Healing In Austin Texas

Videos from the summer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQDOKty6sOI

I wonder how much random footage is out there?

Sometimes To Write Is the Last Thing I want to do

It is hard for me to conceive that in this virtual world that people are actually reading my blog or that what I am saying in some way helps them with their journey. So maybe this one is more for me. I am at Sundance right now it is my fourth and it is the sort of thing where things come back around from finding a british guy that looks alot like Smiley if got fatter and started drinking heavily again to finding a pair of sunglasses which had I been given at Sundance 5 years ago. I have run into people that I have met from all over here and just reminds me of the all amazing people that come along on the journey just as you need them and not before or after. I have also been locked on the mantra of seeking the creator not the creations. In my case that creation is almost always been women. Somehow I still have a delusion that the right one can wipe away all that pain that I can't seem to drop myself. I continue to get lighter on this journey and help turn other people on to looking inside of themselves. My next stop looks to be LA with an outside shot at Vegas, but at least my mind has no desire for Vegas. I must admit I have a bit of a biased against the place. I am realizing more and more that "success" won't ever bring me what I am looking for. I want to merge with the infinite no longer attached to this world of things but in constant bliss with another realm. I am not sad but rather more determined on my spiritual quest and focusing on bringing more of mental energy to the source called GOD. Be the change and allow myself to receive and find a peace that enlivens my soul.

Looking For Adventure I suggest Couchsurfing and Craigslist

Many people complain that they are somehow stuck in a box and it is the same thing day in and say out and yet now more then ever there is opportunity for people that are usually prudent respectable citizens who have a hard to have spontaneous adventures to have one. (Of course you could always just call me and pick me up in your car, but I am not always available for spontaneous adventures, but that is still always a possibility). So first off you might have a car and you can put an add on craigslist looking for people to join you on your adventure and you can always meet them for tea and coffee to see if you vibe. Next you go on to www.couchsurfing.com and look for available couches with people who seem interesting to you. These people have references and you get a pretty decent sense of what they will be like by carefully reading their profile. Some of you might want to start more local and perhaps you can just make a sign offering free advice or free hugs or perhaps both. All of us are capable of stepping out of our routine it just takes that first step and suddenly we find ourselves steering a very different course.

Sheep ALiens And Sex That is Taboo

Recently I was pondering how we love to make jokes about people screwing sheep and the I wonder if Aliens view us as sheep and maybe a few of them in the long ago past visited us and some of them had sex with us viewing us in much the way that we view sheep. I guess there are good Aliens bad aliens and those aliens who screw humans which is our evolutionary concept of people who screw sheep. I hope this thought makes you laugh or smile or think that maybe I have too much time free time on hand. This might very well be the case, but I just wanted to put this thought out there because I like to have a good laugh as much as the next person.

You Can't Always Be Perfect Just regain Your Balance quickly

I once read from a martial artist that he does in fact lose his balance he merely regains it quicker then most people can perceive. That is some amazing awareness. Sometimes we have to be out and about mingling and sometimes we need to be in the cave regaining our focus remembering what our greatest motivation behind our goals. I have lost balance on countless occasions and I just seem to catch myself more quickly. My mind still wanders and I am still drawn towards things that are not always the best thing for me. i notice that I do stumble less and beating yourself up over it does not make it go away. I have come very far and yet I have only begun. I am ready to bring myself back into the crowds more grounded and more prepared for whatever the world has to throw at me. OFten we need to get out of comfort zone to find out what we are capable of achieving.

I love everyone and anyone who makes strides to go inward and look at the good and bad with even mindedness has my deepest respect and thank you for being a mirror for me and everyone else you come across.

Hey You Want To Start A Revolution?!!!!!!!!!

