So last night I was and for that matter I am still in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I came for my uncle's 60th surprise birthday party. I had just won $50 at the blackjack table (an old habit of mine), but I managed to walk away on the upside. I then ran into a few family friends that were heading to the restaurant where we were convening for the surprise birthday dinner. I then started chatting with my uncle's best friend's son's girlfriend. My uncle is also currently their realtor. She thought I would make for someone interesting to sit next to during dinner at the very least. I then proceeded to share with her an idea I had for a reality television series specifically of the comedy variety.
She then mentioned that she works for MTV, and comedy is exactly the department that she works in, and they are looking for something exactly like the show I had just described. She also realized that she happened to recognize my mother because they had recently sat next to each other at the nail salon in Springfield.
She herself had some unique psychic experiences in her life and comes from a family of Romanian Gypsies. When they get a feeling about something, things happen. She mentioned that she was overwhelmed with a desire to bring her business card, but thought the notion absurd because of the circumstances of the night. Needless to say, as usual the absurd prevails in my life and last night was no exception.
I then proceeded to do some healing work on a migraine issue that she had been having. The room we were in was well air conditioned and despite this she felt a wave of heat through her entire body. This of course is not an uncommon experience that people have during a healing session.
Shortly after that while on the way out we ran into a young man who was a bit tipsy to say the least. My uncle had been chatting with this young man earlier in the garage and he recognized me from music festivals and referred to me as the 'shaman.'
He and his girlfriend asked me if I would do what I do for them and I agreed. He said he only had $5. I said that I never turn anyone away if they are sincere in their desire. I could greatly sense his sincerity. We ended up in the back hallway intended for employees only. After his healing while I was working on his girlfriend we were told that we were not allowed to be there. Although, we were left alone for a few moments to allow the healing energy to run its course.
Shortly after that I was doing some tai-chi exercises in the hotel lobby area of the Casino-Hotel. Needless to say, it isn't China and the simplest actions of calm can cause such large ripples. One young gentleman preceeded to do some of the exercises with me. He was struggling intensely with anger and sadness in regards to a particular female in his life. This is something that I know all too well. After a little while he calmed down. Although he was feeling more of his sadness, the mask of anger and confusion was slipping away. You could feel more of a peace emanating from him. Later in the evening someone else recognized me from somewhere, but he did not know where and he decided that I must be famous. Thirty minutes later he was talking about fame and I simply said, "I know many unhappy famous people--it fades: seek enlightenment that will never fade." There was a look of understanding and a deep appreciation on his face for pointing out the delusion of fame which our society is taught to regard so highly.
Life is a funny and splendid thing. I never would have imagined that any of these events would have taken place in Atlantic City during my Uncle's surprise birthday party. There were other beautiful moments and events that occurred last night. It is the constant reminder that will always conspire for you, and we merely have to be present for the moment and allow things to unfold as divinity had planned.
I send all my love to whoever reads this and I hope that you find more than you can imagine inside yourself. My life can appear to be very adventurous and it most certainly is. There is also a lot of peace and the greatest experience is the one that exists inside of us, and that is something we take everywhere we go. At any moment we are capable of experiencing a love and a bliss that words are not capable of expressing such sensations and feelings. We can only vaguely point to the experience. Ultimately we all have to open ourselves up to having that experience on our own.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Guru just left for Vegas.
Recently I ran into a friend of mine that had seen me in the Diag of Ann Arbor, Michigan. He also ran into me a few times in the Venice and Santa Monica, California area. I went with him to Laguna Hills, California to see a guru that I had heard about thru a flyer I was given at Bhakti Fest, a Kirtan Yoga music festival that took place just outside of Joshua Tree, California in the middle of September.
On the way there my friend and I got stuck in traffic and were running about an hour late for the Darshan (spiritual blessing from a saint.) On our way I told my friend that often we think we are going somewhere for a particular reason only to discover it is not quite what we expected, but that there is always a reason why. Once we arrived at the address we noticed that we were in a cul-de-sac in Laguna Hills and the lights were not on and nobody was around at all.
We made a phone call only to discover that they had changed the date of the Darshan on the website and we had an older flyer. I figured we had come all this way for a reason and I was so determined to have my experience that an urgent need to use the restroom encouraged me to ring the door bell of a house across the street from the address we were given. We were told by another neighbor that the people in these houses were indeed connected.
A very sweet woman who opened the door told us the Guru had gone to Vegas. Well of course we were somewhat disappointed, but my immediate need was to use the restroom. She obliged very lovingly to allow me to do so and my friend also entered into the house/Ashram (religious hermitage.) After I got out I incessantly pushed her to share her experiences with her Guru. After all we had come an hour and a half, at least we could hear some good stories. As she started to speak of her experiences I could feel an ever-deepening calm and peace descend upon all of us.
We stayed for an hour and a half, mostly listening. I shared a few of my own experiences as well. And even though the Guru's physical body had left for Vegas, his presence in the house/ashram and his presence thru his disciple poured out an experience that was exceedingly blissful and palitable.
It is funny how things won't turn out how we thought they would, but exactly how they were meant to be. We need to accept this very basic fact and life becomes a lot easier. I continue along this journey amazingly thankful and blessed for the people that continue to come into my life and even the ones who almost come in. They are just right around the next ashram.
On the way there my friend and I got stuck in traffic and were running about an hour late for the Darshan (spiritual blessing from a saint.) On our way I told my friend that often we think we are going somewhere for a particular reason only to discover it is not quite what we expected, but that there is always a reason why. Once we arrived at the address we noticed that we were in a cul-de-sac in Laguna Hills and the lights were not on and nobody was around at all.
