It All Moves So Fast How Can I Possiblely Document

I need a camera crew to follow me around about half the time. No not all the time because I would still like some sort of illusion of alone time. OF course when you ususally surf the couch alone time mainly takes place wandering the streets really late or early in the morning. Sometimes I feel that people really want a revolution but usually I feel most people want the iphone a plasma television and to have sex with their favorite celebrity or any celebrity. Our culture looks at celebrities as prophets and maybe some of them are but they need to get out of rehab first. I used to write funny things and then I got really vague and general at least I speculate that is what happened. I was given second hand psychic information that I am getting a book deal. In fact I was thinking I should have a party celebrating what the psychic. He has a good track record. I went to a really long yoga session today. I observed my ego being annoyed that they gave us ruffle potatoe chips I prefer Kettle chips or something on the organic tip. My family is the greatest sitcom that will hopefully being coming to a television set near you. I am going to Philly and I am really excited and being presented with an opportunity to really evolve as a spirit. We are all shifting into different vibrations and friends become lovers and lovers become friends and life's karma never ends until the ego stops and we no longer pretend. I used to date beautiful train wrecks and then I improved and started dating recovering beautiful train wrecks. But maybe that is merely the story of humanity at this point in history. I recently met a man that hardly eats at all and believes in the power of sun gazing and starring at it directly with your eyes for brief periods of time. We don't have time, but we do have now and yes between you me and anyone who reads this "sex with turtles makes me happy". Truthfully it is just the idea of it. I love Jenny Lewis actually I just love the idea of saying that I love Jenny Lewis, but man that song "Portions for foxes". Bring back the focus and screw all the economic hocus pocus.

A little bit deeper and A whole Lot Sweeter

Afer I write up a blog I have almost no memory of what I wrote and I am shocked when somebody sends the comment back to me in a response and it reminds me that at certain moments I am channeling something beyond then what I have been taught. As each one of us becomes aware of our individual power and unique skills then it makes easier for the next person to do the same thing. Each one of us is capable of reaching new heights that will allow us to see from a higher vantage point with greater clarity.

It is the lack of clarity caused by fear that prevents from having the life that we desire. I have a general feeling that my life will be a long one, but I am more focused on cultivating unconditional love and acceptance and blending gentleness and firmness. Just because you are smart does not mean that you should be cold hearted and just because you are open hearted does not mean that you have to be foolish. I am always fine tuning my balancing and bringing greater awareness to the situation and allowing myself to see things from another persons perspective even if that way of seeing things seems crazy or irrational. Don't expect sane argument to work on an insane person. That makes you a crazy person. Allow yourself to understand how people operate and focus on your individual integrity if you want to feel true to yourself.

Everyone will have something to say about what you did or are doing at any moment. Allow yourself to take actions that feel good in your heart. The deeper I dig the more a find an amazing sweetness of peace that causes me to be desiring less. Yes, I still have desires but their pull on me is weaker and as it weakens it allows me to be more fully present in this moment. THis moment is the dance this moment is a time to form Kevin Bacon's army. We all need to get a little bit footloose. Meaning moving from that place that goes far beyond the mind. I was dancing on the street in the East village and I got called into a resturant bar by a short older Indian man and everyone started to dance. Each one of us is capable of being a catylst for a dance revolution. The spontaneous of life is something that too many of us deny. I am freeing my mind by deepening my breathe.

Special thanks to everyone who responded to my blog from Boston to Bama we are people desiring to better know our true self. For me Autobigraphy of a Yogi has been of great significance.

Revolution is the evolution of humanity and evolution is the manifestation of love.

Tell Me about Your Life

According something that racks up numbers there are people out there and who knows where that read this blog and I am told so by some tracking system it even tells me from where people are from and how long they were on thsi website, but it doesn't tell me anything else. I would love to just hear a few simple things about you whoever you are and what makes you tick and how and why you check out my site. I have crossed paths with so many different people and try to generally not allow myself to fall into a rut and I am always looking to break habits that no longer serve me.

Where am I exactly and where do we allow our minds to drift off to and at our core we are all the same and yet specially unique, but we all dealing with trying to figure how we fit into this life and what is our purpose on this planet. Some people are told their purpose and might very rarely question such a thing and take it at face value. The troublemakers are the ones who think for themselves, but this is not an easy thing to do. Rampant consumerism that takes place here and many other places doensn't happen because people are thinking for themselves. Most things in moderation is a phrase that I hear quite often, but moderation is something we hear about, but mostly everyone is overly indulgent or extremely rigid and never give themselves any opportunity to indulge in the smallest ways. I do not believe that moderation is a myth, but it rarely happens in this day an age and is to be applauded whenever we witness such a beautiful act of simplicty. The greatest lives are made of beautiful acts of simplicty and perhaps just telling me a few small things about yourself would be amazing. I want to know that you are alive and out there and if you don't want people reading it you can e-mail at tedevanthehealer@yahoo.com.

Many different roads but if we follow our heart it will lead us to the same destination. We all take missteps but we always have an opportunity to go a different way. I am learning to listen to the guidance that I receive in the silence. Now is a time to look wihtin yourself and you will find greater and greater results thru this inner search. We have the ability to transcend what the world appears to be. May our peace spreaad to all corners of this world and beyond.

I want an Alternative everything but lets start with Nightlife

I desire to be able to dance to 80's music and surrounded by an opportunity to drink tea and drink organic juices late at night until the early morning. I believe that the demand is there to fill a place like this in a major city in the United States. Anyone that reads my blog and is looking to make an investment may I recommend organic/alternative nightlife. It would attract spiritual people and people in recovery programs such as AA and NA it would also be very popular with people that would be curious to check it out. I have a tremendous amount of fun all day long and I love to dance and I would love to be in a cleaner space and I know that I am not the only one. If there was just one place like this anywhere in the United States it would be a wonderful thing.

In other news it appears that we maybe entering a deep recession/depression and I remember actually writing a blog about this in the last year. I am sure I was not the only person that realized this day was coming, but it has finally arrived and in the very near future we will no longer be an economic superpower. All of this war in Iraq and everywhere else has drained our treasury chest and American taxpayers. At moments like this it is very important to intensify any sort of meditative or spiritual practice and start simplifying your life. We all need food, water, and a place to stay and many other things are essential.

I had a few Frat guys threatening to physically move me for dancing on the street to the music that was playing from their frat house. I starting praying and focusing on my breathing and they were somewhat bewildered. One or two of them started yelling at me, but I stayed mostly internally focused. I continue to reach deeper within and have been realizing that if you stay completely calm it makes it very challenging for people to fight you. It stirs up a strange anxiety of sorts and they usually end up feeling very uncomfortable about their behavior.

There are things that I feel and sense that guide me on my journey and sometimes people take this as some sort of slight or offense. It is merely that I have a certain way of doing things that feels right to me and social customs are not that important to me. For instance after I do healing work most of the time I prefer not to shake hands there are of course exceptions to this, but most of the time I prefer not to shake hands. Nothing personal just something that feels strange. Of course I am usually open to hugs instead if bowing seems to impersonal.

More videos because it is easier then writing

New comedy video

NYC/Brooklyn we see each other only on a part time basis

I am currently quite content in the Bay these days I guess Oscar Wilde was right when he said something about that everyone who is said to be missing ends up in San Francisco. I keep feeling this drumming of revolution in all sorts of ways and I know that we all know this happening and for many of us it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough. Immediate gratification not fast enough well you just have to learn to accept certain things, but there is so much we can change starting with ourselves. I sometimes can feel myself looking for that distraction to take me away from taming my mind, but I know that my truest peace and ever lasting joy does not exist in what I say or do, but in how I just allow myself to be intensely present and experiencing what is before me. I don't know what 3 months from now holds for me and though I may change greatly on the surface the things that are real about me never change it merely shines thru stronger. At Burning Man I ran into a few folks that had not seen me in a while and they all noted that I seemed more grounded and a deeper calm. This is my greatest quest and opening of my heart to help me overcome a collective mind and society that always wants to place limits on the limitless.

I am looking to help reshape society to natural flow where more people get what they need not what they think they want. I am feeling a greater desire to make people starting with myself and I have been doing just that. Right now the greatest adventure exists in making your mind serve you, but it demands great self control and willingness to accept this moment.

There Is Power that comes in when we let go

Even though I have let go of a great many things I still find my mind trying to dictate my feelings and my actions in a way that will not bring me the peace that I truly believe is our natural birth right. I can also be honest with myself and reelize that I am overly self obsessed and other times I just allow it to all drop away and I am just naked and I have nothing to say and I am amazingly happy to be in that place. I have been in San Francisco since Burning Man I just got ticket back east to NYC and then will make my way to Chicago, Ann Arbor, Philly, and perhaps montreal depending on feelings that have in the moment. Certainly Ann Arbor has been strongest in my mind as of late. THat is where I first met the tai chi chi-gong master who as I learned thru the grapevine left this realm 3 years ago. I never knew how much he effected until years later. I am going to my family's Yom Kipur and bringing a friend of mine who shall keep me highly entertained. I have always noticed that women seemed really intrigued at the prospect of meeting my family. There are always these places that call to me and it is almost as if they shout to me to come on over. Occasionally on couchsurfing I get e-mailed from people around the world to come and visit them. I don't have the funds to visit all of these people. I hope to be able to travel thru Europe in the near future. I desire to expand my ability to speak more languages. I love being silent in group situations at certain times and it is fascinating how much this seems to cause some people great frustration. I recently discovered jamie Lyndel at Sasquatch and danced so hard even though it was my first time being exposed to it. I have been digging on alot of Elvis as of late and threw a huge dinner party with my old college roommate and my compadre Matt Stoltz and we had lots of laughter and people dancing and performing.

