A New Dawn

This is what's up with me. I am in Portland seeing deeper and deeper into myself and facing fears and dealing with emotions and figuring truly what I want beyond any sort of goal accomplishments. People are waking and I can see it the eyes of the people that I gaze upon every day. I only represent a small fraction of what is about to happen. I will represent a whole new craze in the sense of people being mad for God/Love/Universe without any religious affiliation in the mainstream not just some "new age" craze. The divisions are coming down and I am meeting with new people each day who will have a large say in which the way this world is going. It won't take as much as people believe for a new day to come.

The way of going about things will not hold. Each one of us is responsible for our own awakening. I know that all of you are part of this in some way shape or form. Just smile, laugh and stay present in this moment because that is what allows the magic to happen. Being in the moment is similar to that feeling of your life feeling like a movie that gives you chills and hits your emotions. Stop playing it safe, don't settle, because it all ends before your eyes can blink. Don't live in fear of something that was not even real. Eyes open, especially the 3rd one which can be tricky but just open it up because people are going to need you to use that extra sight to the guide them in the times ahead.

Waves of passion and fire and never for a second doubt that we all have a place in this producution that we call life.

It hurts so Bad

So you want to tear out your hair and dance naked in the rain in a busy city street because you have reached that breaking point when you realized that you've been had. You've been told so much nonsense and now you just want to be swallowed by Moby Dick and tell the Captain to go fuck himself because he is wasting his time. That is right Oh Captain my Captain find yourself another quest because I don't want to be anyone's charity case. It is over between you me and the editor. No m ore editors let it be sloppy. Hyperventilate into your paper bag because I will give you something to freak out about. You can guranatee that I will give you something to lose your breath over. Let me take your breath away because you weren't reeally using it for anything anyway. This is raw and right out of that place that is just tired of being kicked around and I don't need anything other than to stay hungry. Cut quickeer then you could pick up your knife. Why do you want me so bad if you couldn't handle me anyway. So it is at a point where something has to burst. I am going to snap out of this dream in the blink of an eye I will it so and the will is fierce and the hearrt is willing. Give me extra letters and don't butterr me up in some sort of attempt to shoot me up with dope. I don't want to be numb I am here so look at my hands and tell me if you see your destiny in them. I'll keep them wide open and energy beams will shoot on thru them as I have peeled away the layers. Give me your imperfections and I'll tell you that I am jusst a giant boy and the universe tells me I have a role to play so I am here to play and if you have any questions get the anwsers from yourself because it is Christ within you that saves.

Sincerely your favorite lover/sinner/winner and guest for dinner,
Te'DeVan

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Greatest Happens Can Happen Accidentally

If we allow ourselves to constantly to be doing the things that we truly enjoy and are passionate about in our lives as much as possible we would all experience more joy. The side effect of this type of living is that truly great things start to unfold around us all the time. It is one enjoyable action, after another and then it spreads and becomes contagious. We truly alter the world thru this mentality. Many of our great actions could be stopping and hugging a tree, asking someone if we can help them out, taking the time to listen, planting flowers in a retired person's home. All of these thinga are quite simple, but have the potential to alter everything that we know.

The world changes quicker as we allow that amaxing change to take place thru us in each and every moment. We must allow ourselves to take chances towards the things we desire and the eventual outcomes will be perecieved as greatness in regards to events that unfold.

Tell Me Lies Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

It is more than just a catchy 80's song if you ask me. I think many of us, myself included, love to hear sweet little lies. My favorite one is that "I want to be with you forever" (or until you piss me off). Another favorite is "I know best" (I just don't want to be questioned in any way, shape or form). We live in a world where we beg people to tell us the truth and call them cruel and hurtful when they do. So instead we want people to tell us sweet little lies especially the people that we are intimate with. We want them to tell us there has never been anyone like us and they don't know how they could go on without us. We want to be told that we are their sun, moon, and earth. We want them to confess their undying love for us (even if it only lasts as long as the orgasm fades). Though I do my best to demand the truth from myself and any woman that I become involved with, I also suffer from the desire to hear sweet little lies.

Often what seems sweet is actually vicious and what seems vicious might ultimately be sweeter in the long run. I am curious to hear your favorite sweet little lies. Talking greatly increases the likelihood to tell lies. We spend so much time uttering nonsense and that nonsense is a series of lies that becomes more lies. I want the truth when it is needed. When you change your mind about something, let me know instead of pretending you still feel the same when you don't. I promise we will all be better off in the short and long run. Lies have a damaging effect on our being. I met a chi-gong master and he would say "If you tell one lie then you must tell three more lies". I never forgot that quote.

My favorite lies:
1) Lying about having a boyfriend/husband thru omission/vagueness (you want my attention and are scared to lose it)
2) Telling me how you would love to have a threesome (even though there is not a snowball's chance in hell)
3) Telling me money doesn't matter (it usually matters a little bit)
4) Telling me you haven't slept with anyone else since the last time I saw you
etc... I think you get the point. What is our obsession with lies? Do we love the extra pain and suffering that they cause. How scary can the truth really be? I am going to examine where my intention is at this moment and do my best to speak truth and feel the greatness of truth.

A blog for laughter

There a couple of things that I want to bring to your attention.
1)Spiritual healing is a better way to get kicked off college campuses than drug dealing.
2) Safe Sex is a great way to dissuade people from wearing a condom. Dangerous sex sounds much more appealing than safe sex. Basic marketing tells you that. To promote sex with condoms, it should be called "experimental sex" or "dangerous sex" or "extra sex plus."
3) My father and mother have no idea whatsoever how I turned out the way I did so if you ever meet them don't bother to ask.
4) Sex with your cousin does not make you an inbred, only the child between the two of you would be inbred.
5) I have never had a threesome despite all my talking and writing about it.
6) George Bush, despite your criticisms of him, will most likely remain in office until the end of his term in 2008.
7) I am still a virgin in that same way Madonna is like a virgin.
8) New York City and I will always have torrid love affairs.
9) I take myself a bit too seriously more often then I let on.
10) My parents secretly think that I might be the messiah, but are still waiting for the New York Times to report it first.
11) My sister makes about 20 times more than me a year and I am proud of her for it. She has offered to send my non-existent children to private school.
12) Chronic masturbation helped me to be asexual during school hours in high school, but it also made me horriblely sluggish.
13) The first time I had sex I was a 4 pump chump - maybe 8 (but she was in a semi-rush to get back to work).
14) I love most - probably all - women with whom I have ever made eye contact.
15) The White House press secretary is going to fall in love with me.
16) I will rule Holy White House (a fusion between Hollywood and the White House. Ronald Regan was a fusion of bad cowboy actors and republicans, which was certainly a starting point).
17) Being in Portland is secretly all about my desire to be Tyler Dirden.
18) I will try not to sleep with your sister/girlfriend/cousin, but if they hit on me I will crumble quicker then Bill Clinton at a whore house during happy hour.
19) I have said more then enough repugnant statements in my life, yet I still proclaim myself a Christian (a follower of Christ or at least the Christ of my liking).

And The Beat Goes On

Recently I just got banned from Reed College as I had previously been banned from Lewis & Clark along with SVA in (NYC). It appears that despite the many friends I had on campus that a few kids were uncomfortable with my presence and it only takes a few. Intially I was disappointed that this has happened to me again, but it was a smiliar moment just like this one, that lead to one of my greatest moments in my life thus far. I was on a ferry and this angry woman was yelling at me to turn off the music in the car. Since the music was off I went over and talked this girl I had made eye contact with earlier. This lead to me and her swimming naked in the bay and making love on the beach. It was one of the greatest love making experiences of my life and it was all made possible because of one angry woman yelling at me.

Sometimes something that seems awful or just a large annoyance is the best thing that ever happened. Somehow getting kicked off of Reed's campus will end up being the best thing that ever happened to me. It has totally transformed my schedule and all the people I will end up interacting with as a result. I truly believe this and I am very excited about what the days ahead have in store for me. It is important to look at things beyond our control as an opportunity to have a greater adventure. When the rug gets pulled out from underneath you allow yourself to rediscover the wood underneath the rug. I will always think fondly of my brief time at Reed and will have a sweet spot in my heart for the school and the friends that I made there.

Middle America (a.k.a the red states) are going to LOve US

This may come as a surprise to you, but I am thoroughly convinced that Middle America is going to love me. I am going to reach them in ways nobody has ever previously thought of. I am going to walk a mile in their shoes and not judge them for the shoes that they wear. And when they make fun of me I will laugh too and I am going to form an alliance with these people because they are people that have been isolated for too long. We need to bring this part of our family back home and let them know of what is going on in the world. Soon thousands and thousands of couchsurfers from everywhere will be arriving in Middle America and ?they? will start to become more aware of the world through this influx of nomads into their homes. (improve) We will collectively help them get over their fear of strangers. (specify them and what the condition of middle america is. Doesn't make sense to compare middle america (place) to them (people))

Awareness is something that is inevitable and people holding anger/disdain against those who are not aware does not help to bring about change. It brings about more unnecessary gridlock. When people are scared there is no real reason to try and make them more fearful. At one point or another we have all been afraid of something. Middle Americans fears change and a feeling of being left behind or feeling out of step. Lets help them to not feel this way. Many of them will yell and scream at me and I will merely smile and tell them that I love them anyway and that peaceful change will not go away.

