Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Mind always Wants to Escape

Though I have made alot of progress in taming my mind from dominating my life I still find at times that it still has a strong momentum from previous years and yearns to feel superior/inferior and many other emotions that keep me in cycles that keep me repeating the same story lines that stop me from feeling myself fully present and in the zone. Looking to the future is something that can often be a distraction from fully appreciating the present moment even if this moment holds discomfort. I had a recent moment in Dolores Park with a few of my best buddies from Stanford and I felt very appreciative to be there being present with them, but I could feel that subtle momentum of the mind trying to have me trying to chase or obtain something else. We are all these crazy bunnies always seeking carrots that either we or someone else we knows desire. Having the most carrots denotes a certain level of status yet not chasing the carrot within itself is not victory. There has to be an inner experience taking place that far surpasses anything that the outside world can offer. I am yearning to seek the creator beyond all the creations. I move from the mystical to the mechanical just like many people in the modern day western society. I often find people are always projecting that I am sitting there on a throne placing judgment upon them. Yet that does neither myself or them any benefit and I will not allow my mind to head that direction because I merely want to experience that infinite joy that we all experience at to make that experience a perpetual feeling that other people can contribute to but a feeling that nobody can take away. It is our birthright to feel a deep underlying peace at any given moment. There will be pain but we come to understand that everything will come to pass and we are just beams of light currently residing in dense matter that we call the human form. May we never become overly attached to a world that is merely full with temporary pleasures that can never give any of the highest love that we seek to experience.

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