Monday, May 29, 2006

Would You Call My Name

The love that I was giving was never in doubt (David Gray lyrics). I am tired of women that only want to talk about leaping and don't actually want to take that plunge into mystery. Life is mystery, real actual life is made of mystery, not of some fucking formula. I can not guarantee anything accept that I will follow my heart to wherever it takes me. I want a woman that desires the same and knows that they, me, or both of us, may get hurt. That is why it is so amazing, because there is a risk while being vulnerable that makes me feel alive.

I love you. I always have loved you, and when I look at you I mean it in every gesture, and In everyway. I am not promising anything except that I will say what I feel when I feel it. I will not hold back and both you and I will be better for it. If you hear me or feel me, then do something about it. Don't just stare at me or think about me, just tell me where you want to meet and I will be there. Only by following these feelings that come out from you, can I better get to know my true self. I feel humbled in your presence and when you are completely present. Not living in a state of fear where you shut down and let nothing in or out like some sort of military zone. I can feel you scream and cry when you smile and laugh for the benefit of your audience. You never fooled me for a minute. When I look at you I go through it all and you do the same to me.

Romantics are merely people that breathe deeper and cut with their eyes in ways that make them compelling and uncomfortable to be around. I am still with you as I type and as I touch your spirit. I cry out to you and I know that you hear it, for echos thru the whole fucking world.... It has always echoed be it different names, races, faces, and places. It is always the same. The setting does not matter just the emotions that are struck. I've been seeing you even before I met you and when we kiss time stops, and there we are frozen like tongues to flagpoles and there is no one else I want to be frozen with. I am melting as I type the layers of ego and facade fade away like the emotions we hide in a world where everyone has gotten so good at suppressing what it is they want so they can have something that they could do without. I still feel sadness for the last lifetime when I left you, but I will not leave you high and dry with no shoulder to cry on. I visit you in your sleep, but you already knew that. It is too akward to say in this world of silly concepts that we live in. Well.... this world is about to fall apart in all the best ways the walls are coming down and this clown has had his whole world flipped upside down.
But only when that happens do we realize that we can never be held in place and these eyes do not see like this soul sees.

Neither of us could ever get away from each other and doing thus would be merely kidding ourselves. I am not going to kid myself, everything has already happened while most of this world was busy napping. We were chasing the dream, when only being the dream makes any sense. Merging with the dream is to merge with the divinity of infinity. "Where is my mind?", The song says, I put it on a blog so that people could read and know to some extent what I was trying to express. "Yeah they don't love you like I love you, because they don't know you like I know you." First eye shot, everything that needed to be said was said, and we both began bobbing to the music that only we could hear. I left because I had to go, but unlike last time, nothing was going to keep me from coming back to see the soul that I have known better then all I have seen. We have amazing scenes ahead, and a son named Tallaque coming. Tonight at my parents house, and your future in-laws house, I told you something that you knew deep in your heart because we both have carried it for so long.


Anonymous said...

That is so painfully beautiful it makes me wish you actually were talking to me . . .

Anonymous said...

That must be somebody really special. Good luck, and congratulations on the kid, man.

Anonymous said...

couldn't call sunday..will try tomorrow.
Love's cutting pain and Truth are one and the same.
i love that you are living your life raw, sweet, real.
this is a great gift!
nothing breaks your heart open
to the wild universe
like a child, fresh from Spirit, with eyes for you and yours!

love, lauralodestone. always..which is now.

StaticTraveller said...

Powerful words, man

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