I need to continue to work at clearing out my mind so that I can more clearly see closer to an absolute truth. Unconditional love for myself and everyone else allows a peace to be experienced that uplifts everyone. Sometimes it feels like everything has been said and I want to go months without using any words unless they are foreign words which seem to hold much greater interest for me. THe more people you know in this world the more people will try and talk to you as a way of avoiding themselves. I know that I have subjected people to this at certain points in my life. Mountains are still mountains and trees are still trees.

You Can Not Please Everyone

We won't be able to make everyone happy, but we can find the things that bring us joy and share with those who desire to experience these things with us. Sometimes I can feel myself mildly wounded or hurt about people's responses to me. Yet we all are just attempting to find our true self and at certain moments we have more clarity and insight then at other moments. Yet I am always respectful of the attempt even if greater treasures are not immediately found.

Hope in Heaven and hell is your state of mind

I am transversing all different spots thru SF finding my way up and down numerous hills and I truly love these steep climbs and approaching with a fast pace that almost borders on jogging. So often phone conversations can be shortened or done without entirely. There is a gap that is being closed and opened between form and formless and moving from one to another with greater ease. SOmetimes I suffer that ache of gluttony but still it pals in comparison to my desire to be present and make my way deeper into the stillness and surrender that identity. That all troubling identity and that ego that has been beheaded so many times yet keeps coming back for me. Like el Capitan in Yosemite. in the wild there is a taming of the mind to lead to a more clear hearing of the heart. How can I feel more when my mind fears losing itself. It takes four when it used to take one. but the words cut sharper and sharper and that compassion has to expand and stopping merely looking for a way to get off on this Jersey turnpike because you can't handle the smell and you don't have the cash for the toll booth of life. Just walk and keep walking and drop the backpack just a small bag and even if you lose that then let it be. The Vice President has quickly become the president and Kennedy's ghost still haunt this nation and pop songs don't always pop and fades quickly drop and there is a point when we stop pointing and just listen to the wind. A country full of people willing to do anything to avoid intimacy with a stranger. A lonely road of Mcdonalds and truckers with bigger hearts then any of our leaders. In a land not too far away there is a much simpler life where currency is not that important if it even exists at all.

All of Those Raw Feelings And Fast to drop the Past

I can feel a brand new day and Stevie Wonder playing at Rainbow grocery in SF as I listen to a prophetic singer speak truth to me that brought me to tears while my other friend Max also became a bit misty eyed. Time stopped and great truth was shown. It is time to realize a much greater power that exists inside of my being. I have nothing to fear and nothing that I can not face. There is an immediate feeling that transcends this mundane and there is a dance that is perpetual sundance and dormant powers that exist within an unconditional that makes us aware of our wholeness. DO NO DOUBT that inner voice it is not nonsense voodoo but a perfectly timed dance. I am reaching for a higher point by creating new habits that come from a feeling in the moment.

We all have to allow ourselves to not be held back by fear. We are all hearalding a new day and we don't need to be teaming with anxiety. Lots of exercise and food that serves as medicine. I ran into a another friend of mine at power to the peaceful and he was mentioning that people coming together in large groups was a big part of astrological chart peeking in late spring. I place value on planetary alignments but we have a free will that allows us to go beyond anything.

Feel the sunflower and her subtle smell that feels your nostrils. You are the greatest force that grows as you merge with the creative force.

Back From My 5th Burning Man

Burning Man Education for 2008. It truly is a wonderous place for many different reasons for many different people. This year was my most relaxed burn ever and it felt almost like a stroll thru a park. 7 nights I slept in 7 different couches and tents around the playa. The life I live in Burning man and outside continue to blur to the point that it is hard to tell the difference with the exception that things move faster at Burning Man. I rode there with a woman who I met at Amma's in Dallas and rode back with some documentary filmmakers from Italy, Columbia and England. I met them on my last day there. We briefly wen to Lake Tahoe for my annual dip in the water and continued on San Francisco. The temple was amazingly beautiful would have loved to seen it stay around or be relocated to someone's property somewhere so that I could hang out and meditate. Things are changing quickly in this world and the internet has interesting way of allowing people to say things that they would never say out loud, but at times they do it merely to make people upset. We are so easily conditioned to respond a certain way when people say certain things. I am working on continuing to respond and not react.

Being present in this moment and receiving the guru's blessing or Darshan is my only plan in the moment. The world moves as we move and I look forward to exploring Europe and other parts of India in 2009. I have no idea where I will end up or how things will unfold, but I can feel that ever seducing pulse and I can handle the critics and just keep pushing on towards that deepest of inner realizations that was always closer at hand because it was buried deep within our hand.

I've got some bags that I need to drop off

I feel like I have spent most of my life carrying around a whole bunch of bags that I don't need looking for distractions to escape the pain not feeling this moment a good enough high. Yes I can escape temptation but its pull is so strong and for me that pull comes in the form of women and I confuse lust for love. But really I am not confused. And I know that my lust is mixed with love and sometimes I can walk away from them when I realize it, but other times I just want to completely a fully indulge because the not knowing even gets to me from time to time. I want something that is tangible even if it is merely fleeting. Despite my greater knowings I am still delusional which leads to suffering.

The Bus Has Come

I am in Burlington, Vermont and I have become a member of a group known as the bunny society. We have a 45 foot long bus and will be traveling around to music festivals and college campuses all around this nation following the flow and documenting our adventures. We will be surviving off of money we raise and t-shirts and things of that nature that we will be selling to take care of expenses as we travel along. Our bus will soon be converted to vegetable oil and turned into a giant bunny on the exterior. We desire eventually to add more buses as funds and people are added to the group. We are looking for all sorts of people with different talents to be a part of this adventure. If you are interested check us out on facebook. The Bunny Society or the Bunny Bus. "Ask not what your bunny can do for you but what you can do for your bunny". I am pretty sure John F. Kennedy would have said that if he was still alive today.

I first connected with this group at Rothbury and officially started sleeping on the bus at the Gathering of the Vibes music festival in Bridgeport, CT. We are adding musicians, mystics, merry pranksters, maniacs, mechanics, media people to document this once and a lifetime journey. This is a journey we encourage everyone to create on their own and we will be traveling around helping other groups of people to setup their own buses. I want to thank everyone for being a part of my journey and hopefully you will also be part of the Bunnies journey as well.

It All mErges here and Now

Adjusting to the present moment instead of talking about the past or dreaming about the future. Be here now and adjusting to those feelings that are coming up and the feeelings have left and maybe they won't ever return, but your natural bliss can not be given or taken by anyone. Cut your hair grow your hair and find that passion that keeps pushing you to a place where feeelings is different then what you have come to understand. Things will change very quickly and we grip tightly to so many things that we have outgrown but now is a chance to make room for the present. Take me out to the ocean and then let me find the bay and make my way to another overseas adventure. Yet the greatest adventure happens with knowing this is the moment that everything happens and this is the moment to base your life upon. Scream be silent or have a silent scream. Darting in a thousand different directions and remember Pablo Escobar was a hoax our government makes tons of money off of drugs and we suffer as people as the money is too much of temptation. There maybe aliens there maybe spirits and there maybe a huge conspiracy yet none of that actually matters. What matters is that you make peace with this moment for everything that is and strive to be alignment with the present. I love you this invisible force that allows karma to be resolved.

We All Figure it Out in Our Own Time

I am now in Boston experiencing Amma for the 3rd time this year though in a sense since she is an Avatar she can be experienced anywhere at anytime in the same way that we can experience anything anywhere at anytime so to be more accurate this is the 3rd time this year that My physical body and her physical body have been at the same place at the same time, but Avatars have no karma and therefore don't experience time in the same way that we do because we are still working through our karma.

All of this may make perfect sense or sound completely crazy or rather a partial understanding of something that is infinite. Everytime I witness Amma I become more aware of how special she and every other person is if they allow their true essence to poke through their shell. People ask the same questions and I am usually giving different anwsers. A woman that I met here today told me I should be on the "Today Show" and I have heard at least one or other person mention such a prediction to me. All of us are coming together to create a country of peace. Yet we have to be individuals of peace first before we can be a nation of peace.

Rothbury was an amazing experience and I am certainly a big fan of the enchanted forest and the cleanliness of the event and the avaiablity of cheap organic produce. They raised the bar on what we should expect from a music festival. I craigslisted a ride from Chicago to NYC with 4 people known of whom knew each other. Two of them were going at it a bit and started channeling a sound that sounds very similar to those Tibetan bowls that have been enjoying increaseing popularity from what I can gauge. After doing this everyone in the car would become silent for sometime and then I would open up the window to allow the energy to disperse. No one made any comment about it, but it always internally understood. Sounds can say alot more then words and silence can say the most sometimes, but sometimes you just have to let it all out and any sort of harmonic sound has always been of great assitance to me.