We made a phone call only to discover that they had changed the date of the Darshan on the website and we had an older flyer. I figured we had come all this way for a reason and I was so determined to have my experience that an urgent need to use the restroom encouraged me to ring the door bell of a house across the street from the address we were given. We were told by another neighbor that the people in these houses were indeed connected.
A very sweet woman who opened the door told us the Guru had gone to Vegas. Well of course we were somewhat disappointed, but my immediate need was to use the restroom. She obliged very lovingly to allow me to do so and my friend also entered into the house/Ashram (religious hermitage.) After I got out I incessantly pushed her to share her experiences with her Guru. After all we had come an hour and a half, at least we could hear some good stories. As she started to speak of her experiences I could feel an ever-deepening calm and peace descend upon all of us.
We stayed for an hour and a half, mostly listening. I shared a few of my own experiences as well. And even though the Guru's physical body had left for Vegas, his presence in the house/ashram and his presence thru his disciple poured out an experience that was exceedingly blissful and palitable.
It is funny how things won't turn out how we thought they would, but exactly how they were meant to be. We need to accept this very basic fact and life becomes a lot easier. I continue along this journey amazingly thankful and blessed for the people that continue to come into my life and even the ones who almost come in. They are just right around the next ashram.
Say It isn't so, but if it is so may I accept it.
I want to find myself constantly in a state beyond the mind. This does not mean that you can't function, but merely that you come from a place of awareness that feels light and easy like a George Michael Careless Whisper.
Yeah maybe I have to say goodbye for a few years. But it is better than saying hello when I can't even talk to you and all I got was an occassional text message. I had to push it to the point that you said no more. It had to be no more so that I could be free to pursue my heart and purpose without holding onto something that is merely in the ether. I deepened my love and the hurt was deep, but it has made me more compassionate and empathetic and stronger in my resolve towards the infinite.
The mind is a stubborn thing and it sometimes has to be everything or nothing and something in between in the bardo of uncertainity that stops us from what we both deserve, which is to be happy.
It would have been easier had it happened with even a phone conversation or just one in-person meet up. I figure it only fair based on the things that were previously said and shared, but you were scared and so was I, yet I had a willingness to explore that fear.
Now I enter into a brand new chapter and part of that chapter is building a foundation along what I have spent the better part of lifetimes formulating thru the soul's eternal quest. And when love is true there is not always a need to call and say I love you. As love becomes more true it is reflected in our very being and that love needs to start within ourselves, and I will start with myself right here right now.
And that is all we can do, is start with ourselves.
Yeah maybe I have to say goodbye for a few years. But it is better than saying hello when I can't even talk to you and all I got was an occassional text message. I had to push it to the point that you said no more. It had to be no more so that I could be free to pursue my heart and purpose without holding onto something that is merely in the ether. I deepened my love and the hurt was deep, but it has made me more compassionate and empathetic and stronger in my resolve towards the infinite.
The mind is a stubborn thing and it sometimes has to be everything or nothing and something in between in the bardo of uncertainity that stops us from what we both deserve, which is to be happy.
It would have been easier had it happened with even a phone conversation or just one in-person meet up. I figure it only fair based on the things that were previously said and shared, but you were scared and so was I, yet I had a willingness to explore that fear.
Now I enter into a brand new chapter and part of that chapter is building a foundation along what I have spent the better part of lifetimes formulating thru the soul's eternal quest. And when love is true there is not always a need to call and say I love you. As love becomes more true it is reflected in our very being and that love needs to start within ourselves, and I will start with myself right here right now.
And that is all we can do, is start with ourselves.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Back to New York City for the winter. Are you serious?
As I sit here, my friend sits here telling me it is now women breaking men's hearts and there has been a role reversal. Or this is at least among the male friends that I am hanging out with in San Francisco at this moment. I am a few hours from going back to New York City after spending a few days in San Ramon at Amma's ashram. There I reconnected with old friends and made new ones and kept noticing a reocurrence of people who practice Kriya Yoga and who are very drawn to Yoganda. I am feeling as if I am back in college and that I am heading back for Thanksgiving break but that was nearly 9 years ago. "Time flys" becomes more than a cliche as we get older.
I find myself striving to create more good habits and allow bad habits or things that no longer serve my higher self to fall away. ,Along the way we are going to stumble, but we just have to keep getting up at not beat ourselves up over being selfish in our last relationship or over hurtful thing that we said to a friend of ours.
We need to forgive ourselves and return to old places as if they are new places. When I was at Amma's ashram I was given opportunities to go down old roads, but I just let them move along. I find myself at a new stage where I want to be with a partner who has found her own footing.
In the past I have found myself in situations that were good in many ways but still not what I was looking for. There was that feeling of loneliness and that desire to have someone with which to share the journey. But we crashed and burned and many times we choose each other for that very reason. It was a part of me that was stubborn and seemed to need constant reminding. And even a great heart with a messy mind that wants to stay that way makes for an imbalanced relationship. It always takes two on the same level of awareness and willingness to work towards the higher essence that exists within both people.
Lets raise the bar and lets not settle and compromise and maybe we will have less infidelity and wandering eyes and all that stuff. Yes the mind is a messy thing. I know this very well from my own experience, but I also know that if we seek deeply we can go beyond the mind. And beyond the mind we can find a love that brings us together to seek the creator and not get stonewalled by the creations.
By the way I am doing my first Manhattan winter in quite some time just because I feel that is where I need to be. Not because I prefer the cold, but because trusting my inner voice gets me to all the blessed experiences that I have received. It has been 7 years since I have been in New York City during this time of year. I look forward to all the new experiences and people that will come forward.
