I want an Alternative everything but lets start with Nightlife

I desire to be able to dance to 80's music and surrounded by an opportunity to drink tea and drink organic juices late at night until the early morning. I believe that the demand is there to fill a place like this in a major city in the United States. Anyone that reads my blog and is looking to make an investment may I recommend organic/alternative nightlife. It would attract spiritual people and people in recovery programs such as AA and NA it would also be very popular with people that would be curious to check it out. I have a tremendous amount of fun all day long and I love to dance and I would love to be in a cleaner space and I know that I am not the only one. If there was just one place like this anywhere in the United States it would be a wonderful thing.

In other news it appears that we maybe entering a deep recession/depression and I remember actually writing a blog about this in the last year. I am sure I was not the only person that realized this day was coming, but it has finally arrived and in the very near future we will no longer be an economic superpower. All of this war in Iraq and everywhere else has drained our treasury chest and American taxpayers. At moments like this it is very important to intensify any sort of meditative or spiritual practice and start simplifying your life. We all need food, water, and a place to stay and many other things are essential.

I had a few Frat guys threatening to physically move me for dancing on the street to the music that was playing from their frat house. I starting praying and focusing on my breathing and they were somewhat bewildered. One or two of them started yelling at me, but I stayed mostly internally focused. I continue to reach deeper within and have been realizing that if you stay completely calm it makes it very challenging for people to fight you. It stirs up a strange anxiety of sorts and they usually end up feeling very uncomfortable about their behavior.

There are things that I feel and sense that guide me on my journey and sometimes people take this as some sort of slight or offense. It is merely that I have a certain way of doing things that feels right to me and social customs are not that important to me. For instance after I do healing work most of the time I prefer not to shake hands there are of course exceptions to this, but most of the time I prefer not to shake hands. Nothing personal just something that feels strange. Of course I am usually open to hugs instead if bowing seems to impersonal.

More videos because it is easier then writing

New comedy video

NYC/Brooklyn we see each other only on a part time basis

I am currently quite content in the Bay these days I guess Oscar Wilde was right when he said something about that everyone who is said to be missing ends up in San Francisco. I keep feeling this drumming of revolution in all sorts of ways and I know that we all know this happening and for many of us it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough. Immediate gratification not fast enough well you just have to learn to accept certain things, but there is so much we can change starting with ourselves. I sometimes can feel myself looking for that distraction to take me away from taming my mind, but I know that my truest peace and ever lasting joy does not exist in what I say or do, but in how I just allow myself to be intensely present and experiencing what is before me. I don't know what 3 months from now holds for me and though I may change greatly on the surface the things that are real about me never change it merely shines thru stronger. At Burning Man I ran into a few folks that had not seen me in a while and they all noted that I seemed more grounded and a deeper calm. This is my greatest quest and opening of my heart to help me overcome a collective mind and society that always wants to place limits on the limitless.

I am looking to help reshape society to natural flow where more people get what they need not what they think they want. I am feeling a greater desire to make people starting with myself and I have been doing just that. Right now the greatest adventure exists in making your mind serve you, but it demands great self control and willingness to accept this moment.

There Is Power that comes in when we let go

Even though I have let go of a great many things I still find my mind trying to dictate my feelings and my actions in a way that will not bring me the peace that I truly believe is our natural birth right. I can also be honest with myself and reelize that I am overly self obsessed and other times I just allow it to all drop away and I am just naked and I have nothing to say and I am amazingly happy to be in that place. I have been in San Francisco since Burning Man I just got ticket back east to NYC and then will make my way to Chicago, Ann Arbor, Philly, and perhaps montreal depending on feelings that have in the moment. Certainly Ann Arbor has been strongest in my mind as of late. THat is where I first met the tai chi chi-gong master who as I learned thru the grapevine left this realm 3 years ago. I never knew how much he effected until years later. I am going to my family's Yom Kipur and bringing a friend of mine who shall keep me highly entertained. I have always noticed that women seemed really intrigued at the prospect of meeting my family. There are always these places that call to me and it is almost as if they shout to me to come on over. Occasionally on couchsurfing I get e-mailed from people around the world to come and visit them. I don't have the funds to visit all of these people. I hope to be able to travel thru Europe in the near future. I desire to expand my ability to speak more languages. I love being silent in group situations at certain times and it is fascinating how much this seems to cause some people great frustration. I recently discovered jamie Lyndel at Sasquatch and danced so hard even though it was my first time being exposed to it. I have been digging on alot of Elvis as of late and threw a huge dinner party with my old college roommate and my compadre Matt Stoltz and we had lots of laughter and people dancing and performing.