I want to thank everyone out there who continues to explore inwardly to find your own truth and understanding and people who put in the effort to show compassion and patience especially when we might feel otherwise.

How Do you Write about silence

Often one of the most challenging missions in my life is talking about silence to people who would not resist the silence that they desire to explore. No amount of talking is going to enable me to relay this message. The words can point at it but there comes a point where the talking must cease and the being must take over. 20 seconds of silence and most people are convinced that I am either mute or will never talk again instead of accepting a 20 second period of silence. Om OM OM or as we know in the west Amen.

I remember When

I am in Chicago and I have been here a few times before and each time I here I find myself in different circumstances with a different cast of characters. I often wonder how I end up in the places that I find myself in connecting with people from my past who become part of my present and my easily forseeable future and all that it entails. I am often chasing my own tail in attempt to make it back to the place of no judgment and no pride to cause me to dishonor that which is sacred. I have often been bold to a point that I find myself being reactionary and creating more problems. More often I can catch myself from falling into the vibration. Each little thing that we do has some sort of impact we just can't always understand what it means nor should we try to place meaning on things. Everything has its place I am walking a fine line between having a mission and being completely absurd. I can't expect nor should anyone expect people to live as we live. We all have to find our own way our own inner liberation. I can't give anyone something that they already have. I can merely point it out to them if they are willing to pay attention and bring the mind to a deep silence. I am guided by heart and on occasion caught in the maze of a mind that can never be satisfied. My freedom happens when I surrender to what is and stop chasing what will never be yet knowing things can change if am willing to change. Being that Change in a perpetual state of transition and realizing that I am not any of the waves. Thank you for being a part of my journey no matter how brief.

When those Wave of Emotions Hit

Sometimes I will be sitting somewhere listening to music, watching a movie, hear certain news, getting ready to depart, sitting in the presence of a very spiritual being, reminded of a moment from the past. It will be a current a waterfall and just overtake me to a point that I almost experience a mini-panic attack. I am not even sure where they come from, but they are so strong and in the midst of them I feel as I might never stop feeling that emotional. On some level they truly scare me and make me want to contact thousands of my friends and ex-girlfriends and people that I have met in passing and somehow sit them all down at once and simply say that I love them and I am sorry for an unnecessary hurt that they I may have caused them in a world that displays too much cruelty. I wish people were not over sensitive and then I find myself being that same exact way. I am not truly sure what "over" sensitive means. In a world where most people have gone numb to feel your emotions at all will make a vast majority of people uncomfortable. When I have this experience I wonder for a brief moment if this feeling does not dissipate I will not be able to function in this world. Yet not functioning in a disfunctional world seems like an amazing blessing. Tonight the movie Juno was my trigger just in case you were wondering. I thought about what would happen to the child and about my non-existent child and the thought of that happening to me at an earlier point in my life and how that would have effected me...

I continue to explore the depths of my emotions and to embrace the passion that runs through my being and to bask in the bliss that is now when it comes over. To allow healing to flow thru my being. To be okay about making mistakes so that I am not paralyzed into not being able to make a choice. You can always pick the ball back up if you fumble it. I will attempt to make the highest choice that I can make for myself at any given moment. I will be seeing Amma the hugging Saint on Sunday in Dallas, Texas with a friend named Brian who I got to know very well on a truck ride back from Bonnaroo. At the same festival I ran into a girl who had given me a ride back to Connecticut last year. She had quit her job and was substance free and wanted some tips on being a nomad.

For anyone asking me tips on being a nomad or being domesticated I will simply tell you make the mind as silent as possible and listen to your heart it feels much differetn then your ego. Trust me on this much. Choose out of bravery courage not out of fear or of lack. Be patient and trust when you have no rational reason to merely your inner knowing. Often I rely on rides from complete strangers that I have never met from the internet and hope that they follow thru on what they told me. One time it did not work out, but that was merely a miscommunication and worked out better as a result. Let life tell you what it has in store for you as you learn to listen as we collectively remember how to listen once again.

That Road and A strangers Car/truck

I figure that I have hopped in well over 75 different strangers cars/trucks in the last 7 years of being a nomad. Each one offered me some sort of glimpse into myself and the world in general. Most were met on craigslist and a few of them I met on the spot just as I needed to get somewhere. In one extreme case in Chicago I hitchhiked a plane ride from the now defunct miggs airport. At each moment these people have played a role in my life and in many cases we had hardly spoke until I got in their car. Some of them have become good friends and others were people I connected with in passing. In one case I got a ride from San Diego to Austin as the man completely emotionally and mentally unraveled in front of me stilling reeling from his wife leaving him, a gambling problem, and a large amount of coffee, cigarettes, etc... Yet I was not upset or bothered by his emotional instability merely another experience to have on this long unfolding journey. They have taught you to fear strangers and yet some of these strangers have become some of my best friends all because I just went with my feeling and trusted that would show-up at the agreed upon time. Many of these people have given great stories of laughter and sadness. I act as an observer and witness to this American experience getting to Know myself and our country.

A Small Introduction of Sorts To Couchsurfing and My life

Being a Nomad people ask if I get lonely and from time to time I certainly I have that experience, but even if I stayed in one place and never left I would still have that acute feeling of lonliness. People ask me where I am from and merely tell them I am nomad or that I am from the same place as they are or just make a sound that explains better then any words could express. My life is about perfecting living in the present moment and accepting the things I can't change and changing the things that I can. Currently I find myself in Austin, Texas using an internet site called "www.couchsurfing.com" which strangers open up their couch/floor/extra room/backyard/ or whatever it maybe to travelers such as myself. I joined the site 4 yesrs ago at its infancy with merely a few thousand people spread around the world and now it is well over 600,000 members. People have profile which include references and the friends that they have from all walks of life.

It certainly is different then the old fashion way of going to the bar and staying late and seeing where you end up. People have a tendency to be more open after having a few drinks to having spiritual healers/freestyle rappers sleep on their couch. On one occasion in a college dorm I had the girls google me as a way of showing my references. Somehow being a psuedo-celebrity makes couchsurfing a little easier and occasion I receive e-mails from people that I have met only in passing or never met at all offering me a place to stay if I ever make to such and such place. Tonight I was thinking of all the places I have been and the people I have met.


Everyone hss a different view of me and none of it is usually accurate somewhere in between exists a truth and usually one that almost nobody can fully accept in the same way we can't seem to accept many things. There are always unseen forces in life, but some of us are more aware of them then others. I recommend getting over your fear of strangers and getting on craigslist and grabbing a rideshare. Meet up with them for coffee or tea and vibe things from there. Trust your gut feeling and continue to hone it and one day the only thing that you can count on is that feeling. I am on quest to awaken to the greatest peace that exists inside of my core the same peace that exists inside of your core. I've had many ambitions, but this is the only one that I have ever had that warrants my full attention.

Thinking in A Brand New Way

I find that I am not trying to do so much and because of that very simple fact I find that more things keep happening around me. So often we work so hard to work against the very thing that we are trying to accomplish. As we slow down we can better see the entire picture and therefore are able to make choices towards a happier that we are all entitled to live if we give ourselves permission to be happy. I am more interested in my own inner experience then I am interested in the idea of beliefs. I can feel changes taking place inside of me that are bring me closer to my higher self. Our country is conditioned to live in a state of fear that there will not be enough and that we all need to compete and fight and then we miss out on all of life's simple pleasures. The government is breaking down and is corroding as we the people need to take the reigns of our destiny. This goes beyond voting this is us not tolerating the abuse of power. We have to elect in entire new brand of politician that we as people find on our quest for peace. The old model can not sustain itself and the bubble has to burst as we have taught the rest of the world the sickness of rampant consumerism that will make this planet incapable of sustaining healthy life. We still have many of our most influential leaders denying global warming and pretending that we are making headway in Iraq only to lose our supposed success a month later.

We keep going about things in the same way expecting a new a wonderful result. Now is the time to create sustainable forms of living and cutting through the red tape with common sense instead of being enslaved by this red tape that is only removed for the benefit of wealthy corporations. We have a spiritual wealth of happiness that we are all entitled to experience.

I Am Now Back Blogging

The road was filled with so many turns and that desire to express what has been taken place and slipped away for a while, but not is veering its head out again. I am still running for president and will not be shutting down or giving a concession speech anytime soon. Hilary raised hundreds of millions and I have merely raised hundreds and I am still in this race, but for me it is more a stroll. Turtle express style I am now in Austin staying with someone named Cheney. Remember for every bad Cheney there has to be a good one. I am not focused on any particular projects merely the present moment. The focus of the campaign is about ending the war on drugs which is a war on our own people that according to Rolling Stone has cost us 500 billion with no net positive results. In fact we have spent that money only to hurt our own citizens. The only effective way to handle the drug problem is through treatment centers which are grossly underfunded because even Presidents such as Bill Clinton did not want to look weak on crime. Yet the strategy for the war on drugs has failed just like the war in Iraq is failing. We are using the same broken model over and over again. 2/3 of this country is not engaged in the political process and that will soon change.

Music festivals offer an opportunity to connect with many people around the country searching for new ways to shape the policy of our country. As a people we need some to reflect and a willingness to change otherwise many more of us will suffer needlessly. I am not saying anything you don't know merely hoping to prod a innate desire to go within your own being and touch a greater peace to share with a nation which seems to be in a spiritual drought. People are running in so many different directions anywhere as long as they don't have to be in the here and now. I thank anyone and everyone who has made some effort to let go of the suffering so that can help others do the same.