I find myself striving to create more good habits and allow bad habits or things that no longer serve my higher self to fall away. ,Along the way we are going to stumble, but we just have to keep getting up at not beat ourselves up over being selfish in our last relationship or over hurtful thing that we said to a friend of ours.
We need to forgive ourselves and return to old places as if they are new places. When I was at Amma's ashram I was given opportunities to go down old roads, but I just let them move along. I find myself at a new stage where I want to be with a partner who has found her own footing.
In the past I have found myself in situations that were good in many ways but still not what I was looking for. There was that feeling of loneliness and that desire to have someone with which to share the journey. But we crashed and burned and many times we choose each other for that very reason. It was a part of me that was stubborn and seemed to need constant reminding. And even a great heart with a messy mind that wants to stay that way makes for an imbalanced relationship. It always takes two on the same level of awareness and willingness to work towards the higher essence that exists within both people.
Lets raise the bar and lets not settle and compromise and maybe we will have less infidelity and wandering eyes and all that stuff. Yes the mind is a messy thing. I know this very well from my own experience, but I also know that if we seek deeply we can go beyond the mind. And beyond the mind we can find a love that brings us together to seek the creator and not get stonewalled by the creations.
By the way I am doing my first Manhattan winter in quite some time just because I feel that is where I need to be. Not because I prefer the cold, but because trusting my inner voice gets me to all the blessed experiences that I have received. It has been 7 years since I have been in New York City during this time of year. I look forward to all the new experiences and people that will come forward.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I Missed You Even Though We Just Met
Sometimes I meet somebody along the way and though it is the first time we have met, the feeling that I know them is quite strong and powerful. When I give them a hug it is a feeling that I have missed them or of being in contact with their soul in the human experience.
I often find that with certain people we have an immediate connection, and from my experience it is connected to previous lifetimes that we have spent with them. We all have been here so many times. Energy can not be created or destroyed, it merely changes form or is transferred, to paraphrase the law of the conservation of energy. Our energy was here before, it is here now, and it will be here when we meet again. Same energy, different time.
I am honoring the simple beautiful fact that I know people whose names I have never uttered before in this lifetime. There is a feeling that everything slows down and you are given at times an over-powering hit of 'here we go again.' It feels as if I am picking up with them where I last left off. It may have been 3 lifetimes ago but in this present lifetime and moment they have returned sometimes briefly and sometimes for the long haul. But they have been a part of my journey long before I met them and will remain a part of the journey long after they are gone. And when I part ways from them I think I want to tell them I missed them and it was good to see them again even though it is merely our first encounter in this lifetime.
All of us are marching towards the infinite; all of us are remembering more and more that this is not our first lifetime. Eventually it will be accepted as common fact and in some cultures it is indeed accepted as fact. Call it reincarnation or any number of explanations. You never know when somebody will re-enter your life from the past.
I recommend remaining present and allowing yourself to explore it when you feel that wave of familiarity that you can not quite explain. Allow yourself to talk to these individuals as if you have known them because in likelyhood you have known them before.
I often find that with certain people we have an immediate connection, and from my experience it is connected to previous lifetimes that we have spent with them. We all have been here so many times. Energy can not be created or destroyed, it merely changes form or is transferred, to paraphrase the law of the conservation of energy. Our energy was here before, it is here now, and it will be here when we meet again. Same energy, different time.
I am honoring the simple beautiful fact that I know people whose names I have never uttered before in this lifetime. There is a feeling that everything slows down and you are given at times an over-powering hit of 'here we go again.' It feels as if I am picking up with them where I last left off. It may have been 3 lifetimes ago but in this present lifetime and moment they have returned sometimes briefly and sometimes for the long haul. But they have been a part of my journey long before I met them and will remain a part of the journey long after they are gone. And when I part ways from them I think I want to tell them I missed them and it was good to see them again even though it is merely our first encounter in this lifetime.
All of us are marching towards the infinite; all of us are remembering more and more that this is not our first lifetime. Eventually it will be accepted as common fact and in some cultures it is indeed accepted as fact. Call it reincarnation or any number of explanations. You never know when somebody will re-enter your life from the past.
I recommend remaining present and allowing yourself to explore it when you feel that wave of familiarity that you can not quite explain. Allow yourself to talk to these individuals as if you have known them because in likelyhood you have known them before.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Note From New Editor:
Mr. Kurzweil has accepted me as editor of his blog, Slacker Prophet, as of this week. I look forward to working with Mr. Kurzweil in publishing his content. I also look forward to feedback from all of his followers should they find issues with the writing quality of his blog.
Mr. Kurzweil has many plans for publication on his blog. Readers can expect to see some slight changes in content in order to ensure a consistent quality and readability in publication. He wishes to produce a professional, top-rate blog with professional, top-rate material.
Some previous posts may be edited and re-published to ensure quality of content, and for clarification for new readers/followers. If a post seems familiar, it might be a re-publication post-edit. All re-publications will be duly noted.
We ask for your patience and understanding as we work together to ensure total quality with this blog. Some replies and content may have a slight delay in publication due to editing. This is only to ensure all content has been professionally maintained.
Thank you,
Editor
Mr. Kurzweil has many plans for publication on his blog. Readers can expect to see some slight changes in content in order to ensure a consistent quality and readability in publication. He wishes to produce a professional, top-rate blog with professional, top-rate material.
Some previous posts may be edited and re-published to ensure quality of content, and for clarification for new readers/followers. If a post seems familiar, it might be a re-publication post-edit. All re-publications will be duly noted.
