Laughing At A Foolish Young Man

At time I still laugh at the foolish young man who resides within me. But I now am able to observe the insanity that years ago would grip my mind and lead me to make embarassing and ego-crushing decisions. These memories give me a fresh understanding of the habits that I work to cultivate, and of the habits that I work to break.

As we gain greater wisdom, there is that part of us that says, "why did I not understood these things years ago? Then I would not have committed such absurd follies!" But perhaps others can learn from my follies and avoid those same pitfalls. Or, perhaps my insights can help someone climb out of the hole that their mind has dug for them.

All of my follies were simply perpetuated by delusions of grandeur and a general fear of being hurt.

Sometimes You Are Neither Happy Nor Sad--Just A Peaceful Even Keel

I find myself in a place of feeling neither particularly ecstatic nor sad. I am feeling on a very even keel and there is a part of my mind that feels it needs the extremes of happiness or sadness. Yet there are only feelings acceptance and peace, and not too much taking place in my external life in this respect.

But whether things are up or down, I want to keep this even-mindedness in my experience of all things that may or may not come my way. I feel myself as the watcher and observer of my experience, as well as the experience of those around me. I am not sure if this mood makes for the most exciting writing. But things don't always need to be exciting nor do they need to be dull.

I have watched so many people come in and out of my life and more and more it has taught me to love with detachment, because attachment does not seem to help anyone through life's processes. I find that I am much more beneficial to those around me when I am feeling this peaceful and even keel. The key for me is not trying to force anything right now, remaining patient in this present moment and continuing to listen to my inner guidance.

The saying is that it is calm before the storm, and ulitmately I seek to be the calm at all times and never be thrown out my center into the storm by whatever may come my way. I am working towards not being a slave to the whims of my sensory perceptions. I am striving to remain objective when observing my behaviors, and to remain present to subconscious agendas that I may have.

To the mind, peace can seem boring because it often seeks a chaotic state in order to maintain its hold on you. The greater your peace becomes, the less of a hold your mind has on you. And you neither chase after happiness nor indulge in sadness. I was looking back yesterday and today on my earlier years and how much more angst there was, and how far I have come from that early part of my journey. So I here I am, valuing the discovery of a simple state of mind where I can just be like a five-year-old, blissed on breathing and dancing and singing and enjoying all the simple things. Recently, I have been longing for Georgia, a feeling that has manifested through listening to the song "Midnight Train to Georgia". I want to go to the hostel in the Forest, among other things. It is time to utilize my couchsurfing profile and venture out into new terroritory. Though it might be a few months before I make this trek, I feel Georgia on my mind and with it the desire to deepen my meditations and share my bliss in nature, enjoying the beauty of the sun and experiencing some Southern hospitality.

When Did It Become SO Trendy To Be A Pleiadian?

Really I want to know when this happened. I was not sent the memo and all of sudden, people started coming up to me at music festivals telling me that they were Pleiadians and they thought that I was one too. Or people would just flat out ask me if I was Pleiadian or they would tell me that I was a Pleiadian. And I feel slowly but surely there must be more Pleiadians than Earthlings which made me think we must not be on Earth. In fact maybe we are Pleiadia (take a guess at the name of the planet.)
It always seems to me that everyone wants a new identity, and a way of explaining why they never feel like they don't fit in. The old answer used to be that you were Gay or some sort of Artistic type and that is why you did not fit in. Or that you march to the beat of a different drummer, or perhaps you are on a spiritual journey.
Now times have changed and obviously all those anwsers became too contrived or too normal and it is obvious that the only explaination must be that you are a Pleiadian from Pleidia here to transform the earth. I am open to this possibility because after all, what do I really know. All of these different labels seem to be alternative forms of exclusivity. It all goes back to that "I don't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member." (Groucho Marx.)
And maybe that is my real issue here: that they are so quick to embrace into the group as a long lost Pleiadian. It seems to be in that same vein as people who tell me about being a poweful sorcerer, king, or shaman in their previous life. I am cool with that. In fact I will accept that totally. But right now you are working the slurpy machine at Seven Eleven and it's broken so assuming you want to keep your job, maybe you should fix the machine.

Really at the end of the day I am a simple man and I belive in simple miracles. In fact all miracles are quite simple. That is why we often overlook them. I did not invent any eloborate labels. Merely I just strive to have the inner experience without trying to intellectualize or hypothesize different theories.
I am not opposed to any of it and find it all quite amusing. I just want to express the very simple zen saying: "before enligtenment chop wood and carry water and after enlightenment chop wood and carry water."