That Road Trip That Changes Lives "The TUrtle Express 2008"

So Here I am in New York City about to take off on another road trip with buddies of mine that I know from the Jersey Shore specifically LBI. It is almost like some sort of right of passage that people I know from the Jersey Shore Specifically LBI go on a cross country roadtrip. At first it was just Smiley my vice president and then Matt Fisher and now Georgi and Dan Los and some guy named Ben Post from craigslist. We are heading to a musical festival called "Sasquatch" named after a mythical creature that may or may not exist depending who you talk to he is also called "Big Foot" for the average joe on the street. Georgi has gotten back from Iraq after doing interogation work and is looking to open up to the world around him and write and take pictures along this journey. The first part of this trip will involve Chicago and people who I met in NYC/San Francisco who are from Chicago. I have e-mailed a girl from North Dakota named Cassie who will be able to put up at least two of the crew and the other two will figure out some couches as well. Ben and Cassie are twists of fate from this internet age in which we live in. Along the way we will be selling t-shirts that we paint with different messages that we number in the back that express thoughts, feelings and ideas that are close to our hearts and things that merely make us crack up.

My first home is the road it is one the place where I am least likely to fall into any sort of routine other then listening to my intution and breaking habit energy that would keep me stuck in the same place. I got back from New Orleans before here having gone to Jazz fest and I have had over 10 run-ins with people who I crossed paths with in Miami. I just got a text message from a buddy of mine named Kurt who I met in NYC who remembered me from dancing on the campus of American University about 4 years ago. It seems that people don't dance on campus that often. I am hoping to document alot of this trip and wake up to my greater inner potential and help others do the same. I want to get over my attachment to an identity/ego that can cripple me from being my higher self. The higher me that doesn't care what people think or even what I think, but is merely striving to feel myself fully in the ever present now. On this trip I will lay a good deal of my ego to rest so that I can hold a deeper space of silence. On this trip I will be fasting at various points. On this trip I will be falling in love with something unseen but always felt. Miles Davis Blue in Green and the great American landscape for a reluctant presidential candidate that feels that even though most people get the shaft it doesn't have to be that way anymore....

Our true hearts desire is to be happy with who we are and what we are doing right now.

Video from the past hope you laugh and enjoy

We Have Not Talked iN a While

So many things to say, but mostly I want you to know that I am back In NYC Still healing, freestyle rapping, and running for the white house. Mostly I am just focusing on being present in this moment and let my intution guide me down the yellow brick road. I will start blogging again. Our banks and credit systems are set up in a way that they can keep stealing from us. Large corporations have to stop robbing the vast majority of overtaxed Americans who are not benefiting from the taxes that they are paying. We spend more money towards corpoartion welfare then welfare for American citizens. We bail out big corporations but not single working mothers. Funny where our priorities exist in this country. War gets more money then school. Killing gets more financing then education. I know that we will be turning this situation around.
President Te'DeVan

Check this one out Just found it online pass it on

Most Of Our Looking for Someone to have the Anwsers

In the void there is something that goes beyond anything any rational mind could understand. At some point we all have to take our last breathe. I am practicing being still a little more frequently and keep my feet deeply planted in one spot at one time. Yet the natural evolution of life leads us to the lessons that we need to learn. All of us are awakening in our way through our own path. There are great deal of things that I don't understand yet I have some sense of the greater truth that is reflected in them. Myth in our society is such a powerful thing and whose to say what is real and what is a legend often the two become intertwined. I still find myself in Miami and realizing staying put in one place for an extended period of time has great benefits but so does traveling around and connecting different groups from all over. Not everything is going to be that easy and the stillness of mind allows for more awareness which is truly the greatest healer. With awareness comes and acceptance of things for how they are and understanding of what we are capable of changing. Often I have been nervous or anxious at some point in my journey, but just a few more deeper breathes and some patience all things begin to reveal themselves. May I be grateful for all that have been given and thankful for all the love that I have given and received. New Orleans is pulling me closer and from there back to NYC to take a bite out of the big apple, but may this bite be my deepest as I plant myself there even more firmly then before.

We've Got The Right To Be Angry and Now we can drop the anger and make a change

I am not waiting anymore because it is time to take the youth and those who know how our country is being stolen from us. This is not a diatribe or an indictment just that we need to hold our leaders accountable and not our pop stars. Put the Paparazzi on the congressman and senators and not their personal lives but their policies. Bono lead to me end America's Bloody Sunday that just can't seem to end. There are agendas that running our country that belong to massive American people,. These selfish agendas are ravaging our treasury. We pay for mercenaries to kill innocent people abroad. Black water is the polution that we put all over the world and act clueless when it shows back up on our doorstep in the form of terrorism. We need to hold our leaders accountable. We need to come together and march on the capital that this government represents the American people. Our taxes are being stolen from and misspent in the hundreds of billions. We would better off burning half the cash at Burning Man and taking the rest and spending on the downtrodden American people. We keep pushing our poor and struggling people out of their homes as their rents rise. Fish don't worry about paying rent and many Americans are fixated on this thing just because a few people claim that the land belongs to them. How do we make these large oversights to be understood by the masses of Americans. Maybe we just need to turn into a reality show. A reality show focusing on this massive corruption. The new Uncle Tom's Cabin might have to be a non-fictional reality show that people come together in a deeper understanding.

MY Kind Your Kind Give me Just A Slice Of America

We all just need to learn how to share again and just take this moment for all the amazingness that holds and allow that inner freak to sip into our clothes, Words, moves, and just general head bob. Now is the time to explore to get out there and see something that you have merely read about. Push yourself to go outwards and find a deeper and more profound love of China, Chile, Japan, Fiji, And of course Kansas and New Orleans. Give me music give me dancing give me crazy clapping and finger snapping. Tell Bill And Ted that Wild Stallions are the horses that we were all meant to be. A stream of pop culture references are oozing into my writing right now. There is no way to miss this moment, but denial is a motherfucker and it causes so many problems, Instant gratification ain't fast enough and let me jump in car but the duct tape won't be needed because I am not Emniem. I am not as angry as I used to be because the dragon is dead and everything works itself out and I can't deny that I will die and that I will cry and laugh and that the cure for all things exist within our being. We just need to dig deeper and not race for a cure but stop and meditate for cures. We have millions of people dying from Malaria, Aids, and lack of clean water in a continent that we most associate with Blood Diamonds and Sally strthers and people that somehow don't seem real on our television. Maybe they just need to make better youtube videos or come out with a hot fashion line. Values don't generally change that quickly and knowing the things that will better humanity and being apart of these actions is the part that we have to focus on right now. My voice grows stronger each day there is a revolution brewing and there is a timing for things to erupt and place for people to listen. Listen for the silence and feel your self release those blocks in your throat and say your truth.

Make SUre she Is A friend

So you've won the lottery what the hell are you going to do with the money. Money and fame people act very strange agendas start to emerge. I don't care one way or another I am just listening to SHy from the early 90's "IF I ever Fall in Love Again". I am seeing the people that I have met in different places going through different phases. Be careful who you sleep with you or you can quickly find yourself caught in drama that you never needed that keeps you from the bliss that you have always wanted. Don't compromise and forget fundamentalism anything with the exception of attention to the breathing, but even that can be overcome. Can I make myself appear two places at once. I shaved my head and said goodbye to the past and fashion seems to surround me everywhere, but more importantly is my greater awareness of God in everything that I connect to that God has some part in taking us to a new level of understanding that we have to let if all go so why struggle too hard to get it because it was never yours to begin with. You were merely borrowing it and your just trying to find your breathe and let go of the jadedness and trust in something that your rational mind wished was more tangible. Keep your wits about you when everyone else is losing theirs and help those who want your assistance. Cast demons or negative entities in any name that you want to use but if the mind is not calm and clear then nothing is really changed. Some people are constantly in a state of conflict with themselves and the world around them.

Moses find a draft pick to speak his mind and risk all the endorsement deals because the people don't listen or trust the politicians. The athletes, movie stars, and singers are looked upon as some sort of prophets and they are usually just selling us stuff that nobody needs but somehow we can't remembered how we functioned without ipod, cell phone, and e-mail. Bring back the pony express or maybe the "Turtle Express". Don't try to make too much sense of things that you have limited understanding of a world where we only understand a small amount of factors acting on us and the others around us. I can feel that hand of God altering the landscape and keeping ready until the time is right and I am just waiting to hop off the cosmic couch and send my blessings to bedbugs in Brooklyn.