We ask for your patience and understanding as we work together to ensure total quality with this blog. Some replies and content may have a slight delay in publication due to editing. This is only to ensure all content has been professionally maintained.
Thank you,
Editor
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Every Kriya Breath You Take
(Republication 11-13-09 post-edit)
It has been 6 years since I first stumbled upon an autobiography of a yogi in Key West, Florida in the fall of 2003. Many things took place on that trip that have since stirred the course of my life. One of them was this book in which no one seemed to have interest as it remained neglected at a juice bar. After reading it I became enthralled and it has led me to raise the bar in regards to what is truly possible in the world.
We are conditioned to believe that technology has no limit and we as humans have numerous limits. I have never subscribed to this theory. Since reading the autobiography I have been guided on a quest to seek more within myself and I have had experiences in the external world that have aided me as inspiration to pentrate more deeply into my inner being.
Despite the work I have done I have only scraped a fraction of the potential. I am quite drawn to Kriya yoga as the lightening vehicle to god consciousness or true self realization.
There is a different guru from the Himalayas named Yogiraj and I will make my way to see him later this month to be intiated in this technique. He is a short distance outside of Santa Cruz, California. My visit may lead to a deeper awakening and greater peace and love that I can share with all humanity.
Currently I find myself in San Francisco, California, bouncing around on couches after staying for some time on a bus that had painted on it the phrase "Just Believe." I feel that believing is incredible. But even more profound is just to have have the experience. I am hoping to experience a deeper level of compassion and love as a result of my intiation into Kriya yoga by Yogiraj.
I have been blessed by many saints and some avatars that have helped me immensely on my journey. I am starting a new chapter in my journey that will lead me to a deeper commitment to god and to a source that will help to release myself of the bondage of my desires.
Now so many of us are awakening in ways that we have never known before. We must put forth great effort. To have a true guru or perfect mirror ensures a deeper inner relazation of our true sel--which is endlessness. Our true nature according to all the masters is infinite, yet out of fear our minds won't allow us to experience this. Instead we seek the scraps offered to us by the world. Yet this never quells our deeper spiritual thirst. No one can give us what we already have. They can only help us to dispel the clouds and darkness so that we can see our true nature.
It has been 6 years since I first stumbled upon an autobiography of a yogi in Key West, Florida in the fall of 2003. Many things took place on that trip that have since stirred the course of my life. One of them was this book in which no one seemed to have interest as it remained neglected at a juice bar. After reading it I became enthralled and it has led me to raise the bar in regards to what is truly possible in the world.
We are conditioned to believe that technology has no limit and we as humans have numerous limits. I have never subscribed to this theory. Since reading the autobiography I have been guided on a quest to seek more within myself and I have had experiences in the external world that have aided me as inspiration to pentrate more deeply into my inner being.
Despite the work I have done I have only scraped a fraction of the potential. I am quite drawn to Kriya yoga as the lightening vehicle to god consciousness or true self realization.
There is a different guru from the Himalayas named Yogiraj and I will make my way to see him later this month to be intiated in this technique. He is a short distance outside of Santa Cruz, California. My visit may lead to a deeper awakening and greater peace and love that I can share with all humanity.
Currently I find myself in San Francisco, California, bouncing around on couches after staying for some time on a bus that had painted on it the phrase "Just Believe." I feel that believing is incredible. But even more profound is just to have have the experience. I am hoping to experience a deeper level of compassion and love as a result of my intiation into Kriya yoga by Yogiraj.
I have been blessed by many saints and some avatars that have helped me immensely on my journey. I am starting a new chapter in my journey that will lead me to a deeper commitment to god and to a source that will help to release myself of the bondage of my desires.
Now so many of us are awakening in ways that we have never known before. We must put forth great effort. To have a true guru or perfect mirror ensures a deeper inner relazation of our true sel--which is endlessness. Our true nature according to all the masters is infinite, yet out of fear our minds won't allow us to experience this. Instead we seek the scraps offered to us by the world. Yet this never quells our deeper spiritual thirst. No one can give us what we already have. They can only help us to dispel the clouds and darkness so that we can see our true nature.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Seriously--I Need An Editor
(Re-publication 11-13-09 post-edit)
I was just looking over my last blog and there are things I meant to say and words that get dropped and then the meaning gets changed which is kind of funny. And this points to the imperfection of the English word. The best I can do is try to emit a feeling or emotion thru this medium and let loose the flood of my unconsciousness and somehow in the process help people in their process to do the same.
We play the same games all life getting the same results waiting for all of that to change, but we are never willing to put it all on the line and be that change ourselves.
We all need to take a huge leap of faith into the unknown and allow ourselves to peel away the layers and leave ourselves open and vulnerable and just be in this moment and hold that space to the stillness and watch the system crack apart around us.
We say too much for which we don't actually intend to follow thru. We are at a point where the earth is giving us warning signs to awaken to whom we are. Otherwise there won't be much of a world left to awaken to for ourselves and future generations. The choices that we make right now to awaken determines so much for so many. Finding our inner grace has not been so readily available in a long time.
So Maybe you want to delve inside of your own oyster which is you and allow that pearl to reveal itself to the whole world. Here we are just waiting for the facade to fully crack apart and for all of us to be honest with ourselves and then we can start to be honest with our friends, family, and people that we call strangers. Truthfully most of us have been strangers to ourselves for a long time. A long time or a short time and eventually there is no time and we can see that there is no separation except what we perceive in the mind. Let the suffering stop and let the healing happen and may the grace heal us all.