I need to continue to work at clearing out my mind so that I can more clearly see closer to an absolute truth. Unconditional love for myself and everyone else allows a peace to be experienced that uplifts everyone. Sometimes it feels like everything has been said and I want to go months without using any words unless they are foreign words which seem to hold much greater interest for me. THe more people you know in this world the more people will try and talk to you as a way of avoiding themselves. I know that I have subjected people to this at certain points in my life. Mountains are still mountains and trees are still trees.

You Can Not Please Everyone

We won't be able to make everyone happy, but we can find the things that bring us joy and share with those who desire to experience these things with us. Sometimes I can feel myself mildly wounded or hurt about people's responses to me. Yet we all are just attempting to find our true self and at certain moments we have more clarity and insight then at other moments. Yet I am always respectful of the attempt even if greater treasures are not immediately found.

Hope in Heaven and hell is your state of mind

I am transversing all different spots thru SF finding my way up and down numerous hills and I truly love these steep climbs and approaching with a fast pace that almost borders on jogging. So often phone conversations can be shortened or done without entirely. There is a gap that is being closed and opened between form and formless and moving from one to another with greater ease. SOmetimes I suffer that ache of gluttony but still it pals in comparison to my desire to be present and make my way deeper into the stillness and surrender that identity. That all troubling identity and that ego that has been beheaded so many times yet keeps coming back for me. Like el Capitan in Yosemite. in the wild there is a taming of the mind to lead to a more clear hearing of the heart. How can I feel more when my mind fears losing itself. It takes four when it used to take one. but the words cut sharper and sharper and that compassion has to expand and stopping merely looking for a way to get off on this Jersey turnpike because you can't handle the smell and you don't have the cash for the toll booth of life. Just walk and keep walking and drop the backpack just a small bag and even if you lose that then let it be. The Vice President has quickly become the president and Kennedy's ghost still haunt this nation and pop songs don't always pop and fades quickly drop and there is a point when we stop pointing and just listen to the wind. A country full of people willing to do anything to avoid intimacy with a stranger. A lonely road of Mcdonalds and truckers with bigger hearts then any of our leaders. In a land not too far away there is a much simpler life where currency is not that important if it even exists at all.

All of Those Raw Feelings And Fast to drop the Past

I can feel a brand new day and Stevie Wonder playing at Rainbow grocery in SF as I listen to a prophetic singer speak truth to me that brought me to tears while my other friend Max also became a bit misty eyed. Time stopped and great truth was shown. It is time to realize a much greater power that exists inside of my being. I have nothing to fear and nothing that I can not face. There is an immediate feeling that transcends this mundane and there is a dance that is perpetual sundance and dormant powers that exist within an unconditional that makes us aware of our wholeness. DO NO DOUBT that inner voice it is not nonsense voodoo but a perfectly timed dance. I am reaching for a higher point by creating new habits that come from a feeling in the moment.

We all have to allow ourselves to not be held back by fear. We are all hearalding a new day and we don't need to be teaming with anxiety. Lots of exercise and food that serves as medicine. I ran into a another friend of mine at power to the peaceful and he was mentioning that people coming together in large groups was a big part of astrological chart peeking in late spring. I place value on planetary alignments but we have a free will that allows us to go beyond anything.

Feel the sunflower and her subtle smell that feels your nostrils. You are the greatest force that grows as you merge with the creative force.

Back From My 5th Burning Man

Burning Man Education for 2008. It truly is a wonderous place for many different reasons for many different people. This year was my most relaxed burn ever and it felt almost like a stroll thru a park. 7 nights I slept in 7 different couches and tents around the playa. The life I live in Burning man and outside continue to blur to the point that it is hard to tell the difference with the exception that things move faster at Burning Man. I rode there with a woman who I met at Amma's in Dallas and rode back with some documentary filmmakers from Italy, Columbia and England. I met them on my last day there. We briefly wen to Lake Tahoe for my annual dip in the water and continued on San Francisco. The temple was amazingly beautiful would have loved to seen it stay around or be relocated to someone's property somewhere so that I could hang out and meditate. Things are changing quickly in this world and the internet has interesting way of allowing people to say things that they would never say out loud, but at times they do it merely to make people upset. We are so easily conditioned to respond a certain way when people say certain things. I am working on continuing to respond and not react.

Being present in this moment and receiving the guru's blessing or Darshan is my only plan in the moment. The world moves as we move and I look forward to exploring Europe and other parts of India in 2009. I have no idea where I will end up or how things will unfold, but I can feel that ever seducing pulse and I can handle the critics and just keep pushing on towards that deepest of inner realizations that was always closer at hand because it was buried deep within our hand.