I Find My Strength In Kindness.

I walk by so many people and sometimes I am merely compelled to stop in my tracks and acknowledge them through a deep bow through a smile through a handshake or through a hug. This society has taught me to fear strangers, yet within that stranger is an aspect of God. If I fear them then I am fearing God. How can I get to know anything if I am afraid of it. To fear strangers is to fear God. To fear God is to block the never-ending wave of unconditional love that God offers us if we fully accept it.
The mind wants to block that wave because the small concept of ourselves becomes enveloped in the infinite aspect of who we truly are. I am on a sojourn of truth and I will seek and I seek those who have found, so that I can make it to the destination as well. God is so close to us that at moments it is hard for us to see. God is closer to us than our nose but also just as difficult to see without a mirror.
The saint, the master, the true guru, and the Avatar act as mirrors that allow us to see our true selves without name without form. That is why I seek out such individuals. Each time I touch a deeper aspect of my peace which I can then share with others. The more we give the more we are capable of receiving. The more powerful we become the more humble we must also become. It is only the weak man who truly feels the need to let everyone know of his supposed "power."
I have had certain moments in my life were I was possessed by the illusion of power seeking to appear strong. The only strength I desire is that strength which pushes me forward to my beloved infinite. There is a guru named Babaji, also known as the deathless Guru. Often he is a the forefront of my mind and I feel him guiding my steps as I feel the hand of Christ guding my steps towards the goal of enlightenment.
We need not spend so much time speculating on whether or nor the water is cold or whether or not we can make it to the other side. We merely need to jump in the water and then we will know for ourselves. Once we jump in we must then seek to make it to the other side. Thru the grace of the Guru who is truly our divine Sherpa we are capable of making it to the final desination of enlightenment, which is a new beginning within itself.

God is endlessness, but to reach a point where the Maya or illusion of this world can never pull me back down is liberation that I seek with great sincerity. Our kindness paves the wave for such blessings as finding our guru when we are ready to receive such graces.

Seek the Creator Over The Creations.

Often I describe a one-month time frame as being a full year in my life because of the many events that transpire. I find the more work I do internally the more the external has to respond to us. I cultivate a stillness within myself or rather bring my awareness to the stillness that is naturally there. As a result, a lot of things start happening around me.
I am merely here to be a facilitator of music, magic, mishcief and general merryment. I have come for the awakeing and yes of course I have come for the revolution, but the revolution is the evolution of humanity. Our humanity is jeopardized when we become ensnared merely in seeking sense pleasures. The greatest pleasure never takes place in anything that I have obtained. I still feel many desires lurking in my mind. I try to remain present to them so that I do not become a slave merely here to fullfill these cravings, because it only leads to more cravings and it is never satiated.
Here I am 'here you are' and I am reminded of our first encounter and all that was to become was easily expressed in a few gestures and a few sentences. The details were unknown but the overall arching story line was expressed. When I first met one of my best friends, Smiley McNamara, there was this great sense of "Here We Go Again." It was as if we had embarked on a journey many times before and we had come together to embark on the journey in this lifetime.
Nothing is placed arbitrarily on our path. It is all there for our greater understanding and betterment of our higher self. Even our enemies serve as great lessons to further and deepen our understanding of divinity. Pain is the prod to remembrance and that remembering is divine.
This world is not our home, but may we treat it with more respect for the brief time we happen to reside on this floating spaceship of sorts. Sometimes I view my sojurn on Earth as being at sleep-away camp. Yet I am determined to stop sleeping and awaken more fully to the essence that prevades all of life.

God is my fashion God is my redeemer God is my partner God is my protector God is my lover God is my comedian God is everything that I could ever desire. Now it is removing the obstacles of the mind so that I can perceive more fully these simple truths. Believing in God and talking about God will not give you the God experience. God is not here to punish or condemn. That is the nonsense going on in people's minds.
God wants us to make it back home to him, but has created a game to see if we seek him the creator, or his creations. We can have his creations as well but first we must have him the creator at the forefront of all our thoughts and actions so that we can more greatly enjoy his creations. Here Here for seeking creator beyond the creations may we never lose sight of the goal.

God is the goal and if you take a few steps towards him, he will take many more steps towards you.