It was the simple sentence yelled to me from a beach pier in Long Beach Island, NJ in August 2000 by a young man that I did not know named Smiley. This simple sentence has echoed in my soul and to this day is one of the greatest things that anyone has said to me when first meeting me. My response was "Hell To the Yeah!!!!". That night I was harassed by a cop who threatened to search me for drugs because I had a shirt that said "Legalize Pot". Keep in mind I have never smoked this substance, but hsve always recognized the absurdity in making it illegal. Smiley and I have since gone on numerous adventures and perhaps have almost gotten each other in small and serious trouble and have counseled each other in our Don quioxtish missions in a land where being serious is so important. Smiley and I have always been very serious about our absurdity. I think of all the people in this world right now that are just waiting for someone to come along and say "Hey You wanna start a Revolution?!!!". All of us have that revolution inside of us that is brewing and sometimes it merely takes just a little awareness and one simple action like refusing to sit on the back of the bus to light a blaze to encourage people to take the steps that we have always needed to take. Now is our time to shake ourselves to the core and this country and world will come along with that shaking. We all need a good shaking and with that habits that are holding us back can be dropped. I want to thank everyone that I have met along that is starting their own revolution driven by their heart. Che was once quoted as saying at the risk of being laughed at that waves and waves of love were the greatest revolution of all. So whoever you are sitting wherever you are may I echo this simple sentence at you. May it bounce around in your head and implore your heart to reach out in ways that you have not previously allowed yourself to do. Now is the New Year but beyond it is a new moment and we are the movie of life unfolding and each one of us has the ability to knock people on their ass with a rebel yell that sometimes is just a sound and sometimes an intense waves of silence and calm that causes an inward reflection that keeps people running on their gerbal wheels. It is not your yelling that changes the world but your stillness your quiet riot that screams louder then the loudest siren in a world where silence will trump sound. Its not the words but the deep silence between each word that are infused with a truth that can't be denied.

George Bush Cocaine and the Fugees

Some of you may have already heard and others of you might be shocked about what I am about to tell you. I hope your sitting (being that you reading my blog I would assume this to be a really safe bet). John Forte from the Fugees had his sentenced commuted by George Bush. I really have no way to explain such an event, similar to how I can't explain why people are so concerned about gay marriage. My theory is that George Bush loves his cocaine as much as the next man in Washington DC and is hoping that the Fugees can come up with a great follow-up album and John Forte brings such a balance to the group dynamic. Heck George Bush probably would have been smuggling 1.2 million worth of Cocaine if the whole pesky white house thing had not sidetracked him. He felt finding Jesus meant that he should destroy the economy and send us to unnecessary war in Afghanistan, Iraq and a few other places that they try not to mention much in your yahoo headlines (which are too busy informing you about the most important current events involving anything to do with Brittany Spears and her extended family and anyone who may have seen her driving barefoot with no underwear while belching her newest hit song "womanizer", and reliving every million dollar photo up she has when she self destructs.). Yet all of this can be forgiven because George Bush is going to save R&B be helping to get John Forte out of prison. Who knew that George Bush indeed does not hate all black people (Kayne west you were wrong how foolish you must feel now please apologize to George. All can be forgiven its all just water over New Orleans) he seems to have a special place for the ones who help to keep the White House white in that way that nasal passages have just as many holes as the levies in New Orleans.

How Do you measure Spiritual Progress

One of the biggest challenges that I notice on the spiritual journey is how to measure spiritual progress. I have been trained like so many other people to always have neat and easy ways to measure your progress yet involving the most important things in life this can be very challenging and the most significant part is being love and open to this very moment. Yet at sometimes these seem like cliches or things that other people can achieve but we seem to be struggling with not flipping out on some cop or security guard that is making our life more difficult then it need be in a world that already seems to have more obstacles for us to over come everyday. I believe it is important to let go of any incessant need especially the need to try and measure spiritual progress. More then anything it is just a inner knowing which is a difficult thing to convince your rational mind that you have made progress based on some sort of inner knowing. If you can finally let go of this incessant need to measure growth you also have to avoid allowing yourself to be complacent and always keep striving to be the most authentic and honest that you can be. I have continued to be on my spiritual journey in a conscious way for over 7 years. In that time I have felt really close and I felt really far away and I have reached quite a few false summits. Yet each one of those false summits needed to be reached in order that the highest summit can be reached. I must be compassionated yet I must also use wisdom and good discretion and know when to disregard both of these things for the heart. It is a very fine line and that is one of the reasons why there are few saints. Yet I am always reminded by more aware beings who came before me that a saint is merely a sinner that never gave up. As long as we keep striving to be the most authentic we can be the more we can feel ourselves in tune with all the little nuances that lead to a success much greater then they are showing on in the movies or on television. At what point do you have enough of the material and what point are your willing to take your fools leap.

Now is the time and this is the place but can you just sit with that and let that penetrate you deeply and stop reaching for the past or future and harness all of that incredible positive energy that wants to flow freely from your being into this world that has forgotten. May we all awaken may we all remember and may we do this when we decide that we are ready to stop suffering needlessly.