Our collective evolution is the most powerful revolution and we are all coming together to realize how everything we do effects everything else. A smile or just telling an inspirational story to one person can have massive effects. Let your actions not be reactionary responses because that will only repeat the same drama. Diffuse the situation by using your own opponents force against them. Do not become overly agitated but instead continue to find your meditative center. Get to the point where you understand the nonsense so it no longer consumes you. Be there for Middle Americans for the change is coming.

I'm Back In College

I now attend Reed College in Portland or so it seems. I am a freshmen all over again and I live with an Indian guy named Anand all over again. School just started and I got here about 2 weeks late which is right on time for me. After all I was in Black Rock City. The move has not become official yet, but it appears to the outside observer and myself that I now attend college at Reed. I really love this school they let you run around Naked. More schools need to allow that on their campus. I don't think I will be getting kicked off this campus anytime soon. I was destined to go back to school and, Now I have, but I must continue to meditate and write so that I can help spawn greater revolution inside of myself. I miss all of you my friends wherever you maybe. I have been adopted by the dorm know as the "outhouse". A friend that I made at Bonnaroo goes to school here and thank to a friend from named Patrick from www.couchsurfing.com I have found myself in the mist of college life once again.

College without the colleges is quite wonderful I think I will be teaching some classes soon involving healing, meditation, couchsurfing and brainstorming some good merry prankster stunts. It only takes 8 very dedicated people to spawn a contagious uncontrolable bush fire of a revolution. I remember a pledge I made to step onto every college campus in this nation and it certainly seems to be the case more and more. Infiltrating colleges is the key to a massive revolution in this country. I have said it before and I will say it again the revolution explodes with the youth. I am merely here to make the path more accessible. I will keep you posted on my Portland planting.

What is the Deal With Burning Man?

For those of you who don't know there is a place that exists for about 8 days in Nevada every year around this time. It is called Black Rock City and as quickly as it appears it disappears. Some of you might know of this place as Burning Man. It is something that I recommend that you explore at least once if not more in your life. Let's just say it has aspects of Halloween, Tailgate party, Meditation retreat, swingers club, Rave,Fashion & art show, Couchsurfers, etc...

Simply put, it is a place that is very open for whatever you want to express in anyway that you want to express it. It is a place where people who have RV trailers are considered to be upper class. It is a place where most people have little interest in talking about what they do for living unless they are truly passionate about it. It is a place where you can walk around with your boxers around your knees and telling people that you are the mayor and most people will assume that you must indeed be the mayor. It is a place to really let go of your fears and inhibitions. It is one of my favorite cities in the country, but the thing is it only exists for about 8 days, but it will feel like 80 days or more because of all the experiences that you will have. Black Rock City is always a good indicator to see how far you have come and far you truly desire to go.

I send you all my best and wanted you to know that there is a place out there that you can call home for 8 days called Black Rock City and I'm your crazy mayor. Much love and evolution

Te'DeVan Rocketman Wacha Kurzweil

Okay The Middle East Has Looked Better

Okay I am not an expert on foreign policy by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that there will be more turblence ahead and more violence, but eventually this will all come to an end. The worlds dependency on oil has made this situation worse because the world supplies these countries weapons which certainly causes more problems.

It seems at times that when looking at the situation that everyone there seems to dislike everyone else, but this will all change in about 8 years. Why 8 years you ask I am not actually sure I just think 8 seems like a pretty magic number. And what we need in the middle east is a whole lot of magic. And by magic I mean the ability to make everyone forget all the previous fighting and start with a blank slate. How can this happen you ask? Love which also includes sex that is so amazing that people can't remember how to load a gun much less have the motivation to fire it. If we loved more and part of love is taking your time during sex then there would be less time for war. It is really true when they say make love not war. So simpe but so true I would rather be making love then going to war any day of the week. We need to improve the world's love lifes. Though I joke I am also somewhat serious.

If people loved to garden more or loved to play sports more or loved to write more there would simply be less time for war and less time for oil consumption. Now I can be certain but I think there is some odd correlation between oil consumption and the intensity of war in the middle east. Perhaps if this country and other countries relied more on other forms of energy perhaps it would help to diffuse the middle east and perhaps in 8 years or less that will become the case.

Things in the world were once peaceuful and they shall become that way again even in the turblent middle east, especially in the middle east.

Its ALL Happening

Anyone out there feeling the earth shifting? because I swear we are in the midst of swing that I can't even begin to get at in words. I feel my ability to heal and sense things before they happen is becoming much stronger. As any one of us evolves it makes easier for other people to do the same. The rolling ball of evolution was dropped a long time ago and now we are approaching critical mass. More and more I find myself nsync with things going on around me. I am resisting less and less and it is helping me fly further and further. Your awakening is also my awakening and soon many of us will come together in ways unimagined and there will be a whole lot of shaking going on.

Recently I have noticed more and more people from foreign countries are reading this blog and I realize that what I am saying is getting out into the world. Even if it causes just the smallest glimpse of inward introspection it means that we as species are getting closer to realizing a more peaceful existence. I am not an astrologer, but I can feel a shift similar to the feeling when you realize that the team that is up by 20 points is going to end up losing the game. THe tide is turning and I see a fleet of vegetable oil buses going around this country and bringing about rapid changes. The people are ready to grow and nothing can stand in their way.

I will be everywhere and anywhere spreading this message of our interconnectedness, but it is something that must be internalized not intellectualized in order for lasting change to form. Take a moment right now and do something that makes you more aware of something around you that you had previously never given thought to. Think of the process involved in making your computer work or turning your light on. These are all things that are very intricate and by themselves seem to accomplish very little until the moment the light comes on. The light is about to come on my friends and once it comes on it can never be turned off in any way shape or form.

I send my love to all of you who are reading this and using this to become more enmeshed in the moment your in. Use your ability to create and just let things unfold accordingly.

Give Me A Prophecy

And I'll give you a prophet. It happened and you know it; stop kidding yourself there is a reason that you can't sleep. You woke up and with it we all woke up. It was your dream and then you became a part of the dream. Miracle pranksters, here we come because we were born for a prophecy just like we were told, but they twisted it and now in the moment of clarity it has become untwisted and we all just pause.

Sure I go to extremes and somewhere in between I find a balance and free falling that Tom Petty would envy. Into the great wide open there is a truth and you need to stare it straight in the face and laugh, cry, scream, and just stop. Fuck and forget what they said because they said it out of fear. Dream bigger then anyone accepts as plausible and never stop being that dream. We are all wanderers even if we seem not to leave our towns, villages, or cities very often. Every night I see all of you on a realm where we construct this very world that begs to bring forth a beauty that makes us stop.

We all run so fast, spinning wheels and getting nowhere because we were always there. Accept the new eyes being offered and perecieve this world for all the amazing things that it offers. View as it alien here on a temporary adventure/vacation and you will never grow tired of anything.

Get on the bus, boat, plane or car and let's charter a new course. Let's send this game into overtime and let's all nail that shot, the one that is impossible; accept that we nail it all the time in our dreams and this is our dream. We stop and drop into the river and ocean and go with this current but see everything pass us by as we remain in a state of serenity.

Who is The Messiah

Instead of American Idol we should have a new show called American Messiah. I think it would be fascinating who the American people would choose as their messiah and then our Messiah could go head to head with other people's messiah. We all seem to want someone to worship, but all of the people we worship are usually very vain, destrutive, or apathetic towards anything other then their careers. The more self absorb they are the more we seem to admire them. Maybe we should pick a half way decent messiah and maybe somebody will start to ponder and with that pondering a change would take place. That change would spread and all of sudden people would not be held in bondage by religion but feel relief and true freedom instead as we probably intended.

Most religious people I have come across are so in their heads they miss the point of everything that they spout from their own mouths. If we transcend thought then we start to realize the oneness of everything. Wake Up Wake up wake up and I will do the same and we might realize that we are all sleeping messiahs. I do believe everyone has the potential to be a messiah they just need to become aware of themselves and the world that we are currently emeshed in. Somehow the sane people are crazy and the crazy people are at very the least more sincere. So if the messiah is reading this which I am sure that they are wake up to who you are and I'll do the same and maybe we could bring some people back from the dead and perhaps they already have come back.

This idea of a messiah intrigues many people and they talk about a messiah complex, but really a few more messiahs in the mix would be an awesome thing. I am in Boulder and then I am going to Burning Man and I will keep on the look out for a messiah and if you find a good one notify me. I was recently part of a project and they were looking for a messiah they actually chose me and another guy, but I am still looking for clues as to where this mysterious messiah may rest. I feel that we are so close and once all the illusions fade away they will make their presence known. Long live the American Messiah and long live alll messiahs for that fact.