Keep It Fluid

There is a wildness to the busy city streets and there is proverbial manic magic that permeates the streets of NYC. I keep walking the streets and I am continually blessed from numerous people from different chapters in life, all there to bring me to my next step of the destination.
I feel a greater determination brewing inside of me and the motivation to seek God is ever-expanding. I am here to be present for this moment and find myself thrust into NYC just as fall is soon becoming winter. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I went from living on a bus in Venice, California to crashing with two of my dearest friends in Brooklyn off the Jefferson stop. When I wake up, quite often I take a cold shower that brings about a refreshing wave that reminds me how alive I am in the physical form.
I find myself seeking a sweet mischief and pushing my boundaries and heading down these new paths that are starting in my brain and it is a lightening coursing thru my entire being. Just the earliest flicker of a an ever-expanding blaze and my fears are slipping away. A prevailing love is dominanting more and more of my existence. I have come to be a part of history for the new spiritual renaissance, where man remembers that we are a truly immortal spirit that temporarily has a body experience.
I will use media to broadcast the message as the Guru's grace sees fit. There are things brewing inside of me that will lead to a furthering of people's quest to know God. I am here to know God. Not to believe in God or merely speculate on God, but to have the God experience. All of us are capable of this experience and I realize that all is given to me by God.
A couple weeks ago in Los Angeles a man handed me twenty dollars and said it was on him and then immediately corrected himself and said it was on God. Then I walked further down and asked my friend J.T. for a juice recommendation and he told me God was telling me I should have such and such a drink. I found this particularly interesting being that J.T. has never before told me God was telling him to say anything in particular.
We all have these moments and then we have dramas that attempt to suck us in and zap and deplete our peace of mind. We must be the rulers of our mind and this demands a mastery of the mind. I find that bringing my attention and awareness to my breath ensures that I keep myself coming from my being. I remain present so that I can respond to the situation as it best can be responded to, and do things that I never would have been able to think of in my mind.

I find myself merely fluidly moving from one moment to the next. I feel as if I am moving like water and therefore a cascade of grace. I have become enamored with this word Grace and a realization that all that I have is merely the Grace of God/Guru. I also love the word God and know it has typically caused people a lot of trouble, but I want to do some positive PR for the word "God." It is merely a way of pointing at the infinity of divinity that is dwelling in all things.

May we remember that we have come here to experience an unconditional love and share it with our fellow brothers and sisters.

Life Will Conspire For You

So last night I was and for that matter I am still in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I came for my uncle's 60th surprise birthday party. I had just won $50 at the blackjack table (an old habit of mine), but I managed to walk away on the upside. I then ran into a few family friends that were heading to the restaurant where we were convening for the surprise birthday dinner. I then started chatting with my uncle's best friend's son's girlfriend. My uncle is also currently their realtor. She thought I would make for someone interesting to sit next to during dinner at the very least. I then proceeded to share with her an idea I had for a reality television series specifically of the comedy variety.
She then mentioned that she works for MTV, and comedy is exactly the department that she works in, and they are looking for something exactly like the show I had just described. She also realized that she happened to recognize my mother because they had recently sat next to each other at the nail salon in Springfield.
She herself had some unique psychic experiences in her life and comes from a family of Romanian Gypsies. When they get a feeling about something, things happen. She mentioned that she was overwhelmed with a desire to bring her business card, but thought the notion absurd because of the circumstances of the night. Needless to say, as usual the absurd prevails in my life and last night was no exception.
I then proceeded to do some healing work on a migraine issue that she had been having. The room we were in was well air conditioned and despite this she felt a wave of heat through her entire body. This of course is not an uncommon experience that people have during a healing session.
Shortly after that while on the way out we ran into a young man who was a bit tipsy to say the least. My uncle had been chatting with this young man earlier in the garage and he recognized me from music festivals and referred to me as the 'shaman.'
He and his girlfriend asked me if I would do what I do for them and I agreed. He said he only had $5. I said that I never turn anyone away if they are sincere in their desire. I could greatly sense his sincerity. We ended up in the back hallway intended for employees only. After his healing while I was working on his girlfriend we were told that we were not allowed to be there. Although, we were left alone for a few moments to allow the healing energy to run its course.
Shortly after that I was doing some tai-chi exercises in the hotel lobby area of the Casino-Hotel. Needless to say, it isn't China and the simplest actions of calm can cause such large ripples. One young gentleman preceeded to do some of the exercises with me. He was struggling intensely with anger and sadness in regards to a particular female in his life. This is something that I know all too well. After a little while he calmed down. Although he was feeling more of his sadness, the mask of anger and confusion was slipping away. You could feel more of a peace emanating from him. Later in the evening someone else recognized me from somewhere, but he did not know where and he decided that I must be famous. Thirty minutes later he was talking about fame and I simply said, "I know many unhappy famous people--it fades: seek enlightenment that will never fade." There was a look of understanding and a deep appreciation on his face for pointing out the delusion of fame which our society is taught to regard so highly.

