I find myself in a place of feeling neither particularly ecstatic nor sad. I am feeling on a very even keel and there is a part of my mind that feels it needs the extremes of happiness or sadness. Yet there are only feelings acceptance and peace, and not too much taking place in my external life in this respect.
But whether things are up or down, I want to keep this even-mindedness in my experience of all things that may or may not come my way. I feel myself as the watcher and observer of my experience, as well as the experience of those around me. I am not sure if this mood makes for the most exciting writing. But things don't always need to be exciting nor do they need to be dull.
I have watched so many people come in and out of my life and more and more it has taught me to love with detachment, because attachment does not seem to help anyone through life's processes. I find that I am much more beneficial to those around me when I am feeling this peaceful and even keel. The key for me is not trying to force anything right now, remaining patient in this present moment and continuing to listen to my inner guidance.
The saying is that it is calm before the storm, and ulitmately I seek to be the calm at all times and never be thrown out my center into the storm by whatever may come my way. I am working towards not being a slave to the whims of my sensory perceptions. I am striving to remain objective when observing my behaviors, and to remain present to subconscious agendas that I may have.
To the mind, peace can seem boring because it often seeks a chaotic state in order to maintain its hold on you. The greater your peace becomes, the less of a hold your mind has on you. And you neither chase after happiness nor indulge in sadness. I was looking back yesterday and today on my earlier years and how much more angst there was, and how far I have come from that early part of my journey. So I here I am, valuing the discovery of a simple state of mind where I can just be like a five-year-old, blissed on breathing and dancing and singing and enjoying all the simple things. Recently, I have been longing for Georgia, a feeling that has manifested through listening to the song "Midnight Train to Georgia". I want to go to the hostel in the Forest, among other things. It is time to utilize my couchsurfing profile and venture out into new terroritory. Though it might be a few months before I make this trek, I feel Georgia on my mind and with it the desire to deepen my meditations and share my bliss in nature, enjoying the beauty of the sun and experiencing some Southern hospitality.