I've got some bags that I need to drop off

I feel like I have spent most of my life carrying around a whole bunch of bags that I don't need looking for distractions to escape the pain not feeling this moment a good enough high. Yes I can escape temptation but its pull is so strong and for me that pull comes in the form of women and I confuse lust for love. But really I am not confused. And I know that my lust is mixed with love and sometimes I can walk away from them when I realize it, but other times I just want to completely a fully indulge because the not knowing even gets to me from time to time. I want something that is tangible even if it is merely fleeting. Despite my greater knowings I am still delusional which leads to suffering.

The Bus Has Come

I am in Burlington, Vermont and I have become a member of a group known as the bunny society. We have a 45 foot long bus and will be traveling around to music festivals and college campuses all around this nation following the flow and documenting our adventures. We will be surviving off of money we raise and t-shirts and things of that nature that we will be selling to take care of expenses as we travel along. Our bus will soon be converted to vegetable oil and turned into a giant bunny on the exterior. We desire eventually to add more buses as funds and people are added to the group. We are looking for all sorts of people with different talents to be a part of this adventure. If you are interested check us out on facebook. The Bunny Society or the Bunny Bus. "Ask not what your bunny can do for you but what you can do for your bunny". I am pretty sure John F. Kennedy would have said that if he was still alive today.

I first connected with this group at Rothbury and officially started sleeping on the bus at the Gathering of the Vibes music festival in Bridgeport, CT. We are adding musicians, mystics, merry pranksters, maniacs, mechanics, media people to document this once and a lifetime journey. This is a journey we encourage everyone to create on their own and we will be traveling around helping other groups of people to setup their own buses. I want to thank everyone for being a part of my journey and hopefully you will also be part of the Bunnies journey as well.

It All mErges here and Now

Adjusting to the present moment instead of talking about the past or dreaming about the future. Be here now and adjusting to those feelings that are coming up and the feeelings have left and maybe they won't ever return, but your natural bliss can not be given or taken by anyone. Cut your hair grow your hair and find that passion that keeps pushing you to a place where feeelings is different then what you have come to understand. Things will change very quickly and we grip tightly to so many things that we have outgrown but now is a chance to make room for the present. Take me out to the ocean and then let me find the bay and make my way to another overseas adventure. Yet the greatest adventure happens with knowing this is the moment that everything happens and this is the moment to base your life upon. Scream be silent or have a silent scream. Darting in a thousand different directions and remember Pablo Escobar was a hoax our government makes tons of money off of drugs and we suffer as people as the money is too much of temptation. There maybe aliens there maybe spirits and there maybe a huge conspiracy yet none of that actually matters. What matters is that you make peace with this moment for everything that is and strive to be alignment with the present. I love you this invisible force that allows karma to be resolved.

We All Figure it Out in Our Own Time

I am now in Boston experiencing Amma for the 3rd time this year though in a sense since she is an Avatar she can be experienced anywhere at anytime in the same way that we can experience anything anywhere at anytime so to be more accurate this is the 3rd time this year that My physical body and her physical body have been at the same place at the same time, but Avatars have no karma and therefore don't experience time in the same way that we do because we are still working through our karma.

All of this may make perfect sense or sound completely crazy or rather a partial understanding of something that is infinite. Everytime I witness Amma I become more aware of how special she and every other person is if they allow their true essence to poke through their shell. People ask the same questions and I am usually giving different anwsers. A woman that I met here today told me I should be on the "Today Show" and I have heard at least one or other person mention such a prediction to me. All of us are coming together to create a country of peace. Yet we have to be individuals of peace first before we can be a nation of peace.

Rothbury was an amazing experience and I am certainly a big fan of the enchanted forest and the cleanliness of the event and the avaiablity of cheap organic produce. They raised the bar on what we should expect from a music festival. I craigslisted a ride from Chicago to NYC with 4 people known of whom knew each other. Two of them were going at it a bit and started channeling a sound that sounds very similar to those Tibetan bowls that have been enjoying increaseing popularity from what I can gauge. After doing this everyone in the car would become silent for sometime and then I would open up the window to allow the energy to disperse. No one made any comment about it, but it always internally understood. Sounds can say alot more then words and silence can say the most sometimes, but sometimes you just have to let it all out and any sort of harmonic sound has always been of great assitance to me.

I want to thank everyone out there who continues to explore inwardly to find your own truth and understanding and people who put in the effort to show compassion and patience especially when we might feel otherwise.

How Do you Write about silence

Often one of the most challenging missions in my life is talking about silence to people who would not resist the silence that they desire to explore. No amount of talking is going to enable me to relay this message. The words can point at it but there comes a point where the talking must cease and the being must take over. 20 seconds of silence and most people are convinced that I am either mute or will never talk again instead of accepting a 20 second period of silence. Om OM OM or as we know in the west Amen.

