Sometimes you just hsve to go for it without fully realizing or knowing what it is that you are going for. You have to realize you are being pointed in a certain direction. By allowing yourself to move into that direction, you will be given an opportunity to grow beyond your limits and beyond your comfort. You may feel scared or a little uneasy about taking such a leap, but sticking to everything you know won't help you grow. I recognize that I have a pattern of being drawn to women that never say yes or no, only maybe, and I don't know if they want to grow so eventually I have to let them go. In that letting go for me is a liberation because there is a part of my own mind that does not know if it fully wants to allow me to grow. I do not find it beneficial to fight the feelings that I have, I must merely allow them to pass through me like waves and not react to any of them, merely experience them. I allow the woman I am with to experience herself and just remain present without feeling the need to say or do anything- without feeling that I need to change or fix something. I just need to more deeply submerge myself in my own peace and find a deeper reservoir of love within my own being. We keep walking down a certain road until that road has taught all that it can.
As I sit here in Aspen, Colorado I recognize people come into our lives to act as a push in order to move us in a certain direction. They are merely a piece of our own individual puzzle. They are aspects of divinity helping us to awaken. All of us are here to awaken, and romantic relationships quite often act as catalyst for that awakening. Within these relationships will be vast amounts of both pleasure and pain. Yet, if we stay grounded to the ultimate source--never looking to one person to fill us--then we will feel a greater level of contentment. We place too much attention on one piece of the puzzle when romantic feelings become involved and neglect the whole puzzle. We must strive never to neglect the entire puzzle, and in that way we will be guided to perfectly place that one piece of the puzzle.