A little Something

Somehow in life we are inspired by people that we never knew or met or are inspired by people we never even existed. I just get out there becasue it is the only thing that makes sense to me. I won't let anyone especially myself box me into what I have to do or where I have to be. I have a cosmic wave that I am riding and with that wave comes change and change is the basis of life. Of course you probably know this now live it. All things change so that new things can come about. I am currently in Boulder Colorado listening to Radiohead and taking a moment to just write.

It does not matter what you write about as long as you mean what you say in that moment of course moments change and people are nervous about their next move when everything is in doubt. I get pulled to places and people and I arrive at moment just before major change. I learn from each encounter. I have found a peace inside of myself in every place that I venture to and something there for me to realize. There is a waking up taking place and it will change everything that we know even now. This change is taking place and we are all part of this massive change. We are all maigcal if we open ourselves up and not try to shut down and numb ourselves. It is okay to cry and be sad these are emotions that have to be processed, There is nothing wrong with being scared, but you just push forward and follow your intution. Either play it safe or go all out don't just sit in the middle.

I want to reach out and grab everyone of you and know that all encounters help us to become more aware if we allow ourselves to experience this awareness. We are all rolling stones and thru that movement we create networks of energy that bring about a new way. The old model wiill not work so start creating new ones. We can not sustain ourselves unless we start to inwardly reflect and slow down. A little something is all we need to change everything. A little something exists inside of us and does not need to be sought externally.

The Coolest Hipster Ever

The Stock Market Will Crash

I know this is really weird thing to blog about, but I can't help it. I was meditating and I got this strong feeling that the Dow Jones and the rest of the market was going to a major turn towards the downside in the next 6-12 months and continue downward for a while. I am sure some expert out there might think the same thing, but my opinion is merely based on a feeling. I would say there would be a 40-45% correction within 2 years time or less. I would put my money if I had any in precious metals, overseas markets and real estate (when paper is not worth anything land still has value).

Someday somebody will find this and say holy shit and it will have slipped my mind that I even wrote this, but we are due for so major changes in this world and the stock market crashing will be an outward indicator of this change. We are a very over extended nation and we need to collectively self reflect a bit more and see what really matters and what we need and what we don't need. A stock market crash will certainly trigger that for many people. I recommend that you meditate on this idea and see what comes thru for you, but this is what I got while meditating yesterday.

much love and evolution,
Te'DeVan

It's All Smiley's Fault (and maybe Doctor Jones as well)

I think it is about time like every good politician that I blame everything on someone else who may or may not be real. His name is Smiley and "He Hates All Mass Media". Or at least he has yelled this phrase a couple of times while extremely drunk and maybe sober. If it was not for him I would be a stockbroker/investment banker with short hair living the life that was more expected of me (think wall street but taller).

But one day in LBI on a beach pier nearby a police station he yelled down to me "Hey you want to start a revolution". Without missing a beat I replied "Heell to the yeah" or maybe just "Hell yeah" time has faded my memory on exactly what my response was. This is the moment that everyone can look back on and say it was all his fault. I am not upset about all the craziness that has ensued and will continue to ensue, but I just wanted to take this time to tell you it was all Smiley's fault and perhaps a man who goes by Doctor Jones (who is not actully a doctor, but he does have lots of patience) who was involved in more ways then I could even begin to imagine. I feel that they had scoped me out for years without my knowledge. They knew what I was capable of and decided without my knowing that I would be the one. They knew that I could not resist such an offer. The offer of a lifetime (the one that Castro had given to Che back in the day) to bring about a revolution at a point in society where most people had given up on such an idea or merely viewed it as fantasy.

They knew that I was indeed naive enough and crazy enough to attempt this revolution and so it was decided in mid-August of 2000 without my knowledge that I would start this revolution.
I am truly thankful that I was chosen by the powers that be to start this revolution and have no regrets, but when it all goes down and they are looking for clues on how all this took place I suggest talking to Smiley and Doctor Jones, assuming they actually exist and people around me have not just be humoring me about their existence for the last six years. Sometimes I wonder if I might be living in some sort of fight club world (without the violence or operation mayhem) with the same idea of breaking down the system in ways that nobody; and I mean nobdy saw coming with the exception of Smiley and Doctor Jones.

Whether they are real or not does not matter, but when you want someone to blame for me going so far off the deep end blame them, but I will still always thank both of them from the bottom of my heart. When a revolution came knocking I couldn't resist. Could you?

It's All Smiley's Fault (and maybe Doctor Jones as well)

I think it is about time like every good politician that I blame everything on someone else who may or may not be real. His name is Smiley and "He Hates All Mass Media". Or at least he has yelled this phrase a couple of times while extremely drunk and maybe sober. If it was not for him I would be a stockbroker/investment banker with short hair living the life that was more expected of me (think wall street but taller).

But one day in LBI on a beach pier nearby a police station he yelled down to me "Hey you want to start a revolution". Without missing a beat I replied "Heell to the yeah" or maybe just "Hell yeah" time has faded my memory on exactly what my response was. This is the moment that everyone can look back on and say it was all his fault. I am not upset about all the craziness that has ensued and will continue to ensue, but I just wanted to take this time to tell you it was all Smiley's fault and perhaps a man who goes by Doctor Jones (who is not actully a doctor, but he does have lots of patience) who was involved in more ways then I could even begin to imagine. I feel that they had scoped me out for years without my knowledge. They knew what I was capable of and decided without my knowing that I would be the one. They knew that I could not resist such an offer. The offer of a lifetime (the one that Castro had given to Che back in the day) to bring about a revolution at a point in society where most people had given up on such an idea or merely viewed it as fantasy.

They knew that I was indeed naive enough and crazy enough to attempt this revolution and so it was decided in mid-August of 2000 without my knowledge that I would start this revolution.
I am truly thankful that I was chosen by the powers that be to start this revolution and have no regrets, but when it all goes down and they are looking for clues on how all this took place I suggest talking to Smiley and Doctor Jones, assuming they actually exist and people around me have not just be humoring me about their existence for the last six years. Sometimes I wonder if I might be living in some sort of fight club world (without the violence or operation mayhem) with the same idea of breaking down the system in ways that nobody; and I mean nobdy saw coming with the exception of Smiley and Doctor Jones.

Whether they are real or not does not matter, but when you want someone to blame for me going so far off the deep end blame them, but I will still always thank both of them from the bottom of my heart. When a revolution came knocking I couldn't resist. Could you?

Someone In Iran Inspired This One

Recently I was looking thru the ticker on my blog which tells me where people are reading my blog from and I was shocked an estatic to see that someone from Iran was looking at my blog. I could only begin to imagine who that would be and I just want you to know I hope to do something about changing the foreign policies of this country and move them more in the direction of peace.

I am just wanderer in country where people can't seem to let themselves wander just because they desire to wander. Not all who wander are aimless is the famous quote and not all who are aimless wander. Some of them seem content not to explore, but I desire to explore and remember my many lives past. Recently I have not been fired up to write, but knowing that was reaching someone all the way in Iran made me realize the one amazing benefit of something like the internet.

I am currently in Chicago and the only somewhat certain plans I have is to make it to Burning Man and meet some amazing adventurers and people that tip the scales. This revolution starts deep inside of our core and continues to spread as we all ourselves to pause our minds and increase our awareness. I am aware of you and you are now aware of me. I want peace and I will find inside of myself and make it thru all the doubt and fear to get there because the peace has to come from within if it is to be lasting.

Dance Dance Dance

I love to dance and when I do people flip out and then I flip out more and I nobody expects me to talk while I am dancing. It is so simple it is movements made inspired by music that you are enjoying. It is wonderful to express who you are thru your movements and then people learn more about then they would of having an hour of typical conversation. Dancing personifies being and is something that so many people claim that can't do. I have yet to meet a three year old who can't dance. Stop censoring yourself from expressing yourself especially when you are joyful. Life is a dance that never begins or ends.

I want you to dance wherever and whenever the inspiration strikes. I want you to stop taking things entirely too seriously to the point that you can't seem to enjoy anything. Let it all out and twist and shout and twist and shout and stop whining about a lack of dance skills. It is not a dance off it is about being and feeling aliving and encouraging others to do the same.

Remember all she wants to do is dance dance and that is all I want to do as well.

It is All Inside

I don't know what I am doing and I have not fully realized who I am and I still get caught up in things that don't matter and sometimes I lose sight of the most important things, but I continue to catch myself doing it and make changes in a more immediate fashion. I am not enlightened merely another human trying to remember his soul. I am immensely happy and though not easily angered or annoyed I have my moments. I try to stay connected to my breath and all the amazing things that exist in the current moment.

