steal my kids pot from time to time. There is a whole boat load of money to be made here plus too much money is spent on putting people in prison. I am tired of pissing away money to lock up pot heads. Much easier to remind people to put locks on their kitchen cabinet and it is much more affordable.
Welfare: In favor of this and I used to be against it, but studies show that people who have been eating consistently throughout their lives make much better workers then people who only eat on occassion. This is a way to improve the work force and improve the quality of workers on the bench.
Nuclear Aresnal: To immediately stop and decease building. They just sit around collecting dust. I told my son once that if he did not go out and get some that I was going to cut it off. Then he got an STD and there were lots of medical bills involved. So we can't use them either because it is also too costly. They are basically worthless. Relics of a time past this money could be used towards teaching my kid to wear a condom.
Here are the issues and here is how a Fiscally Responsible Republican should view them
Gay Marriage: Completely in favor of this idea because the amount of money that will be put into the economy thru all the extra weddings that will take place. Got to figure that 2 brides would spend twice as much. Also, selling more marriage licenses would help local and state budgets. And lets face it - marriage just ain't the same as it used to be. Heck, I'm already on wife three and maybe working on four. It is more of a temporary lease than a commitment.
War In Iraq: We are spending way too much money with no end in a sight and they are on the verge of a civil war. Even if we steal most of their oil this is a bad financial move. We are bleeding uncontrollably in terms of dollars spent.
George Bush: How the hell did this GOP disaster take place. He knows nothing about money he never had to earn it and every time he messed up somebody would bail him out. I think his father for the benefit of economic stability should do the country a favor and have one of his buddies in the CIA bump him off. It would save the taxpayers a lot of money in the long run.
Gun Control: In favor of more money being given to us and selling more expensive licenses so it becomes more of an activity for my pals at the country club. Also the thousands of lives lost each year is a lot of lost labor for the economy. Furthermore, when you put the growing lawsuits towards the gun manfacturers, it is best if we clamp down before they run out of money to lobby us with.
Prayer In School: Against it until the school shows they can educate the kids. There is no time for praying until they prove that they can learn first and then we can talk about praying. Our old football coach forbid us from getting laid until we won a game during out biggest losing streak. We then started having our biggest winning streak. Lets give these people a little incentive here.
Decriminializing Pot: Very in favor of this. All the founders used to blaze plus I have been known to steal my kids pot from time to time. There is a whole boat load of money to be made here plus too much money is spent on putting people in prison. I am tired of pissing away money to lock up pot heads. Much easier to remind people to put locks on their kitchen cabinet and it is much more affordable.
Welfare: In favor of this and I used to be against it, but studies show that people who have been eating consistently throughout their lives make much better workers then people who only eat on occassion. This is a way to improve the work force and improve the quality of workers on the bench.
Nuclear Aresnal: To immediately stop and decease building. They just sit around collecting dust. I told my son once that if he did not go out and get some that I was going to cut it off. Then he got an STD and there were lots of medical bills involved. So we can't use them either because it is also too costly. They are basically worthless. Relics of a time past this money could be used towards teaching my kid to wear a condom.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Life Is Truly A Numbers Game
Every so Often I have had some guy tell me that he has seen me with alot of attractive women (and yes there is actually some truth to this statement), but if you met as many women as I do then you would also be seen with alot of attractive women. I have a great deal more free time then most people and I also have much less social phobia then the average person therefore I meet an insane amount of people and about half the population is women.Therefore, if you meet enough women some of them are bound to be attractive. It is simply a numbers game, my friends.
People tell me that I am a pseudo-celebrity. This is not because of a public relations company or massive television exposure (three shows don't really count as massive) this is because I have met alot of people and walked by even more people with my giant signs "6 foot 7 inch jew will freestyle rap for you" and "Get Healed Now Stress, Physical, and emotional pain ch'i-gong spiritual healings". If you did this you would also be some weird sort of pseudo-celebirty. I also have alot of free time because I do not have a traditional job and this is what I love to do with my free time. This is based on the mileage that I walk and hands that I shake and people that I bow to. People this is simply a numbers game as well.