A good wingman knows when to hold and knows when to walk away and knows when to run

Tonight in Ventura I was my buddy's wingman. I saw that he had an opportunity with a young lady that he had met I also sensed that many people might have also had that opportunity but the same could be said for many men as well. At certain point he was trying to convince me to keep talking to her friend. Her friend liked me but did not like when my eyes roll up and flutter which sometimes happens when I am mediating at the bar. I know what your thinking (Yes I really meditate at the bar) but that's just how I roll so make peace with it. Anyway I don't like be told to stop doing something especially when that is natural so I ended up walking away. While he was talking to me the girl that he was making out with started making out with another guy. Then shortly after that this same girl got in a minor confrontation with another guy (who we are pretty sure that she was making out with later in the evening as we left). Yes all and all this is pretty piontless story that could be on a episode of Cheaters, but I told my buddy that I was out and wanted nothing to do with it. He then went back to make out with her some more and the other girl became distraught and was on the verge of tears because she could not find her friend and she was the only girl not making out with a guy. My friend then decided it was time to get out of there (which of course was encouraged by the fact that this other guy wanted to fight him over feeling threatened. Yet my buddy did not dig her enough to consider fighting for this girl.) which I had done about 20 minutes earlier. If your friends want to make bad choices you don't have to stick around and watch the drama. Sometimes a good wingman or wingwoman just walks away and sometimes even runs away if necessary. Some people are just make bad choices and really are addicted to the drama, but that does not mean that you have to join them for it.

The Mind always Wants to Escape

Though I have made alot of progress in taming my mind from dominating my life I still find at times that it still has a strong momentum from previous years and yearns to feel superior/inferior and many other emotions that keep me in cycles that keep me repeating the same story lines that stop me from feeling myself fully present and in the zone. Looking to the future is something that can often be a distraction from fully appreciating the present moment even if this moment holds discomfort. I had a recent moment in Dolores Park with a few of my best buddies from Stanford and I felt very appreciative to be there being present with them, but I could feel that subtle momentum of the mind trying to have me trying to chase or obtain something else. We are all these crazy bunnies always seeking carrots that either we or someone else we knows desire. Having the most carrots denotes a certain level of status yet not chasing the carrot within itself is not victory. There has to be an inner experience taking place that far surpasses anything that the outside world can offer. I am yearning to seek the creator beyond all the creations. I move from the mystical to the mechanical just like many people in the modern day western society. I often find people are always projecting that I am sitting there on a throne placing judgment upon them. Yet that does neither myself or them any benefit and I will not allow my mind to head that direction because I merely want to experience that infinite joy that we all experience at to make that experience a perpetual feeling that other people can contribute to but a feeling that nobody can take away. It is our birthright to feel a deep underlying peace at any given moment. There will be pain but we come to understand that everything will come to pass and we are just beams of light currently residing in dense matter that we call the human form. May we never become overly attached to a world that is merely full with temporary pleasures that can never give any of the highest love that we seek to experience.

Experts Aren't All that

It occurs to me that shrinks in theory should always be the happiest people on the planet being that they studied the human mind to such a great extent and therefore have the knowledge to fix all of their problems. It seems to me also that the United States should never have financial problems because we have experts that know what they are doing. We should never have any military problems because most of our military leaders graduated first in their class at West Point. That doctors should never prescribed medicine that makes people more sick then when they entered the doctor's office. In case you didn't none of what I just said is true. Experts have some value but often they impede us in attempting to go about things in new ways to yield better results and sometimes we know something that the experts don't know and may we be brave enough to go with that. I remember being young and the doctor's trying to prescribe medication for a bad cold I had and I refused very strongly to take for some instinctive reason my parents listening to the expert gave it to me and the reaction was intensely adverse. We should listen to what experts have to say but realize that there are many factors that they can't account for and sometimes the beginner has a fresh way of viewing things that allow for many amazing results.

You Me we were the Pretenders

We let it all slip away then we awoke. I woke up from a dream last night and I saw my old tai-chi-gong master. I gave him a $20 donation in my dream and he was standing fully upright. It was a small token of my thanks and then suddenly it struck me that he had passed away 3 years ago and therefore I knew none of this was taking place on this current earth realm. I immediatley snapped up from my sleep. He gave to me so greatly and freely at a point in my life where I had no concept of how amazing the gift that I was receiving. An astrologer I once saw India mentioned this significant period in my life and how it was ordained before I was born to be given such an experience. One part of me greatly believes in fate and another also believes in our free will. Somewhere this two things coincide and share the same space some how and may finite mind may never understand this, but it is not necessary for me to grasp such a thing. Last night I saw a young man named Kevin then I went to college with and could see that pain and suffering that is caused when you awaken but you do not fully allow yourself to embrace the realization in the way that you live your every day life. There is nothing here other then the love that I give and share that will cross over with me. The rest is merely smoke and mirrors. Yet I noticed that my friend Kevin had more of a humitlity and humanity that resonated from him more strongly. Once you have already begun the process of waking up you must allow yourself to see it on thru. Your options are suffering more or accepting. Either we accept or we suffer and all of us are justing passing thru all of us are just visitors and nomads with our moments and stages both large and small. The unvierse conspires in way that seem absurd at times to allow these glimpses of divinity to shine thru if we allow ourselves to see it. May I always allow myself to be see it especially when it is not pratical or convient to recognize. No more pretending just being as much as I will allow myself to be.