I am on quest to be the impossible dream and I am here to play it out all the way. I recently had the pleasure of seeing Amma again and sometimes by seeing such a remarkable individual we are inspired in ways we don't understand and sometimes it is subtle and sometimes it is more dramatic, but either is significant. I know that if I want to see a change in the world it truly needs to start by me going deeper inside of myself on a regular basis and participating in things that bring about a stronger sense of fullfillment. Life is too short not to pursue what exists inside of ourselves. Nobody can offer me utopia unless we find it inside of ourselves. Yet, seeing it reflected in another person makes it easier to find it within.

Good Vibrations

Desperately seeking something a little more absurd

I need something a little more absurd in my life. Somewhere along the way of in this sea of not trying to be like everyone else, I have boxed myself into this contrived 6’7” free rapping chi gong healing Jew hat everyone thinks is so unique or so original but at this point neither do I find it unique or original.

It’s more just something I do. I feel somehow ordinary, and not that being ordinary bothers me, but I need something more absurd in an eccentric wet dream sort of way.

I want to ride camels through New York City spouting out the philosophies of Dead Kennedys. I want to be in an 80s rock band. I want to suddenly discover that I have pitch. I want to wake up to find out that I really am a lesbian black Eskimo trapped in the real world . I want to fight walruses and fuck tigers. I want to make David Bowie look painfully straight. I want to cut like a ninja fucking his dead mother in Prince’s purple rain. I want to be a King of Spain even if no one will acknowledge me as such. I want to be the princess of Barcelona. I want to succeed from Union Square Park within Union Square Park and create a special park for people’s balls who hang really low and who somehow don’t know that they’re balls hang really low until they walk around at Burning Man and someone says “Hey, you’re balls hang really low.”

I want to develop profound crushes on autistic 40 year old women who work the counter at Whole Foods while I whack off in the magazine section thinking of pixies and fairies and the autistic 40 year old woman who works the counter at Whole Foods. And mermaids.

I want to breathe through my dorsal. WHAT THE HELL IS A DORSAL? (I’ve just been informed it’s a fin). I want to commit sins and still win. I want to kick Tin Tins ass. I don’t so much want to shoot Lassie but piss in his eyes. I want to wrestle the Beaver, take the Partridge Family on a real adventure, and insist that no matter how light my complexion may be that I am really a part of the Jackson Five and that everyone just can’t remember. I want to give head to Hillary Clinton and I want everything I write now to be used against me at a later time. I want my sanity or lack of sanity to be put in question, and I want people to know if insane is really just a better way to go, or if we should even go at all ,or if George Michael was really wrong to wake me up before we go-go.

And I want Wham and the son of Sam to get together and rid the world of Spam. And ham! Because pigs have 30 minute orgasms - don’t you forget it. And if they call you a pig fucker for knowing it, smile and say ‘better to fuck pigs than corpses and mannequins masquerading as people.’

I want to seethe out my pores with an ever ending flow of red carpet shooting out of my orifices asking for someone actually genuinely interesting, interested in a dramatic change of events to walk down that carpet, wearing nothing but their boxes, singing songs about Debbie Gibson. Because only electric youth can jam the circuits and only when we jam the circuits can we have black outs in New York City and only then can class barriers be broken down and only then can I fuck the cute girl in the Upper West Side who smiled at me because I don’t ski and I don’t summer where she does and I don’t wear Burberry unless someone gives it to me.

I want to glorify Gucci and kill Prada.

I want to be the biggest contradiction you ever thought about fucking. Or not fucking. Or hugging, or kissing, or missing or dissing or pissing in the wind and you realize if you piss in the wind that they’re this thing called urine therapy so if you swallow your own piss it’s actually therapeutic.

Think about something. Think about everything. Think about nothing, think about winking, think about blinking, think about Fight Club, think about too many Rubber Duckies in the tub. Think about the hub of your life and who you are in that hub, think about not thinking and just being loved from above.

Seeing, said, match, absurdist mission, be gone.

Cars Computers and televisions are not the only things evoloving

People love to talk about and think about how all these things are evoloving, but very few people discuss how we maybe evolving and what we are headed towards. It is my firm belief (knowing) that as species we are heading towards a point that more and more people will start to become aware of their natural abilites that we still ignorantly call supernatural. In most first world countries this sort of thing is considered nonsense and something to be talked about or discussed, but I know that we are evolving and with that evolution we shall become more aware of that other 90% of our brain that is often ignored.

I believe that we all have telekentic, psychic, healing, channeling abilities. Yes that is right - I believe that all of us are x-men of a sort, accept we usually call these people mystics instead. Our culture does not put an emphasis in going inside and finding these gifts. Many of these gifts will be of some amazing benefit to all of us as we continue to enter into more turbulent times. Our ability to make our mind still is the first key to tapping into these subtle energy fields that exist around us, but it is a process and not a process that will show scientifically acceptable results initally, but I have never been one for science because dismisses that which it can not understand under its current system and constructs. I am interested in the one out of a thousand or one out of a billion that has found these innate abilities inside of themselves. There is more then enough evidence out there that leads me to the conclusion that we are all heading in this direction and soon many of us will be developing our innate abilities.

One of the key components to tapping into these gifts is making the mind quiet and from there the sky is the limit as Biggie would say.

Something Important

Most writers want to say something meaningful or something that defines a generation or something that will help you get paid or laid. I probably write for all these reasons, but I also write because I am slightly egotistical and obcessive compulsive and I feel that I have to write. If I don't get these thoughts out there and some random person living in Denmark, Japan, Italy, Tennesse, Florida, Jersey, or Canda does not know my thoughts on many various subjects then I might just simply fall apart. My whole identity rests on checking my ticker and seeing who is reading my blog and from where they currently reside. I get bonus points if I have never heard of the place or if it is really far away.

I often wander how the hell people find this blog and what goes thru their mind as they are reading this. Has anyone actually gone forward with any of the ideas I put out there into cyber space. I now currently average a bit over 20 people a day who view this blog. This is the equilvalent of teaching some sort of highschool class where the subject matter changes everyday and if the students get bored they will stop reading the material.

Figure out the one important thing that you want to do in your life and pursue that to the fullest without even considering any sort of compromise of your passion. I want all of you to further revolution in your own personal life. We all have immense potential if we just slow down enough and allow ourselves to see it. I write in hopes that I can inspire just a few people to live the life they have always dreamed of and make the world a bit more colorful because we are in desperate need of a laugh. May the joksters become kings and the kings become dragon food and may the queen say "I told you so" (even if she didn't). We need more well publicized gonzo journalists delivering the news because these other guys are just blending together and seem fairly non-descript with the exception of Andy Rooney.

We must write so that people know that someone somewhere has a dissenting opinion that they are willing to share.

What Should I write About

Sometimes when we write no specific topic comes to mind, but we want to write. I love writing because it allows me to reach quite a few people and hopefully impact their day in a positive way. I want people to be relentlessly in pursuing what they want, but not to forget to enjoy the pursuit. A revolution comes in the strangest way because intially you can not see it and only if you speak the truth will the people be moved.

May I prick like a vine as you taste the grapes of wrath and we are all characters from our favorite books and movies. I want to wake up because sleeping hurts too much. I am a flower wilting in a jungle of concrete but I come back and I come back like Ivy on the walls and the writing on these walls becomes brighter to the point that you have to take notice. I have no magic that you don't possess yourself. If there is one difference it is that I am almost dogmatic in following this magic and letting it guide me in all ways. I will not deny the pull and when I feel it I will go and nothing can stand in my way accept myself. Stop time and Dance Magic Dance and find that we are living in a world that most people ignore, but it does not mean that it is not there. All things are where they need to be and we are loved by beings we are not sure exist anymore.

They all exist and I can feel there loving embrace and I ask for their assitance and that I may continue to have the courage to follow where they guide me to.

You Should Know

This goes out to everybody who has come into my life no matter how briefly. I just wanted to say a very sincere thank you. To all those people who ever gave a couch/bed/floor/tent/extra room to sleep in I just wanted to say thank you. Anyone who ever gave me money to freestyle rap...anyone who ever let me use my healing gift to help them on their path as I helped myself on my path...to anyone who ever gave me a good laugh, cry or smile of any sorts...Thank You.

Thank you's are challenging because there are so many things I can thank you for, but how could I express it all. Sometimes since I can't express it in words that which I am thankful for, I might not even make an attempt and merely give you a look and hope that says it all and hope that you caught the look. You are the people that have helped make my life what is today. I want to especially thank anyone that has ever bet on a long shot, because life itself is a very long shot. Don't ever stop betting on long shots because when they come thru they come thru big and even if they don't, the adventure that they give you makes it all worthwhile.

The world around us is changing rapidly and all of the people that I write this to are a part of this change in one way or another. Time has taught me more patience, humitlity, and bit of senility, but not so much that I can not stop and say thank you. Thank you to the people that have given me rides or taken me out to a breakfast, lunch or dinner. To anyone who has ever cooked me a meal or was there for me to talk to when I really needed it. There is no way in life to truly understand what we have meant to someone, but I lose track what all of you have meant to me at some point. I want to say thank you for helping me to dream bigger and realize that I am the dream and that we all collectively make up the dream fabric like a giant organic cotton/hemp quilt. Where would I be without you is a question that I don't have to ever answer and thank you for making that the case.