People believe in my healing gift because I have most likely done a healing session on them or their friend. I have done over 15,000 healings in the last 4 and half years. If you were a healer and did that many healings people would know about your healing gift as well. Folks it is a simply numbers game as I stated earlier. The reason why I am telling you this is to encourage to keeping doing whatever is you love doing as often as possible and eventually you too will become quite well known for it. The more attempts you have the more you will be successful. If you think that most men or women do not find you desirable. Say your batting average is 1 out of a 100 then make sure you approach a hundred people or two hundred people for that matter. Approach 10,000 people and you could end up going out with a 100 people a year. That means approaching 30 people a day (I actually probably talk to at least 3 or 4 times that amount in one Manhattan day), which is much easier then you realize if really want to do it. As long as you want you keep attempting and you are very likely to get it. Keep flipping a coin enough times you are bound to see it land on tails quite often. In life there are usually many more sides to the coin, but all that means is that you should flip it more often.
In conclusion we know that everything is made up of numbers but we have an ability to forget this fact and think that if we try 3 times that we expect to get it perfect in those three attempts. The more attempts you try the better your numbers will be. In life nobody cares about your batting average they are only interested in your hits and homeruns. So keep playing those numbers my friends and watch your notoriety and overall success expand exponentially.
Be completely relentless in the amount of attempts and you will be amazed in the amount of successes. You remember your successes much more then your failures. Or at least I do when I tell people stories though certain failures can be pretty funny and just as enjoyable. Humiliation is good for the soul so don't be so mortified about getting shot down just keep playing the numbers game and watch it pay dividens
People tell me that I am a pseudo-celebrity. This is not because of a public relations company or massive television exposure (three shows don't really count as massive) this is because I have met alot of people and walked by even more people with my giant signs "6 foot 7 inch jew will freestyle rap for you" and "Get Healed Now Stress, Physical, and emotional pain ch'i-gong spiritual healings". If you did this you would also be some weird sort of pseudo-celebirty. I also have alot of free time because I do not have a traditional job and this is what I love to do with my free time. This is based on the mileage that I walk and hands that I shake and people that I bow to. People this is simply a numbers game as well.
People believe in my healing gift because I have most likely done a healing session on them or their friend. I have done over 15,000 healings in the last 4 and half years. If you were a healer and did that many healings people would know about your healing gift as well. Folks it is a simply numbers game as I stated earlier. The reason why I am telling you this is to encourage to keeping doing whatever is you love doing as often as possible and eventually you too will become quite well known for it. The more attempts you have the more you will be successful. If you think that most men or women do not find you desirable. Say your batting average is 1 out of a 100 then make sure you approach a hundred people or two hundred people for that matter. Approach 10,000 people and you could end up going out with a 100 people a year. That means approaching 30 people a day (I actually probably talk to at least 3 or 4 times that amount in one Manhattan day), which is much easier then you realize if really want to do it. As long as you want you keep attempting and you are very likely to get it. Keep flipping a coin enough times you are bound to see it land on tails quite often. In life there are usually many more sides to the coin, but all that means is that you should flip it more often.
In conclusion we know that everything is made up of numbers but we have an ability to forget this fact and think that if we try 3 times that we expect to get it perfect in those three attempts. The more attempts you try the better your numbers will be. In life nobody cares about your batting average they are only interested in your hits and homeruns. So keep playing those numbers my friends and watch your notoriety and overall success expand exponentially.
Be completely relentless in the amount of attempts and you will be amazed in the amount of successes. You remember your successes much more then your failures. Or at least I do when I tell people stories though certain failures can be pretty funny and just as enjoyable. Humiliation is good for the soul so don't be so mortified about getting shot down just keep playing the numbers game and watch it pay dividens
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