Break the Pattern Am I Resigned to My Fate

I once heard that we can do anything in this world its just that we can't control the outcome. Often I wonder how much of my life has been fated and how much of it can be changed or is is crazy to think that anything in this world is predestined in anyway. Maybe it is that certain events have a very high likelihood unless we take drastic steps. Maybe the only thing we can control is how we choose to respond to a situation. Fully realized beings are no longer in any way shape or form slaves to the past. In different moments certain people move to the forefront and background of your life. How will you deal with their eventual departure or passing. I want so many things and yet I want almost nothing at all merely a small desire to no longer be enslaved by my wants. To allow these things to fall away and to stop running away from this moment. Music inspires me to write and sometimes I listen to in audible way and other times I can merely hear the raindrops in my head. I have many quotes for many ocassions. I am soundbyte wizard who might actually spell soundbyte wrong. I want to revolutionize the concept of what qualifies as religion. Religion is the backdoor to avoiding much of life's nonsense. In a court room they make you take off your hat unless you wear it for religious reasons, but why are you obligated to tell them that before they threaten you with contempt of court. Perhaps you religion states that you don't have to explain yourself. Taking off your hat is merely an issue of manners and social customs. Yet where do our manners exist when we kill innocent citizens and call it a mistake or collateral damage. War does not make mistakes the very act insures that innocent people will die in the thousands or millions. Everyone has a vision of how their savior should be. Now is the time for us to find the peace maker inside of ourselves. "Peaceful is the new famous" is my new quote.

I am so over titles

Every now and then we fuck up royally to the point that we wonder if it was our intention to make such a mess of things. It was if part of our unconscious wanted to figure something out so we turned a simple situation into a trainwreck. All of us wander along trying to make sense of many things that we can't seem to grasp or truthfully we don't want to grasp. Along the way on this journey I have made mistakes but the greatest one is when I didn't show more compassion to a person in need and perhaps I was mad at them for small reason and I allowed that to block me from fully expressing a love that they really needed to feel. Sometimes people desperately want your help, but they are almost parlyzed to speak out and tell you that they need a moment of your time. I sit here in Miami Florida and somehow feel that much of my life consists of details that happened to someone else though most people would say that they were things that happened to me. Sometimes we hold to pain by continuously replaying the event instead of living in the present moment of now. At the bay, beach, ocean, lake, river, pond I lose myself and find myself submerged in the water that all life stems from on this planet. I am constantly having glimpses of my past thrown at me though I feel that it is a past that must belong to someone else. I can't fully conceive that I have arrived at this point whatever this point may happen to be. I am trimming my own bonzi tree and yet I desire not to trim it at all and allow it to grow completely unimpeded. Each one of us is connected to so many different people and bad vision allows us to see more truth. Love is light and light is love and yet these words have not fully be internalized by my being. There is tremendous mystery that surrounds us at all times. I have to stop and remember to heal myself so that be of better service to the world around me. Each time my heart is cracked open I am blessed to discover a new layer to this puzzle of life. I try to not over think but poise simple questions so that I can remeber to give compassion even when it is easier to somehow walk away. There is only so much walking away we can do from ourselves until we are forced to face ourselves. I recently met the head of a modeling agency who constantly has his head buried in his work of booking models. Yet when he shook my hand he felt something and broke away from his "job" for a moment and starting pouring out all these things that he wants to express and everyone at the office kind of stopped along with him. It is when we stop and slow down and find our own compassion that we find a greater understanding and avoid bad mistakes. Most bad mistakes are made as a way of running from ourselves. It may seem like life is moving too fast but life is moving at the speed that it always moves at it is merely we who move too fast.

Tell Everybody or Maybe Just Keep It A Secret

Some of us wait an entire lifetime for something to transpire that we believe will eradicate all of our suffering. Yet, if we are lucky enough to have it happen we quickly realize that it always comes with a new series of problems. Tell everybody or nobody what your dreams are and follow your heart especially when everyone tells you to do something else. We all need an opportunity to stumble before we can come to the conclusion what is that we really want out of life. Sometimes I ponder all of the places I've been a few of the faces that I remember. One of the greatest quests in my life is to find a freedom in myself that allows me to not be attached to things and to be present in this moment and experience the moment of now and breathe in the blessings. I had the fantasy the media had me swallow. Now is something that I can't put into words and words falter yet I still attempt to point at the mercury in your mouth and say spit it out. Spit out all the garbage that they have contaminated us with. Everyone keeps talking about 2012 or something along those lines, but right now it is 2008 and yet it will be 2012 before we know it and I don't expect some future date to offer me any solutions to not being trapped by my mind. Through my intense focus on my breathing and the music that exists in nature I know there is an order to the chaos of life. I want to speak in other languages. There was a counter culture that was once prominent that wanted to make the earth a better place and then it has now be marketed and sold to us like any other commodity. Buy whatever you want stumble as much as you want but know that there is a path and when you walk people can feel at it always warrants some sort of response. I never had to do anything that I have down, but to get at this point I had no other choice. I recently saw my 90 year old aunt and my life is beyond fathomable and she asked me if I would go back to the way I was. I guess I could have asked her the same. I am happier and more at peace with myself now then at any point of my life. I continue on my quest to an eternal bliss that is never dependent on external circumstances. All of us are capable of great many things and we easily lose sight of this most wonderful truth. Yet at first the truth can ssem like a nightmare but the greatest nightmare is running for that inherent truth that will allow us to finally be free. To realize and more importantly to accept the fleeting nature of all things and all the love we experience and share will be remembered.

So the Astrologer was Right your Ex-girlfriend is now married

I was in India in 2007 and when I was there I went to an astrologer and quite a few things that he told me have turned out to be right and the above mentioned title happened to be one of them. He is also very accurately pegged the time period which I spent with a tai-chi/chi-gong master from China. I found a few of his predictions to be a bit startling in regards to accuracy. I feel that I have been hiding alot of personal aspects of my life from the blog or more accurately not knowing where to begin> I was given a picture today to do a long distance healing on man's mother from Spain. I believe in the power of healing and certainly long distance healing is another avenue for that take place. I recently about 2 and half weeks with no cell phone and it was wonderful. I had some herbs from the healer John of God sent to me and I will start taking them tomorrow. Every day I amazed at how many people I have encountered. Tonight at a small gathering of about 12 2 people knew from New York, One from Venice Beach, and another recognized me from Wild Oats. Someone recently stopped me on the street and bought my healing sign off of me for $200. I have no idea what tomorrow or the rest of this year has in store for me. I am learning to fly without wings and remembering to fly is sometimes the hardest thing. I am looking for a ride to New Orleans where I will stay with a friend who I met at Bonnaroo. I dont care much for spelling as long as you can figure what I am trying to say more or less, but hopefully more then less. I am weirded out a little bit that my ex-girlfriend is married but more wondering if the astrologers prediction about the mafia taking interest in me might also be true. Rationally the mafia being interested in me does not make any dam sense to me being that I don't like guns, drugs, or racketering (unless it is Robin Hood, but still then I have my questions). Life has a funny way of working out most people are not patient enough to allow it to unfold and spend a great deal of the in between time worrying about many things that never happen. One day I will pass on and everything I touch and have touched and ever will touch the same can be said for it. One day "This too will pass". There a great deal many people who have come before me who or wiser then me. I seek to continue to find truth inside of myself. I met someone recently who got pulled into the nonsense of club life and spent a thousand dollars in one life. If charity organizations were night clubs at least a whole bunch of malnourished children would get fed off our decadence. If you don't feel the rain then you don't feel anything at all. Give them a guitar and a some drums and watch them wail.

So mUch to Express and suppress where to begin

Everyday I keep walking by a dead cat and every day it is there rotting away and I just walk around it and at one point it would have walked around me. I understand why people desire proper funerals. There does seem to be some sense of dignity about the whole life and death and process. People are always coming out of the woodwork and disappearing into the woodwork in my life. They are from all over heading on their own journey to understand themselves and we meet at some point and place and they usually doubt that I remember them, but given a few brief moments I can almost always place where it is I have met someone and some the details that were discussed during the conversation. Every moment is a constant reminder of where we are and where we have been and where it is that we are hoping to make it to on this strange and marvelous journey. I can hear the music of revoltuion and change everywhere I go and I can see a look of awakening in many people's eyes that symbolizing the awakening leading into 2012 and the beginning on a new phase for a much greater portion of humanity. We must again live in balance because are ways are not working and now is the return of the shaman or spiritual being that resides in all of us that has been lying dormant for too long. I often find little things nipping at my heels and sometimes we need to take heed of this nipping because it is a caution to be aware of what is going on around us in this moment. We all have gifts to realize and the most significant of these gifts is the love that pours out of us when we allow to come and do not resist the utter magic of a love without limits. Do not allow negative people to bring you into their lower vibration. Instead bring them to a higher frequency to help them with their healing. SOmetimes so much has transpired in my life I am somewhat intimidated at the momenutal task of even expressing a fraction of the experience in words. I try to relay stories that will benefit the person or persons that I am talking to at any given moment. All of my fumbles have made more aware to face my fears but also heed my warnings. Slowing down and focusing more on my own healing will greatly help my ability to heal others.

New Videos Pass Them On And Post THEM

Lets End This War.