I was just looking over my last blog and there are things I meant to say and words that get dropped and then the meaning gets changed which is kind of funny. And this points to the imperfection of the English word. The best I can do is try to emit a feeling or emotion thru this medium and let loose the flood of my unconsciousness and somehow in the process help people in their process to do the same.
We play the same games all life getting the same results waiting for all of that to change, but we are never willing to put it all on the line and be that change ourselves.
We all need to take a huge leap of faith into the unknown and allow ourselves to peel away the layers and leave ourselves open and vulnerable and just be in this moment and hold that space to the stillness and watch the system crack apart around us.
We say too much for which we don't actually intend to follow thru. We are at a point where the earth is giving us warning signs to awaken to whom we are. Otherwise there won't be much of a world left to awaken to for ourselves and future generations. The choices that we make right now to awaken determines so much for so many. Finding our inner grace has not been so readily available in a long time.
So Maybe you want to delve inside of your own oyster which is you and allow that pearl to reveal itself to the whole world. Here we are just waiting for the facade to fully crack apart and for all of us to be honest with ourselves and then we can start to be honest with our friends, family, and people that we call strangers. Truthfully most of us have been strangers to ourselves for a long time. A long time or a short time and eventually there is no time and we can see that there is no separation except what we perceive in the mind. Let the suffering stop and let the healing happen and may the grace heal us all.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Do You Remember Me
(Re-publication 11-13-09 post-edit)
In all the world where everything is changing all the time I have noticed wherever I go people want to be remembered, and one of the first questions people will ask me is if I remember them. It is like they are testing me or really testing themselves. Some of them give a response before I have a chance to say anything positive that I couldn't actually remember them. Quite often people's jaws will drop and sometimes I need them to say the right phrase or location and it will all come flooding back to me.
Yet I was thinking how much people want to be remembered, but more importantly people want to be recognized on a level that is much deeper than they realize. People want their spirit to be acknowledge even more than they want their identity validated.
Recognize people's spirit and allow the ego to do what it wants but don't respond to the thrashing and clawing of the ego. Speak to their soul and they will love you forever. Just talk to who they really are because it makes them recognize who they really are beyond this form and name that we often mistakenly take to be all of whom we are.
In all the world where everything is changing all the time I have noticed wherever I go people want to be remembered, and one of the first questions people will ask me is if I remember them. It is like they are testing me or really testing themselves. Some of them give a response before I have a chance to say anything positive that I couldn't actually remember them. Quite often people's jaws will drop and sometimes I need them to say the right phrase or location and it will all come flooding back to me.
Yet I was thinking how much people want to be remembered, but more importantly people want to be recognized on a level that is much deeper than they realize. People want their spirit to be acknowledge even more than they want their identity validated.
Recognize people's spirit and allow the ego to do what it wants but don't respond to the thrashing and clawing of the ego. Speak to their soul and they will love you forever. Just talk to who they really are because it makes them recognize who they really are beyond this form and name that we often mistakenly take to be all of whom we are.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I'm in A Rothbury State of Mind
(Re-publication 11-14-09 post-edit)
Yes I am totally aware that I just jacked Billy Joel. I am sure he can pardon me since I am an innocent man and he is a piano man. And because Greyhound has been somewhat replaced by Craigslist. I know you get the jist.
Lets stop saying "I don't know" especially when we know and just don't want to say so.
SO SO SO SO what else but still if my mind is not still I become oh so ill and I stop giving out pills because it breaks our will to change the status quo and there is no status flow but there is the status blow and I am not talking Johnny Depp but we can still go oh so deep and creep till we weep that the chimney man has no chimney and Jiminy Cricket can't afford to be anywhere anymore because he has too many tickets and eats badly so now he has rickets.
But we just need to kick it and yes then perhaps we can lick it, but I am talking about leprosy. We are that change and we are the men and women in the mirror and neverland is not just a ranch but a branch of American soul history like Graceland. But don't worry Dolly we can still give your fair share of lolly pops. Yes they said June 25, 2009 was the day that pop music and one of Charlie's Angels died. And still I cry and we all just need to get a little bit crazy which is alot better then being a whole lot lazy...
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah's give me a map so I can find if they don't really love me like you love me. I can't wait and I can't dance and I can't sing but I can raise myself to the occasion and sometimes I am known to be an emperor of persuasion. We are going to Graceland if Paul Simon and that other guy Marc Cohen won't stop mowing my lawn that has no grass. Because my ass was grass and that song was the lawnmower and now there is no ass to be found but I don't want to be crass but sometimes I swear I think my voice can break glass.
Try Michigan--it worked for Iggie Pop but still they say Pop is dead and we all need to find Right Said Fred. Thread the needle and we can end the H train out of Afghanistan. I am going to Iran if we don't quickly come up with a plan and my man Stan (a.k.a. my dad) needs to get a vegetable oil van.
Okay I admit maybe I take it too far and maybe there is no maybe just yes and no and too many people that say I don't know. Let us grow and know we can all go to Rothbury which is supposedly a spelling mistake and my achy breaky heart broke when Miley tried to mess with my Radiohead because they did not bow to her superstar demands.
I command to help humanity for a one man band and we can make this world amazingly grand but we don't need to make a stand. Instead we just shall be the nothingness until we all feeel estatic bliss.
Yes I am totally aware that I just jacked Billy Joel. I am sure he can pardon me since I am an innocent man and he is a piano man. And because Greyhound has been somewhat replaced by Craigslist. I know you get the jist.
Lets stop saying "I don't know" especially when we know and just don't want to say so.