Thank you especially to all the women that have helped make me such a romantic about life and all things living. Every one of you has a real special place in my heart. And to any woman whose heart I broke, I apologize sometimes I trample harder than I mean to and there is an art to trampling that I hope to become graceful at-- And reach that point where I always make your life better than it was before I entered.

Let Go Of Tomorrow For Today

You have now this very moment to start a revolution, begin a romance, have a spontaneous romance, find something in your life that gives you meaning, experience something that will alter the way you envision the world. To forgive yourself, to find that which makes you blissful. To forget about tomorrow and embrace this very moment. The moment is always here you just choose to ignore here because later has got to be better and offers safe love from a distance with no chance to be hurt.

You and I formulate a new world in this very precise moment and we know that it started when we let go of the day that has yet to come for the day that already is. For some people tomorrow is their worse enemy because only then will they take the steps to bring about a life that they desire. For others tomorrow is day they hope will never come because they don't want life to catch up with them. They live always trying to escape the moment they are in. We are immortal though are bodies are mortal and for many of this creates discomfort and some of us don't believe that we are immortal.

I have a hopeful future, but I also have a hopeful present that is full of amazing, loving and eccentric people that have greatly enriched my life in countless ways. I wonder who I met will re-enter my life and what new role they will play. Even as I type now I just paused to take a breath and ground myself in this moment. To become comfortable with the uncertainty of the future makes the present moment more meaningful and we can immerse ourselves in the people and places that we are currently in, instead of living somewhere over the rainbow. Though I adore the rainbow, I know the rainbow is right outside your window and has always been, but at certain points it becomes more clear. The course for the future is easier to set upon once we have made peace with the moment of now. Turn off the mind and is effortless to be immersed in the cosmic wave and the dream like feeling that comes from that experience.

Funny Fantasy

Okay so I totally want to have a threesome with a beautiful girl named Virginia and another beautiful girl from Virginia. Of course this would hold true of Georgia, Kentucky, Indiana, or any other place for that matter. Truthfully, any two beautiful bi-sexual girls not doing it for the money (or at least assuming I am not aware of it) and me in a threesome, are nice. Lets be honest, I probably won't turn it down if one of them is named Sally and the other is from Virginia. But for whatever reason, this specific detail really appeals to me, and I recently saw that someone from West Virgnia was looking at my blog and Whoever you maybe, I will pretend that you are a beautiful bi-sexual woman who wants to have the most mind blowing threesome with me.

Also to specify I don't want either of these women to be drunk. They can be lightly buzzed, but I want them very present in the moment. I also want to have some amazing vegan carrot cake prior and after the sex followed by conversation about revolution. I want there to be naked swimming in a giant lake and I want the sexual tension building for a good 3 days before it explodes and I want it to be all of a sudden. This is a fantasy that I certainly think about and by putting it out there in cyberspace I have just dramatically increased my chances. I would also be quite happy if two women felt compelled to lie to me about being named Virgnia or being from Virginia. In general I am not into lying but I would accept it for this situation, but I still have faith that it can happen organically.

(Andy) The path to righteousness is coated with the lies of men... sometimes the days are left marinating in the filth they promote. Yet, sometimes, magic is born... save yourself from the day!

Tangents All Connect Though It is Tough to Prove

I am in Providence Rhode Island because of a buddy of mine I met in San Diego and therefore have been invited or intruded into the lives of people that I had not even known before. I left NYC and its fast pace for a few days for a slower way of life and a few less walls of defenses around people. When things slow down is when I start to reach a stillness in my mind that allows me to find what is I am truly looking for. Things are not what you are told they are merely because people say they are such. It can make you feel out of touch and the emphasis is money making much.

I found that everything connects back to the point where it starts and the road beckons and keeps me more honest and true and all that i know is temporarily forgotten. It appears that the world is rotting but it is actually rebirthing as are we and we can all breathe life into dormant souls starting with our own. I try to judge less and observe more besides people already judge themselves enough. Scream it outloud and hear the spray of whispers spread that you have lost your grip. I have never had a grip or at least one that I wanted to hold onto.

We find that we struggle and bungle like clowns that can't even graduate clown school and be a successful fool. Instead we act as a tool that we used to bring ourselves down. But we rise like the Phoenix from the ashes of our own destruction and then we begin to construct and others do the same and the merry-go-round spins on and we start to understand how everything connects. We are all part of this one thing which is the essence of life and at certain times we are reminded of this in the ways that people in our lives have already connected with each other in a previous location or phase in their life. We all come into each other lives for a reason and it can seem like random tangents, but there is an intricate design to it that I sense and see on regular basis.

We can all see this if we allow ourselves to slow down and experience it in this very moment if you just stop and connect with your breathe your mind will become still and your awareness heightened.

Would You Call My Name

The love that I was giving was never in doubt (David Gray lyrics). I am tired of women that only want to talk about leaping and don't actually want to take that plunge into mystery. Life is mystery, real actual life is made of mystery, not of some fucking formula. I can not guarantee anything accept that I will follow my heart to wherever it takes me. I want a woman that desires the same and knows that they, me, or both of us, may get hurt. That is why it is so amazing, because there is a risk while being vulnerable that makes me feel alive.

I love you. I always have loved you, and when I look at you I mean it in every gesture, and In everyway. I am not promising anything except that I will say what I feel when I feel it. I will not hold back and both you and I will be better for it. If you hear me or feel me, then do something about it. Don't just stare at me or think about me, just tell me where you want to meet and I will be there. Only by following these feelings that come out from you, can I better get to know my true self. I feel humbled in your presence and when you are completely present. Not living in a state of fear where you shut down and let nothing in or out like some sort of military zone. I can feel you scream and cry when you smile and laugh for the benefit of your audience. You never fooled me for a minute. When I look at you I go through it all and you do the same to me.

Romantics are merely people that breathe deeper and cut with their eyes in ways that make them compelling and uncomfortable to be around. I am still with you as I type and as I touch your spirit. I cry out to you and I know that you hear it, for echos thru the whole fucking world.... It has always echoed be it different names, races, faces, and places. It is always the same. The setting does not matter just the emotions that are struck. I've been seeing you even before I met you and when we kiss time stops, and there we are frozen like tongues to flagpoles and there is no one else I want to be frozen with. I am melting as I type the layers of ego and facade fade away like the emotions we hide in a world where everyone has gotten so good at suppressing what it is they want so they can have something that they could do without. I still feel sadness for the last lifetime when I left you, but I will not leave you high and dry with no shoulder to cry on. I visit you in your sleep, but you already knew that. It is too akward to say in this world of silly concepts that we live in. Well.... this world is about to fall apart in all the best ways the walls are coming down and this clown has had his whole world flipped upside down.
But only when that happens do we realize that we can never be held in place and these eyes do not see like this soul sees.

Neither of us could ever get away from each other and doing thus would be merely kidding ourselves. I am not going to kid myself, everything has already happened while most of this world was busy napping. We were chasing the dream, when only being the dream makes any sense. Merging with the dream is to merge with the divinity of infinity. "Where is my mind?", The song says, I put it on a blog so that people could read and know to some extent what I was trying to express. "Yeah they don't love you like I love you, because they don't know you like I know you." First eye shot, everything that needed to be said was said, and we both began bobbing to the music that only we could hear. I left because I had to go, but unlike last time, nothing was going to keep me from coming back to see the soul that I have known better then all I have seen. We have amazing scenes ahead, and a son named Tallaque coming. Tonight at my parents house, and your future in-laws house, I told you something that you knew deep in your heart because we both have carried it for so long.

Am I Losing My Religion ?

Recently it has appeared that I am starting a new religion. Seeing that the last religion with a nomadic jew as the figurehead became fairly popular, I feel confident in the success of Revolution for Evolution, my new religion. In fact, I already have some active apostles in place. And while I have not at this moment realized enlightenment, it can only work towards the advantage of my religion.

Being that I was born jewish and I am starting a new religion does not mean that I am no longer Jewish? Do I have to stop being a 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping Jew if I am going to start a new religion? I would say hell no!... that it is not expected for any memebers of the religion to give up their previous or current religion.

This is a religion that places no lofty expectations upon any of its members. Sometimes, I feel that people shrug responsibility when there is someone who is portrayed as perfection (Jesus) then people feel like that they don't have to make any efforts because Jesus will forgive them and take care of all their mistakes for them. My religion will empower people to be accountable for their own salvation or whatever people deem as salvation.

I want people to be able to have sex with other people without any feelings of guilt or obligation. In this case the other person is a new religion that focuses on your growth and individual empowerment. We highly encourage all people to tap into their gifts and help humanity evolve towards a more peaceful future. The revolution is truly the evolution of humanity and religion should be something to bring peace into the world not to be fought on a battlefield.