Bringing this war to an end in Iraq involve everyone feeling a sense a connection to the awful things that are happening there. We continue to have our elected officials so willing to send young men and women out to the front lines, but their own children have cushy high paying jobs. We were told in 2003 by our president that this mission was accomplished as he got on U.S. Naval ship and put on his outfit for his photo-op. 5 years later this war is still dragging along and we have not caught Bin Laden dead or alive. I have not even heard any leads on this most dangerous man. We are more vulnerable to terrorist attack then ever before. I sometimes think about how we are sleeping walking and government agencies have not been looking out for the best interests of other people instead of our economic interests. We our constantly trying to support economic growth in a non-sustainable model. We can keep floating a little longer but half way into the next presidents term the repercussions of our present actions will hit us like a titanium wall. We can greatly lessen the impact if we all start working together collectively on different solutions and spend more of tax money on educating the youth to create and think independently. I look forward in bringing this forward to the nations attention in many different ways. In many different venues our campaign known as the "Infinite Cabinet" will be there making the world a better place by creating groups that are furthering peace inside of ourselves and in the world that we live in. Another of great civil unrest is upon us. The internet has enabled to us connect to each other in ways that were much more challenging years ago. Being present of the moment we are in and how we can better it are crucial for us being the change that we want to see in this world. Change is happening whether you are aware of it not and people are reawakening to their potential.

Dancing Koala Bears and Kangaroos

No more nonsense is almost always a promise that there will be alot more nonsense being an education president means that you still prefer to spend more money on weapons then on your own nations education. I remember the 90's 80's and the 70's were a blur. THey told me when I was 11 that sexual revolution was over just when I discovered the joys of my parents jacuzzi. I was still watching lots of cartoons as if it was my religion and I resented soul train because it meant the end of cartoons. I am believer in dance breaking out anywhere at anytime and it usually means there is 50% that someone will tell me that I have to stop dancing. We are country of slaves bragging about how free we are as we continue to be brainwashed into buying more things to fill feelings of being inadequate which are passed down from generation to generation. Our healing is our ability to break from the past to stop stuffing ourselves to a point of exploding on holidays and saying it is part of some sort of tradition of extreme gluttony. Suppressing emotions with food is our god given patriotic right and taking a car everywhere no matter how close the benefit if being an American. The framework is being eaten by termites but that is compounded by the fact that we deny that they are there or that it will be fixed by ignoring this simple fact. And how come the president never Gave me Bin Laden dead, alive, or in some sort of coma. 8 years later and we never brought this man to justice and still they act as if the country is somehow safer. Yet, I was at the airport recently and they told me we were at alert level orange. Yet nobody explained what the hell this meant or what I should do with this information that merely makes the blood pressure jump ever so slightly. As long as we are on edge we are more likely to needlessly consume and help keep a non-sustainable economy moving along as the dollar begins to move towards the peso. Where is Jimmy Carter when you need him and soft southern accents seem to have more well received by the American people. Only 1/3 of us choose our president and about half that 1/3 favor the person who wins. Faking an acid trip is easy it consists of doing tai-chi in public and not being of Asian descent. I am not here or there I am nowhere man seeking to awaken Hemingway's Ghost after I round up all his crazy kats for a revolution in Key West which will spread like informercial products to a nation of insomniacs who can't sleep without Ambien because they don't know what the heck alert level orange means. Why can't the alert be aqua blue or purple those are much calming colors. I feel that airplanes should have instructional videos with jack Bauer as the host telling us how we can stop terrorism. The chaos of this world eventually fits together like puzzle pieces that don't appear as we first saw them because the floride in the water was messing with our depth perception.

To whom it May COncern

Someone somewhere will hear you when they are ready to step forward and know when to push and when to pull and when to do nothing at all. Perhaps we have all been kicked out of our house to make our way in a world where madness is called sanity. Is dying really all that bad or is at a blessing that we give after we have completed our mission. I have dated quite a few cutters and yet most were embarassed or shamed by it and other cultures it is a socially acceptable ritual, but maybe for different reasons. We don't need drugs we are the drug and yet people think I am holding out on them when I say meditation lead me here. Meditation is eveything it is about being present to what you are feeling in this moment, Don't stuff it anymore. Let it erupt and from there it will ooze into eveything you do. Look at your own ability to freely move as the waterways carry into the ocean until man gets in the way. We are part of something amazng and yet many of us spend a great part of our life denying what is truly our ultimate power which is the ability to love regardless of all the madness that surrounds us.

Do you See ME Do You Remeber ME

Will you start pretending will you be honest with what you want what you are ready for and what you true intention happens to be. Do you even know why you do what you do or is denial your constant vehicle that you travel through life in. What if we are driving through feels of gold but there is nothing that feeds the hunger or quench the thirst. In this moment we have an opportunity to connect and share a true human experience and we make "small talk". I love traveling because it always takes you out of being able to fall back into that unknown vastness. Time is something that we can step outside of and we don't have to keep doing the same thing. ALl of us are seeking for some sort of hope or joy to take away that anxiety of this world that people consider as some type of living. Flash back flash forward flash now and fire out what is buried deep in your colon and deep in the bowels from a past that can't be consumed. The wrists hurts and even George Michael loses his faith before he truly finds his freedom. We have such guilt and we pass it onto to others. Draw paint and express things so that can be released and inspire others to do the same.They want you to be something or perhaps they want you to be nothing or they can't even decide it merely depends on which personality has possessed them at this very moment. The itch never goes away and Billie Hoilday is not just reference to the past but a feeling you have in the present. Everyone is at some point in their process and broken wings can mend or perhaps we realize that even the wings are merely magic feathers strung together.

FInding the Joy of Now

On the road or off that road on the backroads or byways no more highways going to the sky and other realms that we reach when the mind becomes a space with what some call "Zen mind" or "god mind". We are all here to find that place that screams yes you are home you are finally here. At times many people are too busy to feel their feelings and lifes dealings. We are jazz musicians without saxophones or clarinets but they exist deep in that core. A return to the 1920's can a nomad/hobo find a train to hop anymore looking for that next place that says "Yes you are home". Yet home to me becomes more and more abstract and most people are seeking anywhere but inside. Many times you need to get away from everything that you know and everyone who thinks that they know you and create specifically to the moment that you are in without dragging the past along with you. Magic happens when we surrender to a law that most people don't understand or refuse to accept, but it still dictates so much of what is happening whether we accept it or not. Can I become a born again jew or Rabbi they are always trying to recruit me whether it is Miami or NYC. Jews just want to keep you in the fold. Everyone wants to be a member of some club or group and only a few actually just want to be. Compassion is destroyed when people consider maintaining an image without any consequences to the feelings of others. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to hold onto a grudge to a moment that is gone. It is as insane as trying to swim in the oceans once you have moved to the desert. Laughing has s great power and most of us could use a lot more of that power. Now in this moment I know that my liberation is mine if will just give everything good or bad over to something beyond me. Let it all channel through and maybe if you are meant to then you will find yourself splashed all over and having your message reflected back at you. Back to the present back to the present.

Music Festival Magic

Our generations eccentrics, adventurers, and seekers go to these events desiring to experience something beyond the montonmy of everyday living that stifles people's imaginations. We all want to tap into our individual creative process and find in that exists healing. I am seeking that inner rainbow that exists inside of being that Judy Garland song to me when I felt that perhaps that I wouldn't ever find it. She told me a truth in her song not her disney image, but her real story was something that leads me on my quest on the yellow brick road. Perhaps the hordes of young and old people attending these festivals are following their own yellow brick roads and all leads to the same place. I have seen a greater awakening of the youth of this country and given other outlets that have an intense curiousity that far exceeds the previous the generations. The good news is that we are all part of life as much as we allow ourselves to be involved in the process. We can not give up because we each have a story that has to be seen all the way to end or a new beginning. I don't want to tell anyone how to live their life because I don't want anyone to do that for me. We are all unraveling and finding ourself returning closer to the source or the starting point. The Now is the most hopeful moment and running out the door before we are centered is cheating ourselves and the world that we enter into. When people ask me how I am doing? I just say "present" because that is the most accurate thing that I can express in words.

Spring Break And Healing

I am down in Miami walking around running into numerous college kids from all over and quite a few of them are aeeking some other then the stereotypical drunken haze of spring break. This is not to say that they don't still desire this aspect, but they still have yearning for something more profound. We all want to become more aware of who we are and our potential. Recently a good friend of mine pointed out to me there is a time to be in the stillness and a time to display a personality so that people can more easily relate to you so that you can them help to become more aware of their own inner stillness. There is a balance between yogi and politician. I am continuously realizing the importance of being in that state. I am seeking to express and explore all the components that make up what we simply call love. I have more a yearning to be of service and to help people consider the possibilities beyond what society has dictated to them. We must being willing to listen to that inner voice and create new genres of music, art, and film that go beyond previous understanding. We say things can't be done because we haven't seen it occur or we refuse to see it bevause it would threaten our current set of beliefs or we are terrified of being wrong because then we might have to change. I don't want to sell people short, but I don't desire to blow the proverbial smoke there are enough people to do that. Silencing the mind leads to a greater ability to hear the inner counsel and combine that with compassion. The silence of the mind is a great start, but that alone is not enough it must be merged with a great compassion and willingness to serve humanity for humanity is you.