Remember When Stalkers Used to BE Creepy and Hard WOrking

It recently occurred to me that because of facebook/myspace that the ancient art of stalking has become something that everyone does now. No longer is it necessary to dig thru the garbage, memorize schedules,dedicate hours of your day talking to and making friends with the person you are stalking. We live in a whole new era where almost everyone on facebook, myspace, and blogs has used this to some degree as a means of stalking and it is completely socially acceptable to do this sort of thing. I have been on occasion stalked thru this means or thru my blog. I have no qualms or problems with this at all. I just think it is really funny that at one point it was considered really uncool or creepy and now everybody's doing it. Heck I would even say it is hip. You can know what someone's mood is where they are and where they are going to be. You can see who they are friends with the friends that you have in common and read their wall posts (which share more information then you could imagine). You can discover if they are single, in a relationship, and my personal favorite "in a relationship but its complicated". It is amazing how technology effects the social norms and dictates that certain behaviors that were socially deviant are now normal. I welcome anyone reading this to feel completely comfortable in knowing that once again we have become the very thing that we judge most. The only difference between stalking of yesterday and today is that it is virtually untraceable now and it takes little or no effort. Everyone has gained easy virtual portals into other people's lives.

Long Live Video It is still killing the writing star!!

Video Killed the writing star!!!!!

May I feel the suchness of it all

This time of year I find that we are all more likely to think about people that we have lost touch with and reach out to them via e-mail or phone call and sometimes it gives us an amazing chance to bury the pains that we are holding onto in our mind and body. I am waking up more and more to the simple fact that one simple moment happens and the direction of our lives can change very quickly. Sometimes perhaps we were headed in that direction all along and other times great efforts can be made to avert emotional and mental suffering. I have been blessed to meet some very incredible people on my journey who have consciously and unconsciously made me aware of things that I need to work on. I often view myself as simple man, but in actuality I still have mind clutter that I am bring more attention to it so that I can allow it to quickly pass and not placing judgment on it. I was recently spending time in the physical presence of Amma allowing me to reconnect with numerous people from different points in my journey. I know that there are many methods to making the mind still, but find Yoga in conjunction with tai-chi/chi-gong and the blessing of saints to be beautiful ways to progress on our spiritual path.

I find my mind in difficult emotional moments looking to find a external distraction so that I won't have to be present with an unpleasant emotion. I try to catch myself more quickly when I do these behaviors. Today I ran into someone at the grocery store in SF who I had seen outside of a coffee shop in Silver Lake and we started talking and when I told her my name she realized that I had hung out with her and her boyfriend in San Diego 3 years ago. I felt that she was familiar when I saw her in LA and in SF I had an opportunity to understand why she was familiar. I have always been fascinated by the web of connection and I do my little part to make people of aware of it by my own awareness of it.

THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT IS NOT CONNECTED and when we realize this things like war will eventually become outdated. May this new year bring in greater awareness and may we all take time to slow down and appreciate the simple amazing things that we take for granted. May we take this time and send blessings to people that enrich our lives currently and from the past. May we allow ourselves to fully value that amazing people that we have in our lives. After seeing Amma and even during I had the thought in my mind that everyone before me has an opportunity to show that unconditional love to all beings who we encounter.