SO SO SO SO what else but still if my mind is not still I become oh so ill and I stop giving out pills because it breaks our will to change the status quo and there is no status flow but there is the status blow and I am not talking Johnny Depp but we can still go oh so deep and creep till we weep that the chimney man has no chimney and Jiminy Cricket can't afford to be anywhere anymore because he has too many tickets and eats badly so now he has rickets.
But we just need to kick it and yes then perhaps we can lick it, but I am talking about leprosy. We are that change and we are the men and women in the mirror and neverland is not just a ranch but a branch of American soul history like Graceland. But don't worry Dolly we can still give your fair share of lolly pops. Yes they said June 25, 2009 was the day that pop music and one of Charlie's Angels died. And still I cry and we all just need to get a little bit crazy which is alot better then being a whole lot lazy...
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah's give me a map so I can find if they don't really love me like you love me. I can't wait and I can't dance and I can't sing but I can raise myself to the occasion and sometimes I am known to be an emperor of persuasion. We are going to Graceland if Paul Simon and that other guy Marc Cohen won't stop mowing my lawn that has no grass. Because my ass was grass and that song was the lawnmower and now there is no ass to be found but I don't want to be crass but sometimes I swear I think my voice can break glass.
Try Michigan--it worked for Iggie Pop but still they say Pop is dead and we all need to find Right Said Fred. Thread the needle and we can end the H train out of Afghanistan. I am going to Iran if we don't quickly come up with a plan and my man Stan (a.k.a. my dad) needs to get a vegetable oil van.
Okay I admit maybe I take it too far and maybe there is no maybe just yes and no and too many people that say I don't know. Let us grow and know we can all go to Rothbury which is supposedly a spelling mistake and my achy breaky heart broke when Miley tried to mess with my Radiohead because they did not bow to her superstar demands.
I command to help humanity for a one man band and we can make this world amazingly grand but we don't need to make a stand. Instead we just shall be the nothingness until we all feeel estatic bliss.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I Press To Express Divinity Through Dance
(Re-publication 11-15-09 post-edit)
Since I was a young child I have believed that nothing could affect a mass of people so quickly as my dance moves. Although, there is very little that I do from a technical standpoint that is not relatively easy to imitate.
Yet there is an intensity and devotion that takes place in my dancing that is an expression of everything that I have ever been and everything that I will ever be. This comes out when I am really dancing--when I am really going for broke.
There is something about going for broke that is perhaps one of the sexiest and most foolish things imaginable. It is to be a bridge between this world and the world that remains unseen by most, yet still it dictates everything that happens down here.
I reach such ecstatic states of joy and exhaustion when I dance. There is a deep real love being expressed as if I could just zip out of my body and expand into the cosmos. Every emotion that is welled up inside of me all starts to explode at once and it is a symphony. There are moments in the process where I become completely still and don't move it all.
People will remember me years later from seeing me dance one time at one place for one moment. It was not until I just typed it, that I realized how special that makes it. In many ways I just take that for granted. Some people would also take it for granted. Perhaps it is just merely because I am tall or merely because I am "spazz," but that doesn't really get at it. Nor does it explain the reaction as far as I can tell. I have seen people dance much better than myself, yet there remains something hidden and secretive in their dance and there is not a joy and bliss shared thru the experience.
Since I was a young child I have believed that nothing could affect a mass of people so quickly as my dance moves. Although, there is very little that I do from a technical standpoint that is not relatively easy to imitate.
Yet there is an intensity and devotion that takes place in my dancing that is an expression of everything that I have ever been and everything that I will ever be. This comes out when I am really dancing--when I am really going for broke.
There is something about going for broke that is perhaps one of the sexiest and most foolish things imaginable. It is to be a bridge between this world and the world that remains unseen by most, yet still it dictates everything that happens down here.
I reach such ecstatic states of joy and exhaustion when I dance. There is a deep real love being expressed as if I could just zip out of my body and expand into the cosmos. Every emotion that is welled up inside of me all starts to explode at once and it is a symphony. There are moments in the process where I become completely still and don't move it all.
People will remember me years later from seeing me dance one time at one place for one moment. It was not until I just typed it, that I realized how special that makes it. In many ways I just take that for granted. Some people would also take it for granted. Perhaps it is just merely because I am tall or merely because I am "spazz," but that doesn't really get at it. Nor does it explain the reaction as far as I can tell. I have seen people dance much better than myself, yet there remains something hidden and secretive in their dance and there is not a joy and bliss shared thru the experience.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Just Trying To Make It Back Home
(Re-publication 11-17-09 post-edit)
"Where is home?" is the question that people either take for granted or for which they give an immediate response. It is usually one to which I find myself always giving a different reply. Recently I find myself wanting to say the Himalayas. In the past I used to say Burning Man, or the same place as everyone else, or wherever I happened to be in that moment.
I keep concentrating on the thought that we are all just beams of light making our way back to the sun/God/divinity/whatever you call or don't call it. I find myself trying to put pieces of the puzzle together, yet there is nothing to put together. Rather it is layers within myself to unravel. There are self defenses to let down, and expectations to drop so that I can experience things exactly as they are, instead of how my mind says they should be.
Sometimes I find myself wanting to be egotistical for the sake of being egotistical--ignoring the truth of who we all are. If other people pretend they are not special long enough, you might actually start to believe their story. And that's all it ever is: a "story" until we drop the story and there is just a beautiful infinite emptiness and oblivion of bliss. People seek to imitate this through sex, drugs, and other sense gratifications and yet it only poorly imitates these things sought.
I can't keep pretending or imitating or duplicating and trying to make sense of infinite with a finite perspective. I have known people in their different phases as they have known me in my different legs of the journey. One day soon someone will be sitting down to edit this, and it will reach millions of people around the world. This is something I have known and it is not because I am such a great writer, but because I offer people a small reminder of their true nature.