Getting Closer To Higher Truth

It is something that is more subtle and something that brings us closer to a greater understanding of the world and where we have been and where we are going as individuals and as a society. We as individuals make-up society and we need to be willing to stray from social norms so that we can begin to create new patterns which are healthier for society. Many people will resist this, but you must do what feels right in your heart and not just go along with things because it seems easier to do. That will merely cause more suffering for everyone involved. You must be willing to stand alone and realize that you were never alone. We are part of awakening of talents people are becoming aware that they are much more capable of doing things that years ago would have seemed very foreign. We have become so disconnected from the natural rhythms of nature and have created a world in which we are immersed in the lives of drama filled celebrities always seeking to ignore what lays dormant inside of our being. I feel things as I walk around subtle magnetic tugs that bring me to certain people that I have met along the way ore people who might need my assistance or might need their assistance. Yesterday on the beach I witnessed hundreds if not thousands of spring break college kids doing their rituals. Some of them are searching for something greater and I was lead to a few of them. It always varies how much they want to seek within themselves and I merely act as a reflection for those who yearn to find a greater peace inside of their being not dependent upon externals. It is very easy to be distracted from things outside of ourselves yet it is so important to plunge inwards towards the pleasure that exists inside of our being. I continue to thank the higher source for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me. We are the light that continues to expand into the world. We must continue to plunge deeper into our being and clear out the mind. Clear out out the mind and you will have greater insight into all things concerning life in this world. Be that change and be that mirror for the world.

Healing Old Wounds

Every now and then in life we are given a chance to directly undo karmic debt with someone we met along the way. In our lives we weren't always as aware as we are now at this point and we were taken over by rage, jealousness, bitterness and other such things. Perhaps we will encounter these people and have a chance to help heal an old wound. This has happened to me recently and the healing takes place in a way that words can not capture. I am in Miami Florida right now listening to chanting music and have recently gotten back from a music festival in the Everglades known as Langerado. Along the way numerous people cross our paths and some of perhaps are people we that wronged in previous lifetime though we may have no conscious awareness of this, but an overall sense that we owe them some debt of service. I firmly believe in Karma and past lives and that sometimes we pay off our debt directly or indirectly. I used to be quite mean to a friend of my sisters when we were kids and yesterday we were lead to each other in a strange way to help repair some of those wounds. When the process had run its course I got up bowed and went on my way. There is a continuous flow that guides us if we listen to it. We are all apart of this flow and it will take us on all sorts of adventures. I am blessed to have all the spiritual riches that I have been given and blessed to be able to help so many people along the way. I continue to contemplate my immortality in physical body and debate between what is destiny and how much we can change our destiny. We may not be able to control the ride, but we can decide how to respond what happens on our journey. I want to bless everyone out there who has helped me along the way. At music festivals I get a chance to connect with all sorts of people that I have met along the way. At the last festival I saw a good friend from Boston named Dan and I could see his progress in his meditation path and along with another friend we held a spontaneous meditation circle that many people felt and a few joined at the music festival. These festivals are great places in many senses because people are coming to search for something. Most people don't step outside of their comfort zones and therefore they don't expand and stay with what is familiar. We all have opportunities to expand our awareness in each moment. Being in this moment and aware of what it holds is the key to being open to the gift of the here and now wherever that may be.

Presidential Videos

PEople Don't Always say what they mean Read Between the Lines

1) I think we should talk (I am going to talk and your going to listen)_
2) You are so refreshing ( I don't know many interesting people and I am surrounded by many drab people at work that carbon copies of one another)
3) I like really tall men (One day I will want to reproduce and I want my children to be tall because then they are more likely according to statistics to become CEO's and make more money)
4) I am exotic Dancer (I gyrate in people's laps and tease them as if I would have sex with them, but I most likely won't)
5) I live with my mother (I have no idea how to function in a world where I am responsible for cleaning,cookinng,etc... and now all my earnings can be spent on collecting comic books and video games and strippers who won't sleep with me)
6) You have freedom of speech (If you have enough money for permits and are willing to jump through hoops like a trained dog then for a brief period of time we will allow you speak freely in public otherwise we will charge you with disorderly conduct,diturbing the peace and any number of city ordiances that we can enforce at will)
7) No Loiterring (As long as you are dressed nicely then you are welcome to hang out as long as you want just don't look homeless or poor.
8) I am fine ( I am oompletely and totally miserable or maybe I am just numb to most things and I don't want to talk about any of that I don't think you would want to listen anyway. So make life eaiser for both of us I won't open up Pandora's box.

Can You Feel the Momentum

Things are building inside of you to the point that you know something is going to happen in your external world, but the focus needs to continue on being inwardly driven and being able to have a greater awareness of your actions and your words. If you merely become more aware of your breathing you can start to hit the off button in your mind and find that inner stillness. All of us can contribute to more peace on the planet as we find that inside of ourselves and this has a momentum that will help us to bring about external changes. There is great power in non-violent protest, but it is more then just are actions it is having a clear mind as well.

Bare Your Soul Or Your Just A Machine

More in more I make love to women through the eyes. I am more interesting in just starring into the eyes for long periods of time and just losing any sense of myself. It gives me such an incredible high such a feeling of relief to melt away my mind and open stir dormant feelings into awakening and at other moments I just feel a deep peace. It is a passion where I don't feel any need to move or talk or to even kiss the girl. Merely to be in her presence and take in her being through the window to the soul. I find myself having almost no desire to make idle chit chat with people I just want that intnese silence that can only be experienced in the eyes. I fall in love with a womans's eyes first which is her true timeless being. I met a girl recently at Herbivore and then we went to Ritual and we just stared at each other for hours. We both cryed and at one point she broke out into hysterical laughter. At another point she asked me my name again. I felt that it didn't matter and that she was merely asking me to avoid the silence, but the truest exchange took place in that silence. Her art work on her body was intriguing but none of it compared to the artwork in her eyes. That is where I felt grace and rapture and all sorts of things that make us part of God. Nothing else mattered to me and if I never see her again both of us bared our souls to each other as we were guided towards each other by a whole series of choices that we had made. For that moment I have incredible gratitude. If we are given 4 hours we want 4 days and then 4 weeks. May we instead be thankful for the moment we had and create the space for the next one to come whenever God decides that it is time for the next moment.

Bring on the Book Deal

Every now and then someone tells me that I should write a book and I thank them for the compliment and think that would be interesting. I wonder how would want to edit all of my writing over the last couple of years. Then I wonder who actually has time to do that and if anyone could do a good job. I realize that I just kind of do certain things because in a given moment I feel a motivation and I move on that feeling. I have traveled to so many different places and had countless rather humorous, tragic, odd, and non-classifiable moments and that it should be in a book of some sorts. So if you are an editor, publisher, book agent, etc.... feel free to contact me at your nearest convience. My number is 973-202-7176. Also if it is after 9 pm on the west coast or anytime on the weekend feel free to call me and ask me anything that has crossed your mind that might help you on your own journey. Ah the internet anything is oddly possible and we can connect with all sorts of people who we have never or hardly met in person.

The absurdity of Running For President in A Free Nation

Anybody truly can run for president usually most of these people choose to run either as Republicans or democrats and running as an independent assures historically they you will not win, but there is also a possibility that you can make a difference. You are free to say anything that you want because you don't have the burden of having to win. When people invest hundreds of millions in your campaign they usually kind of expect something. Quite often this means issues such as failing war on drugs, Juvenile detention centers serving as revolving doors for prisons, massive college debt to become educated, Over use of pharmacies, pollutions that are allowed to be put into our water and food, and many other issues are either ignored or quickly glimpsed over. Every since I was young I was told that we live in a free country yet if you don't want to work a job and rent a house you would be a vagrant and in many places they will throw you in jail. If you don't believe it trying be homeless on the Vegas strip. I find that we are born into this world and told that property is either private or public but either cases we charge people with trespassing. Our system has numerous mentally ill people who are not given adequate treatment and find themselves in jail because they are sleeping on a park bench. Before the summer Olympics in Atlanta they rounded many homeless people and relocated them to places where tourists would not see him. We handle our homeless problem by trying to hide in the same way that a little kid puts is whole mess in the closet or underneath the bed. Yet we seem to have enough money to go to war in Iraq for a humanitarian mission. Why is that humanitarian missions and oil are so closely connected. America we will help you if you have oil to help us. We did not seem to have a desire to rush into Darfur and help the people there. I want to create an atmosphere where politicians are held accountable. People will yell at me sometimes to get a job yet there are many jobs that don't benefit anyone and they make tons of money and in many cases their jobs lead to deaths of many people. We were so insistent that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction was it because we had the receipts. We do horrendous things in the name of capitalism not democracy and we play ignorant. If you look at history we have fabricated incidents so that we can use it as an excuse to go to war. To this day we have many US corporations who pollute the environment at home and especially abroad. They are not held accountable. Our whole system needs an overhaul and for that to happen we need more involvement and at least a 3 party system if not more. The balance of power lays within the Republicans and Democrats both of whom look out for their party beyond the benefit of struggling Americans.

WHo really Needs A title

The biggest thing that I have been focusing on recently is breaking habits allowing myself to go about things in a new way and with a new perspective. I was watching a chi-gong master on PBS documentary series and he was saying that being open to new types of growth and to always be changing and innovating. Once we get comfortable with something there is a resistance from the mind to go about things in a different way. I am striving more then ever to remain present and to keep tinkering with everything in my life especially my healing so I can go beyond what I have previously done. Not all habits we have are clearly destructive some seem harmless enough such as eating when feeling bored or anxious. Yet, instead of doing that we could be doing numerous other things that we allow us to grow beyond our present situation. We must continue to allow ourselves to be open to this present moment and experience it fully without trying to escape our feelings in this moment. More frequently then ever I find that when I make my mind quiet and blankly stare into someone's eyes a great sequence of different emotions will come forward. In presence is greatness, but that comes as we allow ourselves to take new steps towards expanding our understaanding.