Odd Synchronicity Brings My Awareness to the ways that we are all connected

Yesterday I celebrated thanksgiving with a girl who had first spotted me in Cambridge, Mass when we both happened to be visiting at the same time. We then saw each other at Rainbow grocery and she invited me and a few of my friends to celebrate the holidays. With her I met her friend Ashley and confessed to her my instinctual love of Kansas even though I have spent almost no time there at least in this lifetime. Well at the party they had two friends visiting from Kansas specifically Lawrenceville, Kansas which is the spot that I am most drawn to have heard the most about in this past year. She then mentioned Portland which made me think of my good friend Sokhak who passed away about 2 weeks ago in Portland when low tide became high tide and he and a friend had fallen asleep on a rock. I then mentioned my friends name and my other new friend from Israel jumped in excitement because he had spent an amazing day with Sokhak in Dolores Park, but he did not know about the news. I then let him know of Sokhak passing away which I found out from a myspace e-mail that I had received from one of his friend. I initially was confused about what had happened and if this brief two line e-mail was true. After then digging online a bit more I came to find out what had happened. Later in the same week a good friend of mine Stephon had his first son action Jackson and reminded me of this circle of life never ending or beginning. I had recently noticed the headline in Mumbai about a terrorist attack and realized at one point they had at listed at 119 dead. This number has always been significant to me. Since then the number has risen and I was reading an article and found that two members of an organization called the Synchronicity foundation out of Virginia were two of the people murdered. I then remembered a couple years ago meeting a man in NYC who was highly involved in this group. I did a healing on his friend that was quite memorable and he then gave me his card which had this organization written on his card. I do not believe it was the person who died in the attack, but it certainly made me think of him and his organization which is not something that had crossed my mind in sometime. My friend Stephon is from Kentucky, which is the state Edgar Cayce was born in, part of the reason Stephon has been really drawn to Cayce and this helped to stoke my own interest in Cayce. I am not trying to say that any of this means anything in particular other then that we are all connected and tragedies in other parts of the world that don't seem relevant can eventually make there way to the forefront of our lives in ways that we would never expect. It also amazes me how the presence of a person making one comment about a vegan spot In Portland will lead you to discovering that you and another good friend have the same friend in common. We are all interconnected and though it might be hard to follow this it is something that deserves attention. It helps to make the intangible more tangible in a way that we can understand. It inspires me to treat every person that crosses my path from the highest intention that I am capable of doing in each moment

I pity the Fool WHo Steals My SIgn

I know what your thinking really people actually steal your sign. I guess these hard times where people have lost their faith in humanity they have not lost their faith in signs. Personally I like to believe that they turn the sign into some sort of alter and pray in front of everyday in a desperate but beautiful attempt to make it back to God/SOucre/plug in your favorite word. I have no ill will towards the people not just because thats not my style but because by not having a sign from time to time and now with the short hair I have the experience or the adventure of being as about as normal as I can appear being that I am a bit tall. By the way I still think of myself as medium height. Oh yeah back to the sign I got sidetracked here these people will be haunted down dead or alive and then afterwards when nothing is accomplished I will use this an excuse to have a huge mission accomplished party.

In other news I am so over coherent one message blogs I want to be all over the place and allow you the reader to unify whatever is you want to unify. I love the comments keep them coming makes me feel that I am not alone in space. I wake up one day and sometimes I honestly forget where I am and think it might be the closet I get to actually remembering that everything that I have come to believe as certain is not really certain at all. Hey someone out there reading this I have an idea make a sign that says something that you believe or that just makes you laugh and walk around with it. I promise it will add some spice into your life. Open up to a new adventure take a chance allow yourself to maybe be rejected. SOmetimes we need to get back to Basics and sometimes we need to adapt and sometimes a combo of the two somewhere in the middle of Kansas to find out the madman make alot more sense then our world leaders and you don't have to be famous or a senator to get caught trying to solicit sex in the bathroom and on the other side of the coin we don't have to be famous or a political person to do good deeds. We don't need a press conference/photo up or a whole bunch of cameras. Imagine that you were watching your own life from the outside what do you want to see happen. Make your life more interesting then housewives of Atlanta or the OC or anywhere for that matter. We are the real world and even this is somehow part of the real world. Even this might inspire you to go hitch hiking like a 19 year old named Alec that my friend and I picked up as we drove the scenic route from SF to LA. He read somewhere that people did this sort of thing and it inspired him to do the same. He had a great heart and soul to him and every experience he had was a treasure to him. Bless you and God speed wherever you are Alec and all the Alecs on the winding roads and waterways of this world.

6 foot 7 inch freestyle rapping chi-gong healing couchsurfng jew looking to be bailed out

I have recently added addsense to my site and the idea that I could buy a meal once every other month as result of my writing makes me smile. These are challenging economic times. I recently had my sign stolen (though I did leave it outside for a few hours) and have noticed that I am spending more then I am making. I have asked my local congress person if they could add one spiritual healing freestyle rapping jew to the economic bailout plan. Since this might take some time and since the psychic did not tell me when I would be getting the book deal and the bank currently won't loan me money based on the psychics prediction and therefore I have opted to allow adds to be posted on my blog. One day I hoped to receive sponsorship similar to the banks, but unfortunately or fortunately I have not defrauded the US taxpayers of billions. In order for the US government to bail you out it appears to me that you must be completely irresponsible, wasteful and commit lots of fraud then they will take pity on you and ask for donations from US citizens in the form of "taxes". Life is funny in the way that it teaches that the truth is one of the most absurd things possible. I would really also like to see the US government bail out single moms, college students with debt, low income people in the hospital and a few others that I feel could use a break a little bit more then bankers and desperate automakers that keep most of their profits in the hands of a few.