Whether Buddha/Christ/Mohammad/Moses/Khrishna/Ala or NO thing at all may all the egos fall and none of us will be small or tall. We are all part of the same cosmic ball.
We are reaching towards a new day and before we get to that point it can sting and be quite painful. However, that can lead to a GROWTH of a new awareness that is more vibrant yet constant so that it becomes the norm, instead of merely a passing feeling.
"Where is home?" is the question that people either take for granted or for which they give an immediate response. It is usually one to which I find myself always giving a different reply. Recently I find myself wanting to say the Himalayas. In the past I used to say Burning Man, or the same place as everyone else, or wherever I happened to be in that moment.
I keep concentrating on the thought that we are all just beams of light making our way back to the sun/God/divinity/whatever you call or don't call it. I find myself trying to put pieces of the puzzle together, yet there is nothing to put together. Rather it is layers within myself to unravel. There are self defenses to let down, and expectations to drop so that I can experience things exactly as they are, instead of how my mind says they should be.
Sometimes I find myself wanting to be egotistical for the sake of being egotistical--ignoring the truth of who we all are. If other people pretend they are not special long enough, you might actually start to believe their story. And that's all it ever is: a "story" until we drop the story and there is just a beautiful infinite emptiness and oblivion of bliss. People seek to imitate this through sex, drugs, and other sense gratifications and yet it only poorly imitates these things sought.
I can't keep pretending or imitating or duplicating and trying to make sense of infinite with a finite perspective. I have known people in their different phases as they have known me in my different legs of the journey. One day soon someone will be sitting down to edit this, and it will reach millions of people around the world. This is something I have known and it is not because I am such a great writer, but because I offer people a small reminder of their true nature.
Whether Buddha/Christ/Mohammad/Moses/Khrishna/Ala or NO thing at all may all the egos fall and none of us will be small or tall. We are all part of the same cosmic ball.
We are reaching towards a new day and before we get to that point it can sting and be quite painful. However, that can lead to a GROWTH of a new awareness that is more vibrant yet constant so that it becomes the norm, instead of merely a passing feeling.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Brand New Chapter
(Re-publication 11-20-09 post-edit)
Sometimes you just know a new chapter is about to begin in your life and right before it happens things seem to get extra quiet. Appreciate that silence because you will look back on it longingly later on. We look back on things from the past with deep longing.
This moment is a perfect snapshot for all that is and will ever be, and yet knowing that, we can still strive to find more of what is inside of ourselves.
As each one of us awakens to our life's path it makes it easier for others to do the same. They are presented with more mirrors to show them the way towards their own bliss.
I am back in Ann Arbor, Michigan and recently payed respects to the wife of my former tai-chi-gong master. Still I have no more answers about how he awakened my gift within me.
My spiritual journey grows stronger and on occasion my mind distracts me from the greater task at hand. Yet it continues to lose its power to do so. My focus and concentration grows stronger and my heart opens more, and as the day unfolds more is revealed to me.
I Am finishing an 8-year cycle which represents 'infinite' and an new cycle is beginning. Remember "crazy" people have a way of seeing and speaking about the same things we see and perceive, but we refuse to acknowledge these things because it makes us uncomfortable.
The Himalayas get closer and closer to penetrating the core of American Spirituality. Jesus or Issa's missing time has always held a particular fascination for me. Anyone of us awakening helps all of us to awaken to our true Christ/Buddha nature. We are beings of "Light." Let that permeate thru your entire being.
Sometimes we can see the potential for something down the road, yet we have to deal with the ravine that we have to cross right now. We can have awareness of what awaits us later but we have to bring our immediate attention to the now and it will make things down the road much more special. Nothing is quite as it seems, but this is no reason to be paranoid about such a thing. Your unconditional love is your shield against all that the world can hoist at you.
Be your own best friend and the world will do the same with you. Have patience and perseverance and all shall be rewarded. The journey is long and arduous but the results are more then we can imagine. Keep taking your steps and keep transforming as we create a new day and a new chapter.
Sometimes you just know a new chapter is about to begin in your life and right before it happens things seem to get extra quiet. Appreciate that silence because you will look back on it longingly later on. We look back on things from the past with deep longing.
This moment is a perfect snapshot for all that is and will ever be, and yet knowing that, we can still strive to find more of what is inside of ourselves.
As each one of us awakens to our life's path it makes it easier for others to do the same. They are presented with more mirrors to show them the way towards their own bliss.
I am back in Ann Arbor, Michigan and recently payed respects to the wife of my former tai-chi-gong master. Still I have no more answers about how he awakened my gift within me.
My spiritual journey grows stronger and on occasion my mind distracts me from the greater task at hand. Yet it continues to lose its power to do so. My focus and concentration grows stronger and my heart opens more, and as the day unfolds more is revealed to me.
I Am finishing an 8-year cycle which represents 'infinite' and an new cycle is beginning. Remember "crazy" people have a way of seeing and speaking about the same things we see and perceive, but we refuse to acknowledge these things because it makes us uncomfortable.
The Himalayas get closer and closer to penetrating the core of American Spirituality. Jesus or Issa's missing time has always held a particular fascination for me. Anyone of us awakening helps all of us to awaken to our true Christ/Buddha nature. We are beings of "Light." Let that permeate thru your entire being.
Sometimes we can see the potential for something down the road, yet we have to deal with the ravine that we have to cross right now. We can have awareness of what awaits us later but we have to bring our immediate attention to the now and it will make things down the road much more special. Nothing is quite as it seems, but this is no reason to be paranoid about such a thing. Your unconditional love is your shield against all that the world can hoist at you.