The Deal With Birthdays

I am not really sure I have ever viewed this day like other people. Some of my really good friends will have no idea that April 17th is my birthday which recently passed, but I have no desire to inform all my friends that this day is my birthday. Now, because of myspace, random people that have never met me, know when my birthday happens. Since I am traveling man I just choose to celebrate my birthday when I have access to a large space and can bring together alot of my friends and interesting characters. I will pick any day of the year and make it my birthday.

I think that people should pick a day that works in their schedule and make that day their birthday. I have heard some stories where people will dedicate a whole week or more to their birthday. Your birthday is a day that gives people an excuse to be nice to you or maybe buy you some sort of handy trincket or meal of some sort. Birthdays are a wonderful thing, but should not be held to celebrating only on the day of your inceptipon. At any moment you can be conceived and remember time is not actually linear, it is merely our mind that perceives it to be linear. Time is a way to measure the distance between two points in space and that all depends upon your vantage point.

I personally vow to consistently celebrate my birthday when I feel the mood strike and I want to celebrate this with amazing people that I have come to know when the timing is good. Plus, I don't want to hold anyone not on myspace to be responsible for remembering my birhtday. It is an extra responsibility that I do not desire to place upon anyone being that I do not desire it placed upon me. We all need to celebrate our birthdays a little more often. I think that it would certainly make our year more enjoyable and give numerous different groups an opportunity to celebrate such a wonderful occassion. Sometimes I think about celebrating a birhtday every time I switch towns which can be quite frequent. I want to give everyone a chance to celebrate my birthday with me and be just a little bit kinder.

The New Rat Pack

I am sure there are about a million people that have claimed that they and their crew are the new rat pack and please forgive me for treading on such sacred ground. But I roll with the most random mix of people from the entire spectrum. It has always been the case and they get more bizarre all the time. There are many times in which I roll solo, but every now and then I roll with a crew who always brings about the most intense insanity. One insane guy by himself is just that; one insane guy by himself, but when you add a whole bunch of people into the mix, the insane becomes somewhat of a rockstar. We have this way of walking into a room and everyone saying, "who the hell are these guys". On numerous occassions the dancing has been so over the top that free drinks are offered to my friends and I though half of them don't drink. On other occassions we're so much that we're asked to leave or to cool it down.

It is as if people have never seen other people live before. I often feel that my crew (even when not participating) helps people to have better sex. They are from the entire spectrum in fields such as investment banking, (least likely one first)fashion,music,art, dancing, public relations, film, theatre, writers, revolutionaires, street performers, couchsurfers, maniac monks, nomads, and numerous other odd types. We have come to throw the world upside down. Usually if I can even get together just two of them the effects are tremendous and we pull so many people towards us. We are a walking circus and we have a series of numerous skills to bring to the table. We are the new A-team and we are ready to sing, dance, act, and couchsurf into the world's heart. It has been a long time coming but the new rat pack is back on the scene and every scene that you could imagine especially NYC. Life is a kick in the head and my friends understand this well. So start expecting alot more kicks in the head and the good times shall be rolling.

New York Changes Faster Than a Woman's Mood

The city moves faster then any other place I have ever been to in my entire life. The amount of people that come in and out of your life is beyond bizarre. You will run into women that you have been, people you have worked with, former best friends, former enemies,in the oddest and least likely moments. But each time you see these people their roles will change as will your role. I never saw so many things coming in my NYC experience though I always had a sense that something was around the corner.

Sometimes I will think about these people a couple days before I see them or even a few seconds before we run into each other. In this city you really understand how all the wrold is a stage. People will completely change in ways you could never imagine in this city with such a rapidness that used to hate you and now they date you or vice versa. There is an energy and pulse to this city that is best found on the streets and in the parks. I find that I learn so much from this city by just wandering the streets and chilling in the parks. Of course on Rainy Days Barnes & Nobles, Borders, Whole Foods,coffee shops, museums, (which I rarely do)and numerous other options. This city has more options then any other place, but people will close themselves off to the options because they are overwhelmed by the options they already have. I just go wherever the flow pulls me and wherever my friends may bring me.

This is city made for the hedonist and the romantic and especially the romantic hedonist. It is also made for those on a spiritual quest because it is one of the best places to be tempted and to been given opportunities to easily do anything or nothing at all. I find myself in a new part of this city or one of the burroughs all the time. Constantly people here are on the verge of breaking thru and there is such an excitment around it and people can smell it on other people as if it is a cologne. And at the same time there are a bunch of people who are on the verge of self destructing and others on the verge of reconstructing and some who are feeling all three.

If you have never been to NYC don't go to times square to understand this place. Times Square is a weird parallel universe that New Yorkers only go to because their friends from out of town insist or their is a broadway show. That being said I will still end up wandering up there on occassion. Times Square changes faster then almost any other part of NYC. Times Square is some weird portal for tourists to keep them occupied so that they will not annoy the regular New Yorkers. New York also has so many countries within it and is so dense with everything that you can imagine. When the city loves you the high is amazingly euphoric, and when it does not love you it can be so harsh like a scorned lover. To me New York is always a woman and is a woman I always come back to even if I see many other women in many other places. I love this woman for all of ever changing ways and all the surprises that she has for me. She always keeps me guessing and always has new things unfolding just when I think I have had all the mind blowing syncronisities that I could have in one hour she piles on some more.

I was born here, but never felt the pull of it until I graduated college. It was a birthplace I had never really known calling me back to know the place of my birth. There are reasons I was born here, but kept away from it at the same time. I have embraced the fast changes of this city and I have become one with this place interlaced deeply in the fabric of this place even when I am away.

Everything Is Just Drifting

A couple of days ago it really occurred to me that everything around me had no real permance and that everything was not really what it seemed. I know that every guru, master or wiseman has said this, but it really hit me and actually made me slightly uncomfortable for a moment. Then I froze and allowed myself to be taken into the present moment and realize that nobody ever leaves your life. Their energetic imprint will always be there and you will be able to feel them no matter how far away they may be. It is truly one moment a mere blink of an eye and despite moments that never seem to end that are filled with an undescribable pain it fades so fast. All of this fades fast and that is why it is so important to appreciate it for what it is and to know that nothing will be as it was, only as it is. Accepting this simple fact makes life wonderful. Fighting this simple fact can make life torturous. You have to decide that you want to be at peace with yourself and everything that happens around you.

We know this to be a good way to live, but the mind will fight us on this every step of the way. Take the time and focus on improving your life and stop complaining about other people's lives. Life is something that is lived thru us and it is to be experienced not being spent on focusing on a day that may never come. We all come to this conclusion eventually. I have realized it early on and I want to positively touch as many people as possible as I drift from place to place yet still see the same face of the human race and feeling the undescriable grace that we all possess even if we neglect.

I constantly wake up in a new bed, new floor, new couch, new city, new state, new country and things are completely different around me yet none of this matters because I have a trust. I have trust that is overwhelming to most people and is something that people can see when they look at me and I see the same thing when I look at them. Where you will be now and where you will be 3 years from now after reading this and what it will mean to you at different times.

Different times we see things that previously never existed, but it was always there or maybe the timing was off people constantly feel that they were born 30, 70, or even a couple hundred years too late. We try to relive things that are already living and that never actually go away. Jazz, Jeans, and Jesus things that are somewhat timeless to me, but I am always told they are going in or out of style. We immerse ourself in one thing only to return to the things we loved as 5 year olds when we desired to be grown-ups only to realize that when you reach adulthood you lose touch with magic and all of the things that would make being an adult fun. And yet still we drift from different life fazes and social crazes and rat mazes and to some it is big haze and to others it is clear as the sun breaking at day.

I Cock a doodle doo with the best of them and kiss the night spirits of new and old times meshed in the time of now. I have come around to only return to where I started and now I truly know that despite my drifting I never parted. Somewhere I am still in foreign countries, in college as a freshmen, in highschool being akward, on a beach making love, out the street freestyle rapping, listening to amazing street musicians in the subway, wandering around the desert. All of this drifts into one never ending drift that has always been and will always be everything and nothing. Those with nothing give you everything, those with everything will give you nothing and all of this makes me think about something. And that "thing" is drifting and look forward to continue seeing all of you drifting on down the stream.

Having Sex with Turtles is alot like My Life

Yes this is maybe one of the better titles for any of my blogs thus far. Something about turtles fascinates me, but not to the point that I am sexually aroused by them, but certainly they are on my mind quite a bit. Everytime I see a turtle I get excited even more so then any attractive girl winking at me. Just the very idea of sex with turtles is much more unique then sex with pigs, dogs, horses, and sheep (Woody Allen already spoofed it quite well). When I think of it I start laughing and feeling that there is some wonderous and beautiful symbolism about sex with turtles. It would be such an akward thing to participate in, but life is an akward thing to participate in. Everyday I have some of the oddest conversations and interactions that most people could imagine. Yet, these odd interactions form the foundation of my entire life. I believe myself an absurdist in the finest sense of the word. I always tell people I spent 9 months trying to get out of my mothers womb and then last 26 years trying to get back in. But the turtle has this built in shell to protect itself from everything. Where hell is my built in shell.