I remember When

I am in Chicago and I have been here a few times before and each time I here I find myself in different circumstances with a different cast of characters. I often wonder how I end up in the places that I find myself in connecting with people from my past who become part of my present and my easily forseeable future and all that it entails. I am often chasing my own tail in attempt to make it back to the place of no judgment and no pride to cause me to dishonor that which is sacred. I have often been bold to a point that I find myself being reactionary and creating more problems. More often I can catch myself from falling into the vibration. Each little thing that we do has some sort of impact we just can't always understand what it means nor should we try to place meaning on things. Everything has its place I am walking a fine line between having a mission and being completely absurd. I can't expect nor should anyone expect people to live as we live. We all have to find our own way our own inner liberation. I can't give anyone something that they already have. I can merely point it out to them if they are willing to pay attention and bring the mind to a deep silence. I am guided by heart and on occasion caught in the maze of a mind that can never be satisfied. My freedom happens when I surrender to what is and stop chasing what will never be yet knowing things can change if am willing to change. Being that Change in a perpetual state of transition and realizing that I am not any of the waves. Thank you for being a part of my journey no matter how brief.

When those Wave of Emotions Hit

Sometimes I will be sitting somewhere listening to music, watching a movie, hear certain news, getting ready to depart, sitting in the presence of a very spiritual being, reminded of a moment from the past. It will be a current a waterfall and just overtake me to a point that I almost experience a mini-panic attack. I am not even sure where they come from, but they are so strong and in the midst of them I feel as I might never stop feeling that emotional. On some level they truly scare me and make me want to contact thousands of my friends and ex-girlfriends and people that I have met in passing and somehow sit them all down at once and simply say that I love them and I am sorry for an unnecessary hurt that they I may have caused them in a world that displays too much cruelty. I wish people were not over sensitive and then I find myself being that same exact way. I am not truly sure what "over" sensitive means. In a world where most people have gone numb to feel your emotions at all will make a vast majority of people uncomfortable. When I have this experience I wonder for a brief moment if this feeling does not dissipate I will not be able to function in this world. Yet not functioning in a disfunctional world seems like an amazing blessing. Tonight the movie Juno was my trigger just in case you were wondering. I thought about what would happen to the child and about my non-existent child and the thought of that happening to me at an earlier point in my life and how that would have effected me...

I continue to explore the depths of my emotions and to embrace the passion that runs through my being and to bask in the bliss that is now when it comes over. To allow healing to flow thru my being. To be okay about making mistakes so that I am not paralyzed into not being able to make a choice. You can always pick the ball back up if you fumble it. I will attempt to make the highest choice that I can make for myself at any given moment. I will be seeing Amma the hugging Saint on Sunday in Dallas, Texas with a friend named Brian who I got to know very well on a truck ride back from Bonnaroo. At the same festival I ran into a girl who had given me a ride back to Connecticut last year. She had quit her job and was substance free and wanted some tips on being a nomad.

For anyone asking me tips on being a nomad or being domesticated I will simply tell you make the mind as silent as possible and listen to your heart it feels much differetn then your ego. Trust me on this much. Choose out of bravery courage not out of fear or of lack. Be patient and trust when you have no rational reason to merely your inner knowing. Often I rely on rides from complete strangers that I have never met from the internet and hope that they follow thru on what they told me. One time it did not work out, but that was merely a miscommunication and worked out better as a result. Let life tell you what it has in store for you as you learn to listen as we collectively remember how to listen once again.

That Road and A strangers Car/truck

I figure that I have hopped in well over 75 different strangers cars/trucks in the last 7 years of being a nomad. Each one offered me some sort of glimpse into myself and the world in general. Most were met on craigslist and a few of them I met on the spot just as I needed to get somewhere. In one extreme case in Chicago I hitchhiked a plane ride from the now defunct miggs airport. At each moment these people have played a role in my life and in many cases we had hardly spoke until I got in their car. Some of them have become good friends and others were people I connected with in passing. In one case I got a ride from San Diego to Austin as the man completely emotionally and mentally unraveled in front of me stilling reeling from his wife leaving him, a gambling problem, and a large amount of coffee, cigarettes, etc... Yet I was not upset or bothered by his emotional instability merely another experience to have on this long unfolding journey. They have taught you to fear strangers and yet some of these strangers have become some of my best friends all because I just went with my feeling and trusted that would show-up at the agreed upon time. Many of these people have given great stories of laughter and sadness. I act as an observer and witness to this American experience getting to Know myself and our country.