Be your own best friend and the world will do the same with you. Have patience and perseverance and all shall be rewarded. The journey is long and arduous but the results are more then we can imagine. Keep taking your steps and keep transforming as we create a new day and a new chapter.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Just Go with What feels right for you
I wonder what exactly makes for a proper education in a world where we are taught to seek outside of ourselves for our validation. Nothing is ever big enough and everything is super sized until you become sick yet we are over eating and are still under nourished. I found myself in Woodstock New York on my way to Burlington Vermont. I recently spent time with a Saint named Amma and not the one who is known for hugging. We all have to find our peace with ourselves and we all have our own way of going about finding this. It is easy not to judge when somebody doesn't judge you, but the greater challenge lies in not judging when somebody judges you. I am not different then anyone in that I seek a greater peace and joy within my own being that is not dependent on circumstances of any kind. I have been greatly benefited and gifted by many people along the way and continue to strive to experience and know the interconnectedness that we all share. I seek to express my emotions, thoughts and sentiments and to realize that I have not fully liberated myself until I no longer look outside of myself for validation that will never be enough for an ego that doesn't want to acknowledge its fleetingness. I always felt there was something more then what I was told. To be a spiritual seeker is to be deemed a Slacker, Lunatic, outcast and prophet and yet you are known and all of these things. I seek the council of those who have found a greater peace and acceptance then myself so that I can be guided back to my natural essence which is true for all of us. I wake up in a different place on a regular basis and each day offers new possibilities if I am open to a new experience that guides me closer to the source that we all come from. We all return from whence we came from and so much of the other stuff is merely a distraction from our true nature which we are told is foolhardy to seek. May we all be so lucky to be so foolhardy.
Friday, May 22, 2009
I heard I've Got a Prayer in Memphis
I am in NYC and I can feel America and the midwest and the South a the road with all the festival season calling me strongly along with the female saints that come and grace us with their presence. I am not looking for belief or faith I am looking for inner experience. I am not interested so much in speculation and idle chit chat (well a little bit) mostly I am just interested in that inner experience and my glimpses become longer. The only king I desire to know is the one who has conquered all internal conflict. Now we are all pieces of infinite puzzle and we all are finding our way to the right place on the globe but we just have to find that right place inside of ourselves first and foremost. Now is the chance to get right whatever I may have lost sight of. May the blind man start to see once again. Let it rain let it rain and may it wash away all that pain let it rain maybe I shall go to Spain and not just because it rhymes with rain.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Give Me that music
Music is such a huge part of my journey either I am listening to it making it up or it is just playing inside of my head and my soul. I head bop to music that I hear in my head and sometimes people even join in with me. There is something about sound that has a way of awakening all the different things that exist deeper in our unconscious and super conscious. I am back in New York City, but as they saying goes I left my heart in LA/Portland the past coming back to me and making me deal with a whole bunch of stuff that I thought I had dropped only to find out more clearly how much I carry it around with me. I feel her everywhere I go these days and yet timing is everything and I just need to be patient and focus on my inner work and want I need to be doing which is being of service to those around me. Healing is feeling yet the world seems to discourage us from feeling unpleasant feelings. Now I find myself in SOHO and this pain is prod to remember the divine. I find myself mantra chanting with great urgency and it just overcomes. My being hears these words and something awakens inside of me. I am waking up to the greater love inside of me and it spreading everywhere that I go. I am taking ice cold showers and I still come out of the water warm. I feel that my heart is cracking open more and more and parts of my mind want to resist it. I had a dream involving my healing gift and just allowing it to take me over more and just get out of the way. I can feel that great changes keep happening around me and I am just focusing on being present with the change. We all just need to be present with what we are feeling even if it is uncomfortable.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Certainly I Am Amazed
At This Moment Anything Can Truly happen and I really do believe that a man or woman can fly without wings just make sure you take off from the ground first (no jumping off rooftops or cliffs). Each person connects to another aspect of ourself and a different series of events are put into motion based on each little choice that we make. I have fear but i do my best to look at them clearly and understand that eventually I will have to leave. All of us are just visitors and may this place be better for our visit. I was recently at Coachella I got to hear Paul himself though I did not see him, but music is about hearing not seeing just ask Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder and they will be able to vouch for that. His voice was incredible and I Enjoyed myself immensely and thought that there is a wave of a new awakening coming that will demonstrate a large social shift and our values and priorities. The bus is moving and all of us are on it in one way shape or for.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Just Give Me a Chance to Audition to Play Myself
Recently a writer friend of mine was telling me about a screenplay he was working and one of the main characters would be based on me. In his mind he thought James Franco would play me. I found the whole thing quite hysterical the idea the idea that James Franco could play me better then I could play me. I told my friend that I least want a chance to audition to by myself. Even if I don't get the role of me I least want to be able to tell people that I auditioned but James Franco was considered better as the part of me then I would be. I then considered the idea of sending in James Franco as my replacement in certain situations in my life. I thought this could be really interesting since some casting directors decided he was better at playing me then I am. Yet if he Played me would I then end up playing him. Is there really some sort of bizarre challenge in playing yourself in this world where people have a really hard to being themselves. Maybe we all need an actor to come and play us for a while to show us how we could better play ourselves. If you know anything about being a unconscious medium is the spirit comes thru and you are not there for the process. I once heard it being described as going to sleep while the spirit took over. I thought this was a beautiful description. I guess I would go to sleep while James Franco played me for a while. Maybe we all need a break from playing ourselves just to see how somebody else would do it.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
