I want to find myself constantly in a state beyond the mind. This does not mean that you can't function, but merely that you come from a place of awareness that feels light and easy like a George Michael Careless Whisper.
Yeah maybe I have to say goodbye for a few years. But it is better than saying hello when I can't even talk to you and all I got was an occassional text message. I had to push it to the point that you said no more. It had to be no more so that I could be free to pursue my heart and purpose without holding onto something that is merely in the ether. I deepened my love and the hurt was deep, but it has made me more compassionate and empathetic and stronger in my resolve towards the infinite.
The mind is a stubborn thing and it sometimes has to be everything or nothing and something in between in the bardo of uncertainity that stops us from what we both deserve, which is to be happy.
It would have been easier had it happened with even a phone conversation or just one in-person meet up. I figure it only fair based on the things that were previously said and shared, but you were scared and so was I, yet I had a willingness to explore that fear.
Now I enter into a brand new chapter and part of that chapter is building a foundation along what I have spent the better part of lifetimes formulating thru the soul's eternal quest. And when love is true there is not always a need to call and say I love you. As love becomes more true it is reflected in our very being and that love needs to start within ourselves, and I will start with myself right here right now.
And that is all we can do, is start with ourselves.