A Small Introduction of Sorts To Couchsurfing and My life

Being a Nomad people ask if I get lonely and from time to time I certainly I have that experience, but even if I stayed in one place and never left I would still have that acute feeling of lonliness. People ask me where I am from and merely tell them I am nomad or that I am from the same place as they are or just make a sound that explains better then any words could express. My life is about perfecting living in the present moment and accepting the things I can't change and changing the things that I can. Currently I find myself in Austin, Texas using an internet site called "www.couchsurfing.com" which strangers open up their couch/floor/extra room/backyard/ or whatever it maybe to travelers such as myself. I joined the site 4 yesrs ago at its infancy with merely a few thousand people spread around the world and now it is well over 600,000 members. People have profile which include references and the friends that they have from all walks of life.

It certainly is different then the old fashion way of going to the bar and staying late and seeing where you end up. People have a tendency to be more open after having a few drinks to having spiritual healers/freestyle rappers sleep on their couch. On one occasion in a college dorm I had the girls google me as a way of showing my references. Somehow being a psuedo-celebrity makes couchsurfing a little easier and occasion I receive e-mails from people that I have met only in passing or never met at all offering me a place to stay if I ever make to such and such place. Tonight I was thinking of all the places I have been and the people I have met.


Everyone hss a different view of me and none of it is usually accurate somewhere in between exists a truth and usually one that almost nobody can fully accept in the same way we can't seem to accept many things. There are always unseen forces in life, but some of us are more aware of them then others. I recommend getting over your fear of strangers and getting on craigslist and grabbing a rideshare. Meet up with them for coffee or tea and vibe things from there. Trust your gut feeling and continue to hone it and one day the only thing that you can count on is that feeling. I am on quest to awaken to the greatest peace that exists inside of my core the same peace that exists inside of your core. I've had many ambitions, but this is the only one that I have ever had that warrants my full attention.

Thinking in A Brand New Way

I find that I am not trying to do so much and because of that very simple fact I find that more things keep happening around me. So often we work so hard to work against the very thing that we are trying to accomplish. As we slow down we can better see the entire picture and therefore are able to make choices towards a happier that we are all entitled to live if we give ourselves permission to be happy. I am more interested in my own inner experience then I am interested in the idea of beliefs. I can feel changes taking place inside of me that are bring me closer to my higher self. Our country is conditioned to live in a state of fear that there will not be enough and that we all need to compete and fight and then we miss out on all of life's simple pleasures. The government is breaking down and is corroding as we the people need to take the reigns of our destiny. This goes beyond voting this is us not tolerating the abuse of power. We have to elect in entire new brand of politician that we as people find on our quest for peace. The old model can not sustain itself and the bubble has to burst as we have taught the rest of the world the sickness of rampant consumerism that will make this planet incapable of sustaining healthy life. We still have many of our most influential leaders denying global warming and pretending that we are making headway in Iraq only to lose our supposed success a month later.

We keep going about things in the same way expecting a new a wonderful result. Now is the time to create sustainable forms of living and cutting through the red tape with common sense instead of being enslaved by this red tape that is only removed for the benefit of wealthy corporations. We have a spiritual wealth of happiness that we are all entitled to experience.

I Am Now Back Blogging

The road was filled with so many turns and that desire to express what has been taken place and slipped away for a while, but not is veering its head out again. I am still running for president and will not be shutting down or giving a concession speech anytime soon. Hilary raised hundreds of millions and I have merely raised hundreds and I am still in this race, but for me it is more a stroll. Turtle express style I am now in Austin staying with someone named Cheney. Remember for every bad Cheney there has to be a good one. I am not focused on any particular projects merely the present moment. The focus of the campaign is about ending the war on drugs which is a war on our own people that according to Rolling Stone has cost us 500 billion with no net positive results. In fact we have spent that money only to hurt our own citizens. The only effective way to handle the drug problem is through treatment centers which are grossly underfunded because even Presidents such as Bill Clinton did not want to look weak on crime. Yet the strategy for the war on drugs has failed just like the war in Iraq is failing. We are using the same broken model over and over again. 2/3 of this country is not engaged in the political process and that will soon change.

Music festivals offer an opportunity to connect with many people around the country searching for new ways to shape the policy of our country. As a people we need some to reflect and a willingness to change otherwise many more of us will suffer needlessly. I am not saying anything you don't know merely hoping to prod a innate desire to go within your own being and touch a greater peace to share with a nation which seems to be in a spiritual drought. People are running in so many different directions anywhere as long as they don't have to be in the here and now. I thank anyone and everyone who has made some effort to let go of the suffering so that can help others do the same.