Life is a funny and splendid thing. I never would have imagined that any of these events would have taken place in Atlantic City during my Uncle's surprise birthday party. There were other beautiful moments and events that occurred last night. It is the constant reminder that will always conspire for you, and we merely have to be present for the moment and allow things to unfold as divinity had planned.
I send all my love to whoever reads this and I hope that you find more than you can imagine inside yourself. My life can appear to be very adventurous and it most certainly is. There is also a lot of peace and the greatest experience is the one that exists inside of us, and that is something we take everywhere we go. At any moment we are capable of experiencing a love and a bliss that words are not capable of expressing such sensations and feelings. We can only vaguely point to the experience. Ultimately we all have to open ourselves up to having that experience on our own.

The Guru just left for Vegas.

Recently I ran into a friend of mine that had seen me in the Diag of Ann Arbor, Michigan. He also ran into me a few times in the Venice and Santa Monica, California area. I went with him to Laguna Hills, California to see a guru that I had heard about thru a flyer I was given at Bhakti Fest, a Kirtan Yoga music festival that took place just outside of Joshua Tree, California in the middle of September.
On the way there my friend and I got stuck in traffic and were running about an hour late for the Darshan (spiritual blessing from a saint.) On our way I told my friend that often we think we are going somewhere for a particular reason only to discover it is not quite what we expected, but that there is always a reason why. Once we arrived at the address we noticed that we were in a cul-de-sac in Laguna Hills and the lights were not on and nobody was around at all.
We made a phone call only to discover that they had changed the date of the Darshan on the website and we had an older flyer. I figured we had come all this way for a reason and I was so determined to have my experience that an urgent need to use the restroom encouraged me to ring the door bell of a house across the street from the address we were given. We were told by another neighbor that the people in these houses were indeed connected.
A very sweet woman who opened the door told us the Guru had gone to Vegas. Well of course we were somewhat disappointed, but my immediate need was to use the restroom. She obliged very lovingly to allow me to do so and my friend also entered into the house/Ashram (religious hermitage.) After I got out I incessantly pushed her to share her experiences with her Guru. After all we had come an hour and a half, at least we could hear some good stories. As she started to speak of her experiences I could feel an ever-deepening calm and peace descend upon all of us.

We stayed for an hour and a half, mostly listening. I shared a few of my own experiences as well. And even though the Guru's physical body had left for Vegas, his presence in the house/ashram and his presence thru his disciple poured out an experience that was exceedingly blissful and palitable.

It is funny how things won't turn out how we thought they would, but exactly how they were meant to be. We need to accept this very basic fact and life becomes a lot easier. I continue along this journey amazingly thankful and blessed for the people that continue to come into my life and even the ones who almost come in. They are just right around the next ashram.

Say It isn't so, but if it is so may I accept it.

I want to find myself constantly in a state beyond the mind. This does not mean that you can't function, but merely that you come from a place of awareness that feels light and easy like a George Michael Careless Whisper.
Yeah maybe I have to say goodbye for a few years. But it is better than saying hello when I can't even talk to you and all I got was an occassional text message. I had to push it to the point that you said no more. It had to be no more so that I could be free to pursue my heart and purpose without holding onto something that is merely in the ether. I deepened my love and the hurt was deep, but it has made me more compassionate and empathetic and stronger in my resolve towards the infinite.

The mind is a stubborn thing and it sometimes has to be everything or nothing and something in between in the bardo of uncertainity that stops us from what we both deserve, which is to be happy.
It would have been easier had it happened with even a phone conversation or just one in-person meet up. I figure it only fair based on the things that were previously said and shared, but you were scared and so was I, yet I had a willingness to explore that fear.
Now I enter into a brand new chapter and part of that chapter is building a foundation along what I have spent the better part of lifetimes formulating thru the soul's eternal quest. And when love is true there is not always a need to call and say I love you. As love becomes more true it is reflected in our very being and that love needs to start within ourselves, and I will start with myself right here right now.
And that is all we can do, is start with ourselves.

