Tuesday, March 21, 2006

My Emotions About A Girl

So much of my everyday conversational life, stories, and writings are inspired by women. That being said I decided to post an e-mail that I had sent to a girl that I met in the Fall of 2005. Below are my feelings that she has helped bring towards the surface. Here is the e-mail that I sent her in its entirity.

Good to hear you had such a growth spurt. I am really loving Stanford and all these people think I go to School here, but others know better. I met another 6 foot 7 inch jew here named Matt. He is like my younger brother from a different mother. I am listening to Bob Dylan and have been gaining a deeper and deeper love of Miles Davis. I am also working on being more humble and a bit less arrogant. I am trying to be less defensive and I am getting pretty good at it. I want to be accessible and genuine at all times. I don't want to have any walls around me. I am working on tearing down my walls and lettting go of a past that is not now and letting go of a future that is not here and being immersed in this moment. In this moment I pour words on to a computer that at some point you will be reading and feel where I am coming from and where I am heading.

The question of the direction that we are going is always our favorite question for people to ask us. In some sense I know where I have been and in other ways I have no idea, but for what ever reason I hand you my emotions to do with them as you will. You are my muse the one I see myself in and with even if I am geographically far away. I want to be with you in NYC in some large absurd pad just listening to music and watching the craziness of the city pass on by. I will know you for all my days for I already have known you for all the days before we met and when I saw you it jogged some semblance of previous memories that I can't quite pinpoint, but these memories are more real then any of the nonsense that people fill their days with. We are all just someone's dream all just intermingling. Wherever I go; no matter what you think you are in my being and you have left an imprint that will not fade. I can only hope the same on your end, but that is merely a fear of unrequited feelings. Healings are my favorite dealings and you can heal too and as time moves on you will understand that more and more. It is not something I say lightly nor something that I expect you to completely accept or embrace. There is no need to ever do anything to get my attention. Just your voice or word does it completely.
from the ever PRESENT NOW,


The More Loving One said...

somewhere along the lines
someone said that crazy was a bad thing
someone said that weird meant different
and different meant dissension
and dissension was a bad thing.

weird is beautiful.

so what's that make you?


pure genius.

Te'DeVan said...

Thanx for the love I really appreciate it. This whole letting go thing is not easy, but it gets easier. When you get a chance checkout the final page of the swimsuit issue of sports illustrated. I had an intutuion to grab it and turned right to the last page. The article is intense and quite a surprise.

Little parks in big cities have lead me on many amazing adventures

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