I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.

I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.

Slacker Prophet Videos

Slacker Prophet's Bid for Presidency



On Professional Couch Surfing



On "Indecent" Exposure



Dead Dinosaurs and Mars



6'7" Jewish Secret Service



Services Charges

You Ain't No Jesus

I am not sure most of you have any idea what it would be like to walk around with a sign offering to heal people. (Actually I am virtually positive that you have no idea what its like). Though I certainly do get some positive responses, I feel as if people are pissed off at me because they think that I think I am Jesus and then others are pissed off at me because I am not Jesus appearantly they have a few bones to pick with him (really with his followers, but displaced anger is much easier than yelling at a man who has not walked this earth for over 2000 years). I am currently 26 years old, and if I remember correctly, Jesus did not start manifesting the big miracles until his early 30's, and that lead to him being crucified. Sometimes I wonder if that whole cruxcifixation fear, or in more convenient terms the "Fear of success," is not something that we all have. One of the most successful men in history ended up getting killed for his success, but actually he did not die and I am sure of the fact that he was a badass mystic, meaning he was probably not that concerned about the whole procedure.

I know on the surface being born Jesus--I mean jewish (I actually did that by mistake I swear to God) and a somewhat immaculate conception (no my mom was not a virgin I just think my parents are an odd pairing) and changing my name 6 years ago to a made up word Te'DeVan (that appearantly means sheepherder in the old Hatian Creole Bible). It looks on paper that there is some promise of me being a fairly notorious mystic of sorts. I figure once I go to Israel and India that should help out on the quest. Currently I am just a messiah in the making, but all of us are messiahs in the making if we just stop fighting it and give into it. The idea of giving into endless peace and joy is very appealing to me and to most people. That is probably why alot of people choose drugs, but drugs have a down side and enlightenment has much more of an upside to it. Though enlightenment takes alot of patience and letting go of things.We live in a country where Christianity is the dominant religion, and I am totally cool with that. But so few Christians are actually followers of Christ, instead they are followers of the most charismatic bigot available on their television. Somewhere people stopped actually listening to Jesus; that is the biggest problem with Christianity. If we were truly a Christian nation following the examples of Christ nobody would ever be hungry, homeless, or not given adequate medical treatment. Jesus told us that we would do miracles just as great or greater, but that always seems to be forgotten. As people yell at me from their car that I am not Jesus, I think, "what the hell does that mean?" Does this mean that I should stop trying and if you even listened to the man he said that we would do miracles greater then him, but all some guy wants to yell is that I am not Jesus. I never said that I was and you're not Dale Earnhardt so stop driving, or Bill Gates so stop making money, or Ron Jeremy so stop have sex. People have some really awful logic in regards to why other people should not pursue their dreams especially when those dreams hold a real possibility of making other peoples' lives better. If that reasoning were truly valid nobody should do anything because there is always somebody better at it and trying to do these things would somehow be an affront to those other people that came before. Therefore people believe that you are being offensive or being some sort of wannabe/poser. Though most young people today are inclined to be more like Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds, Tom Brady and Tiger Woods. I desire to be more like Jesus/Moses/Buddha/Etc.... .Truthfully Jesus won't usually even round off the top hundred people that most young people aspire to be.

I guess looking like the western european depiction of Jesus and being born into a Jewish family and having a healing gift is just a cross that I will have to bear and I am more then willing to bear it, but every now and then I am going to vent on this blog about it. Most of the time I am a man who normally remains silent and bows while being verbally accosted and having people make wild assumptions about what I am doing. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe Jesus is working through me perhaps to help you out. Nope, that would take an open mind and thinking for oneself, and the bigot on your television told you long haired hippie people talking about chi-gong (energy cultivation) should not be trusted. Do you ever think maybe that Jesus was using chi-gong or his own various form.

I am also tired of people telling me angrily that they are fine. I never asked them if they were or were not fine, but the fact that they need to so aggressively tell me that they are fine probably means they are not. A guy did this to me once and I called him out on it and an hour later he was crying to some girl about his problems.Alot of times after I do a healing on someone they may say, well my knee does not hurt anymore, but I don't know if it worked. Nobody tells their car mechanic this sort of stupid response. The engine is running fine now, but I don't know if you fixed it. Then after saying this response they will give me a whole dollar because they are not sure if it worked. People will give their doctor thousands of dollars and thank him for doing his best even if they don't get any better. People will give me alot less than 1/10 that amount and say "It feels a little better, but I don't know if it worked" (and never visit again). In just one quick one hour visit they want everything to be completely fixed and if it is only a little better then they completely discount the whole thing. Yes, it is correct that I am not Jesus and I will not wave my hand once and fix every problem in your entire life, but I can certainly help, but the shaman in the western culture gets no love. I should have been born in a different region of the country and people would certainly accept my gift without always being so condescending about it. Not everyone is such a cynic I have had more then my fair share of grateful people, but just the fact that even one person should be such an asshole is mind blowing.

Then people ask me if the healing will be permanent as if I have control over the choices that they make. If your head hurts and I make it stop hurting and you smack your head against a wall then yes it will start hurting again. For instance when I walk by with my sign offering to heal physical,emotional and mental pain they inform even though I do not approach them that they have Jesus and therefore need no help. I am all in favor of having Jesus, but I would love for the people of this country and world to understand whoever it is that they have they also have themselves and are capable of doing these incredible miracles. Stop putting one person on a pedastal and downgrading yourself in the process. Let them serve as an example not an exception. We don't have to live in the shadow of Jesus, or any guru for that matter. They want to see us recognize our God potential. Read more carefully in your place of worship and start to think of yourself as your own messiah/guru.

Sex With Turtles Is Alot Like My Life

Yes this is maybe one of the better titles for any of my blogs thus far. Something about turtles fascinates me, but not to the point that I am sexually aroused by them, but certainly they are on my mind quite a bit. Everytime I see a turtle I get excited even more so then any attractive girl winking at me. Just the very idea of sex with turtles is much more unique then sex with pigs, dogs, horses, and sheep (Woody Allen already spoofed it quite well). When I think of it I start laughing and feeling that there is some wonderous and beautiful symbolism about sex with turtles. It would be such an akward thing to participate in, but life is an akward thing to participate in. Everyday I have some of the oddest conversations and interactions that most people could imagine. Yet, these odd interactions form the foundation of my entire life. I believe myself an absurdist in the finest sense of the word. I always tell people I spent 9 months trying to get out of my mothers womb and then last 26 years trying to get back in. But the turtle has this built in shell to protect itself from everything. Where hell is my built in shell.

I am fascinated by the turtle and its beauty. It is completely neglected by some people and uttterly adored by others. I want to make turtle racing a big sport for people like myself that want to know who is the fastest amongst the slowest. I feel that I am the fastest amongst the slowest. Turtles also look they have down syndrome though appearantly turtles don't suffer from this disease. Maybe down syndrome and turtles are closely connected. Maybe one man once upon a time really did have sex with a turtle and nobody ever talks about it and it created a turtle gene which mutated and created kids with down syndrome, or maybe this is my own Just So Story (famous book series that highly recommend though never quite this perverse) . Maybe that man was a relative of mine and that is why I have a predisposition towards it (either sex with turtles or down syndrome) I merely find both of them to be fascinating things. Something about the slowness and uniqueness and contentness that both seem to possess. I never met a mean turtle or a mean kid with down syndrome.

I am not trying to make any sort of point here, other then my simply belief that sex with turtles is alot like my life. unique, slow, akward, beautiful, confusing, humorous, sometimes disturbing, and absurdly somewhat true. I was raised by turtles and then I mutated into a bizarre 6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing jew and don't let anyone myself included try and tell you anything differently.

Why Myspace is A Riot

Intially you make fun of it as some sad addiction that you will never fall prey to, but bit by bit it pulls you in. Maybe it never makes it to the point that you post for people to comment on your new pictures though in your lonliest moments it might have crossed your mind. Instant attention from a sea of people without even the slightest sort of akward rejection. I honestly have no idea how many people I have asked to be my friend. Some of them I wanted to be friends with and some I was just looking for an audience so that my bulletin board posts would reach more people. I saw people with 10,000 friends and somehow I felt that maybe I was somehow less of a person for having a mere 200 hundred friends, and recently I have gone insane and gotten a bit nostalgic. Furthermore, I reject nobody's friendship with the exception of bulletin board whores who might make me miss out on the one giant game of naked twister involving beautiful bi-sexual women who claim that they have a shortage of male participants and might cancel if one man, particularly a tall jewish man who freestyle raps and chi-g0ng heals, doesn't respond immediately (yes very unlikely, but still always possible).