Back to New York City for the winter. Are you serious?

As I sit here, my friend sits here telling me it is now women breaking men's hearts and there has been a role reversal. Or this is at least among the male friends that I am hanging out with in San Francisco at this moment. I am a few hours from going back to New York City after spending a few days in San Ramon at Amma's ashram. There I reconnected with old friends and made new ones and kept noticing a reocurrence of people who practice Kriya Yoga and who are very drawn to Yoganda. I am feeling as if I am back in college and that I am heading back for Thanksgiving break but that was nearly 9 years ago. "Time flys" becomes more than a cliche as we get older.
I find myself striving to create more good habits and allow bad habits or things that no longer serve my higher self to fall away. ,Along the way we are going to stumble, but we just have to keep getting up at not beat ourselves up over being selfish in our last relationship or over hurtful thing that we said to a friend of ours.
We need to forgive ourselves and return to old places as if they are new places. When I was at Amma's ashram I was given opportunities to go down old roads, but I just let them move along. I find myself at a new stage where I want to be with a partner who has found her own footing.

In the past I have found myself in situations that were good in many ways but still not what I was looking for. There was that feeling of loneliness and that desire to have someone with which to share the journey. But we crashed and burned and many times we choose each other for that very reason. It was a part of me that was stubborn and seemed to need constant reminding. And even a great heart with a messy mind that wants to stay that way makes for an imbalanced relationship. It always takes two on the same level of awareness and willingness to work towards the higher essence that exists within both people.

Lets raise the bar and lets not settle and compromise and maybe we will have less infidelity and wandering eyes and all that stuff. Yes the mind is a messy thing. I know this very well from my own experience, but I also know that if we seek deeply we can go beyond the mind. And beyond the mind we can find a love that brings us together to seek the creator and not get stonewalled by the creations.

By the way I am doing my first Manhattan winter in quite some time just because I feel that is where I need to be. Not because I prefer the cold, but because trusting my inner voice gets me to all the blessed experiences that I have received. It has been 7 years since I have been in New York City during this time of year. I look forward to all the new experiences and people that will come forward.

I Missed You Even Though We Just Met

Sometimes I meet somebody along the way and though it is the first time we have met, the feeling that I know them is quite strong and powerful. When I give them a hug it is a feeling that I have missed them or of being in contact with their soul in the human experience.

I often find that with certain people we have an immediate connection, and from my experience it is connected to previous lifetimes that we have spent with them. We all have been here so many times. Energy can not be created or destroyed, it merely changes form or is transferred, to paraphrase the law of the conservation of energy. Our energy was here before, it is here now, and it will be here when we meet again. Same energy, different time.

I am honoring the simple beautiful fact that I know people whose names I have never uttered before in this lifetime. There is a feeling that everything slows down and you are given at times an over-powering hit of 'here we go again.' It feels as if I am picking up with them where I last left off. It may have been 3 lifetimes ago but in this present lifetime and moment they have returned sometimes briefly and sometimes for the long haul. But they have been a part of my journey long before I met them and will remain a part of the journey long after they are gone. And when I part ways from them I think I want to tell them I missed them and it was good to see them again even though it is merely our first encounter in this lifetime.

All of us are marching towards the infinite; all of us are remembering more and more that this is not our first lifetime. Eventually it will be accepted as common fact and in some cultures it is indeed accepted as fact. Call it reincarnation or any number of explanations. You never know when somebody will re-enter your life from the past.

I recommend remaining present and allowing yourself to explore it when you feel that wave of familiarity that you can not quite explain. Allow yourself to talk to these individuals as if you have known them because in likelyhood you have known them before.

Note From New Editor:

Mr. Kurzweil has accepted me as editor of his blog, Slacker Prophet, as of this week. I look forward to working with Mr. Kurzweil in publishing his content. I also look forward to feedback from all of his followers should they find issues with the writing quality of his blog.
Mr. Kurzweil has many plans for publication on his blog. Readers can expect to see some slight changes in content in order to ensure a consistent quality and readability in publication. He wishes to produce a professional, top-rate blog with professional, top-rate material.
Some previous posts may be edited and re-published to ensure quality of content, and for clarification for new readers/followers. If a post seems familiar, it might be a re-publication post-edit. All re-publications will be duly noted.
We ask for your patience and understanding as we work together to ensure total quality with this blog. Some replies and content may have a slight delay in publication due to editing. This is only to ensure all content has been professionally maintained.

Thank you,
Editor