Places I Remember Such As Chicago

I maybe in San Francisco, but Chicago keeps coming up for me. I can't seem to walk out the door without meeting someone from Chicago who recently moved here or is visiting from the other windy city from the midwest. I know that I will roll through there at same point as I can feel other places nipping at my heels. I am allowing my past and my belongings to disappear from where they came from. On March 3rd I head to Miami and from there I don't have much of a clue where things will lead me. Yet, Chicago in this case is a place but a metaphor for all those people and places that we can feel from time to time tugging on us for a point in the future. I am Here in this place called San Francisco, but the place means nothing if our state of mind is not in a clearer place. We all keep striving and we will all make it to where we need to be at the appropiate time, yet first the stage needs to be set and for the time being we need to merely enjoy our current moment and embrace all the wonder that exists in front of us and perecieve life as a new born.

More People In Your Corner Then You Could Imagine

Recently I have been listening to this song by Mista called "blackberry Molasses". It really captures a feeling that we all have and how important it is to keep pushing towards finding that inner peace because that will make all the problems of the world not seem so significant. Perhaps this is why people find themselves addicted to drugs. Many of them are quite sensitive people and they become overwhelmed and can't seem to figure out how to turn off the mind and plunge back into their soul so that they can recharge. All of the things around us fall apart, but the love that we experienced only grows stronger as long as we remember to feed it and nuture it. We don't have to say so much, but just be silent and embrace that inner reflection and appreciate a tree that we walk by and the air we breathe and our ability to know and meet the people that we have met. As I write this whoever you are wherever you maybe you have an opportunity to let the past go and embrace this moment so that you soar to a new height. We forget and through my meditation I begin to remember and eventually I will never forget. Thank you for all the people who allow themselves to change in ways that better allow you to hold a space of love for others.

Finding That Inner Intimacy

Recently it has occurred to me that what I am seeking and what the entire world is either seeking or running from intimacy. I find myself seeking this more and more inside of myself realizing that nobody give me this experience it is something that I must find in my inner being. They can hold a space for it to take place in the same way that I can hold a space for intimacy. Intimacy is touching that deeper part of self that makes everything going on around us not capable of effecting is in one way or another. I feel that we are all equipped to be in intense blissful states most of us merely can't seem to activate that aspect of ourselves because we are always losing sight of our true selves seeking to find something in a world full of things. Yet the greatest thing is "no-thing" at all and something we are born with and that we have the ability to activate whenever we decide to commit ourselves to that pursuit. Through simple processes of deep breathing we can find that we start to become more present of this moment no longer living in the delusion that something else outside of ourselves will make us complete. Some of us find ourselves knowing this truth yet our actions are still working towards lining up with this inward knowing.

Our Civil War Starts Inside Of Us

We are internally conflicted and it spreads like a disease that brings up war and anguish all over the world. We put out certain vibes and brain waves and that manifests in our surroundings. Most people rarely have a few peaceful moments and we focus on changing things that we can't and ignore the things that we can change. They shot Kennedy, King, Ghandi, Malcom X, and loads of others. It is pattern that needs to change inside of us and if enough of us change internally and external change will soon follow. I believe in prayer and I believe in meditation and I believe that most people don't pursue this path with half as much passion as we pursue our addictions. We have to want change inside of ourselves and to free ourselves from our own internal war. We have many changes and it will erupt in ways both beautiful and horrorific. We get closer to peace when we decide that we want to be vehicles of creating and expressing art because that is what we love to do not because we think that we have to.. We just stop slow down and kiss a tree because we all need to feel a kiss sometimes.

I keep heaidng towards somehting that iS Behind and Beyond me

I enkoy mispeliing things because we have rules for everything yet words are such imperfect thing=s and hence my spelling should somehoe relftect that to some degreee, but as long as you can feel the sentiment and your heart opens to a new possoibility and you feed that part of you that is too often overlooked, Feel that peace and the praise that comes form somehthing beyond any approval from your peers or your hero. I bow because IO give thanks that I can inspire anyone to extend themselves or search within themselves in the splendidness of silence. I am holding a space for the magic of Jazz to come back the magic of rock and roll created to heal and to fuse things together to not speak on of oneness but rather to feel oneness in its enterinty. Norah Jones tell me why you didn't call and maybe by that point I realize that it never even mattered even if my heart ailed on the sand. You invite me and push me out at the same time. Some part of you remains emotional unavailable and yet that was my upbringing. You have something that I have within my core and now is the time to express that core.

You thought the Story Was written But There is An Overlooked ei=dt

We sometimes totally are completely convinced that things are going to turn out a certain way because it is the only thing that seems to make sense to us at that point in time. Things enter and exit and they also wait around in holding patterns until the stage is set. There is a bigger stage seen by more and a smaller stage seen by few. We all have roles and sometimes we know this and other times we somewhat haphazardly stumble into something and they had been waiting for our arrival and perhaps we were waiting for their arrival as well. Maybe we were too blind to understand how important they were and took the little things they did for granted. We focused on all the things that didn't matter like it was some sort of life or death while the soul suffocated because we refused to properly acknowledge and feed it with music, art, writing, healing, dancing and the silence that it craves. We imitated what we saw even if it was disfunctional and painful. If I have eased anyones burden then I am blessed a thousand times. I will be called crazy by some and caculating by others, but that never really matters. The showing and giving of love is the most important thing I could do and the rest I leave to you.

Surreal is the way to Heal

We are artists in the way we live our lives but everyone is an artist some choose to express it more fluidly then others. People so often take things at face value and truly miss there real worth. There is an intention of love that overflows into all things and it has power to lead us towards a greater understanding with clouds of blue grey mist floating around. Floods of purple, blue and green and the the deepest void of nothingness. Andy Dufrane was a bird whose feathers were to bright to be caged by any system. At some point we explode out of our shell and just the piercing light of being is left and everything else falls away. We are in a time of grandiose change and America is ready to make that change. We are the beloved Guru's children. We are holding that torch so that we can make our way to the other side. We have moments where nothing seems to be transpiring but we can surrender to the infinite then we experience a release of emotion and tension. Not everything should or can make sense to a limited rational mind. Most things go beyond the rainbow with no beginning or end clearly seen. There is a return to worlds that have been forgotten and so they are quickly remember raindrops on the sand being swept into the ocean beneath my feet. Give me a treehouse with plenty of space for a large family and mango trees. Call me a realist that sees infinite possibility and is ready to hold a space to inspire the masses that are undaunted by what has come before us because not is a time to make a clean break from the past and things that have not been working.

I believe 4.13= 3.14 better Known as Pie

I believe the designated hitter is a good thing. I believe that the rising fastball was meant to defy physics. I believe that baseball was once holy. I believe that cooperstown in some sort of Mecca, Jersulaem, Tibet, where baseball was once America's past time. I believe that it is never too late to make the majors. I believe that rain dances do actually work. I believe that money does not buy championships. Maybe it buys wins but not the biggest games.

Our Campaign CUrrently Has A Market Value of $31

The sale of the presidential campagin is not yet over, but I don't think that matters. I am sure some sort of point is being made by this sale on Ebay. We have been underdogs too long. All we need is just the smallest light of day and we will shine some light on a whole bunch of issues that are skimmed over because these are other candidates are trying to win instead of serving the American people. I don't give a Kuala bear's ass about winning really we have come here to shake things up to bring break dancing into a ball room dancing competition. Bring it on and my dance moves are ready to take on these candidates. Now is the time and San Francisco is the place and we are the human race tired of being sold up the river. The top 1/10 of 1% percent make more then the bottom 150 million in this country. The gap has not been this big since the Great Depression. Lets make this campaign count for something. Are you some sort of long shot yourself? Have you ever been counted out before the fight began? Then more then likely you are an American citizen who is being robbed blind while busting your ass to pay the rent. We are the change that America has been dreaming about. We will say the things that other candidates fantasize about but don't feel it to be prudent. There is a whole in the titanic and people are still trying to dance around it. I want to thank anyone who told at least one person about this campaign whether living or dead. We can get dead people to vote for us I am sure they would support us if they could. You might think I am a bit crazy, but I might just be the lunatic your looking for. And if it comes down to it I will cut my hair and wear a suit, but it is a last resort I say or maybe first resort. It all seems like one and the same.

White House For Sale!!! The Ebay bidding May Begin

I am selling the Presidential Campaign on Ebay "If Big Tobacco and oil companies can buy an election why not the American taxpayer. Ebay maybe the savior of our democracy"http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESEX:IT&item=320214471620&_trksid=p3984.cSELL.m315.lVI
Presidential Campaign For Sale - eBay (item 320214471620 end time Feb-12-08 15:28:50 PST)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISA...
eBay: Find Presidential Campaign For Sale in the Everything Else , Weird Stuff , Totally Bizarre category on eBay.

Presidential Campaign For Sale - eBay (item 320214471620 end time Feb-12-08 15:28:50 PST)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISA...
eBay: Find Presidential Campaign For Sale in the Everything Else , Weird Stuff , Totally Bizarre category on eBay.

May this circulate into the hands of those who this is intended for and may it actually impact the American government and international politics God willing. One small shot of light in the dark can go a very long ways. Let the buzz and bidding begin.