But one day I believe that I will be able to use myspace for a full on revolution, and a whole nation of young people will take over the capital. That and the possibility of falling into a magical threesome with a beautiful girl named Virginia and another girl from Virginia. There are really lots of odd possibilites on myspace. Half naked girls with their legs spread that just want to be my friend. With friends like that who needs to date anymore ? and being a fairly poor nomad it is important that I have female friends like the ones found on myspace.

Myspace is also a place where I can make friends with people who I would never visit unless I was paid well or if I thought their town would survive some sort of nuclear fall-
out that was quickly approaching. But eventually myspace will fall just like friendster did before it and maybe it will be replaced by actualfriends.com when people will actually only want to have actual friends. Then people will go back out into the world and talk to strangers instead of sending each other naked pictures and sending poorly written penthouse letters back and forth. Surely there is more to life then building a larger friend list, but that which you mock most is what you inevitablely end up becoming. It is the universes or the internets silly justice. It started off innocent enough with all your friends insisting that you sign up and after enough pleas you obliged (besides secretly you wanted to and you would never let it get out of control). Before you know it you are trying to befriend the one lone survivor in a town that has been plagued by meth addiction. You are making friends with bored girls living in Nebraska, Kentucky, Hawaii and offering to fly so that you can see them. How the hell did this happen? All you wanted to do was stay in touch with your friends and do a little networking and it appears that you have gone overboard. And now you have become the person you made fun of and read forwards about. You are that fucker asking people to fill out bad surveys, pass forwards, and begging people to check out your new pictures. And yes you finally have over a thousand friends and hardly know any of them. You have started to neglect your actual friends and can't seem to pay attention to anything going around you, but deep down inside you know that you will wake up from your myspace coma and the revolution you have always envisioned will take place.

Myspace will crash just before you return to actualfriends.com and take back this country. Remember it is darkest before the light and myspace might lead to the riot revolution that you are looking for, or the one I have been looking for since I could remember.

Everywhere You Go There is Someone You Know

I must say if there is anything that makes it easier for me to travel around the country and a little bit overseas is that I always run into someone I know or someone who recognizes me from another place. This makes it alot easier to do what I do.

When you are stranger people sometimes act strange and even may stare at you suspciously until they see you enough that you become familiar. One of the funniest things is sometimes in one city somebody will never talk to me, yet in a different city we will end up talking for hours. All of sudden in a new city I become the only normal thing. Knowing people also helps you to feel like the world is not so large that it can't be navigated, but it takes time to get to this point, but it is much quicker then you think as long as you keep yourself in the moment. Sometimes people have heard about me and this reference point makes it a bit easier to establish contact.

I love to see how people are connected to each other and how people you know from 2 different countries 5 years ago end up dating each other briefly in San Diego (My Friend Laura from Michigan and Darren from Barcelona). One of the fascinating things to me is how we can go between so many differnt worlds with the characters and the stages change, but the flow of life remains the same.

Of course there are times when no one has even heard about me, but often, they have a vibe about them that reminds me of a friend or I have a vibe about me that reminds them of one of their friends. When allow ourselves to trust this instinct and follow it thru we will feel a very rewarding sense of connection and usually end up making a new friend who seems like an old one.

We all have a road to travel and adventures to be had and I promise wherever you go if you remain open there will be someone you know. Whether you actually know them or just have a vague idea of them there is always a possibility for a profound connection to be made as long as you remain open even if they intially give you a hard time remain open and they will eventually do the same as well.

We all friends, family, and doppleganglers that have yet to be met. We just merely need to extend ourselves and allow our intution to guide us and then we shall see that everywhere we go there will be someone we know.

I have A Confession To Make

I am secretly and have always been a Republican, but after hearing my friend Reverend Steve's view of the disfunctions of a Republican (None of which qualified for AYKMA) I felt akward about coming out of the closet. Yet I figured since he was a Reverend I would have his full support and he would not make any assumptions. The one main area where I truly qualify as a Republican is fiscal responsibility. Many of the remaining views I have may be seen as "liberal", but really, using fiscal responsibility as the true calling card of a Republican I can justify all of my supposed "liberal" viewpoints as any "true" Republican should agree with me if they were any good at being Republicans. Fiscal responsibility first and foremost.

Here are the issues and here is how a Fiscally Responsible Republican should view them

Gay Marriage: Completely in favor of this idea because the amount of money that will be put into the economy thru all the extra weddings that will take place. Got to figure that 2 brides would spend twice as much. Also, selling more marriage licenses would help local and state budgets. And lets face it - marriage just ain't the same as it used to be. Heck, I'm already on wife three and maybe working on four. It is more of a temporary lease than a commitment.

War In Iraq: We are spending way too much money with no end in a sight and they are on the verge of a civil war. Even if we steal most of their oil this is a bad financial move. We are bleeding uncontrollably in terms of dollars spent.

George Bush: How the hell did this GOP disaster take place. He knows nothing about money he never had to earn it and every time he messed up somebody would bail him out. I think his father for the benefit of economic stability should do the country a favor and have one of his buddies in the CIA bump him off. It would save the taxpayers a lot of money in the long run.

Gun Control: In favor of more money being given to us and selling more expensive licenses so it becomes more of an activity for my pals at the country club. Also the thousands of lives lost each year is a lot of lost labor for the economy. Furthermore, when you put the growing lawsuits towards the gun manfacturers, it is best if we clamp down before they run out of money to lobby us with.

Prayer In School: Against it until the school shows they can educate the kids. There is no time for praying until they prove that they can learn first and then we can talk about praying. Our old football coach forbid us from getting laid until we won a game during out biggest losing streak. We then started having our biggest winning streak. Lets give these people a little incentive here.

Decriminializing Pot: Very in favor of this. All the founders used to blaze plus I have been known to steal my kids pot from time to time. There is a whole boat load of money to be made here plus too much money is spent on putting people in prison. I am tired of pissing away money to lock up pot heads. Much easier to remind people to put locks on their kitchen cabinet and it is much more affordable.

Welfare: In favor of this and I used to be against it, but studies show that people who have been eating consistently throughout their lives make much better workers then people who only eat on occassion. This is a way to improve the work force and improve the quality of workers on the bench.

Nuclear Aresnal: To immediately stop and decease building. They just sit around collecting dust. I told my son once that if he did not go out and get some that I was going to cut it off. Then he got an STD and there were lots of medical bills involved. So we can't use them either because it is also too costly. They are basically worthless. Relics of a time past this money could be used towards teaching my kid to wear a condom.

Life Is Truly A Numbers Game

Every so Often I have had some guy tell me that he has seen me with alot of attractive women (and yes there is actually some truth to this statement), but if you met as many women as I do then you would also be seen with alot of attractive women. I have a great deal more free time then most people and I also have much less social phobia then the average person therefore I meet an insane amount of people and about half the population is women.Therefore, if you meet enough women some of them are bound to be attractive. It is simply a numbers game, my friends.

People tell me that I am a pseudo-celebrity. This is not because of a public relations company or massive television exposure (three shows don't really count as massive) this is because I have met alot of people and walked by even more people with my giant signs "6 foot 7 inch jew will freestyle rap for you" and "Get Healed Now Stress, Physical, and emotional pain ch'i-gong spiritual healings". If you did this you would also be some weird sort of pseudo-celebirty. I also have alot of free time because I do not have a traditional job and this is what I love to do with my free time. This is based on the mileage that I walk and hands that I shake and people that I bow to. People this is simply a numbers game as well.

People believe in my healing gift because I have most likely done a healing session on them or their friend. I have done over 15,000 healings in the last 4 and half years. If you were a healer and did that many healings people would know about your healing gift as well. Folks it is a simply numbers game as I stated earlier. The reason why I am telling you this is to encourage to keeping doing whatever is you love doing as often as possible and eventually you too will become quite well known for it. The more attempts you have the more you will be successful. If you think that most men or women do not find you desirable. Say your batting average is 1 out of a 100 then make sure you approach a hundred people or two hundred people for that matter. Approach 10,000 people and you could end up going out with a 100 people a year. That means approaching 30 people a day (I actually probably talk to at least 3 or 4 times that amount in one Manhattan day), which is much easier then you realize if really want to do it. As long as you want you keep attempting and you are very likely to get it. Keep flipping a coin enough times you are bound to see it land on tails quite often. In life there are usually many more sides to the coin, but all that means is that you should flip it more often.

In conclusion we know that everything is made up of numbers but we have an ability to forget this fact and think that if we try 3 times that we expect to get it perfect in those three attempts. The more attempts you try the better your numbers will be. In life nobody cares about your batting average they are only interested in your hits and homeruns. So keep playing those numbers my friends and watch your notoriety and overall success expand exponentially.
Be completely relentless in the amount of attempts and you will be amazed in the amount of successes. You remember your successes much more then your failures. Or at least I do when I tell people stories though certain failures can be pretty funny and just as enjoyable. Humiliation is good for the soul so don't be so mortified about getting shot down just keep playing the numbers game and watch it pay dividens